But Make It Hallmark

Chinggay and Patty call it—this is Chesapeake Shores’ best season yet. Every character from Grandma Nell to all of Abby’s and Bree’s love interests get a well-earned shoutout in this comprehensive breakdown. Plus, F*ck Marry Kill, Chesapeake Shores edition.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty are so floored by fall, they actually deign to recommend their usual Hallmark nitpicks: “believable” time travel, country music cha-cha-chas, and divorced exes riding horses together. The most notable stars of this season, however, bring spicy Argentinian and Cuban flavors to a slowly evolving HCU. Bring out the wine and the ropa pie, and cheers to fall!

Love Strikes Twice (Katie Findlay, Wyatt Nash, and Marshall Williams)

Roadhouse Romance (Lauren Alaina and Tyler Hynes)

Advice to Love By (Erinn Westbrook and Brooks Darnell)

Raise a Glass to Love (Laura Osnes and Juan Pablo Di Pace)

South Beach Love (Taylor Cole and William Levy)

Taking the Reins (Nikki DeLoach and Scott Porter)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty speculate on the upcoming holiday movies, since Hallmark failed to give us any info on what to expect. Also included, the folks we’re missing this year, and the folks + movies we wish we didn’t have to watch. Brace yourselves for some BMIH snark.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty take a stab at even more summer movies — going meta with tv-themed storylines, embarking on yet another adventure in search of wildlife and waterfalls, and finally finding justice for Wes Brown.

Before ditching your sunnies for pumpkin spice lattes, listen to the detailed dissection of Andrew Walker’s impeccable Hallmark-copyrighted talent.

Sealed with a Kiss: Wedding March 6 (Josie Bissett, Jack Wagner)

A Little Daytime Drama (Jen Lilley, Ryan Paevey)

Love, For Real (Chloe Bridges, Taiana Tully, Scott Michael Foster, Corbin Bleu)

Journey of my Heart (Rhiannon Fish, Darien Martin)

Sweet Pecan Summer (Christine Ko, Wes Brown)

The 27-Hour Day (Autumn Reeser, Andrew Walker)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty bid a not so fond farewell to Sam, Cassie, and the rest of the Good Witch crew in low spirits. They run through this bummer of a season so nobody else has to. You’ve been warned.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty go through a melting pot of rehashed plotlines, attractive destinations, pretty leads, and fresh new faces to the HCU. 2021’s Summer Nights provides a mixed bag of teen angst, mature love (always a BMIH fave), carbs, and small towns needing a tourism Hail Mary. Plus, our hosts plot the perfect HCU Avengers-style movie mash-up.

Sand Dollar Cove (Aly Michalka and Chad Michael Murray)

Her Pen Pal (Mallory Jansen and Joshua Sasse)

The Baker’s Son (Eloise Mumford and Brant Daugherty)

You Had Me At Aloha (Pascale Hutton and Kavan Smith)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty rake through the Hallmark archives to watch a compilation of regency remakes. Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, and Emma Hallmark Channel style did not go down well… so to take the bitter taste of Austen blasphemy away, Chinggay and Patty proactively cast their own Hallmark-Austen adaptations.

Unleashing / Marrying Mr. Darcy (Cindy Busby and Ryan Paevey)

Christmas at Pemberley Manor (Jessica Lowndes and Michael Rady)

Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe (Lacy Chabert and Brendan Penny)

Sense, Sensibility, and Snowmen (Erin Krakow, Kimberly Sustad, and Luke Macfarlane)

Playing Cupid (Laura Vandervoort and Nicholas Gonzalez)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty head back to Hope Valley and wrap up the last six episodes of “When Calls the Heart” season 8. They spice up the boring bits with Sex and the City mash-ups, subversive feminist plot possibilities, and an outpouring of love for Rosemary Coulter. Stay for F*ck, Marry, Kill, ladies edition.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty’s favorite Hallmark season is here—Spring Fling. They discuss Hallmark’s foray into more “adult” content (abs and morning afters?), and tackle the clear winners of the season: Irish accents and new-to-the-HCU starpower, plus Filipino representation done so, so right. Also, a first in BMIH: a Red Wedding massacre in F*ck, Marry, Kill.

Spring Fling

One Perfect Wedding (Taylor Cole and Jack Turner)

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart (Italia Ricci and Ryan Paevey)

Chasing Waterfalls (Cindy Busby and Christopher Russell)

Right in Front of Me (Janel Parrish and Marco Grazzini)

As Luck Would Have It (Joanna Garcia Swisher and Allen Leech)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty run through two seasons’ worth of all-new movies from the HCU. They go over the clangers, anti-heroes, and sub-par character arcs; and celebrate 2021’s unmissable stunners: broad shoulders, hair product perfection, and OTT Parent Trap plots. Stay for a few surprising BMIH firsts care of F*ck, Marry, Kill.

New Year, New Movies

Taking a Shot at Love - Alexa Peñavega and Luke Macfarlane

Snowkissed - Jen Lilley and Chris McNally

A New Year’s Resolution - Aimee Teegarden and Michael Rady

Love Ever After

Beverly Hills Wedding - Brooke d’Orsay and Brendan Penny

It Was Always You - Erin Krakow and Tyler Hynes

Mix-Up in the Mediterranean - Jessica Lowndes and Jeremy Jordan

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark