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Snoke is back on his BS, trying to seize military control of the galaxy. While Leia things they have a chance to fight back especially if Luke returns. Who can really say for sure. 
Poe is like why wait for Luke? Let's get out there! So he goes and tries to launch a counter strike against the First Order. Leia isn't having it and she tells him to disengage. He does not and with the help of some others from the resistance, destroys a First Order dreadnought and gets outta there via hyperspeed. Snoke is not pleased. 

Meanwhile, Rey hands Luke his lightsaber which he promptly throws it down the mountain. He's like I'm not coming, there's nothing I can do. Did you think I was just going to come back and magically save the day? It's not gonna happen. But Rey doesn't give up. She just follows Luke around the island for a while until Rey ends up feeling the force draw her to this cave with books - the original jedi text. It's at this point that Luke realizes that Rey may be special. 

Poe gets back to the base and Leia is not pleased with him, and it goes from bad to worse because the first order has tracked them down through light speed. Leia orders Poe and the otherrs to get back out there and fight them off. Kylo Ren, feeling the pressure from Snoke, is out there leading the attack, piloting his own ship. He is about to blow their ship up when he realizes that his mom is on board and hesitates. But one of the other pilots shoots and causes and expolosion which sends Leia flying into space. She is able to use the force to get herself back to the ship where the crew works to save her. 

Luke continues to say "nahhhhh" to Rey until R2-D2 shows up and convinces him to train Rey. But he's not happy about it and tells her that this training will show her why the Jedi needs to end. 

Finn is beeboppin around where he bumps into a mechanic named Rose. They figure out where the tracking device must be and Finn knows how to get them there. They take the plan to Poe and he says lets go for it. 

Back on the island, Rey and Kylo Ren begin communicating via the force. This chat is cut short when Luke Skywalker takes her away to give her her first lesson. He attempts to teach her how to feel the force and control it. Rey is able to see visions some small pebbles begins to float. She did it! 
However, she soon sees a vision of herself being pulled toward a dark pit. Luke yells at her, telling her to resist it. She does not. Suddenly water snaps Rey out of the vision. Luke says she saw the dark side of the Force, and she didn't even try to stop herself. He is very disappointed in her. He has seen this raw power once before and it did not end well. 

Luke explains that the last time he saw Kylo Ren, Young Ben as we call him around here, he was his student. He took him to train him in the force but Kylo gave in to the dark side and attempted to kill Luke by having a hut collapse on him. She tells Luke that he didn't fail Kylo Ren, Kyle Ren failed him.

As Rey and Kylo continue to connect, Kylo tells Rey that Luke saw the power growing in Kylo and had attempted to get rid of him before he got stronger.

There's this whole journey that Finn and Rose go on at a casino and these giant cat things. They meet DJ who overhears the two of them needing a code-breaker, and he offers his services. 

Rey has another conversation with Kylo and he tells her that what Luke told her is not true. He made that hut collapse because he woke up from slumber to see Luke holding a lightsaber over him, getting ready to kill him. They reach their hands out to each other and they touch hands Neil Dimond style. Sweet Caroline. 

Luke senses this and puts a stop to it. Rey confronts Luke over what Kylo told him. They fight a bit and then he explains that he could sense that there was nothing but darkness within Kylo and He did consider killing him but backed out of it, only for Kylo to see him with the light-saber and assume that he was indeed going to kill him. Rey tells him that she could see that all hope is not lost when she touched Kylo's hand and she's going to go to him. 

Luke is frustrated and is met by Yoda. He tells Yoda he's going to destroy the Jedi texts and Yoda is like one step ahead of you and does it and he tells Luke to help Rey. 

Rey arrives on the same ship as Kylo and is immediately taken prisoner. 
Rey tries to get Kylo to abandon the dark side but he's like it's you that will join the dark side. Kylo brings Rey to Snoke. 

Holdo, who is in charge while Leia is recovering, starts to set in motion plans to evacuate. Poe believes she is up to something and he attempts to stage a mutiny. Before his plans can go into effect, Leia appears after waking up and she blasts Poe. Leia allows Holdo's plan to go ahead and off they go. 

Snoke reveals that he created the connection between her and Kylo in an attempt to destroy Luke. He begins to use the force on her to get her to spill the beans on Luke. 

Finn, Rose, and DJ make it to the First Order's ship. They are captured and DJ immediately comes clean about their plan to save himself.

Snoke attempts to get Kylo to kill Rey with his light-saber, but Kylo uses Luke's light-saber to impale Snoke and cut him in half. Rey and Kylo then team up to fight Snoke's soldiers. 

But don't get it twist - Kylo has not given into the light. He says it's time to let old things die and he invites Rey to join him in dark side. He even brings up how she knwos the truth about her parents - they were junk traders who sold her off, hoping that would cause Rey to give in. But she eventually resists.

While that's happening, Holdo sacrifices herself to help the resistance get away. This also allows Finn & Rose to escape right as they're about to be killed. 

Kylo Ren is like I'M THE CAPTAIN NOW! And he orders gigantic walkers to go to the Resistance HQ. Poe leads Finn, Rose, and a few others to fight back. 

Rey and Chewie come down with the Falcon to help which really makes Kylo mad. Finn is about to sacrifice himself but Rose crashes her ship into his to stop him. Finn goes to her and asks why she did it. She tells him they always fight for what they love. She kisses small ones and then passes out. 

It's not looking good. Leia is feeling defeated. Suddenly, Luke arrives. They chat a bit and then he goes to take care of business. 

Luke goes out to face the First Order by himself. Kylo orders they use every blaster they can on him, which they do. When the smoke clear, Luke is there...unphased by Kylo's blasters. Poe sees this and realizes that Luke is distracting the baddies to allow them to escape. But their escape is blocked by rocks. Luckily, Rey shows up to clear the rocks and get them free. 

Kylo goes down to face Luke himself. They duel with their light-sabers, and Kylo attempts to strike Luke with a killing blow, only to realize Luke is a hologram... he still on his island babyyyyyy. Luke tells Kylo that he will not be the last Jedi. He vanished and we see him back on the island. HE finally vanishes and becomes one with the force. 

Rey tells Leia that she can sense that Luke is now gone, and she asks what will become of the Resistance now. Leia tells her they have what they need to rebuild.

On Canto Bight, a trio of stable children that previously encountered Finn and Rose are telling each other the story of Luke Skywalker. Their master comes over to scold them to force them back to work. The boy they had found in the stable goes outside and uses the Force to draw a broom to his hand. He looks up at the sky to see the Falcon flying overhead, and, with Rose's Resistance ring on his finger, he raises his broom like a light-saber.

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An obsessive fan kidnaps a former child star to live out the fantasy of having her character as a best friend. 

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Eric Field hops on a train, heading back to Italy. Why? To find his 24-year-old daughter, Liv. Eric has a complicated relationship with Italy, so he’s not exactly thrilled to be there. And he’s even less thrilled to learn that his daughter is apparently trying to buy a villa.

Liv catches him up on what she’s been up to: she tutored English in Milan, nannied in Florence, worked harvesting olives, then came to this village for a wine festival—and fell in love. Eric’s like, “I thought you’d come over here for a little bit and then come back to Ohio.”

They walk into a coffee shop where Eric meets a woman who clearly strikes his fancy. He immediately starts unloading on her about how his daughter is being ripped off by the mayor, who’s trying to get her to buy some dumb house for one euro. Turns out, this woman is the mayor.

Liv explains to her dad that she wants to buy a place here to feel closer to her late mother, who was very proud of being Italian.

So the three of them go check out some dumpy houses. Apparently, the mayor, Francesca, is doing this one-euro housing program to help boost the village’s economy by bringing in new people. The first few houses are awful. But the last one? It’s amazing. The problem? It’s not technically on the list yet. Still, it’s clearly the one.

Eric goes out with the mayor for gelato to talk more about the house. This guy named Bernardo, who’s in charge of permits and such, is also there—and he’s not fond of the idea of a non-Italian buying property in the village. He’s worried they’ll change things.

As work begins on the house, Eric keeps trying to take over and pushes Liv to just renovate and sell it. But Liv stands her ground. Eric finds out Francesca has been widowed for five years—two years longer than he has.

There’s this guy named Giovanni, a chef who’s very into Liv, but she’s not feeling it. Eric, however, likes him and is super impressed with his food. That gets Eric thinking: the villa has an authentic brick pizza oven and chimney.

Eric invites everyone—including Francesca and Bernardo—to pitch the idea of turning the villa into a culinary school, which could help boost the local economy. He asks Giovanni to participate and encourages Liv to give him a shot.

Eric and Francesca go on what might be a date… or might not. But things are getting serious.

Meanwhile, Eric’s been gone for two months, and his employer tells him that the competition is trying to poach her. She’s considering the offer because she’s not sure Eric is ever coming back.

Later, Eric and Francesca go to a beach party—and end up kissing. They head back to her place. The sparks are FLYING. Eric starts to wonder if maybe he should just stay and be close to his daughter.

But then Liv drops a bomb—she has the opportunity to do a year-long interior design apprenticeship in Rome. Eric’s like, “That’s amazing!” And Liv says, “You should stay here and help run the villa!”

Things take a turn when Bernardo finds out Eric and Francesca are together, and he’s not happy. At the unveiling of the restored fresco in what will be the culinary school, Bernardo brings in the American Longos, who he claims are the rightful owners of the villa. In response, Eric offers to give the couple the villa—if they pay for the renovations.

Francesca isn’t about to give up without a fight. She investigates and discovers that the Longos are actually related to a different house in town, not this villa. She rushes to the train station to stop Eric just in time. He says he doesn’t want to leave, and she tells him, “You haven’t lost the villa. It’s all yours.”

Some time passes. They open the culinary school. And they dance the night away.

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The movie kicks off with big horses, big hats, and big fun! Cut to hotel employee Stella—well, so we think. She’s sneaking into a room for some mysterious reason. It looks like she’s wheeling in room service, but she’s shocked to discover someone is actually in the room. It’s Christian, and he’s confused because he didn’t order anything. Turns out, it’s not room service at all—Stella designed a hat that she’s trying to get in front of Christian’s mom, Rosalind, who is apparently a big deal.

Christian helps Stella sneak out when his mom unexpectedly returns, but she accidentally leaves the hat behind. Rosalind sees it, loves it, and decides she wants to wear it. Christian tells her that the woman who designed it had just dropped it off, then heads down to the lobby to tell Stella the good news—and invites her back up to meet his mom.

Rosalind is impressed and asks Stella to design a hat based on her outfit. Rosalind’s stylist is not a fan of Stella and is thrilled when Rosalind dislikes Stella’s first design. She even tells Stella to “bless her heart,” which Stella doesn’t realize is the sickest Southern burn. So it’s back to the drawing board—but this time, they’re doing a whole new look, dress and all.

Stella starts hanging out with Christian a lot. They strike a deal: he’ll help her navigate Kentucky high society so she can design the perfect hats, and she’ll use her farm experience to help train Christian’s nervous horse for the Louisville Derby. (Spoiler: all the horse really needed was a song.)

Then there’s this other dude, Davidson, who’s clearly into Stella—and Christian fricken hates this guy.

Meanwhile, Rosalind’s assistant, Hannah, is super jealous of how much Rosalind likes Stella. She starts acting out: trying to embarrass Stella at a party, telling Christian that Stella likes Davidson (so he starts giving her the cold shoulder), and even trying to convince Rosalind not to wear Stella’s hat. But Odette steps in and convinces Rosalind to wear it—and she wins the hat-off!

When Rosalind realizes Stella is missing, Hannah finally comes clean: she told Stella she wasn’t allowed to sit in the box. Christian rushes off to find Stella, and they make up.

Then it’s time for the big race… and they win! Christian and Stella finally share a kiss!

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The movie kicks off with—yep, you guessed it—a yule log. A woman named Dianne shows up and begins vacuuming the floor. There's a knock at the door, and it's another woman claiming her car broke down. Suddenly, her son invites himself in, and we see Dianne get pushed down in front of the camera. Then a masked man appears and comes after her. Just then, the video is paused, and we realize the police are watching the footage. Apparently, Dianne doesn’t make it—and she’s not the only one.

From what I gather, Dianne was cleaning the house for a group of renters who were about to arrive. And they do. All of them end up dead—except one: Zoe. But Zoe is not doing well. And Zoe knows the truth: it wasn’t a person that did this. Rather, it was a killer log that floats around and murders people.

Speaking of which, a police officer is watching more of the tape when he hears a noise from the evidence room. He goes to check it out—and it’s the yule log. He tries to fight back, but the yule log saws off his leg with a chainsaw and blows up the building with dynamite, destroying the tape.

Zoe tries to return to normal life, but she keeps seeing the log everywhere and ends up getting fired from her job. The police tell her the case is closed—they're convinced the masked man is the killer. Zoe insists, “No, it’s the log!” But no one believes her.

Her friend Jakester suggests they get away from it all and spend Christmas on an island. They get in the car—but Santa makes them crash into a tree. A tow truck driver shows up, and he’s a total hunk.

Zoe starts wandering around this small town, axe in hand, and notices things get oddly brighter when she enters Main Street. She keeps bumping into hunks, but she doesn’t have time for that. The first hunk is an influencer named Bo Regards, and he announces, “WE’RE GOING TO GET DINNER!” After the fourth hunk knocks her over, she yells for help. A hunky Christmas ornament shop owner comes to her rescue and brings her inside. She meets his kid and his Nana and learns that the guy—Bert—is a widower. She accidentally knocks over all the ornaments and tries to fix them, but then she gets a text from Bo about dinner plans. Turns out Bo has opened his own competing ornament shop. Unfortunate.

Meanwhile, the yule log is on its own adventure. It sneaks into the trunk of a family going camping and proceeds to brutally kill them all.

Bo agrees to let Zoe use his helicopter, but it leaves without her. As she walks back to town, Bert and his family pick her up and offer to let her stay with them. She opens up to Bert about what happened, and he’s like, “Don’t worry—I know just what you need.” He’s built a machine that helps people process trauma. And it works. Her life changes. She’s full of holiday cheer and no longer afraid of the yule log.

Zoe and Bert have a wonderful day together—blowing bubbles by the creek, sliding down a fire pole, etc. Everything seems great—until we see the yule log peeking around a corner.

But don’t worry—Santa shows up and captures it in a bag. He runs it through a wood chipper, then buries the pieces in a shallow grave and pours cement over it. Looks like the nightmare is finally over.

Except… one tiny wood strip escapes. It flies through the air and gives Nana a splinter.

They all go inside for dinner, and—don’t ask me why—Zoe opens the freezer and sees a mini version of Nana, who invites her inside. Zoe climbs in and shrinks down too. Her ex, Alex, is also in the freezer, working on his boxing skills. (I have no idea, man.)

The next day, Nana complains about her stomach—but I’m sure it’s nothing.

At Christmas dinner, chaos erupts. Nana starts vomiting all over the food and then starts choking. One of the Cards tries to give her the Heimlich when suddenly they’re stabbed by a giant tree branch. More branches burst from Nana until her head pops off—and the yule log crawls out from the head hole.

Nana Yule Log heads to the town square, where the Yule Log Festival is happening. She lights all the other yule logs on fire, and they begin attacking the townspeople.

She tracks Zoe and Bert back to his house, where they discover that the ashes of their loved ones are the only thing that can extinguish the fire.

They win! Zoe decides it’s best to leave town.

But in the end, she returns for the store’s grand re-opening—and kisses Bert.

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We meet a little girl named Jyn. Her family is in hiding. One day, the bad guy Orson shows up to tell Jyn's dad, Galen, that they need him to come back and finish the Death Star. Galen’s like, “I wouldn’t be any use—I’m just a sad sack ever since my wife died.” Suddenly, his wife comes running out of the field—so really bad timing, honestly. She has a gun and she’s like, “You’ll never take him!” Orson’s like, “I’m taking you all.” She shoots him. They shoot her. Orson tells his guys to go find the child, but Jyn is really good at hide-and-seek. She waits in the secret spot until a dude named Saw shows up. It’s clear they know each other.

Fast forward some time—Jyn is now an adult and in a holding cell. Meanwhile, a cargo pilot named Bodhi shows up and claims to Saw that he wants to join the Rebels.

Jyn is being transferred with other prisoners when Rebel forces suddenly break in and free them, led by Cassian Andor. Together, they fight stormtroopers and escape.

They take a reprogrammed Imperial droid named K-2SO and head somewhere else, where they encounter more stormtroopers who are gathering crystals to power the Death Star.

They're about to get captured, but a blind spiritual warrior named Chirrut Îmwe and his mercenary friend Baze Malbus help them out. This allows Jyn to make contact with Saw, who is holding Bodhi. She sees a message in which Galen reveals that he secretly built a vulnerability into the Death Star. The schematics are stored in an Imperial data vault.

Onboard the Death Star, Orson orders a test strike on the moon where the gang is. Jyn and her group take Bodhi and flee, but Saw stays behind and dies.

Orson gets an atta boy from his higher-up.

Bodhi leads the group to Galen’s Imperial research facility. Rebel bombers attack the site. Galen is wounded and dies in Jyn’s arms before she escapes with the group on a stolen Imperial cargo shuttle.

Orson is summoned by Darth Vader—he’s back, baby!—to explain the attack. Orson’s like, “Now that you’ve seen my work, maybe introduce me to the Emperor?” Vader force-chokes him and says, “Get back to work and don’t cause any more trouble.”

Jyn proposes a mission to steal the Death Star schematics, but the Alliance Council thinks there’s no chance of success. Frustrated by their inaction, Jyn’s group leads a small squad of volunteers—Bodhi dubs them “Rogue One.” Jyn, Cassian, and K-2SO infiltrate the Imperial base while the others create a diversion with a space battle.

The Alliance eventually joins the fight, sending their fleet. Jyn gets the schematics but is ambushed by Orson, who is shot and wounded by Cassian. Jyn transmits the schematics to the Rebel command ship just before the Death Star fires a beam that destroys the base—and them.

The Rebel fleet tries to escape, but many ships are intercepted by Darth Vader. He boards the command ship and wrecks everyone in an attempt to recover the plans, but a smaller ship escapes with them. Princess Leia declares that the schematics will provide hope for the Rebellion—some might even call it a new hope.

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5/3 Hats Off to Love
5/10 Love in the Clouds
A Dater's Handbook
Summer Villa

Watch on Philo! - Philo.tv/DTH

The movie kicks off exactly like the other ones. Love Club. Cheese. Fast forward 8 months, and Nila is looking at some new dresses because i guess that's her job. She starts getting all of this notifications from a dating app that she didn't sign up for. A women at the shop says it's probably a phishing scheme. But when her daughter gets home, she tells Nila that she signed her mom up for the app to get her off her back. So she calls the love club mom's. They go to this cafe and meet a dude named Olly and they ask Olly to like look after her while she goes on these dates. But Olly is also a 10 of 10, so there's that. Olly's ex comes in and is shooting her shot to get back together. After a bad date, she's talking with Nila and they hatch a plan to just get everyone of their backs - fake relationship! The love club is immediately suspicious, so they start poking around, trying to catch her in a lie. And they end up overhearing a conversation that confirm this relationship is a rouse. 
But she keeps fake dating him and then he does a photo shoot of her. She begins to realize that she's having feels for him but then sees him kiss his ex but turns out it didn't mean anything! He ends up showing up to her daughters birthday party and they make up and make out. 

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*Producer note: a listener has explained to me how PO boxes work*

A woman walks into a bar as Oliver narrates over the scene. We see that she ends up in the background of a selfie while she’s walking around. She sits at the bar, writes a letter, and puts a stamp on it. When she notices the cops looking around, she quickly leaves, causing the letter to fall to the floor and get kicked under the bar.

Fast forward five years: the gang is at brunch. Ramon brings them a letter he found under the bar — it turns out this brunch spot and the nightclub from five years ago are one and the same. They can't make anything out from the outside of the letter, so they open it. Unfortunately, the letter couldn't be less helpful — it's even signed "Me," almost as if it’s written in code.

We also find out that Shane and Rita are both pregnant! Yippie!

Oliver and Shane go to tell Oliver’s dad that they’re expecting. Oliver is also working with his dad to open a postal museum. While going through the attic, Oliver’s dad finds a box labeled "For Oliver Someday" and quickly tries to hide it.

The next day, they're back at the office when Charley reads the letter and immediately realizes that the author is talking about the now-famous artist Nate Hallaway. Shane looks him up and sees he’s playing a gig in Vegas. ROAD TRIP!

Oliver and Shane go to a doctor’s appointment, and everything is looking good with the baby. However, Oliver realizes he knows very little about his family history. He goes to talk to his dad, who then gives him the "For Oliver Someday" box.

Meanwhile, the gang makes it to the Vegas show. At first, Nate acts like he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. But after the show, he admits the truth: the letter is from a woman named Tracy Rio. She wrote his best songs. That night, she had suddenly disappeared without telling him why. Since then, she has been sending him songs and he sends money via a P.O. box every month.

The team stakes out the P.O. box until someone matching Tracy’s description shows up. They follow her and discover that she’s now a caregiver. She invites them in and shares her story: she’s been on the run ever since her dad robbed a bank when she was a child. Her whole family has been "wanted" ever since. When she turned 18, her mom gave her money and stamps, and they communicated through a postal box. After that fateful night, she assumed the box no longer worked and never wrote again. She asks the team to find her mom and tell her she’s okay.

While working on this, Oliver reads through the letters his dad kept and begins to question why his dad held onto them all these years.

As he’s processing all of this, Oliver tracks Tracy’s mom to a nearby church. He delivers Tracy’s letter and tells her he must report her to the police. However, he finds out she has another daughter who will turn 18 in six weeks, so he agrees to give her that time before reporting her.

Oliver and his dad have a heart-to-heart about fatherhood and reconcile.

Six weeks later, it’s time for the gala to raise money for the postal museum. Tracy — whose real name is Lilly — shows up, and her mom is there too. Lilly goes on stage to sing. Meanwhile, Oliver tells her mom that it’s time: the feds are waiting. She turns herself in, and Oliver reunites Lilly and Nate backstage.

The movie ends with the gang hanging out, drinking Yoo-hoo, and Rita finding out that the baby they’re adopting was just born — so they rush off together.

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You need to know something right off the bat: the Herdmans are the worst kids in the world. There’s Imogen, the eldest, then Ralph, Leroy, Claude, Ollie, and Gladys. They smoke. They curse. They bully. They’re just plain bad.

Enter Beth Bradley, our narrator. Early on, her locket gets stolen, and she prays to God to send the Herdmans far, far away.

Meanwhile, the church’s 75th annual Christmas pageant is coming up—it’s a big deal. Mrs. Armstrong, who’s directed it every year, breaks both her legs, so Beth’s mom, Grace, steps in. Despite all the skeptics, she boldly claims it’s going to be the best Christmas pageant ever.

Beth’s little brother Charlie has been getting bullied into giving Leroy Herdman his lunch cookies. Out of frustration, Charlie tells them he doesn’t even care—he gets all the snacks he wants at church.

Big mistake.

Leroy spreads the word to his siblings, and the next thing you know, the Herdmans show up at church. The pastor says they’ve got to attend Sunday school first—so they do.

But even more shocking than them staying is when Imogen declares she’s going to play Mary, and Ralph is going to be Joseph. The rest of the major roles? Also claimed by Herdmans. The other kids decide it’s probably best not to argue.

When the church community hears about this, they protest: You can’t let the Herdmans be in the pageant!

At the first rehearsal, Grace realizes something big—the Herdmans have never heard the story of Jesus. They’re stunned by it. They demand King Herod be included in the play… and that he be taken out.

Imogen ropes Beth into helping them research the story of Christmas at the library.

The final dress rehearsal is a mess. Imogen’s brothers hide the baby Jesus doll, the choir falls apart, and a fire alarm goes off. Everyone assumes Imogen pulled it—or that she was smoking in the bathroom. Turns out, something just burned in the oven.

Imogen overhears the townspeople badmouthing her family and decides they’re done. The Herdmans vanish.

The next day, Grace can’t get ahold of them. Beth goes to Imogen’s house and reminds her that Grace stuck up for them. Imogen gives no sign of what they’ll do. So that night, as Grace prepares to open the show, she tells the audience honestly—she has no idea what’s going to happen.

And then, just in time, the Herdmans show up.

They bring their own flair to the pageant: Imogen gently burps the baby doll, the Wise Men bring a ham, and Imogen even sheds a tear. The crowd is unexpectedly moved—they love it.

The film closes with a grown-up Beth now directing the Christmas pageant herself, carrying on the wild, wonderful legacy of the Herdmans.