Grief: Is Year Two Harder than Year One? 

For some people, it seems like the second year of grief is harder. For other people, it seems like the first year of grief is harder, and this is often a question that newly widowed folks really want the answer to, because let's be honest, those first few months and probably that first year, you are in full survival mode and you want to know, am I ever going to get out of feeling lost, of feeling overwhelmed, of feeling like I don't know who I am?

We talk about:

-Everyone processes grief on their own unique timeline

-Complicated grief or trauma impacts the time it takes to heal or return to a normal state of functioning

-Some people choose not to heal or process grief; they deflect/avoid or cling onto the pain refusing to let go

Quotes:

“We don't have to live in pain and suffering in order to remember and show that we love our loved one. But for some people, they really just dig into that pain.” 

“Everyone has unique problems, challenges, and traumas that they go through and processing grief, and so that's one reason why this makes it a very difficult question to answer.”

“If you're on the fence or if you feel like everyone says year two is harder and I'm never gonna be happy and I'm never gonna find a life that I enjoy and I'm always gonna be miserable. If you tell yourself those things over and over and over, you are creating that future for yourself. So if you can't work through some of those things, then find a community that will help you.”

Book mentioned:

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss by Dr. Mary Frances O'Connor

Podcast mentioned:

Four Reasons Why Grief is Hard (bravewidow.com)

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The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

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