Eileen Bellew joins Anita and Mel to talk about the sudden death of her husband, John, on January 23, 2005 also known as "Black Sunday," one of the deadliest days in FDNY history. Her husband, FDNY firefighter John Bellew, was one of six firefighters trapped in a Bronx apartment fire. The day became known as "Black Sunday" because three FDNY firefighters died in two separate fires that day.

In the years that followed, Eileen found herself navigating not only grief but also civil and criminal court proceedings, raising four children, and trying to make sense of a tragedy that became front page news of the New York Times. She later wrote the memoir After John Jumped, chronicling the experience and everything that came after.

Eileen speaks candidly about the debilitating anxiety that followed John's death and the feeling that if she could just stay vigilant enough, maybe she could prevent another disaster. As a parent, she struggled with the fear of being caught off guard again, always scanning the horizon for the next terrible thing.

She also shares an observation that many widowed parents will recognize immediately: when her children lost their father, they lost parts of their mother, too. Grief changed her capacity, her energy, and her ability to show up in the ways she once had, adding another layer of loss for the entire family.

For more info about Eileen, her book, and the future film based on John, visit: https://eileenbellew.com/

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Anita found Jess Anderson completely by accident through a comment on Threads, and what followed was one of those instant connections that feels like it was meant to happen.

Jess shares the story of loving her husband through cystic fibrosis, a double lung transplant, and the years of hope, fear, and resilience that came with chronic illness. After his death, life dealt another heartbreaking blow when her brother — also her best friend — died in a plane crash. Soon after, Jess found out she was pregnant.

As heavy as that sounds, this episode is also full of warmth, humor, love, and the unexpected ways joy keeps showing up alongside grief. Jess talks about motherhood after loss, the people who carried her through impossible moments, and the conscious choice she makes to keep choosing life.

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When you're a sober alcoholic, a divorcee, and a widow, you might know a thing or two about rebuilding your life. Jennifer Newberg joins Anita and Mel to chat about what all this looks like with honesty, humor, and zero interest in pretending healing is linear.

After the death of her husband, Jennifer eventually created widow wellness retreats through building spaces where widows can reconnect with themselves outside of survival mode. She talks about grief, recovery, community, and what happens when you stop trying to fit the “inspirational widow” mold and start figuring out what actually feels meaningful.

The conversation also takes a detour into the Salem witch trials, historical suspicion around widows, and the long history of society being uncomfortable with women who exist outside traditional roles. Turns out widows have been making people uneasy for centuries, something unfortunately still not uncommon in 2026.

If you're gonna be a widow, you might as well find others who get it - check out the retreats and offerings Jennifer has at:

http://www.itslifey.com

Find her on IG at @itslifeyco

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Christine Fader joins Anita and Mel from Canada to talk about the death of her husband, Michael, and the reality of living through not one but two cancer diagnoses. In 2018, Michael was diagnosed with the “good” kind of throat cancer. In 2020, he was diagnosed with a completely new and far more aggressive lung cancer. By November 2022, he was gone.

Michael’s terminal cancer was both aggressive and underfunded despite lung cancer being one of the most commonly diagnosed cancers there is. He held onto hope for new treatments as long as he could.

The episode also digs into the trauma that can exist underneath cancer care. Christine shares how Michael’s childhood trauma and later medical trauma shaped his experience as a patient, and why she is now advocating for trauma-informed cancer care and better education for doctors. With a background in speaking, teaching, and advocacy, she’s working to push conversations about cancer beyond survival rates and treatment plans to include the emotional and psychological realities patients and caregivers live through.

Find Christine at https://www.christinefader.com

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Dating is already complicated—add grief, trauma, and modern communication norms, and it becomes a whole new landscape. This week, Lauren Salaun helps Anita and Mel dig into what it actually looks like to date after loss: how to approach it as a widow, how trauma can show up in your body (yes, even your immune system), and how to figure out what you really want now.

They talk attraction vs. compatibility, must-haves vs. deal breakers, and what makes a relationship not just exciting—but sustainable. There’s also a candid look at the unspoken “rules” of dating today: who pays, who texts first, and how to end things in an era where everyone avoids direct communication.

For more on Lauren's offerings, such as the free guide to texting while dating, visit: http://laurensalaun.com

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Dorothy Kane is not a grandmother. She is a 36-year-old widow from Toronto who is just four months into life after loss. With a newborn at home and maternity leave underway, Dorothy shares what it’s like navigating fresh grief while caring for a brand-new life. She opens up about losing her husband to lupus, and the disorienting overlap of heartbreak, exhaustion, and responsibility—all while not yet knowing what returning to her role as a high school teacher will feel like. 

Anita and Mel learn more from Dorothy about Canadian vs US healthcare (specifically ambulances), what it's like to be a mom to several small children while your husband is in the hospital, and if it's possible to be a grief savant. This episode contains lots of laughter, so be forewarned! 

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Anita and Mel are catching up after spring break—grief, growth, and the weird ways time keeps moving whether you’re ready or not. Anita opens up about a heavy realization about her kids: the stretch of time after their dad’s death didn’t just pass—it quietly closed doors. Some of the kids missed windows where they would’ve been starting activities, playing on sports teams, and building routines… and now it feels like they’re arriving late to something nearly everyone else already knows how to do. 

As far as updates and headlines: what’s going on with people's reactions to actor, widow, and newly-ish pregnant Aubrey Plaza, the latest developments in the Kouri Richins trial, and yes—an unexpected dive into clowns. 

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Meet our friend Dennis. Dennis was widowed from his long-time partner Michelle, who died from ampullary adenocarcinoma - a rare, malignant tumor arising from the spot where the bile and pancreatic ducts empty into the small intestine. Dennis discusses with Anita and Mel how he and Michelle were legally set up before her death so he could make decisions in her best interest before AND after her death. Unbeknownst to Anita and Mel, Dennis has made a career change, which was prompted by a promise to Michelle. He has also repartnered, and shares about what it has been like for him and his wife. 

Connect with Dennis at: https://consigcoaching.com

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Leslie Harter Berg, known for her Vids for Wids, joins Widow We Do Now to talk about the loss of her husband, Ryan, who died from arteriovenous malformations, and what life has looked like in the years since. She shares the reality of early grief, what it meant to rebuild, and how her path eventually led to remarriage — something that can feel complicated, unexpected, and even conflicting in widowhood.

Leslie brings humor into the conversation without forcing it, offering a perspective that feels both grounded and honest. She also talks about creating content specifically for widows, writing her book You’re So Strong, and the experience of being told that phrase when everything feels anything but.

Get your copy of Leslie's book, You're So Strong: On Grief And Letting Go Of My Favorite Compliment on Amazon or anywhere books are sold.

Website: https://www.vidsforwids.com

IG: @vidsforwids

TikTok @vidsforwids

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Sara Gregerman became a widow when her platonic life partner, Joanna, died from brain cancer.

Sara is asexual. Joanna was first her best friend, then the person she built a life with—and the person she was planning to marry. Their partnership didn’t follow the usual scripts people imagine when they hear the word “widow,” but it was loving, deeply committed, and built out of years of choosing each other.

In this episode, Sara talks about how their relationship grew from friendship into a committed life partnership, what it meant to imagine a future and a marriage together, and what it’s like to grieve when your relationship doesn’t fit the categories people recognize. She also shares what it was like to move through Joanna’s illness and death when some family members—and the medical system—didn’t always see her as a partner. 

Sara talks with Anita and Mel about the many kinds of widows that exist, the ways some losses fall outside the stories people expect, and why it matters for people in unconventional partnerships to know they are not alone.

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Sponsored by:

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Join our Patreon for ad-free episodes and more!
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Need some Snarky Grief merch?
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