Calling Our Cool Friend

The internet's been down for a week, and Dru is thriving, but there's always gonna be haters. Lazer and Small Drew got extradited, and Ben's probs gonna write a book about the whole thing. As the boys wait to start Phase Two of The Plan, Patrick calls and...yeah, turns out he didn't want us to destroy the internet.

Dru and Husky Dave are working on the final stages of shutting down the internet, and Ben's doing B-plot stuff. Julia from Ontario demands a cool hacker nickname. Ben and Dru talk about how nobody's ever died in a plane crash. Ben has his final stand against Lazer, and then Dru shuts down the internet. 

Husky Dave came to Smegmar to help Dru destroy the internet. Gotta keep it quiet though--the mayor doesn't really get the Patrick stuff, so there's a concern that she might tattle. Meanwhile, Lazer's back on the salvia, and he's hunting Ben? So that's no good. Ben tells Dru about the film Dog Soldiers, and they talk about the car etiquette of horror movies. 

Ben's in the woods in Africa, but Lazer's hunting him now, so that's bad. In better news:  Husky Dave cracked the code, and Patrick Cotnoir wants us to destroy the internet.  So, yeah. We're gonna go do that.  

Turns out, Lazer *really* wasn't supposed to leave consulate in Cairo, and now Ben's waiting for the cops to finish searching Small Drew (doesn't go well).  In a major plot twist, Dru has become close personal friends with the mayor of Dayton, Texas. The boys learn about Smegmar's origins, and yeah, it's legit just a Christine .  Dru found some mysterious coordinates, and it looks like they're close to Ben, so he's gonna head over there. Basically, it's just the transition into the third act: call the cops, I don't give a shit.
 

Patrick leaves a voicemail, but Dru's bad at using his phone. The mayor of Dayton, Texas is trying to force Dru to sell his grain elevator, Smegmar. Lazer and Small Drew kept pushing the envelope until they got detained.  Patrick tweets out his most complicated code yet. 

Lazer and Small Drew are hanging out with Ben, but they keep trying to push the envelope like those edgy comedians that get mad when you call them racist. Dru's trying to figure out what Patrick wants him to do--something about refinancing a car? They reach out to Big Charles who used to live in Syria and then lived in Japan for a little while before moving back to LA. 

So Dru bought this grain elevator in Dayton, Texas--turns out she's a sentient being named Smegmar, and she's not a fan of Bojack Horseman. Ben landed in Egypt for his research trip, and he just joined Twitter, so that's exciting! Turns out that their old friend Lazer works for the consulate in Cairo, and Ben and Dru reflect on how much salvia that guy used to smoke. It was a lot. Like damn. Anyway, it seems like Patrick needs help refinancing his car, and the guys set him up with Big Charles--he knows cars, right? 

Ben has some complaints about the Podcast and Streaming Producers Guild, but it's the first time Dru's heard about Ben's podcast. Dru's pretty sure that Patrick wanted him to buy a grain elevator, so he did. Turns out it might be a full on Christine situation! 

Dru just got back from NYC, and you'll  never guess, but he ran into Patrick Cotnoir, his old friend he went to Hampshire College with! Ben and Dru think about how fucking rad that dude was. And also Dru is pretty sure Patrick is sending secret messages to him over Twitter. #DogWrangleMcFlurryMichael