Calm Your Caveman

What if trying to avoid anxiety is what makes it stronger? In this episode, we explore distress tolerance and why learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions can actually reduce their intensity. You’ll discover how resisting feelings like anger, sadness, and fear amplifies them—and how viewing them as temporary, necessary signals can shift your experience. We also share personal stories, the adaptive purpose of emotions, and how reflecting on mortality and near-death experiences can ease fear of death. Plus, you’ll get practical tools and grounded insights to help you embrace discomfort, and build a calmer, more meaningful relationship with life.


[00:00:00] - Introduction to Distress Tolerance
[00:01:56] - Clarifying Distress Tolerance
[00:04:11] - Understanding Negative Emotions
[00:05:46] - The Function of Emotions
[00:14:02] - Personal Story: Anger and Self-Care
[00:16:57] - Accepting Mortality
[00:18:59] - Near-Death Experiences and Their Impact
[00:26:43] - Conclusion and Summary
[00:31:27] - Kindness Narrative: A Nurse's Compassion


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www.calmyourcaveman.com

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Can moving your body be one of the most effective ways to manage anxiety? In this episode, we explore decades of research on exercise and why it works: reducing muscle tension, shifting brain chemistry, and giving your mind a break from anxious loops. You’ll learn six key reasons exercise supports mental health, plus hear a personal journey of overcoming anxiety and a busy schedule to build a consistent routine.
We also share simple ways to integrate movement into daily life (like a grounding morning walk) so you can start your day feeling calmer, clearer, and more in control.


[00:00:00] - Introduction to Anxiety and Exercise
[00:01:06] - Personal Struggles with Exercise
[00:03:35] - The Benefits of Exercise for Anxiety
[00:04:33] - Scientific Research on Exercise and Anxiety
[00:05:09] - Six Reasons Exercise Reduces Anxiety
[00:18:45] - Implementing Exercise into Daily Routine
[00:20:20] - Conclusion and Final Thoughts
[00:21:30] - Kindness Narrative


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www.calmyourcaveman.com

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Feeling stuck in stress can sometimes come down to how you interpret what you’re going through. In this episode, we explore a powerful shift: seeing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats to avoid. Through a personal story of navigating prolonged illness, I share how meaning can be found even in difficult experiences—and how that perspective can change your emotional response. We break down the concept of “macro meaning” and how it helps retrain your brain to meet stress with resilience, purpose, and a greater sense of direction.


[00:00:00] - Introduction and Recap
[00:01:27] - Personal Story: Coping with Long COVID
[00:04:00] - Discovering a New Strategy
[00:10:45] - The Power of Meaning in Life
[00:19:25] - Four Ways Meaning Helps with Anxiety
[00:33:02] - Conclusion
[00:34:18] - Kindness Narrative: Building a House


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Sometimes, the most effective tools for anxiety are also the simplest. In this episode, we explore the impact of gratitude and how a consistent practice can support both short- and long-term well-being.

Research shows it can benefit both mind and body by:
• Improving sleep
• Reducing inflammation
• Strengthening emotional resilience

There’s more to it than just “thinking positive,” though. We’ll cover how to approach gratitude in a way that actually works—and how to build a simple, sustainable practice, including a weekly “Kindness Narrative” to help it stick. 

[00:00:00] - Introduction and Overview
[00:00:34] - Personal Journey with Long COVID
[00:04:19] - Discovering the Power of Gratitude
[00:07:19] - Gratitude Journal Entries
[00:10:58] - Scientific Benefits of Gratitude
[00:19:29] - Impact on Performance Anxiety
[00:23:35] - How to Start Your Own Gratitude Practice
[00:25:37] - Kindness Narrative and Conclusion


For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to:
https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/loosen-anxietys-grip-with-gratitude-science

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Small shifts in how you talk to yourself can have a big impact on anxiety. In this episode, we explore self-talk as a practical tool you can use in real time—during stressful moments, throughout the day, and even at night.

At the center is a simple technique:
 • Thinking in the third person
 • Speaking to yourself with distance
 • Writing to create clarity

But it’s not just about calming down. We also explore self-transcendence and awe, and how zooming out can change your emotional response. A simple framework, with real-world ways to make it part of your daily life.

[00:00:00] - Introduction to Calming Techniques
[00:00:25] - Applying Third-Party Self-Talk
[00:00:56] - Emergency Interventions
[00:01:37] - Nighttime Anxiety Management
[00:05:08] - Writing as a Tool for Clarity
[00:07:03] - Shifting Perspectives with Awe
[00:11:19] - Daily Practice and Final Thoughts

For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to:
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Getting caught up in your emotions can make everything feel heavier than it is. In this episode, we explore how to step back and observe your feelings instead of being overwhelmed by them. You will learn about speaking to yourself in the third person, and creating distance from intense emotions. This is more than a mindset—it’s a skill you can practice. We walk through simple exercises to help you climb out of emotional overwhelm and respond with more control, clarity, and balance.

00:35 Recap of Last Episode: Approaching Anxiety
01:17 Introduction to Defusing from Emotions
01:48 Understanding Defusion: Right and Wrong Ways
02:05 Defusing Techniques: Observing Emotions
05:51 Using Third Person Pronouns for Emotional Distance
07:55 Research Insights: Third Person Self-Talk
16:10 Practical Exercises for Defusion
18:04 Conclusion and Final Thoughts


For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to:
https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/climb-out-of-the-mud-puddle-of-your-emotions

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When anxiety shows up, the instinct is usually to avoid it—but that instinct can quietly make it worse. This episode breaks down why facing discomfort is often the more effective path, especially in a world that’s made us less tolerant of it.

Instead of quick fixes, we look at a more durable approach:
• Grounding yourself in long-term purpose
• Putting precise language to what you feel
• Slowly building familiarity with what triggers you

The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety. It’s to change your relationship with it, so it carries less weight and less control over time.


[00:00:00] - Introduction and Overview
[00:00:53] - The Paradox of Comfort and Anxiety
[00:02:05] - The Importance of Approaching Anxiety
[00:05:10] - Steps to Approach Anxiety: Finding Your Why
[00:12:28] - Steps to Approach Anxiety: Describing Your Emotions
[00:18:36] - Steps to Approach Anxiety: Exposure and Familiarity
[00:23:58] - Conclusion and Summary


For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to:
https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/don%E2%80%99t-avoid%2C-but-approach-your-anxiety-instead

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Goals are supposed to give direction—but the wrong kind can quietly increase anxiety. In this episode, we explore how to set goals that create clarity instead of pressure, drawing on flow theory to understand what actually leads to a sense of ease and focus. The key isn’t doing more. It’s choosing goals that align with your resources and support a state of balance. Too hard creates overwhelm, too easy leads to restlessness. We also look at the difference between inherited expectations and consciously chosen goals, along with practical ways to adjust your approach so your goals feel motivating, sustainable, and internally aligned.


[00:00:00] - Introduction and New Year Greetings
[00:00:36] - Understanding Anxiety and Goals
[00:01:23] - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's Flow Theory
[00:02:51] - The Importance of Autonomy in Goal Setting
[00:05:25] - Genetic Programming and Autonomy
[00:09:31] - Cultural Influence on Goals
[00:14:12] - Creating Goals that Reduce Anxiety
[00:18:43] - Personal Experiences and Practical Tips
[00:25:16] - Conclusion and Final Thoughts


For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to:
https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/the-anxiety-free-goal-guide

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The way you think about the future can shape how you experience it. In this New Year’s episode, we explore how optimism and a challenge mindset influence your response to stress—both mentally and physically. Instead of viewing uncertainty as a threat, small shifts in how you interpret what’s ahead can improve problem-solving, collaboration, and resilience. We break down the difference between threat and challenge mindsets, along with practical ways to start the year with a perspective that supports you—especially when things don’t go as planned.

00:00 Introduction and New Year's Greetings
00:42 Predicting the Future and Its Impact
01:43 The Role of Emotions in Future Predictions
05:17 Challenge vs. Threat Mindsets
06:38 Three Insights on How the Challenge Mindset Helps Us Find Solutions to Problems
13:14 Cultivating a Challenge Mindset
18:13 Conclusion and New Year's Challenge


For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to:
https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/the-future-will-be-shaped-by-optimists

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This Christmas episode explores a feeling we often overlook—but deeply need: awe. Drawing on research from Professor Dacher Keltner, we look at how moments of awe can reduce anxiety and depression while expanding your sense of connection and perspective.
From nature and music to collective experiences and everyday beauty, there are more ways to access awe than you might expect.
We also share a simple “daily awe hygiene” practice—small, intentional moments that can shift how you feel, not just during the holidays, but throughout the year.

Timestamps
00:30 The Power of Awe: Benefits and Impact
02:00 Understanding Awe: Definitions and Differences
03:25 The Positive Effects of Awe on Mind and Body
05:06 How to Seek Awe in Daily Life
06:55 Personal Awe Practices: My Daily Routine
10:05 The Unique Nature of Awe: Beyond Pleasure
11:00 Final Thoughts and Christmas Wishes

For full show notes, including resources mentioned, go to:
https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/beyond-fear-celebrating-the-healing-power-of-awe

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