the gang is going underground one last time to finish a promise made to an old friend.

the first time zach ever got drunk was recorded and released to the public during the 3 ninjas: high noon at mega mountain episode back in the day. but even before that historic collapse, the boys once tried — and failed — to record a commentary for the most hated entry in the halloween franchise.

the finished edit lived on an old laptop whose hard drive died before it could ever be exported.

so revisiting it as the second feature for the first-ever drunken commentary was a no-brainer. ``and then somehow that version got deleted too — too incoherent, too cursed to survive.

basically, this movie is haunted. even this version had to be rebuilt from a backup recording.

listen to the podcast that god doesn’t want you to hear!

Michael Myers returned in 2002, and this was the first time the gang saw a halloween movie in theaters. they’ve got the inside scoop on just how much of a letdown that night really was. they still wake up screaming.

this movie is about how michael myers was beaten for our sins, crucified by the romans, and resurrected — and somehow Mel Gibson still forgot to include a single line about the actual teachings. the passion of the shape.

🎃 + CG + dives into Halloween: Resurrection—early-2000s reality-tv, slasher, horror movie that no one wanted and see once and for all what ends up happening when you never kill your franchise mascot.

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Halloween: Resurrection is a 2002 American slasher film directed by Rick Rosenthal from a screenplay written by Larry Brand and Sean Hood. It is the sequel to Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later (1998) and the eighth installment of the Halloween franchise. It stars Busta Rhymes, Bianca Kajlich, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Ryan Merriman, Sean Patrick Thomas, Tyra Banks, and Jamie Lee Curtis, with Brad Loree as Michael Myers. This was the final installment of the H20 timeline of the Halloween franchise, which had just been rebooted with the previous film in 1998, before it was rebooted again in 2007 with a remake and again in 2018. The film follows Myers continuing his murderous rampage in his hometown of Haddonfield when his childhood house is used for a live internet horror show.

Halloween: Resurrection was released on July 12, 2002, and was critically panned, with critics considering it an unnecessary sequel to Halloween H20 and deeming it to be one of the worst films in the Halloween franchise. Although the film is technically a box office success, grossing $37.6 million worldwide against a $15 million budget, it was considered an underperformance at the box office, in contrast to its predecessor earning $75 million. The next film in the franchise was a 2007 remake of the 1978 film directed by Rob Zombie. - Wiki

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Friday the 13th came out and shocked an audience hungry for more masked, knife-wielding murderers tied to spooky-sounding american holidays — but everything we now know about the beloved 9-iq mangled man-child of the franchise really starts here, with part 2.

𐕣CG𐕣 is celebrating the 13th even though the country is burning and we’re gonna at least pretend we don’t care and feel fine. why? because r.e.m said we’re supposed to.

this is the one where Jason Voorhees wears the pillowcase. the hockey mask era doesn’t begin until part 3 — Shelly hadn’t introduced him to the sport yet — so he had to start somewhere.

set five years after the events of the original, Jason tracks down the sole survivor of his mother’s murder spree: Alice. and let’s be honest — she never had a chance. she was marked for sequel death the moment she survived the first film. it became the blueprint.

a lot of what we now consider standard slasher sequel formula — the stalking, the body count escalation, the expanded myth — starts right here in Friday the 13th part 2.

does it still hold up as one of the most important 80s slasher sequels ever made?

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Friday the 13th Part 2 is a 1981 American slasher film produced and directed by Steve Miner in his directorial debut, and written by Ron Kurz. Taking place five years after the first film, Part 2 follows a similar premise, with an unknown stalker killing a group of camp counselors at a training camp near Crystal Lake. The film marks the debut of Jason Voorhees as the series’ main antagonist.

Originally, Friday the 13th Part 2 was intended to be an anthology film based on the Friday the 13th superstition. However, after the popularity of the original film’s surprise ending, the filmmakers opted to continue the story and mythology surrounding Camp Crystal Lake, a trend that would be repeated in every film in the franchise. - Wiki

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the 𐕣 CG 𐕣 is back and they’ve brought reinforcements. this time enlisting gang affiliate chris to help unpack memories from a past life in Never Say Die! — the greatest metalcore outfit to come out of the midwest back in 2009.

on top of that, the boys are revisiting the movie that basically became the origin story for the band’s shared taste in comically goofy kidnappers and grown men repeatedly getting their asses kicked by a few little kids — all because their grandpa is a ninja who trains them when they come to visit his house.

3 ninjas is possibly the citizen ca(m)e of 90s kids action movies, basically, it’s the teenage mutant ninja turtles meets home alone, and it’s peak cinema.

join in and watch us quietly ponder weather or not these kids are the reason Victor Wong’s eyes are looking swollen like rocky balboa in this movie. is anyone watching out for this elderly man’s safety?

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3 Ninjas is a 1992 American martial arts comedy film directed by Jon Turteltaub and starring Victor Wong, Michael Treanor, Max Elliott Slade and Chad Power. It was the only 3 Ninjas film released by Touchstone Pictures, while the others were released by TriStar Pictures. The film is about three young brothers who learn martial arts from their Japanese grandfather. The film was released on August 7, 1992, and was preceded by the Bonkers D. Bobcat short Petal to the Metal (the pilot short of Raw Toonage) in theaters.

It received generally negative reviews from critics. It was a box office success grossing $29 million against a $2.5 million production budget. It spawned three less-successful sequels 3 Ninjas Kick Back, 3 Ninjas Knuckle Up, and 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. - Wiki

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the gang is back with a deep dive into the cursed world of cabbage patch kid horror.

Chucky became the primary catalyst for indoctrinating an entire generation of children into killer doll movies throughout the 80s and 90s. can you name a single person who wasn’t pulled away from the lord and at least a few steps closer to satan by watching these obviously-not-for-adults horror films?

at the center of it all is Charles Lee Ray — the original problem. the blueprint. a true Charles Manson.

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Child’s Play is a 1988 American supernatural slasher film directed by Tom Holland, from a screenplay he co-wrote with Don Mancini and John Lafia based on a story by Mancini. The film stars Catherine Hicks and Chris Sarandon with Brad Dourif as the voice of Chucky. Its plot follows a widowed mother who gives a new doll to her son, unaware that it is possessed by the soul of a serial killer.

Child’s Play was released in the United States on November 9, 1988, by MGM/UA Communications Co. through its United Artists label. It received generally positive reviews from critics and grossed more than $44 million against a production budget of $9 million. Along with the film gaining a cult following,the box office success also spawned a media franchise that includes a series of six sequels, a television series, merchandise, novels, comic books, a video game, and a reboot.

The original Child’s Play film was distributed by United Artists, although the rights to the series were sold to Universal Pictures in 1990. MGM (via United Artists) retained the rights to the original film and Orion Pictures (through United Artists Releasing) also distributed the reboot in 2019. A sequel, Child’s Play 2, was released in 1990. - Wiki

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the gang is back with an all-new xCGxTRL — a cursed block of music videos designed to ease you into a false sense of normalcy that’s been missing for far too long.

we’re spinning classics from the vault: Taking Back Sunday, Weezer, Adam Bryans, K‑Ci & JoJo, and much more pure TRL-era chaos.

Carson Daly still hasn’t returned our repeated requests to appear live on the show for a shoot interview. this is obviously because he’s a coward and knows we would destroy his entire worldview — and then immediately do all his other entertainment jobs better than him as well.

and while we’re asking questions: what the hell is Kurt Loder’s problem with allegedly being on some kind of government watch list for gang affiliation? where did all the rebels go? we need to mock these people relentlessly for failing to rep came gang.

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MTVX was an American hard rock music video channel operated by Viacom’s MTV Networks division. A sister channel of MTV, MTVX was available exclusively on digital cable providers, being the first network to be made available as part of the “MTV Networks Digital Suite”.

MTVX aired no advertising outside of MTV2 promos, airing videos on a daily loop programmed to air in three eight-hour blocks per day. The channel aired contemporary videos and older videos that were no longer shown on MTV. Likewise, MTVX was not limited to just one genre of rock music videos. The channel aired a variety of genres, including punk, metal, and grunge.

Also, MTVX showcased otherwise unknown or unheard music to the masses, such as Static-X, Disturbed, Finger Eleven, Black Label Society, SOiL, Soulfly, Sepultura, Tool, Pantera, Kittie, Dope, Coal Chamber, Primus, Mushroomhead and others. - Wiki

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as far as the 𐕣 CG 𐕣 is concerned, there isn’t a more underrated and underappreciated sub-genre of film than the classic doll with a knife movie.or is there? Maybe it’s rated exactly where it belongs and there just isn’t that much great movies in it. have you seen those trash Annabelle flicks?

that’s what the gang started to realize as they kicked off the first chapter of their dolls with knives movie marathon with Dolly Dearest — a movie that absolutely could’ve been the setup for Bride of Chucky… but isn’t.(it really could have been tho.)

this one lived for years as a sci-fi channel staple, but before that it was just a cursed vhs cover hiding in the 2-for-1 section at family video — because they didn’t organize by genre, which is ultimately why they deserved what happened to them.

starring Denise Crosby (Pet Sematary) as a stressed-out mom and Rip Torn as an archaeologist digging around cursed caves next to a run-down doll factory that Denise’s husband just inherited or something.

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Dolly Dearest is a 1991 American supernatural horror film starring Denise Crosby, Rip Torn, Sam Bottoms, Chris Demetral, Candace Hutson and Lupe Ontiveros. The film was initially supposed to be direct-to-video, but it did get a limited theatrical release in the Midwestern United States.

After inheriting an abandoned doll factory in Mexico, Elliot Wade unknowingly moves his family near an ancient Mayan tomb that once imprisoned Sanzia, a demonic child spirit. When an archaeologist accidentally releases Sanzia, the evil entity possesses a porcelain doll—Dolly Dearest—which is taken home by Elliot’s daughter, Jessica. Strange and violent behavior soon emerges as Dolly manipulates Jessica, targeting her mother, Marilyn. - Wiki

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the boiis are back in town and they’re dragging us headfirst into the myspace era with a full retrospective on one of the most psychedelic, chaotic, and criminally underrated bands to ever touch metalcore.

HEAVY HEAVY LOW LOW!!

mac and zach dig up all the old memories of discovering the low low while ranking the entire discography — eps, lps, breakdowns, and brain damage included. by the time the gang got hooked, the band had already dropped 3–4 eps and their debut lp Everything’s Watched, Everyone’s Watching… but was the best still yet to come?

spoiler alert: fuck yes.

O V E R W O R K E D !

U N D E R P A I D ! !

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Heavy Heavy Low Low is an American metalcore/mathcore band formed in early 2004 in San Jose, California. They began playing shows throughout the West Coast and developed a significant following, becoming known in the early 2000s screamo scene for their energetic stage presence.

They released their third full-length album Turtle Nipple & The Toxic Shock on August 19, 2008. The album was recorded and produced by Sam Pura in Oakland, California. Choosing to record with at the time lesser-known Pura allowed the band to stretch out allotted label money and spend 2 months recording the album. The album was a significant shift from their past work and took on a more psychedelic and experimental sound.

Their final EP, Hospital Bomber, has been compared to their last album regarding the coarser vocals of Robert Smith and a decidedly different musical style. The instruments for Hospital Bomber were all recorded live in-studio, instead of being recorded track-by-track. This recording technique gave the album a rawer sound than their previous albums.

The band went on an indefinite hiatus in 2009 citing busy personal lives.

In July 2019, they announced they were reuniting to play a handful of shows in 2020 with the original lineup along the west coast. The tour was postponed due to the COVID-19 pandemic. They indicated that they still plan to play shows when possible. - Wiki

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x another certified classic from the gang called came x

the boys continue their long-awaited dive into the house series — thanks to arrow video’s big mistake of accidentally making the now–out-of-print blu-ray box set region-free. word on the streets is that all the sets were destroyed after someone noticed… but the boys are just too good at running the jewels. they snagged one and are sharing the wealth. no idea if that’s true, but it sounds cool.

this time around, we’ve got soyed-out larry drake and his buddy digging through old family photos of his great-great-grandfather, when they decide it’d be funny to hit the cemetery, dig him up, and steal his crystal skull to sell for drug money.

but when the corpse starts walking around, they figure they might as well book him on real time with bill maher to debate the afterlife or something. pretty sure that’s the plot — it’s been a while.

don’t forget the wild creature effects and practical fx that made the original house (1986) a cult favorite.

the gang is becoming more powerful by the day — soon they’ll merge into a power rangers megazord and mate with god herself to give birth to the new age.

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House II: The Second Story is a 1987 American comedy horror film written and directed by Ethan Wiley from an original story by Fred Dekker. It serves as the second installment in the House film series, and is a standalone sequel to the first movie. While the plots and characters are unrelated, House II involves a storyline centered around a new mansion with a supernatural connection. The tone is highlighted with a greater focus on comedy, with a tone even lighter than the original.

House II: The Second Story was released on August 28, 1987, grossing $10 million worldwide against a $3 million budget and received negative reviews from critics.

In the film, Jesse McLaughlin and Kate, a duo of yuppies, settle in an old family mansion, and learn of the existence of a crystal skull owned by Jesse’s ancestor Gramps. They decide to unbury Gramps, in order to see if the skull was among his grave goods. Instead, they accidentally revive Gramps in the form of a zombie. The mansion contains time portals into other historical eras, and the characters time travel to the Jurassic, to the Aztec Empire, and to the American Old West. They bring back animals and people from the past, but eventually decide to permanently settle in the Old West. - Wiki

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there’s a handful of movies with great posters, but can you name another that sold you harder on exactly what you were getting than the vhs cover for troll?

back before dreamworks came along and rebranded the franchise into an animated sing-along powered by kids bop albums, troll (1986) was a classic horror-fantasy cult film — one that blended fairy-tale worldbuilding with pure 80s creature-feature chaos. some even call its sequel the godfather part II of horror movies.

harry potter and the rest of the potter family have just moved into a new apartment, but something’s off — tenants keep vanishing, and the landlord might not be who he says he is. years before j.k. rowling would borrow the name for her wizard franchise, troll gave us the original magical potter story — the one rowling don’t want you to remember.

directed by john carl buechler, a legend in practical effects and creature design, this movie showcases some of his most iconic 80s monster work — slimy, handmade, and weirdly beautiful.

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Troll is a 1986 American dark fantasy comedy film directed by John Carl Buechler and produced by Charles Band of Empire Pictures, starring Noah Hathaway, Michael Moriarty, Shelley Hack, Jenny Beck, and Sonny Bono. It is the first installment of the Troll film series. - Wiki

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remember that one movie with the flying trench-coat guy blasting down with the sickness in the trailer?

the year was 2001. the internet was slow, the jeans were baggy, and the creeper was hungry. this was one of those movies that came out of nowhere and somehow hit harder than it had any right to.

the trailer promised sick disturbed riffs and jump scares, but what we got instead was a whole other kind of horror! no one could’ve known what was really behind the lens of victor salva’s cult horror hit — a secret that would forever twist how the film was remembered.

join 𐕣 CG 𐕣 and hear the full story about victor salva, the man who might’ve been hiding way too much inside the movie itself.

have you heard about the dark secret plaguing victor salva’s 2001 creature feature that no one without dial-up internet access could’ve even imagined back then??

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Jeepers Creepers is a 2001 horror film written and directed by Victor Salva. It stars Gina Philips and Justin Long as siblings returning home for spring break who encounter a violent truck driver portrayed by Jonathan Breck. The film takes its name from the 1938 song, featured in the film under a version by Paul Whiteman. Patricia Belcher and Eileen Brennan also appear in supporting roles, with Salva making a cameo appearance.

The film was a co-production between the United States and Germany, with United Artists co-financing the American Zoetrope title. It filmed in various towns in Florida starting in August 2000 after Salva convinced the studios to cast Phillips and Long with the help of executive producer Francis Ford Coppola, who had previously financed his directorial debut Clownhouse (1989). Due to unforeseen budget cuts, Salva rewrote the third act during production.

The film was theatrically released by United Artists and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer on August 31, 2001. It was a commercial success, grossing $59 million on a $10 million budget, despite mixed reviews from critics praising the first half over the second. It spawned a media franchise that includes two sequels and a reboot. - Wiki

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