Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

Buckle up, friends. You're in for a treat today. My guest is Jamie Winship, who has spent decades bringing peaceful solutions to some of the world's highest conflict areas. Jamie is the co-founder of Identity Exchange and Identity Method, a training and consulting company, committed to significantly enhancing the resiliency level of people by teaching them the transformative power of living fearlessly in their true identity.

After a distinguished career in law enforcement in the metro Washington, D.C. area, Jamie had a unique opportunity to bring his identity-centric approach of transformation to the field of education.

• Jamie was born in Washington, D.C. and dreamed of being a police officer.
• He went to college and then worked in a police department, which he loved.
• Jamie worked overseas and came back to the U.S. in 2016. He wanted to help U.S. cities deal with gangs.

• One of the great incentives of being in the Kingdom of knowing Christ is that you have the mind of Christ and you're filled with the spirit of the living God.
• That doesn't make you morally better. It means you think at a different level.
• Evil doesn't require imagination. Evil just imitates.

• Jamie often asks people what the main negative emotion they're dealing with is.
• Fear is the most common response he hears.
• Ask yourself: What are you most afraid of?

• There's no such thing as a Christian parent.
• Your gift to the world is who you are.
• Two gifts parents can give children is to help them hear from God and know who they are.

• Jamie tells a memorable story about an angel standing guard over him and his coworkers during a tense time.

The truth sets people free. It doesn't accuse them.

One of the great incentives of being in the Kingdom of knowing Christ is that you have the mind of Christ and you're filled with the spirit of the living God.

Evil doesn't require imagination. Evil just imitates.

Most people who are praying are praying from a false identity.

We're taught to introduce ourselves in ways that cause division.

Once you get your identity from God and God alone, you're unstoppable.

https://www.identityexchange.com/jamiewinship

My guest this week is the incredible Terri Broussard Williams, an executive, author, keynote speaker, lobbyist, philanthropist, and social impact strategist. She's the best-selling author of "Find Your Fire: Stories and Strategies to Inspire the Changemaker in You." She is also an award-winning professional speaker on social impact strategy, diversity and inclusion, women's leadership, and public policy.

• By day, she is a lobbyist and has done that for the past 20 years.
• Terri started in journalism and news media.
• In the past 5 years, she has been working on her passion about helping people find their fire and start movements for social good.

• Terri started working in TV news as a teenager and felt empowered in the job.
• She worked at three TV station before becoming a press secretary and lobbyist.

• I know the work I do is not for me. It's for the people that I'll never meet and never know.
• She learned hard work and helping others from her grandparents.

• Terri believes she is doing what she was called to do.
• She sees herself as a storyteller, an activator and a doer.
• She doesn't know what's ahead, but she knows she's ready to serve others.

• Terri was working too much and being everything to everyone but nothing to herself.
• She couldn't relax and worried her brother or someone else she loved would be in a car crash.

• Terri says she has a lot of angels in heaven who help guide her.
• She feels the need to slow down.

• Terri thinks she is having a rebirth and needs to reset her compass.
• She needs reset moments along the way so she doesn't burn out.

• Last thing that made her laugh? Being at a Taylor Swift concert
• Last thing that made her cry? Sharing a heartbreaking decision with someone.

I know the work I do is not for me. It's for the people that I'll never meet and never know.

I'm a storyteller and an activator and a doer.

I don't know what's ahead, but I know that I'm ready. And I'm ready to serve.

I need reset moments along the way so I don't get burned out or frazzled.

https://terribwilliams.com/movementmakercollective/

https://terribwilliams.com/find-your-fire/see-the-video-of-my-tedx-talk/

My guest this week is Mike Gibson. He played in the NFL for six years for the Philadelphia Eagles, Seattle Seahawks and the Arizona Cardinals. His third year, he suffered an injury and became addicted to prescription painkillers.

Mike eventually retired from the NFL and became a sheriff's deputy while still abusing prescription drugs. He was asked to resign after a year due to his unhealthy habits and became addicted to stronger substances. Mike finally made a breakthrough and has now been sober for more than five years.

4:50 – Mike 101

• Mike is now a community outreach coordinator for the Mental Health Center of San Diego.
• He watched his older brother play sports growing up, and that made an impression on him.
• Football was a way to escape his mental health struggles.

9:39 – Mental health struggles

• Mike was always the short, stocky kid and was big for his age. He got made fun of a lot.
• Men don't often talk about body dysmorphia.

13:51 – From the NFL to community coordinator

• Mike struggled being in the NFL and felt like he wasn't being paid enough, so he decided to retire.
• He lost his sense of purpose and lost touch with his friends in the NFL.

21:13 – Drugs a symptom

• Most people who get help in the community center have mental health problems. Alcohol and drugs are just a symptom.
• Mike was known as a garbage can addict. He would take anything.

29:15 – Burning bridges

• Mike burned so many bridges with his family that they had to stop helping him.
• He didn't want to go to a faith-based rehab, because he felt like God wasn't helping him. But the decision to go changed his life.

38:34 – Still married

• Mike and his wife have been married for 15 years and together for 21 years. She is in recovery as well.
• They planned to divorce but ended up staying together after going to treatment.

49:14 – Get to know you

• Last time Mike laughed? When I told him I was a Brown's fan :)
• Last time he cried? When two friends passed away.

FEATURED QUOTES

Sports were a way for me to get out of myself.

The beautiful thing about sports is nobody cares about your background. Nobody cares about financially where you live. If you're good and you can ball, you can ball.

Men don't often talk about body dysmorphia. Men struggle with it, too.

Alcohol and drugs are just a symptom. Many people are struggling with mental health.

I was known as a garbage can addict. It doesn't matter what you got. I want it and I want all of it.

https://mhcsandiego.com/

ABOUT MIKE GIBSON: Mike a scholarship to Cal-Berkeley for football and played for 2 years before he got drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles in 2008. He played a total of 6 years in the NFL (Eagles, Seattle Seahawks, Arizona Cardinals). (NFL GUARD)

In his 3rd year he suffered an injury and shortly after got addicted to prescription painkillers. He started at 5 mg of Vicodin and by the time he finished his career was taking a minimum of 300 mg of OxyContin daily.

After he retired he became a sheriff's deputy, completing his credentials as class president, abusing OxyContin and adderall the entire duration. He was a deputy for under a year before getting asked to resign for his unhealthy habits. This setback turned him to becoming addicted to stronger substances such as heroin and meth. After going in and out of rehab 6 times, in his last session Mike made a breakthrough and has been sober for 5 years. He has worked in treatment centers as an addiction counselor for the entire 5 years he has been sober.

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My guest this week is Heather MacFayden, the host of the popular podcast, "Don't Mom Alone," with more than 18 million downloads from across the globe. She finds great joy in connecting moms to mentors and experts through her podcast and speaking across the country. Her new book, "Right Where You Belong: How to Identify & Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space," comes out in April.

• She met her husband Bruce at a small college in Indiana. They've been married for 24 years and have four boys, from 11 to 17 years old.
• Heather has been doing a weekly podcast for almost 10 years.

• Heather's new book, "Right Where You Belong: How to Identify & Fully Occupy Your God-Given Space," comes out in April.
• If you pre-order the book, you'll get a free audio copy.

• Heather has worked on giving herself more grace in the present moment and tries not to compare herself to friends or colleagues.
• She focuses on her God-given space and how she can serve others.

• Dialogue with God about your life. Bring your decisions to Him.
• We should be faithful and ask God for help and advice.

• Have an ongoing conversation with God about all things, good and bad.
• When you face challenges, focus on what you can control and where you can be.

• Heather is a big believer in talking with God, sitting with Him.
• Don't only talk with friends about your problems.

• Heather occupies her space and invites other to join her, but she doesn't try to force people to convert to her beliefs.

• Last thing that made her laugh? Her youngest son singing happy birthday to her while wearing costumes.
• Last thing that made her cry? American Idol

FEATURED QUOTES

I reflected on some places in my journey that felt like I was missing out or that I had messed up or I had failed. When I could pull back and see what God was doing, I could give myself grace then.

What if I could give myself grace in the present moment, in the failures and places that don't look like all of my friends?

God has given you this space.

Dialogue with God about your life. Bring your decisions to Him.

https://heathermacfadyen.com/

Heather MacFadyen is the host of the popular parenting podcast Don't Mom Alone, with more than 18 million downloads from around the globe, as well as the author of the book Don't Mom Alone. She finds great joy in connecting other women to mentors and experts through her podcast and in speaking at live events with women across the country. She and her husband and their four sons live in Dallas, Texas. Learn more at www.dontmomalone.com.

• My family has done this for the past few years. We spend as little money as possible for the entire month of March.
• We cut down on anything extraneous.

• We didn't create this concept. My husband John got the idea from a podcast called "Abraham's Wallet."
• We picked the month of March because we don't have much going on.

• You don't have to be married. You don't have to have kids. Literally anybody can do a low dough month.
• The number one benefit, in my opinion, is it's a recalibration tool to help us evaluate our spending habits.
• We do not eat out at all in the month of March unless we have a gift card. We like to stockpile gift cards and restaurant rewards points to use in March.

• We spend an insane amount of groceries, but we try to reel it in during the month of March.
• We love to host people and make meals for friends, but we try to use food in our pantry and freezers.

• Low dough March is a training and discipleship tool. We are training and learning to be better stewards of our money.
• By placing boundaries around certain places in our lives, we are training ourselves.

• Part of this training is helping us exercise our "no" muscle.

• My kids are 9 and 7, and this teaches them about being a good steward of money.
• It helps our kids realize that things cost money.

• When we have a surplus of money from low dough March, we give some of that money away and plan for big projects.

Low dough March is a month where we as a family spend as little money as possible. We really cut down on anything extraneous.

You don't have to be married. You don't have to have kids. Literally anybody can do a low dough month.

The number one benefit, in my opinion, is it's a recalibration tool to help us evaluate our spending habits.

When you sit and you really look at where you're spending money, it helps you hit a big reset on it.

By placing boundaries around certain places in our lives, we are training ourselves.

I have a very exciting guest this week. My daughter Lilly joins us to talk about a highly requested topic – the 10 things we have learned in two years of homesteading. We're not experts and certainly don't have it all figured out, but we dove into this life head first and have been so excited about it.

2:29 – The Lilly 101

• Lilly is 9 and in the 3rd grade.
• She loves playing outside, reading, drawing and listening to music, especially 90s, rock and pop music.

4:05 – Lesson 1: Sometimes things won't go your way

• Last year, we built a small greenhouse and a storm destroyed it. So my husband built a new greenhouse.
• We get meat birds and chickens, and they usually end up dying.

7:39 – Lesson 2: It's expensive

• This is not for the faint of heart, and it's also not cheap. It's a sacrifice.
• Feed, animals, fencing, vet bills, infrastructure, repairs – it's all expensive.

9:19 – Lesson 3: Death happens

• Lilly was 7 years old when we moved to the farm, and she has experienced a lot of animal deaths.
• Lilly named a chick Jerry, and he died four days later. It was her introduction to death and was tough.

17:21 – Lesson 4: It's so much fun, but much harder than we thought

• It's fun to take care of animals, pet them and eat them. But it's a lot of hard work.
• Until you jump into this lifestyle, you don't realize how much work it is.

18:30 – Lesson 5: The work never stops

• The farm doesn't take a vacation. If we want to go somewhere, we have to hire people to take care of the animals.
• We can't be spontaneous and travel last minute.

20:43 – Lesson 6: Babies are really, really fun

• The farm has a lot of death, but it also has a lot of birth and a lot of babies.

23:01 – Lesson 7: Fencing is the thing I never knew I wanted so badly

• We had no fencing infrastructure when we moved here.
• Fencing is incredibly expensive.

24:30 – Lesson 8: Goats are animals you love to hate

• We have huge goats. They are massive, enormous creatures.
• Our mama goat won't let us milk her.
• The goats eat our expensive flowers and trees, but not poison ivy.

27:06 – Lesson 9: We have learned a lot about God

• Just sitting outside and paying attention to the seasons and weather, we see God's hand in things.
• It's amazing to see animals' instincts in giving birth and taking care of their young.

30:09 – Lesson 10: It's rewarding, and we can't imagine doing anything else

• Homesteading is the most rewarding thing we've ever done and the best decision we've ever made.
• Lilly and her brother Amos don't always want to do their farm chores, but they are learning a lot about hard work and where their food comes from.

FEATURED QUOTES

If you have ever been just straight up curious, if you've ever wanted to move to a farm or you thought about the homestead life or this whole concept is foreign to you, hopefully this episode is for you. – Molly

I like 90s music. I get it from my mom. – Lilly

You go into a project expecting it to go one way, and it just doesn't. – Molly

Every year we always get meat birds and chickens, and they always end up dying. – Lilly

If you have an idea for something for the farm, it's probably not going to go the way that you think it is. – Molly

Moving to the farm, living the homestead life is not for the faint of heart, and it is also not cheap. It is a sacrifice. – Molly

When people ask me, 'How many pets do you have? … 108!' They're like, 'Where did you get all those pets? … I don't know. The Home Depot.' – Lilly

The farm has a lot of death, but it also has a lot of birth and a lot of babies. – Molly

My guests this week are Amy Daughters and Dana Rivera. Amy is a native Houstonian and a graduate of The Texas Tech University who has been a freelance writer for more than a decade—mostly covering college football and sometimes talking about her feelings.

Amy's debut novel, You Cannot Mess This Up: A True Story That Never Happened (She Writes Press, 2019), was selected as the Silver Winner for Humor in the 2019 Foreword INDIES and the Overall Winner for Humor/Comedy in the 2020 Next Generation Indie Awards.

Dana has been teaching 31 years and has 5 children and 6 grandchildren. She enjoys the beach, running, reading, LSU and spending time with her family. She is writing her first book, "This Is Not What I Expected."

You might be wondering, how are these people related? Years ago, Amy wanted to reach out to her old friend Dana and learned that Dana's son had terminal cancer. Their friendship was rekindled after decades, just because of a handwritten letter.

• She is retired from public school after teaching reading for many years.
• Dana is a grandmother and PE teacher. She considers it her dream job.

• She has lived in the Midwest and overseas.
• She mostly writes about college football, but also writes about her feelings.

• Amy wrote a book, "Dear Dana: That time I went crazy and wrote all 580 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter."
• More than 30 years ago, Amy and Dana met at a summer camp in Trinity, Texas. They were counselors together for six weeks.
• They reconnected years later, and Amy found out Dana's son had cancer. Amy started writing her letters.

• Dana was shocked that Amy was sending her the nicest cards.
• Amy wrote letters for several weeks before Dana's son Parker passed away at age 15.

• Amy decided to write letters to all of her Facebook friends.

• Try to rekindle the lost art of letter writing.
• It can be tough to write to someone who is grieving. Often, we don't know what to do or how to respond.

• Connecting with people is so important. When you feel a nudge to do it, go for it.
• Challenge yourself – send a handwritten note to two people.

• Last time they cried? When they leave each other after a visit.

FEATURED QUOTES

I mostly write about college football, and I sometimes write about my feelings. – Amy

I believe that every letter that left my outgoing mail is a credit back to my connection to Dana and to Parker. – Amy

Amy created a safe space for me to say this sucks, what in the world is going on? The outpouring of sharing came because she created a safe space. - Dana

https://www.amydaughters.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Dana-Facebook-friends-handwritten/dp/1647429005

My guest this week is Greg Jones, president of Belmont University in Nashville, Tenn. A celebrated speaker, author, educator and business leader, Greg believes in supporting communities through hope-inspired leadership and instilling a sense of purpose and entrepreneurial mindset in the next generation.

Greg speaks all throughout the Middle Tennessee area and beyond on a variety of related topics and is excited about his work across campus and throughout the Nashville community. Under Greg's leadership, Belmont is furthering its efforts to become the leading Christ-centered University in the world, radically championing the pursuit of life abundant for all people.

• Greg comes from a family of preachers and jokes that he didn't know he had a choice to be anything else.
• Two years ago, he got a call asking if he'd be interested in leading Belmont University.
• Character, purpose and an entrepreneurial mindset – those are all passions of his.

• He asks Belmont students to call him "Greg."
• He uses the phrase, "Let hope abound," to account for the realities of the day while still staying hopeful and relying on God.

• Greg has a propensity towards innovation and is cultivating relationships across the globe.
• Hope and purpose are both oriented toward the future, and so is innovation. They're also connected to the past.
• He coined the term "traditioned innovation" and says the best innovation draws on the best of the past.

• The pandemic caused people to be isolated, and their mental health declined.
• Greg wants to get to the deeper issues and help students who are struggling.

• Greg wants Belmont to spread good stories and help educate a younger generation about the difference they can make in creative ways.

• The last thing that made him laugh? A video from one of his granddaughters.
• The last thing that made him cry? Visiting a friend who is now in hospice care.

FEATURED QUOTES

I come from a family of preachers. When people asked me why I went into the ministry, I said, "It's the family business. I didn't know I had a choice."

Character, purpose and an entrepreneurial mindset – those are all passions of mine.

I coined the term that I call "traditioned innovation" to say that the best of innovation draws on the best of the past.

We need to be nurturing imagination and recovering that bigger sense of who we are.

https://president.belmont.edu/

My guest this week Carmin Black, Co-Founder and CEO of Half United. Founded in 2009 in Wilmington, N.C., Half United is a globally-minded human-first lifestyle brand committed to partnering with customers to fight hunger and empower lives with each purchase made.

Each collection reflects Carmin's love of fashion, philanthropy, and travel, seen every season in the product design, as well as the videos of the people and places where each purchase helps.

Half United is sold in more than 300 stores globally and embraces a philosophy of humans-first by fighting hunger and poverty, specifically for children and families, with every purchase made.

• Her company has been in business for 13 years and is socially minded.
• She is planning to segment her business into a for-profit and non-profit entity.
• Growing up, both of her grandfathers were ministers. There was always an emphasis on selflessness and giving to others.
• But she also loved fashion, just like the women in her family.

• Carmin didn't grow up hungry. Her family was the one giving food to hungry people.
• Food is one of the few things in life that is a level playing field. We all know what it means to be hungry, and we all need to eat.

• Carmin loves a meal called "chicken in a ditch" and trying unique food around the world.
• Food is memorable and we need it. It creates a human connection.

• The valleys of life wear us down. For example, if your kids are driving your crazy and it happens often enough, you start thinking, "I don't like my kids. What is wrong with me? Why am I a mom?" That's a bad place to be.
• To make things better, ask God to get you back on track.
• When we think we are the masters of our fate and the dictators of our destiny and we don't recognize a higher power, it's not a good place to be.

• You have to trust your gut instinct about growing your business.

• The last thing that made her laugh? Her brother's jokes about her old vehicle.
• The last thing that made her cry? Stress of business and burnout.

My mom, and many of the women in my family, were extremely fashionable and worked in the fashion industry.

I'm like, "Holy cow! We've got fashion. We've got philanthropy."

I didn't live in a home that personally battled hunger. We were the family that was giving to hungry people.

Food is one of the few things in life that is a level playing field. We all know what it means to be hungry, and we all need to eat.

When we think we are the masters of our fate and the dictators of our destiny and we don't recognize a higher power, it's not a good place to be.

https://www.halfunited.com/

My guest this week is Inez Ribustello, a mother, wife, author, entrepreneur and beer and wine lover.

Inez got her start in the world of food and wine after moving to New York City from her home state of North Carolina. Her wine career took a huge leap forward when she became an Assistant Cellar Master at Windows on the World in One World Trade Center. In a very short time, she was promoted to Beverage Director.

After losing her job and her work family in the terrorist attacks on 9/11, Inez moved back to her hometown with her fiancé Stephen. Together they opened their own restaurant, wine bar and retail store called On the Square.

Inez' next big venture was Tarboro Brewing Company, a microbrewery that began operating in 2016. Almost a year later, she and her husband opened a satellite taproom in a neighboring town. Stephen and Inez have two children.

In September of 2021, Inez self-published her memoir Life After Windows, a book she wrote chronicling her journey from North Carolina to Manhattan.

• Most people in Tarboro call her "Ine" (pronounced eye-knee)
• After getting a part-time job at a wine shop during culinary school, Inez realized she liked to drink more than she liked to cook.
• After 9/11, she went back to North Carolina and opened a small restaurant.

• Inez didn't have big plans for her life and wanted to get engaged in college. The man she loved moved to New York City, so she did, too.
• She didn't expect to fall in love with New York and fall out of love with the man she followed.

• Inez was determined to work at Windows on the World, a restaurant at the top of the World Trade Center.
• Inez read an article about the restaurant and the sommelier and decided she wanted to work there.

• Inez went home to North Carolina to be in her sister's wedding in September 2001.
• She told all her co-workers goodbye before leaving work for what would be the last time.
• Inez watched 9/11 unfold on TV and tried calling everyone she knew.

• When Inez saw where the plane hit the tower, she thought it would be a mess to clean up. She was in a state of shock and didn't understand what was happening.
• The hardest thing for her was the intense rage and anger that she had never experienced before.
• Inez was so mad at God for what happened.

• A publisher she spoke with said no one would care about her or her book.
• A woman encouraged Inez to write her book and publish it on the 20th anniversary of 9/11.

• The last thing that made her laugh? Her son in high school is hysterical.
• The last thing that made her cry? Talking with a friend.

I realized I liked to drink more than I liked to cook. No one ever told me you could make a career in wine.

The whole season after 9/11 was just such a lonely, brutal time.

The hardest thing for me was the intense rage and overwhelming anger that I had not experienced as a person because that's not who I am. That lasted a really long time.

I was so mad at God, just furious [after Sept. 11].

I wasn't a victim [of Sept. 11], but I lost people and I lost a place.

https://www.inezribustello.com/

https://www.inezribustello.com/book/#continue-reading