Canned Meat Theatre

A selection of the very best sketches from Canned Meat Theatre so far, plus some commentary from the writers (what are those?). 

Stay tuned for our new season coming in 2026!

“The Night Podiatrist,” written by Jennifer Kalison and Doug McDowell (Episode 2)

Voices: 
Dr. Sidney Greenbaum: Doug McDowell
Ina Trouble: Jennifer Kalison

“The Bureaucrat: No Day at the Beach” written by Wayne Cothron and Doug McDowell. (Episode 2)

Voices: 
Art Cox: Doug McDowell 
Debra: Jennifer Kalison

“After Happily Ever After” written by Jeff Rembert. (Episode 7)

Voices:
It’s Kim: Kimberly DiPersia
Snow White: Jennifer Kalison

“Bitch Bar” written by Doug McDowell (Episode 9)

Voices:
Announcer (Male): Jeffrey S. Herman
Announcer (Female): Toni Deckers

“Ken Burns Presents: The Civil War Revisited” written by Wayne Cothron and Doug McDowell (Episode 6)

Voices:
Ken Burns: Doug McDowell
Col. Thomas P. Jones: Jeff Rembert
Lt. Samuel R. Smith/Pvt. Benjamin “Boomer Dalton: Michael F. Lewis
Clara Ramsay: Kimberly DiPersia
Capt. Alexander Lippincott: Doc Anthony Bravo


“Superheroes Day Off” written by Jennifer Kalison (Episode 9)

Voices:
Barb (Blue Suede): Sarah Zavala
Diane (Lasso Girl): Rachael Tillman
Customer 1: Doug McDowell
Customer 2: Toni Deckers
Customer 3: Michael F. Lewis


“Purity Weekend” written and directed by Toni Deckers (Recorded live August 25, 2025)

Voices:
Youth Pastor Laura: Toni Deckers
Betsy: Rachael Tillman
Alyssa: Kimberly DiPersia
Katie: Andrea Howells

“That’s Florida for You!” written by Erik Deckers (2025 Halloween Special)

Voices:
Johnny Sunshine: Jeffrey S. Herman
Jake: Michael F. Lewis
Billie Mae: Rachael Tillman
Summer: Toni Deckers
Announcer: Doug McDowell

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

A special Halloween episode! Just for you! (not really.)

Featuring: Gothrobics… Extreme Home Makeover: Forensics Edition… The Bureaucrat… I Wanna Dance with Somebody… Crime & Wine: A Millennial True Crime Podcast… Inexplicable: First Contact?… That’s Florida For You!… 

and More!

Credits and Attribution:

“Gothrobics” written by Jennifer Kalison

Voices:
Velonia: Jennifer Kalison
Ms. Wolski: Lillian McGuinness


“Extreme Home Makeover: Forensics Edition” written by Jennifer Kalison

Voices:
Sy: Doug McDowell
Aileen: Sarah Zavala
Eddie: Michael F. Lewis
Detective: Sharon McKay Anguin


“The Bureaucrat: Halloween 2025” written by Wayne Cothron & Doug McDowell 

Voices:
Voicemail: Jennifer Kalison
Art Cox: Doug McDowell
Kelly: Rachael Tillman
Mayor Leo/Alfred: Jeffrey S. Herman


“I Wanna Dance with Somebody!” written by Toni Deckers

Voices:
Lisa: Toni Deckers
Dara: Rachael Tillman

“Crime & Wine: A Millennial True Crime Podcast” written by Jeffrey S. Herman

Voices: 
Madison: Lillian McGuinness
Tyler: Jaxson Powers 
Kai: Paige Weisheimer
Professor: Jeffrey S. Herman


“Inexplicable: First Contact” written by Doug McDowell

Voices: 
V-Mail: Jennifer Kalison
Narrator/Weird Voice: Sharon McKay Anguin
Artie: Larry Calabretta
Gary: Michael F. Lewis
A.J.: Jaxson Powers

“That’s Florida for You!” written by Erik Deckers

Voices:
Johnny Sunshine:
Jake: Michael F. Lewis
Billie Mae: Rachael Tillman
Summer: Toni Deckers
Announcer: Doug McDowell


Directed by Doug McDowell
Sound design by Doug McDowell

Sound Effects:
wine_pour.wav by postworkflow -- https://freesound.org/s/360698/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

Another live show!
Featuring some of your old favorites and some brand new material. Enjoy!

Produced as part of the Next Step Screenplay series by All the Line Studio and Incubator.

Recorded live at Bynx, Orlando, Florida
August 25, 2025

Directed by Doug McDowell

Sound Design and Recording: Michael F. Lewis

Artistic Director for All the Line Studio and Incubator: Kimberly DiPersia

Curator for Next Steps Screenplay Series: Jeff Rembert

Cast:
Stede Bonnett
Doc Anthony Bravo 
Ryan Burke
Toni Deckers
Kimberly DiPersia
Jeffrey S. Herman
Andrea Howells 
Jennifer Kalison
Michael F. Lewis
Doug McDowell
Rachael Tillman

Sketches:

“Please Be Advised”  by Doug McDowell 
“Superheroes’ Day Off” by Jennifer Kalison 
“Shelf Help with Shari Phelps! #3” by Jennifer Kalison
“Neighborhood Dysphoria”  by Doug McDowell 
“The (Mis) adventures of Astroman” by Wayne Cothron and Doug McDowell
“Purity Weekend” by Toni Deckers
“Miss Fortune”  by Andrea Howells 
“The Bureaucrat- Mashup #2” written by Wayne Cothron, Andrea Howells and Doug McDowell
“Thr Cryptopsychiatrist” by Andrea Howells
“Last of the Hunter-Gatherers”  by Doug McDowell   
“Will and Testament”  by Andrea Howells
“The Dessert”  by Doug McDowell 

Music:
““Desert City”, “Mystery Bazzar”, “Shamanistic”,and “Tabuk” - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License (CCBY 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

If you find yourself in the Central Florida area, don’t miss our 2nd live show on Monday, August 25, 2025 at Bynx in Downtown Orlando, in partnership with All The Line Studio and Incubator.

You’ll be able to see our talented actors live on stage performing some of your favorite sketches from past episodes plus some amazing brand new material.

It's the most fun you can have on a Monday night. At least without drugs.

For more information and tickets visit our website at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

or visit our partners at All the Line Studio and Incubator at www.allthelinestudio.com

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

Thirteen episodes! Lucky for us! Not for you.

Featuring: Space Travel Lottery Winners… Tech Support for the Afterlife… The Bureaucrat… Don’t Drop the Deuce Florida!… Beware the Idiots of March… Three Dog Night… The (Mis)adventures of Astroman… The Starlight Café… 
and More!

“Space Travel Lottery Winners” written by Jennifer Kalison
Voices:
It’s Kim!: Kimberly DiPersia
Jane: Jennifer Kalison
Dave: Jay Bog
Linda: Rachael Tillman
Brad: Jeffrey S. Herman
Shayla: Sarah Zavala

“Tech Support for the Afterlife” written by Doc Anthony Bravo
Voices:
Doc: Doc Anthony Bravo
Caller: Doug McDowell
Announcer: Neena Leon

“The Bureaucrat: Bureaucrats on Parade” written by Andrea Howells, Wayne Cothron & Doug McDowell 
Voices:
Voicemail: Jennifer Kalison
Art Cox/ Hulk Hogan: Doug McDowell
Sandy Shoals: Andrea Howells
Mayor Leo: Jeffrey S. Herman
Hulk-o-maniac: Doc Anthony Bravo
Little Girl: Sarah Zavala

“Don’t Drop the Deuce Florida!” written by Doug McDowell
Voices:
Lifeguard #1: Kimberly DiPersia
Lifeguard #2: Doc Anthony Bravo
Beachgoer #1: Neena Leon
Beachgoer #2: Jason Montilla

“Beware the Idiots of March” written by Erik Deckers
Voices: 
Roman Senator Casca: Jeffrey S. Herman
Junior Senator Spurius: Doc Anthony Bravo

“Three Dog Night” written by Toni Deckers
Voices:
Hazel: Toni Deckers
Chester: Jason Montilla                                                                                                Mollie: Sarah Zavala

“The Misadventures of Astroman #2” written by Wayne Cothron & Doug McDowell
Voices:
Announcer: Doug McDowell
Lois Kent: Toni Deckers
Cody Kent (Astroman): Jay Bog

“The Starlight Cafe” written by Jeffrey S. Herman
Voices: 
Announcer: Jeffrey S. Herman
Customer: Doug McDowell
Waitress (Terra Nova): Neena Leon
Luna: Rachael Tillman
Cook: Jay Bog

Directed by Doug McDowell
Sound design by Doug McDowell

Sound Effects:

Creepy Sound Effect: Paranormal 9 (Vol 002) by AlesiaDavina -- https://freesound.org/s/691439/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

AMBCele_Waiting for the Starlight Parade to begin_TK_SASSMKH8020.flac by tim.kahn -- https://freesound.org/s/636952/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

AMBCele_The Starlight Parade part 01_TK_SASSMKH8020.flac by tim.kahn -- https://freesound.org/s/636950/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Blender.wav by Sound_2425 -- https://freesound.org/s/538306/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

Twelve episodes! That’s a dozen!

Featuring: World Makeup Finals… Neighborhood Dysphoria… Cold Case Diaries with Amanda… Shelf Help with Shari Phelps!… Superhero Pharmacy Blues… The Bureaucrat… 
and More!

“World Makeup Finals” written by Jennifer Kalison
Voices:
Matt Finnish: Jaxon Powers
Pearl Shine: Jennifer Coe
Sheena: Lisa Acebo

“Neighborhood Dysphoria” written by Doug McDowell
Voices:
Dr. Betty Johnson: Toni Deckers
Jan: Jennifer Coe
Melissa: Lillian McGuinness
Councilman Fred Derflinger: Jeffrey S. Herman 

“Cold Case Diaries with Amanda” written by Wayne Cothron and Doug McDowell
Voices:
Amanda: Rachael Tillman
Det. Charlie Jones: Michael F. Lewis
Announcer: Jonathan Stoffel

“Shelf Help with Shari Phelps! #3” written by Jennifer Kalison
Voices:
Shari Phelps: Jennifer Kalison

“Superhero Pharmacy Blues” written by Jennifer Kalison
Voices: 
Announcer: Doug McDowell
Barb/Blue Suede: Sarah Zavala
Diane/Lasso Girl: Rachael Tillman
Pharmacy Bot: Jennifer Kalison 
Pharmacy Staff Member: Lillian McGuinness

“The Bureaucrat: The Convention” written by Wayne Cothron 
Voices:
Art Cox: Doug McDowell
Mayor Leo: Jeffrey S. Herman
Saul Heyman/Johan Van der Meer: Jonathan Stoffel

Directed by Doug McDowell
Sound design by Doug McDowell

Sound Effects:

baby_birth_firstmoments_burping.mp3 by NoiseCollector -- https://freesound.org/s/96292/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

Versatile Beep.wav by theplax -- https://freesound.org/s/618191/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

elevator door open.aif by mredig -- https://freesound.org/s/120557/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

We’re back! Whether you like it or not.

Featuring: The Night Podiatrist… Purity Weekend… The Bureaucrat… ShurJet: The Real Discount Airline!… The (Mis)adventures of Astroman… Name and Address Withheld: Will and Testament
and More!

“The Night Podiatrist: Post Holiday Pain” written by Jennifer Kalison

Voices:
Dr. Sidney Greenbaum: Doug McDowell
Aunt Judy: Jennifer Kalison

“Purity Weekend” written and directed by Toni Deckers

Voices:
Youth Pastor Laura: Toni Deckers
Betsy: Eden Shultz
Katie: Sarah Zavala
Alyssa: Lillian McGuiness

“The Bureaucrat: Civil Unrest” written by Wayne Cothron 

Voices:
V-mail: Jennifer Kalison
Harold Blevin: Brian Wagner 
Art Cox: Doug McDowell
Mayor Leo: Jeffrey S. Herman

“ShurJet: The Real Discount Airline!” written by Doug McDowell

Voices:
Announcer 1 (M): Jeffrey S. Herman
Announcer 2(F): Eden Shultz
Pilot: Michael F. Lewis
Dad/Passenger/Mechanic 1: Jay Bog
Kid/Attendant/Mechanic 2: Lillian McGuiness

“The (Mis)adventures of Astroman” written by Wayne Cothron and Doug McDowell

Dedicated to the memory of Milton Wilford.

Voices:
Announcer: Doug McDowell
TV Anchor: Toni Deckers
Cody Kent (Astroman): Jay Bog
Virgil Kent (Captain Cosmos): Jeffrey S. Herman
Waitress: Neena Leon 

“Name and Address Withheld: Will and Testament” written by Andrea Howells

Voices: 
Lawyer: Andrea Howells
Reader: Jeffrey S. Herman
Background Voices: Jay Bog, Michael F. Lewis, Andrea Howells, Doug McDowell 

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

Happy Holidays! 

Join Metal Mike and journey back to the turn of the millenium and the strangest sub-genre of metal ever.

written by Doug McDowell

Voices:
Metal Mike: Doc Anthony Bravo
Freya Bjorgenborgensen: Freya Hunt
Siggi Sigursdottir: Jennifer Kalison
Horace Rutting-Pigg: Jeffrey S. Herman
Dr. Inga Malmsteen: Rachael Tillman
Bart Szmansky: Michael F. Lewis
Monique/Andrea: Sarah Zavala
Frankie/Gunnar: Doug McDowell

Song Lyrics for “Dilate” and “Don’t Come Near Me (or I’ll Rip it Off)” by Jennifer Kalison.

Music for “Dilate” and “Don’t Come Near Me (or I’ll Rip it Off)” courtesy of SUNO. 

Sound Effects:

Guitar noise01.wav by LG -- https://freesound.org/s/16033/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Distorted Guitar.wav by D3vilici0us -- https://freesound.org/s/511197/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

Distortion Guitar Power Chord E.wav by tosha73 -- https://freesound.org/s/533847/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

Our first live show!
Featuring some of your old favorites and some brand new material. Enjoy!

Produced as part of the Next Step Screenplay series by All the Line Studio and Incubator.

Recorded live at Bynx, Orlando, Florida
September 30, 2024

Directed by Doug McDowell

Sound Design and Recording: Michael F. Lewis

Live Stream: Tony Taylor

Artistic Director for All the Line Studio and Incubator: Kimberly DiPersia

Curator for Next Steps Screenplay Series: Jeff Rembert

Cast:
Joe Boino
Doc Anthony Bravo 
Toni Deckers
Kimberly DiPersia
Jeffrey Herman
 Andrea Howells 
Jennifer Kalison
Neena Leon
Doug McDowell 
Kayla Miller 

“Please Be Advised”  by Doug McDowell 
“The Night Podiatrist 1” by Jennifer Kalison and Doug McDowell 
“Name And Address Withheld-Say Hello to Mrs. D”  by Doug McDowell 
“We Got Food”  by Doug McDowell 
“After Happily Ever After”  by Jeff Rembert 
“Bitch Bar” written by Doug McDowell
“The Bureaucrat- Mashup” written by Wayne Cothron and Doug McDowell
“Assistant App” by Kimberly DiPersia 
“Ken Burns Presents: The Civil War Revisited”  by Wayne Cothron   
“Miss Fortune”  by Andrea Howells 
“Shelf Help With Shari Phelps!-Halloween Edition”  by Jennifer Kalison
“Name And Address Withheld-Vaya Con Dios”  by Doug McDowell 
“Ask Your Uncle Dave”  by Doug McDowell
“Beware the Idiots of March” by Erik Deckers
“World Makeup Finals”  by Jennifer Kalison
“Al Standish for Not Now!”  by Jeff Rembert
“The Night Podiatrist 2”  by Andrea Howells 
“Don’t Drop the Deuce Florida!”  by Doug McDowell 

Music: 

"Tiki Bar Mixer" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Sound Effects: 

Roman Marching music loop with horns 1 by deleted_user_6109353 -- https://freesound.org/s/341739/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

Roman Marching music loop with horns 2 by deleted_user_6109353 -- https://freesound.org/s/341743/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

Roman Horn - Announcing sound by deleted_user_6109353 -- https://freesound.org/s/342364/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

Creepy Sound Effect: Paranormal 9 (Vol 002) by AlesiaDavina -- https://freesound.org/s/691439/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon

Our tenth episode! With a Halloween theme! Look out behind you!

Featuring: Pumpkin Spice Apocalypse… The Day HE Went to See His Agent… The Bureaucrat… The Big Bad Wolf: Behind the Howl… Angel Studios Halloween… The Haunted GPS… and More!

“Pumpkin Spice Apocalypse” written by Jeffrey Herman

Voices:
Narrator: Jeffrey Herman
Kara: Paige Weinsheimer
Greg: Doc Anthony Bravo
Barista (Witch): Rachael Tillman

“The Day HE Went to See His Agent” by Doug McDowell

Voices:
Michael Myers: Doug McDowell
Monica: Rachael Tillman
Receptionist: Sarah Zavala
Jason Vorhees: Michael Lewis

“The Bureaucrat: A Grave Issue” written by Wayne Cothron 

Voices:
V-mail: Jennifer Kalison
Bubba Ray: Michael Lewis 
Art Cox: Doug McDowell
Mr. Hitchens: Jeffrey Herman

“The Big Bad Wolf: Behind the Howl” written by Wayne Cothron

Voices:
It’s Kim: Kimberly DiPersia
Charlie (The Big Bad Wolf): Jeffrey Herman
Howard: Michael Lewis
Guard: Doc Anthony Bravo

“Angel Studios Halloween” written by Alex R. Wagner and Chelsea Roach

Voices:
Announcer: Jeffrey Herman
Ned/Dad: Doug McDowell
Jack/Danny: Joe Boino
Alice/Mom/ Judith: Sarah Zavala
Jason: Doc Anthony Bravo

“The Haunted GPS” written by Jeffrey Herman

Voices: 
Narrator: Jeffrey Herman
Joseph: Joe Boino
GPS Voice: Jennifer Kalison
Old Man: Jeff Rembert

“Halloween Bits” written by Jennifer Kalison

Voices:
Teacher/ Patient/Guy on Date: Doc Anthony Bravo
Caitlin/Therapist/Girl on Date: Sarah Zavala
Allison: Rachael Tillman
Student: Paige Weinsheimer 

Music:

“Ice Demon”, “Lightless Dawn” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License (CCBY 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

“Horrific Dreams” by Victor_Natas 
 https://freesound.org/s/616792/ 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License (CCBY 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

“Classic Horror Movie Scene Music” by Beetlemuse 
https://freesound.org/s/617152/ 
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License (CCBY 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Sound Effects:

Thunderclap.wav by Geissler -- https://freesound.org/s/104521/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

GeelongJail-2.wav by edwar64896 -- https://freesound.org/s/250933/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

Horn1.wav by Gijsknol -- https://freesound.org/s/68121/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Car window sound .wav by FIlippoPolverini -- https://freesound.org/s/631925/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Visit us at www.cannedmeattheatre.com

Support us on Patreon