Can't Report That

Can't Report That

By Can't Report ThatComedy
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Can't Report That episodes

  • Episode 4: Scary Stories

    Not every shift ends with a funny story. Some moments stick with you long after you clock out.

    In this episode of Can't Report That, we step away from the laughs and dive into some of the creepiest, strangest, and most unsettling experiences we've encountered while working security.

    From eerie situations and unexplained moments to encounters that made us question what was really happening, these are the stories that still give us chills when we think back on them.

    Because when you work security, you're not just dealing with people—you’re sometimes dealing with places, situations, and moments that feel like something out of a horror movie.

    Turn down the lights, lock the doors, and join us for some of the scariest stories we've ever told.

    ⚠️ Listener discretion advised: Mature themes, strong language, and stories involving disturbing situations.

    #CantReportThat #ScaryStories #SecurityStories #TrueStories #CreepyEncounters #HorrorStories #StoryTime #SecurityLife #Podcast #BehindTheScenes

    41 min
  • Episode 3: Billy

    Every job has that one person who becomes a legend. For us, that person is Billy.

    In this episode of Can't Report That, we share some of our funniest and most unbelievable encounters with one of our most memorable regulars. Billy has a special talent for turning ordinary moments into complete chaos, leaving us with stories that are equal parts ridiculous, confusing, and impossible to forget.

    From bizarre conversations to unexpected situations, these are the Billy moments that became instant classics.

    Because when Billy shows up, you already know the shift is about to get interesting.

    ⚠️ Listener discretion advised: Strong language, adult humor, and stories involving addiction, unpredictable behavior, and unusual encounters.

    #CantReportThat #SecurityStories #BillyStories #FunnyPodcast #TrueStories #StoryTime #SecurityLife #WorkStories #ComedyPodcast #BehindTheScenes

    45 min
  • Episode 2: Saving The Girl & Fen-nol Guy

    Some shifts are funny. Some are stressful. And some become stories you’ll never forget.

    In this episode of Can't Report That, Cu and Sky share two completely wild encounters that went from routine to life-or-death in a matter of seconds. One situation pushes them to their limits and nearly turns into a tragedy, while another involves a guy so completely out of it that the entire situation becomes a mix of chaos, confusion, and disbelief.

    We also introduce you to one of our most unforgettable regulars: "Whale Lady." A free-spirited old hippie with absolutely no filter and a talent for turning every conversation into something wildly inappropriate. From awkward comments to unexpected oversharing, she’s the kind of person who makes you laugh, cringe, and wonder how you ended up in that conversation.

    From moments that test your training and instincts to encounters so ridiculous they become comedy gold, this episode shows the full range of what security work can throw at you with the perfect mix of chaos, adrenaline, and the kind of stories you only get from working the front lines.

    One minute you're trying to keep people safe. The next minute you're dealing with something that sounds like it came straight out of a movie written by someone who thought, “Nobody would ever believe this actually happened.”

    ⚠️ Listener discretion advised: Strong language, dark humor, drug-related situations, mature humor, and intense real-life encounters.

    #CantReportThat #SecurityStories #TrueStories #FunnyPodcast #CrazyEncounters #StoryTime #SecurityLife #WorkStories #BehindTheScenes #NoFilter #SaveTheWhales

    40 min
  • Episode 1: Dolphin Dive

    Welcome to Can't Report That—where the stories from the job are too crazy to stay on the job.

    In our first episode, we introduce the team: Oliver, Cu, and Sky—three security professionals with no shortage of unbelievable stories from the front lines.

    We kick things off with some hilarious stories about one of the most unforgettable coworkers we’ve ever had: "Gary." A simple man who somehow managed to turn simple situations into complete chaos and leave everyone wondering how he made it through the day. Sky also shares a Paul Blart-style night with Gary that proves sometimes the biggest challenges in security aren't always the dangerous ones—they're the ones that are so ridiculous you can't believe you're actually living them.

    Oliver and Sky tell the story of an unexpected family reunion that nobody saw coming. And Cu exposes one of Sky’s most awkward moments ever—a bathroom situation that turned into a story Sky would probably rather forget.

    It’s funny, it’s chaotic, and it’s a perfect introduction to the ridiculous world of security work where every shift comes with a story.

    ⚠️ Listener discretion advised: Strong language, adult humor, embarrassing moments, and stories from real security experiences.

    #CantReportThat #SecurityStories #FunnyPodcast #TrueStories #SecurityLife #StoryTime #WorkStories #BehindTheScenes #ComedyPodcast #NoFilter

    1 hr 13 min

About Can't Report That

From the publisher's feed

Three friends, countless shifts, and a massive list of stories that never made the official log. Join us on Can’t Report That as we share our most "un-reportable" career highlights, host industry…