Carole Baskins Diary

Tribute to Tabitha Ocelot

Female Ocelot born in 1983. Arrived here 6/17/97

 

Her story is repeated all too often by greedy people looking to make a profit off an animal. She supplied kittens to the pet trade until she was 13 and quit producing. She was unceremoniously dumped at an auction where she was in the company of pigs and goats and people with even less attractive manners. She only brought $100.00 because of her age, but her new owner thought it was worth a shot to get just one more kitten out of her. A year later, when they had been unsuccessful they decided to sell her.

 

When we arrived, she was living in a small wire crate that would not enable her to get out of her own urine and feces. As a result of living this way for a year, the fur had been burned off her underbelly and the backside of her haunches were burned past the flesh, into the muscle. Untreated ear mites had caused her to scratch her own ears off trying to alleviate the itching. She was bony and listless and looked like she would die any day, but she wasn't going to die in those conditions, so our Co-Founder paid the $1700.00 demanded for her ransom and brought her home to live her last days on Easy Street.

 

That was in 1997 and now she is fully furred and has a huge cat-a-tat with an underground cave, logs, bushes and flowers and gets special treatment due to her advanced years and incurable heartworm condition. This photo was taken in December of 2000.  We no longer buy animals to save them because we now have to turn away more than 300 unwanted exotic "pets" each year.  Tabitha was found curled up in a ball where she had been warming in the sun on 2/2/04.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Howie Makes My Coffee

 

I know Howie loves me.  I know every morning when I wake up to the sound of coffee brewing that I am loved.  I know when he stays up until midnight working on my books so that I can apply for grants.  I know when he can’t sleep nights because he is worrying that some part of my life won’t be absolutely perfect, like the pitch on the tennis court, that he loves me, but he almost never says so.  For Howie to say, “I love you.” it has to have just overwhelmed him to the point that he can’t tighten his lips enough to suppress the words.  All because his father said them so meaninglessly to his mother.  So when Howie says, “I love you so much!” as he did last night, then it is worth writing about.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

End Times Dream 

 

(Photo is Jamie and Raindance circa 1997)

 

Something was bad wrong and had been that way for a long time.  Only Jamie and I remained in the ruins of what was once Big Cat Rescue.  The sounds of the expressway were silenced.  No one drove any more.  Gasoline reserves were exhausted and there was nowhere to go anyway.  No businesses were in operation any more.  People were starving.  There wasn’t a single bird in the air, not a single rustle in the grass of a mouse or a snake or anything alive.  Even the plants were parched and it seemed the whole world sat in stillness waiting for death.

 

I had waited too long.  There were no vets anymore.  There were no magical injections that could bring the peaceful escape into the next life for my cats.  They were starving in their barren cells.  I couldn’t turn them loose.  There was no prey for them.  People had eaten everything that moved and I had protected these cats day and night from those intent on eating them too.  The place had been ransacked time and again, but I had been able to protect my precious friends, believing that things would change.  Things had to change.  Things had to get better.  I had been wrong.

 

Now it was obvious that I couldn’t prolong their waiting, their starving, any longer.  All I had left was an old .22 rifle that was taped together and a couple dozen bullets.  Not even enough to kill every cat if I were able to make each shot count.  I had to get face to face with the cats I loved most.  I had to pull the trigger and hope they died instantly and if not, then I knew that I had to use one more precious bullet to end their suffering.  I wanted to turn away.  I didn’t want to have to be the one to do this, but everyone was gone.  Every one but Jamie.

 

She was offering to help, but I couldn’t let her live the nightmare.  I could feed some of the cats to her and keep her alive a little longer.  Maybe something would change.  If salvation came, I didn’t want her living with the nightmare of what I was having to do.  I leveled the muzzle onto the back of Sugar’s neck and pulled the trigger.  She lunged forward, staggered, turned to look at me and fell.  She laid there bleeding from the tiny wound and an eternity seemed to pass.  Could she feel the searing hot metal in her flesh or was she paralyzed against the pain?  I couldn’t tell.  Her breathing was heavy… laboured…I raised the gun once more and she quit breathing.  She saved the bullet for her mate.

 

When I had to shoot Raindance I had shot several other cats already and had lovingly carried them into the now silent freezer.  I didn’t cry.  I couldn’t cry.  I couldn’t let Jamie see what this was doing to me.  I walked in with Raindance because she was smaller and it would be too easy for me to miss.  As she stood up on her bench plaintive crying in my face, I aimed for the back of her throat and shuddered back the trigger.  The bullet passed through the back of her neck, rather than her brain as I intended.  At first I thought that she wasn’t going to die.  She kept trying to talk to me, but blood gurgled up from the gaping wound, drowning out her last questions about why this had happened.  How different her world looked from inside a cage.  How could she understand that I had done all that I could and failed?  I carried her, still gurgling blood to the freezer.

 

I couldn’t stand this.  It was more than I could take.  Would I save a bullet for Jamie?  How would I ever be able to do that?  I suppose the thought of that was just more than I could take and I woke up.

 

This had been one of those dreams that seemed so real.  Every detail could be heard, seen, felt, smelled and although it seemed like a world gone mad, it seemed perfectly real.  I laid there in bed crying for a long time because in a very real sense this is what I face every day.  I had to turn away 300 cats last year.  I took in six and found homes for 4 more, but I know that when I say no, a cat is going to

Howie says the relationship with Carole has just been the best thing that has ever happened to me

 

(Photo is us with Howie’s high school science teacher Skip Degilio and his wife Barbara)

 

An excerpt from a letter that Howie wrote to an old friend named Vicky that he copied me on:  “Life here is very, very good, but has changed a lot.  The good is that the relationship with Carole has just been the best thing that has ever happened to me.  All the stuff that was supposed to be so hard for someone who had been single for so long and never "done this" before has never arisen.  We get along great, we work together well, etc. etc.  The closest we have come to a "disagreement" is when one of us is insisting that the other NOT go so much out of their way to be considerate.

 

Also, I've been working full time on the sanctuary, and part time on the accounting side of Carole's real estate business, and probably working about as hard as I ever have but with a satisfaction that I have never known.  The "cause" of saving these cats has really gotten into my bones.  So my days of leisure and frequent visits etc. have temporarily disappeared until I can whittle down the "to do" list to a more manageable backlog.

 

Anyway, how about we try to plan some kind of visit, one direction or the other, in late February after I get through the current crunch of implementing new accounting and gift shop point of sale software that is way behind schedule and driving me nuts and the critical planned development hearing on 24th.  Would it work for you to "pencil in" the weekend of 28th?”

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Jamie and Daniel returned from a week in the cabin

They brought us a big iron hanging of a romantic looking woman.  As soon as Howie walked away, Jamie pulled me into a corner and shyly held out her left hand.  On her ring finger was perched a tiny but oh-so-typically-understated-Jamie  engagement ring.

 

I was in shock and didn’t know quite what to say.  She and Daniel Capiro have been together for 6 years but she had never wanted to get married.  When I asked if they had set a date, Jamie said that they might go to New Zealand for a vacation to celebrate their commitment, but that they didn’t need formal contracts to keep them together.  I thought Daniel answered with remarkable insight, “When you tell someone you want to be with her forever, it doesn’t matter when.” 

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

2004 New Year’s Resolutions 1. I am easily maintaining 140 pounds and look great! 2. I am proud to work out at the gym 3 days a week. 3. I am enjoying playing tennis on week days. 4. I feel rewarded by blading or swimming on week days. 5. I have established Big Cat Rescue as self sufficient. 6. I have the best and brightest talent on our board. 7. I look for opportunities to promote Big Cat Rescue’s mission. 8. I am happy and fulfilled and feel like the luckiest person in the world! 9. I meditate daily, envisioning a better and brighter future every day. 10. I visit my grandmother and children at least once a month in a social setting. 11. I am spending quality time with my partner, parents and child each day. 12. I love unconditionally. 13. I do whatever it takes to make Howie happy. 14. I pray with thankfulness in my heart. Howie and I spent New Year’s Eve Quietly at Home We watched a movie at home and found ourselves making love at midnight, even though both of us had said we didn’t want to be up late. This has been the best year of my life!!! I was in my office and Howie came in to hug me. He is very affectionate that way, but rarely says, “I love you.” because his father said it all the time to his mother and obviously didn’t know what it meant. Much to my surprise, and maybe for the 5th time in a year, he was just so overwhelmed that he couldn’t keep from saying, “I love you so much! This is going to be an even better year than last!” It made me cry for joy.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

2003 Annual Report

If your charity doesn’t make this information accessible on line, perhaps you should ask why.  We are proud of the way we have utilized your donations and think you should know how your money has been spent.   The following figures reflect the fiscal and calendar year 2003.

 

Income

Gifts and Contributions cash:           688,571.

Inventory Sold:                               33,942.

Rental Income donated property:        21,298.

Interest & mortgages pledged             29,770.

Events income:                                22,908.

Non cash donation of time shares         9,000.

Total income for the year 2003:           $796,489.

 

Expenses

Animal Care and Education:           172,153.

Advertising:                                  33,948.

Administrative:                              12,028.

Salaries:                                       47,579.

Professional fees:                             7,057.

Depreciation:                                149,281.

Other:                                               418.

Total Expense for the year 2003:     $402,114.

 

• Excess for 2003    $  337,323.00

• Net Assets at the beginning of 2003        $ 896,945.

• Net Assets at the ending of 2003              $ 1,142,039.

 

While this accounting appears to show a gain, it does not take into consideration money spent on capital improvements.  Our complete 990 is available online at Guidestar.org under Big Cat Rescue. 

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Babylon Re-enters My Life After Thousands of Years

 

I don’t know the day Babylon turned up in my life for certain, but it was sometime in 2003 -2004.  (This photo was more like 2017) We were remodeling the old gift shop by taking the remaining offices and turning them into display space.  That meant Babylon couldn’t stay in the office any longer.  I didn’t have any office space that wasn’t in the middle of all that chaos, so he needed to find a new home.  He made that home with Howie and I on the island.   He was about 8 months old when he came into our lives.  He had been left at the front gate in a carrier with a baby brush and a note saying his name was Boots.  He was dying from crystals blocking his urethra and staff had taken him to the vet for emergency care.  He was so near death that he was allowing our keepers to give him IV fluids as he laid motionless on the desk. 

 

He got his name because the first time I saw him I exclaimed, out loud, "I haven't seen you since Babylon!"  Everyone in the room turned to look at me, wondering what the hell that outburst was about.  I didn’t care.  I was just so happy to see my precious soul mate all these eons later.  He was laying on the corner of a desk, with an IV hanging from above giving him fluids.  We had locked eyes the minute I walked in and in addition to not knowing what I was babbling on about, the people in the room noticed their patient seemed to have emerged from death’s door to raise his head.

 

I’ve had this print, of a big cat leaning into the blonde since the 90s and it is exactly the way Babylon would always sit with me .  Note the cat’s paws wrapped around her hand.  Babylon would lean deep into me as if to become one with me.  He would often reach up and stroke my face, gently with his polydactyl paws.  He did the same with Howie, but no one else.

 

 

History:  Babylon had its last moment of fame under Nebuchadnezzar II. rule (605 – 562 BC), who aimed to force Egypt out of Palestina and Syria. He broke into Judah several times, seized Jerusalem and dragged local people off. But Nebuchadnezzar II had only weak successors and the empire declined gradually after his death, till Persian Cyrus conquered Babylon without fighting.

 

Babylonia was only a run-down province of Persia in half of the 4th century BC. When Alexander the Great defeated the Persians and came into the city in 331 BC, he was welcomed as a liberator. Alexander the Great died there on June 13th, 323 BC.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

At 08:05 AM 12/5/2003 -0500, I wrote:

 

Dear Howie:  I don t know what I was thinking.  I am so accustomed to people asking me what to do and telling them that when you come to me with stuff about Costa Rica I just automatically launch into that mode.

 

Everything that has happened in Costa Rica since I met you has been the result of your work.  I had emotionally written off the investment there a long time ago.  I trust your judgment and there is no need for me to be involved in the decisions.  If it helps to say things out loud just for you to get a better grasp on them, but don t forget to remind me that I am just a sounding board and it s not necessary for me to call the shots.  Thank you for ALL that you do.  You are my life s greatest blessing. - Carole 

 

Howie wrote:  It really helps to discuss it.  When I get to a point where my gut is telling me strongly what to do, which I only did after our discussion, I generally feel pretty confident.  But when I don't get that feeling, it particularly helps to discuss, and if I still cannot reach that feeling, to go with someone else's judgment.  I think you and I have evolved a very good process for discussing and making decisions.  You are so easy to discuss and work with.  I think we make a good team in so many ways, albeit somewhat of an "odd couple" in terms of traits and backgrounds. :-) - Howie

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Mom Says I Picked a Wonderful Man to Marry

My mother called when she got in from N.C. yesterday and asked if I was still engaged. (3 whole days later) and this was Howie’s emailed response to her:

 

“Regarding your question "are you still engaged", I need to ask "are you still married?".  If you are now available, I can still call this off!”

 

At 02:25 PM 11/5/2003 -0500, BarJean Stairs wrote:

 

I called and had your card activated.  You may remove the sticker and sign the back.  Congratulations on your engagement.  You certainly picked a wonderful person!  But I'm not prejudiced.  I can't think of a better suited person for our daughter.  You have a lot in common but yet are very different at the same time - a good complement to each other. Love, BarJean

 

Howie’s letter to former Governor candidate Bill McBride

Bill, thanks for you note.  So glad to hear you are back in the saddle!  You asked about Big Cat Rescue.  It is part of some pretty dramatic changes in my life since we last talked.  Nov. 1 last year I met a wonderful lady.  Her name is Carole Lewis and she is the founder of what has been known as WildLife On Easy Street.  It is a 42 acre non-profit big cat sanctuary across from Citrus Park Mall.  It houses 170 big cats (as in tigers, lions, bobcats, leopards, cougars etc.) that have either been abused, abandoned, retired from performing acts, or saved from being turned into fur coats.

 

Carole and I started dating and I became totally captivated by both her and by this cause.  This past weekend, on the first anniversary of our meeting, Carole and I became engaged.  This is a first for me at this advanced age, so even more exciting than it might otherwise have been.

 

Meantime, my days of relaxed, leisurely semi-retirement have ended big time.  I'm now serving as Chairman of the Advisory Board for the sanctuary and working as hard as I ever have.   The care of the cats at the sanctuary is absolutely first rate, but there are many aspects of the business end of this that need a lot of work to insure the long term survival.  It is turning into a demanding but very fun challenge.  One small step is that we are changing the name of the sanctuary to Big Cat Rescue to get better awareness.  The website is www.BigCatRescue.org if you care to peek.

 

I'd love to give you a private tour of the place if you have any interest.  It is a totally different experience from a zoo or amusement park.  Here you literally get to stand three feet from an 800 pound tiger.  Maybe we could do that one day and grab lunch and catch up?  Or, for years I have heard the Koenig’s speak so fondly and highly of Alex (Sink), but have never met her.  Is this something she might enjoy?  If so, what I have done with a number of friends is do a late afternoon tour, like 4:30-6:00, and then grab dinner at Caffe Amaretto.  I'd love to have you meet Carole, and if Alex would like to see the sanctuary would very much enjoy meeting her.

 

Anyway, that's pretty much the news at my end.  Below is picture of Carole from our recent annual fund raiser dinner and auction.  The attire was rather whimsical, part formal and part safari, hence the shorts.  Again, really glad to hear your recovery went well.  Look forward to catching up with you whenever you can. - Howie

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You c