Carole Baskins Diary

Howie Says We Should Just Enjoy the Ride

 

At the risk of sounding like I am trying to justify my existence (forgive me, but I am only a few pages into your book)  I want to clarify something I said last night.  The desire to do so comes more from my need to treat others as I would want to be treated and as I thought of your response I was left thinking that I would hate to believe that I was merely a "toy" to you.

 

When I said "you are so much fun to play with" I meant that as in such a fun play mate.  I often say, "I was never a child" and what I mean is that I didn't play and did not enjoy the company of children.  I preferred to be out mowing lawns, washing trailers and later working in family businesses.  (In retrospect, justifying my existence)  Being with you is the closest thing to playing I have experienced because you are so easy and enjoyable to be with.

 

Perhaps this has a great deal to do with the anxiety that I associate with our visits.  I am doing something that I have never done and don't know how to do.  I have to do everything that I embark on better than it's ever been done before or I won't attempt it.  I am totally out of my element in the presence of a man that doesn't need me to fix him, support him or otherwise cure him of his emotional trauma.

 

If I had ever learned to play, this might be like a second childhood to me and come back as proverbially easily as riding a bike, but it's my first time around and I don't know what I am doing.  When you took my statement to refer to you as a toy, it was easier to agree and roll with it, than to try and verbalize all of this.  You are much more than a toy... although from a merely sexual standpoint, I couldn't have designed one better.

 

22 Dec 2002 16:02:05 -0500

 

The "toy" comment was just humor - gotta watch out sometimes for my dry wit.

 

And as far as you being "merely a toy" to me, I hope and think you know from our discussion of similar values that I would not treat you or anyone else as a "toy".  But as I've urged previously that we keep in mind, we also cannot predict the future.  I've tried to recommend just enjoying the process of getting to know each other, treasuring the moments we find enjoyable with each other because that is something no one can ever take away, and not creating expectations about the future, at least at this point.  I think the latter just does no good, and creates stress and interferes with enjoying the moment.

 

Re your comfort level visiting, ok, ok, you win - I'll come up with something you can fix so you can feel at ease and stop stressing about visiting.  I'll develop a nervous tick or something.

 

Seriously, I don't think any of us gets to this point without baggage, and I certainly have mine.  I just don't expect you to fix any of it.  I think people who care about us can provide comfort at times, maybe advice at others, but ultimately we each need to face our own demons.  Can be scary.  But I think anyone who thinks someone else can do it for them is kidding themselves.

 

Not sure yet if I'll lug the laptop and be on email, but either way will talk to you end of week and we'll decide on our quiet, relaxing New Year's plan.  Meantime, have a nice holiday week!

 

And thanks again for the clever website.  Totally cool surprise.

 

And to put you through the same intrigue that your "project" did me, I have a mystery for you.  It is easy to find items that capture a particular interest someone has.  But, when someone has multiple passionate interests, it is very difficult to find an item that can represent them all.  But, with diligence, I have done it.  Unfortunately it did not arrive in the mail by yesterday.  But be aware that I have, indeed, found it and should have it soon.  No acknowledgement will be made of any guesses.

 

Chow (redneck for ciao).

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will genera

Howie First Looks at the Business To See How He Can Help

 

Thank you for a most memorable evening.  I will never look at "cat toys" the same again.

 

At 07:59 AM 12/16/02 -0500, Carole wrote:

 

I was really pleased with the following figures.  I had to compile them for the Combined Federal Campaign renewal that I just did and thought they may be of interest to your friend, as it shows tremendous growth during a time when many non profits and for profits have failed.  The year is obvious.  The next number is the number of families that have actually visited WOES.  We only fill out one release form per family, and often if we recognize a person, we don't have them fill one out if they come back within 4 years.  Some people are there every month.   The dollar amount is the amount donated by the general public in each of those years.  For the years 1999, 2000, 2001 and 2002 there was one 10,000.00 donor in each year.  The next highest, one year was 7500.00 with everyone else below 2000.00.  That averages out to 89.00 per family.

 

1996         34            $32,280.99

1997       159            $97,848.20

1998      1683         $176,258.15

1999      3565         $189,456.21

2000      4271         $314,738.00

2001      4982         $322,249.00 due to 9/11

2002      4382         $400,012.00

 

We are in the black by about 800.00 for 2002 for the very first time.  Each figure below represents how deep in the red we were for each corresponding year.

 

1995   164,290.09   loss

1996   154,254.01   loss

1997   149,094.80   loss

1998   222,373.80   loss

1999   101,556.50   loss

2000   281,524.00   loss

2001     34,778.00   loss

2002                           800.00 profit

 

As you can imagine, I am just ecstatic.  I have to donate 125,000 to 150,000 every year for tax purposes, but now that means that the money I put in can go into expanding our programs and doing so much more good than just supporting the animals that I have already taken responsibility for.  I expect 2003 to be a terrific year for promoting compassion in our community.

 

Our supporters come from all over.

 

Total number of  families  19,076

From Tampa   4276

From FL, but outside Tampa  9268

U.S. outside FL   5286

Outside U.S.  246

 

 

 

The more I learn about your life the more in awe I am of the struggles you have endured.  Like your cats, you are a survivor, maybe against the odds given what you have had to handle.

 

This is excellent!  Do you happen to have a way to easily know how much of the donations were from attendance, i.e. people donating when they visit, versus ones like the $10k that people send in unrelated to a visit?

 

No.  We have a cash box that gets counted down every week, but no breakdown between tours, gift shop items, etc.  We began keeping inventory records this year, so that we can go backwards to calculate the value of things "sold" (we call it a donation, so the prices vary).  This still doesn't help with knowing much about where the income is from.  Jamie was able to track 90k this year from gift shops "sales" and adoptions and memberships.  Jess is working on creating some software for us to help.  Blackbaud charges 10k for their program.  Tracking this information would help us and is on the short list of things to do.

 

I had the impression the sanctuary started 10 years ago?  Did it start in 96, or was there no visitor program or no records from before then?

 

We started in 1992 with the rescue mission, but didn't allow visitors until 1996.  Don was always dragging home people and showing off his collection and then one day someone said, "you know, you could charge for this"...

 

We were writing it off our taxes each year and the IRS said we had to make it profitable or else become a legitimate non profit, so I applied in 1994 and was accepted in 1995.  It took me three times because I didn't know what I was doing.  We had virtually no volunteers prior to 1995.  Don, Jamie and I took care of feeding, cleaning and vet care for ove

20 Questions of Howie and His Answers

 

I sent a list of questions and below are the questions and the answers.

 

This seems to be the first email back from Howie that I have found.  

 

I think it is clear that we are both good people.  I think that is less surprising to me than to you because, based on what you tell me, I have been more fortunate in finding good people over the years than you have.  If there has been one blessing above all others in my life, it has been the extraordinary number of wonderful people I count as friends.  And for the most part the women I have had romantic relationships with have also been good people.  You appear, unfortunately, to have less good fortune in this respect.  Like I said last night, it appears I have some very easy acts to follow.

 

Not sure what flutter is.  But it sure is nice to know that if I ever get stuck in a dumpster I can count on you to pull me out!

 

What both of us being good people means to me is that I think we can count on each other to deal with the other honestly. That is really all we can promise each other at this point.   The rest of getting to know someone simply takes time and there is no way to rush it.  We all tend to be on our best behavior with someone new.   I suggest not even thinking about "the stakes".   Just enjoy the process, count the happy minutes we give each other as something no one can ever take away, and we'll see where it leads.

 

At 06:25 PM 12/12/02 -0500, you wrote:

 

Thank you for taking the time to answer those for me.  It is almost done.  I was duly impressed with your answer to the question that I wanted to know.

 

The question I would like most to know is:  What is there about you that you think is your best, and yet least understood, quality?

 

In terms of a "quality", I'd like to think honesty, integrity, doing the "right thing". And to the extent it seems rather a rare thing, particularly in the business world, I guess it is not well understood by many people.

 

As I read it, I felt that same little flutter that I felt in anticipation of seeing you recently.  That is such a rare feeling for me, that it has stopped me cold in my tracks to contemplate it.  I think it is because it matters.

 

When I saw you superficially, as just another good looking man, I could take it or leave it and the outcome of any interaction with you didn't matter.  The more I discover about you, the more special and unique, I see you to be.  This raises the stakes and makes me more nervous.  It's not a bad thing, just new to me.  I am so glad to have this opportunity to get to know you.

 

 

If a child were to ask you:  

 

What is your favourite thing to do?

 

Tennis.   (Not a very exciting or romantic answer, like walk on the beach in moonlight, but it really is the thing I would most choose to do most of the time.)  Certain answers, of course, would not have been appropriate if asked "by a child".

 

What was your favourite movie?

LadyHawke.   (Now there IS a romantic answer)

 

What was your favourite book?

Tough contest between Shogun, Taipan (both James Clavell) and Atlas Shrugged.  If I had to choose one, probably Shogun.

 

What is your favourite food?

There is one dish at Cafe Amaretto that is my favorite,   It is a Veal Canneloni.  Normally I don't like veal, but this is a minced inside a canneloni.  Let's go there for dinner and I'll show you.  Not far from you, on Memorial just south of Hillsborough.

 

What is your favourite colour?

Teal, like that raincoat.

 

The question I would like most to know is:  What is there about you that you think

is your best, and yet least understood, quality?

In terms of a "quality", I'd like to think honesty, integrity, doing the "right thing".  And to the extent it seems rather a rare thing, particularly in the business world, I guess it is not well understood by many people.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their

At the risk of sounding paranoid, what's the catch?

10 Dec 2002 07:49:39 EST Subject: Finances To: Howie

 

You continue to amaze me.  I feel as if I have walked into someone else's life.  My life hasn't had men in it who could buy their own lunch.  I have two other emails I am answering right now, from others I am/was dating.  One I am, one I was.  One wants to know if I will give him 117,000.00 for no reason other than he wants it and the other wants a "loan" of 160,000.00 with no collateral.

 

I don't know how to behave around you.

 

You have a wonderful spirit, a beautiful and well endowed body (and you know how to use it), a great sense of humour and sensitivity, the ability to not only take care of yourself, but also the two "little people" who live with you, and a sharp business mind.  At the risk of sounding paranoid, what's the catch?

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Jamie Advises to Date Someone I Like

8 Dec 2002 12:28:21 EST Subject: remote viewing To: [email protected]

 

I don't mind you sharing this.  I only keep it to myself to protect others around me from embarrassment.

 

The first recollection I have of remote viewing was as about a 4 year old child.  My uncle was burning trash and caught the woods behind our house on fire.  It looked like the blaze was all around me and I can remember going above it, seeing it confined to just the wooded area, leaving plenty of room for escape, and thus not feeling panicked over it.  Years later I heard my mother describing the event and remembered thinking that I had a bird's eye view of it, but I was still young then and didn't think that strange.

 

When I was raped at 14 by two men at knife point, I purposely traveled outside of my body and hovered at the ceiling.  I did it to escape the fear, the pain and the feeling of not being able to breathe.  From that vantage point is where I first saw the third man, lurking in the shadows of the doorway that I couldn't see from where my body was on the floor.  In retrospect, who knows if my non verbal pleas to him to rescue me, were heard and acted upon, or if he just was afraid they would all be charged with murder if he didn't do something, but if he hadn't stepped in when he did, I would have bled to death.  He was much bigger, taller and stronger than the other two and I have always had a hero image connected to taller men, such as you.  My secret is out...

 

I still never thought of it as unusual and the phrase, "out of body experience" was common in the 70's so I just figured everyone did that.  I could often "see" things that were about to happen or around the corner or from a different perspective, but didn't see it as anything note worthy.  I left home at 15 and worked as many as three jobs at the same time to provide for myself and what ever jobless man I was supporting, so I never had time to read, never had friends to talk to and never gave it much consideration.

 

Some things you just know.  I knew the moment I conceived my daughter.  I knew her before she was born, and tried to prevent the birth, but some things are just meant to happen.  I believe that everyone is born with that sixth sense, but we have the notion beaten out of us by a society that thinks it "weird".  From the beginning I have tried to instill in her a belief in herself and in her ability to sense the truth.  She is far more capable than I and once picked all 10 or 12 horses in Hialeah.  Unfortunately, no one paid any attention to her until about the third race from the end, when she casually commented that 3 more and she would have picked them all.  When I looked at her program, she had already marked all of the winners.  I don't gamble, but was with a man who made a lot of money on those last three races.  She quickly became a favourite of all the old timers at the track.

 

Her ability to communicate with the cats is even more phenomenal than mine.  You can see it in her photography.  The day the serval escaped, her first words to me were, "I went to feed Pharaoh, and I couldn't feel him there."

 

I didn't tell you the whole story of viewing him, because I didn't want to freak you out, but this is from my journal:  It began from something that I have been doing with the cats when I am out driving around.  I visualize them, approach and hold them.  I stroke their fur and mentally talk to them about what their life experience is like.  I found it very helpful with some of the sick cats and it comforted me, if nothing else.  When trying to locate Pharaoh, I polled the cats around his cage, from a distance of about 1.5 miles.  Scratch, the cougar and Zza Zza, the ocelot have the best view of his cage and I started with them.  Scratch wasn't talking and Zza Zza said she knew and wasn't telling.  I tried Jumanji, the leopard and as he was excitedly telling me that Pharaoh had climbed out and the path he had take

I Promise Not To Say Anything Weird

7 Dec 2002 10:17:05 EST Subject: A Normal Day To: [email protected]

 

Got the clothing advisory.  Thanks.  I hope it's warmer where you are.

 

I put a heating pad in the box for the cat and she won't come out.  My daughter and her boyfriend, Daniel, are always saying that I should be the subject of real T.V. because I am always doing something weird.  In hanging a carrier from the ceiling for Maya, I was up on a ladder and couldn't get the door off.  Using strength over wit, I jerked the door loose and smacked myself in the mouth with it hard enough to knock myself off the ladder.  I cut my lip, but it's healing fast.  The cat laughed so hard, I thought she'd bust a gut.  Never a dull moment.

 

Thursday night I got one of those calls from my daughter that made me want to tell you how much grey hair, or loss of hair, you have spared yourself in never siring offspring.  I could never fathom the horror that is felt by a parent if not for her and her equally stressful life.  I see from the caller ID that it's her, which always stops my heart mid beat in anticipation of some disaster.  Her shaking voice, just screams Mom!  (like it is her dying cry for help) then sobbing wildly she is trying to tell me something, but because she is crying so hard, I can't understand a word.  I am out the door and in the truck without even knowing where I am going or why.

 

I finally catch enough words to know that one of the cats she raised (Pharaoh, the white Serval) didn't show up for dinner and she can't find him in his cage.  We had been offered 75,000.00 for him because he is one of only 3 in the world, and all three live with us.  I told her to gather the troops and comb the cage, which was already being done, and that I would be there in 5 minutes.  I had learned

remote viewing in the breathwork session and as I was turning off Sheldon onto Citrus Park Blvd., I could "see" the cat heading toward the North wall from Jason's yard.  By the time I was clear on his location, I was flying down Easy Street and called Jamie to tell her to move the human comb to the North wall and head South through the brush.  She answered the phone and said they had him

surrounded in exactly the location I had "seen" him in.  We closed the circle of volunteers, staff and family around him and Jamie and Daniel went in with a blanket.  We stood in the freezing, pouring rain until the cat decided it would be better to be under the blanket, than free and wet.

 

Like most of our recoveries it was pretty anti climatic.  People always ask me, "What is a normal day like for you?"  Jamie's answer to that is, "All I want is just ONE NORMAL day."

 

8 Dec 2002 08:00:10 EST Subject: Re: A Normal Day To: [email protected]

 

I have a VIP tour Monday afternoon with a woman I am wooing from MOSI, but should be done by 5PM.  After that, I would love to see you.

 

The holographic theory states that when something "ironic" happens three times in quick succession, it is a rip in the fabric that allows you to see that there are several realities happening at the same time and you are choosing between them.  Cats are a great medium for remote viewing and they will enjoy the interaction.  Go out on your porch and mentally talk to one of your cats.  Tell

them what you are doing and that you want to look around the room they are in, through their eyes.  Then go find them and see if you were seeing the same room.  With practice you can even walk around inside them and feel what it is like to be a cat.  This has helped me to diagnose mine who were sick.  I am new to this in just the past year.  If it is all just a matter of coincidence (a word I don't

believe in) then it is at least a creative exercise that leaves you feeling a little more connected.

 

I promise I won't talk weird in front of people I don't know, unless they broach the subject and I can tell that they understand.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the m

Gentle Giant

Carole writes Howie:  The horse's name is Made To Order but everyone calls HER buttercup because of her butterscotch colour.  I would be happy to introduce you.  She will probably be thrilled to meet a horse person, since she is surrounded by cat people.

 

I am sorry, for your sake, to hear the tour was so full.  I called ahead and asked them to give you a private tour if possible so that Erik would have more attention focused on him, and to impress you, of course.  Jamie said it would be done, but I am sure they had no expectation of 30 people for that tour.  Usually holidays are slow.  Any time you want a private tour, even if it is for your friends or the kids you help, just let me know.  I am happy to do it and there is no substitute for touring with me because of the reaction of the cats.  Many of those cats I rescued myself, or I was the first person who ever cared for them and they show it.  Whenever I am blue, all I have to do is walk around the refuge and my heart is just filled to the brim with all of the love they share.

Gentle Giant

A giant man in heart and soul

A bigger man you'd never find

Than this one that I've come to know

This one so rare and truly kind

 

His company's a joy to share

His speech is thoughtful in its scope

And causes me to dare believe

That in the human kind, there's hope

 

His life has been an uphill climb

That started in his tender youth

And yet it was these challenges

That led him to his inner truth

 

He knows the value of a life

Is measured in the love we give

And shared with many we don't know

In the example that we live

 

He makes a point to touch the hearts

Of those who pass along his way

Expecting nothing in return

An attitude of, Come what may?

 

His warm embrace enfolds me close

Before the glowing embers died

I've not a care outside his arms

And feel so fully satisfied

 

For Howie Baskin  By Carole Stairs Lewis  11/30/02

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Repeat Performance

Carole writes Howie:  Any chance of a repeat performance the 2nd or 3rd?  I really enjoyed getting to know you a little better and much more intimately.  I feel that even with as much as you shared with me that there is so much more depth to you left to discover.  I look forward to the expedition.  Life is so full of unexpected joys and you are one of the nicest ones I have experienced.

 

The dinner on the 11th sounds very interesting.  I am fascinated by the way people face adversity and overcome the odds.  Everyone has their own success story to share, but it is particularly inspiring to me to witness a turn around based on marketing as this is something I can put to practical use.  I put you on my calendar for the 11th.  Let me know about the 2nd or 3rd.  The next email will have our grant request done by the International Commerce Center in Word format.

 

I had a wonderful evening.  I can still feel you inside me.  It feels good.  - Carole

 

We had first made love on the floor in front of the fire and then carried the lovemaking upstairs to his bedroom.  Howie was living in an townhouse on Gandy Boulevard called Hawthorn Pond.  There was a beautiful little pond, surrounding a magnificent Banyan tree just off his wooden deck.  

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Howie’s First Email to Me

 

I can’t seem to find the email, but the gist of it was that Howie explained that he didn’t really cook the food (he bought it and put it in his pans to make it look like he did) and that he had decided his kitchen counter was so ugly he’d bought a new counter top, but that made the rest of the kitchen look even worse, so he’d given Mary Key his credit card and asked her to fix it.  She did the whole room in pink.  Howie swears it’s mauve.

 

He rocked back laughing about the assertion he was gay because for years he’d tell people that he had purposely trashed the house so people wouldn’t think he was gay, and it just so happened that the maid, Ning, was there the day before, so that’s why it was so clean.  The line that cracked me up was that he said one day it might be appropriate for him to demonstrate his sexual preference with me, but that he wasn’t going to do the same for my mother. 

 

 

I responded:  23 Nov 2002 09:28:42 EST Subject: email humour To: [email protected]

 

Actually the humour came across loud and clear in the email.  I almost sprayed coffee out my nose, I laughed so hard.  I would like to get to know you better.  You seem such a rarity.  No performance pressure here, just be yourself.

 

Despite my financial arrangement with Ringling, they know that I am actively against animals being used for entertainment.  We promote the concept of a circus without animals as being more humane and just as much fun, but I have never attended either.  Ringling has invited me to their opening show next year, so I really should see Quidam so that I have some point of reference.   

 

Cirque du Soleil:  As nice as that would be, it is hard to get to know someone in a theater.  My diet won't allow many extravagances such as last night ( I gained 3 pounds ) as I eat 5 meals a day, but no salt, sugar nor fat, just to maintain a body that is still 20 pounds overweight.  Maybe I'll try that cake and ice cream diet you did so well on. ;-)  What I enjoy, more than anything else, is walking.  To walk with you on Bayshore, or the beach or virtually anywhere, while getting to know you, is my idea of the perfect date.  I hope your tennis match was fun today.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

First Email to Howie

22 Nov 2002 23:53:01 EST Subject: Thank you for a wonderful evening To: [email protected]

 

Dear Howie (is that how you call yourself?)

 

Thank you for a wonderful evening.  After you arranged the private, candle lit dinner in the Florida Aquarium, I did not think it possible that you could improve on such a gesture.  I was wrong.   Tonight exceeded the backdrop of the rare tropical fish.  The setting, the food and especially the company were incomparable.  Chez Baskin's is the finest in elegance and ambiance the city has to offer.  There is nothing more calming than the water.

 

I feel like I bolted out of your home and wanted you to know that I just don't know anything about dating.  I've been married since I was 17 and this is the first time in my life that I have been going out with men socially.  My mother was even musing over it this morning and saying that she had never experienced me having fun and couldn't believe how old I was before getting around to it.  She

also persuaded me not to take tonight seriously, because I had described you as being good looking, funny, single, a cat owner and that you were cooking a meal tonight.  She said if I walked in and saw that your home was clean and well decorated then I could be sure that you were gay and that I was just there to convince your friends that you were not.  All evening, I had a wonderful time, even based upon the supposition that she must be right because your home was impeccably furnished and spotlessly clean.  I didn't want to make you uncomfortable with wondering how on earth you were going to get this woman out of your house, so I bolted.

 

Three things I noticed in your conversation that really impressed me and when your eulogy is being written, I want to be sure they are added to the Mary-and-her-cat-in-the-middle-of-the-night story.  The first was that even after you had invested so much of your time and energy into renaming the street, that you chose not to take advantage of the majority being in your favour, so as to not upset the few who opposed.  Most people could have reasoned that away any number of ways, but you put others ahead of your own desires.   

 

The second was that you sold your home to satisfy a debt after an investment didn't pan out.  In my business and in the work I do for WOES I see so much irresponsibility and it is encouraged by society rather than exposed for the self centeredness it represents.  You had lots of options at your command that required no sacrifice on your part, and yet, you chose to do the right thing.  

 

The third was the kindness that you show to your elderly neighbors, from listening to them to escorting them.  I could tell from all the details that you shared with us tonight that you had really listened to these people and had given them a part of you that I am sure they hold very dear.  There were many other nuances such as the way you described the horse's hesitation or the cat's aversion to fur in the water, that tell me you are very observant of the world around you and that you are moving with it in a manner that causes no harm and brings much joy.

 

You truly are a special person and I am glad to have met you. - Carole

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

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