Cat Noir Comedy Podcast

With the butterflies disgruntled and woodlice chomping on the floorboards, Stargazers Bundy and Ted

hope for more promising answers from the return of Tim the ladybird. Meanwhile, elsewhere,

the greenfly don’t seem too happy. Part 3 of a 4 part story.

Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Following multiple announcements, Geoff the Baker’s new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake

pie has attracted a lot of attention from the media and hospitals.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With a whole new perspective of the observatory floor, stargazers Bundy and Ted meet some of the wildlife

and learn what they really think about humans. Part 2 of a 4 part story.

Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker proudly announces that his new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pie is now available.

Come to think of it, the first announcement last week probably wasn’t required.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stargazers Bundy and Ted are in for a fun surprise at the hands of a strange new mystery parcel, which comes complete with incredibly vague instructions.

Part 1 of a 4 part story.

Written, performed, produced, directed, and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker proudly announces an upcoming announcement about a new four layer triple chocolate éclair cheesecake pie.

Stay tuned for further announcements.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Cat Noir Comedy Podcast Season 8.

The weekly season.

Join us every 7 days for 12 weeks of fun.

Bundy I shrunk the Ted 1

Bundy I shrunk the Ted 2

Bundy I shrunk the Ted 3

Bundy I shrunk the Ted 4

Home under the hammer

Dates are not the only fruit

War of the Whelks (Part One)

War of the Whelks (Part Two)

Revenge of the Whelks

Public Domain

The Knowing Wink of Podcast Zero

Patrick MacNee's Missing TV

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Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast.

Follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters, born from sketches but forged in the stories we tell.

There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Don't mind Geoff the Baker he's just socially awkward.

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www.catnoircomedypodcast.org.uk

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Announcement: Cat Noir will be releasing 12 episodes weekly from Feb 2026 and then again later in the year.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. 

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. 

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker is up to something.

See you for Season 8 in 2026.

K: Right then. Please tell me you’ve got a complete script ready, Matt, cos I’ve been flat out busy lately and, although I’m writing several at once, I’ve not got a full episode done for tonight.

M: Oh-oh.

K: So, I’m hoping you’ve got one ready for us to record.

M [sheepish]: Aaaahhh…

K: That sound does not fill me with confidence.

M [sheepish]: Errrrmmmm…

K: Neither does that one… Have you got a script ready?

M [confidently]: Of course I have, Kev! This one’s called… The… Curse… of the Missing… Kit Kat…

K [not convinced]: Uh-huh… And… could this have anything to do with the Kit Kat that’s currently sat next to your microphone?

M: Yikes. Wait… Hang on…

M: [chomping and swallowing noises] …What Kit Kat, Kev?

K: And that’s it, is it? That’s your script?

M: Yeah, Sorry… I’ve been flat out busy too though, what with all the what what and the what.

K: I know what you mean. It’s the same for me to be to be fair, to be sure, at the end of the day, do me a favour.

M: Precisely.

K: What are we going to do then?

M: Relax, Kev. I’ve got this covered.

K; And how exactly will you do that?

M: I’ve brought a friend with me.

K: You mean the tall lean silent gentleman sitting beside you?

M: I do!

K: I see. And who is this?

M: This, Kev, is Humphrey. He’s a Hollywood trained improvisation script writer and multi-talented voiceover artist.

K [excited]: Wait… really?

M: Yep. I thought he could create a new story right now, and you and I can join in along the way with other voices.

K [happy]: Matt, that’s brilliant! I’d love to improvise an episode! Nice to meet you, Humphrey. Welcome to Cat Noir. Let me get you a microphone…

K: The stage is yours, Humphrey. Why don’t you guide us into a brand new story…

[a few seconds of silence]

K [prompting]: …Humphrey…

[a few seconds of silence]

M: Oh yeah. I forgot to say… he’s non-verbal.

K: He’s what?

M: Non-verbal, Kev. It means he doesn’t speak.

K: I know what non-verbal means! That’s not the part I’m struggling with… I thought you said he was a voiceover artist?

M [realising]: Oh yeah… Doesn’t make much sense, come to think of it…

K [examining Humphrey]: Hang on… There’s something else wrong with this picture too…

M [panicky]: Errrr… what do you mean?

K: Well, Matt… Upon closer inspection… Humphrey’s not even an actual person… This is an upside down broom with a pair of googly eyes taped to the bristles…

M [rumbled]: It is, Kev; yeah. You’re absolutely right… I said I’ve been busy.

K: Well, don’t worry. I think I’ve just thought up a plan that might get us through this.

M: Have you? What’s that then?

K: What about if we took a short break?

M: But I’ve already eaten my Kit Kat.

K: No, Matt. I mean, instead of our previous formats of once a fortnight and then once a month, what about if we did seasons?

M: You mean like the weather?

K: I mean more like television, where episodes are played closer together, but with gaps between each season.

M: Hmmm… Sounds like a lot of writing still, Kev. What with the what what and all the what what.

K: That’s true. The what and the what certainly do take up an awful lot of time, what what.

M: It’s how we’re in this pickle to begin with.

K: Okay... We could make the episodes slightly shorter.

M: What, you mean like a smaller portion size, but a more frequent delivery.

K: Exactly. I’m glad you understand.

M: I understand it perfectly. In fact, smaller but more frequently is how I’m doing pizza these days.

Listen on...

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The four survivors of Flight 935 have been saved, but at what cost.

As a devious plot to restart a chocolate empire puts Insert and Agatha in danger, Danny and Warren are forced to complete a dangerous mission in the heart of occupied Herring territory and not everyone is getting out alive.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is interesting.

Sorry, he advises he actually said he is "into resting" and is off for a nap.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The four survivors of flight 935 have been stranded on the island again, but this time it won't be for long. 

After covering themselves in feathers to keep cool, Warren's past catches up with him and Insert and Agatha are kidnapped by a birdwatcher. 

Danny just wants to get home and put his feet up.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker reports he has Pteronophobia.

That's a fear of feathers. Yes, I had to google it too. 

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Celebrity chef Honk Romsey and his team randomly pitch up at Kev’s house to record an episode

of his hit kitchen television show.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. 

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. 

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker doesn’t believe in doughballs.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today we join Keith and Chris on the frontline of a training session all about the complexities of safely managing risk in the workplace. Participation is mandatory.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. 

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. 

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker won’t be appearing in this episode due to bakery reasons.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join Dale Alan for the once in a lifetime opportunity to interview Hollywood actor and all round legend Brian Breynolds

on a specially extended episode of Digging Deeper. Brian’s not actually here yet, though he’s definitely on his way.

Luckily, someone else is keen to fill in for him, and she swears she has a story to tell.

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to some elephants placing a massive order of iced buns.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. 

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. 

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

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This episode is dedicated to our college tutor Jeffrey Holmes who taught us everything we needed to know about acting and more. R.I.P Jeff.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. There will be action, adventure, drama, high and low stakes with huge doses of comedy. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade. #BritishComedy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.