FAQs About Biblical Marriages
Teacher: Apostle Emmanuel Iren
📌 Does God choose spouses for people?
🔸As a person, you are to ensure that the fundamental principles that a marriage should be hinged on are still present. For instance, the other person should choose you, and be attracted to you. It takes more than a divine choice for a marriage to work.
📌 When you get a divine leading that seems to contradict moral order, it’s normal to ask “How shall these things be?”
🔸 That’s the difference between Zechariah and Mary.
They both asked the same question, but Zechariah was married so he was supposed to be expecting a child because they had prayed for one. So his asking the Angel was a sign of unbelief.
Mary on the other hand was not married yet so it was okay for her to ask the question.
📌 Beware of manipulation.
Many people try to manipulate other people who may not be on their social level by subscribing to a higher power.
🔸 In Hosea 3: 1, we see that God instructed Hosea to love his wife, rather than being dictatorial. This means that there is a need to establish friendship and love.
📌 Being married to a Christian spouse doesn’t take away the hard work in marriage. Anointed people can quarrel, hence the reason you need to end up with an emotionally mature person. Don’t allow people to use God as an excuse to abuse you.
📌 “God said” does not take away the hard work of marriage. It doesn’t make it any easier. In Acts 13: 2- we see that even though it was the Holy Ghost that separated Paul and Barnabas, they had a fallout and the contention was sharp.
📌 How did the man realize that he needed a help meet?
In the process of naming the animals, Adam knew he needed a help meet. He named each animal, male and female, and then Adam realized there was no second of his kind.
🔸 God knows how to lead us in a way that we realize that what we want for ourselves is what he wants for us.
📌 Can a Pastor choose for you?
🔸 On the authority of God’s word, a pastor can tell you who to not marry, but for key decisions in your life, you need to learn to hear God for yourself.
📌 On confirmation
In a family, God doesn’t speak to only you when it comes to decisions that will affect everyone in a family. There’s every biblical justification to seek confirmation from the Word. The same angel that spoke to Mary, spoke to Joseph as well.
🔸 You’re allowed to ask for clarifications when you don’t understand because God is dependable when it comes to communication. He is faithful.
📌 How then do I choose the right spouse?
Proverbs 31 wasn’t written to women. It was directed to a man to teach him to know how to choose. As a man, this is who you should choose, and as a woman, this is the kind of wife you should be:
🔸 A woman who knows how to watch her words - Proverbs 31:26.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” A woman or ma who is brash with her/his words will not be beautiful or handsome to you. As a woman, you should learn to regulate your emotions.
🔸 Loyalty - Proberbs31:11 “The heart of her husband safely trusts her.” As a woman, no man should observe you and think he can easily get in between your relationship. Even if you respect many men, prioritize your partner.
🔸 A homemaker - Proverbs 31:21 “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.” Don’t delegate everything to a house help as a mother. Get to know your children and spend time with your family.
🔸 An industrious woman - Proverbs 31:16 “She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.”
And to the men, don’t embrace all the perks of leadership, without sacrifice. Proverbs 31:23
Only a good man will get a Proverbs 31 woman.
