"Transformation isn’t
a destination you reach.
It’s the courage to
face your fears,
love yourself through them,
and grow beyond the walls
you once thought
would protect you."
Glenn S. Cohen
@CenterForNI
When you scroll through social media, you’ll find endless ads and posts promising "magic potions" and "miracle processes" that guarantee radical transformation. Seeing the word "transformation" so often and experiencing this process for myself these past few years and especially the last 6 months, inspired me to dive deeper into what this concept really means.
I started where most journeys begin these days: I Googled it. Definition of transformation: "A complete change in the appearance or character of something or someone, especially so that the person or thing is improved." I found this definition interesting, but I’ll be honest , I don't believe in the idea of a "complete" change. In my experience, inner work is never truly complete. It's an ongoing journey, not a destination.
Transformation, as I see it, isn’t about checking a box or reaching some final form. It's an evolving process, one that unfolds over time. It isn’t measured by anyone else's standards, and can only be truly assessed by you.
True transformation usually starts when someone close to you triggers something unresolved inside you, a hidden wound that causes just enough pain to force a choice: stay the same, or go within to heal and grow. If you choose to follow the path of healing and growth, you shift something you intuitively knew needed attention but weren’t yet ready to own and mindfully, with intention do your inner work.
In Neurological Intelligence, we regard our nervous system as an amazing sensory data supercomputer carrying energy and information between neurons. One of our foundational principles is this: many of the limiting beliefs embodied in our unconscious mind were adopted early in life. They served as survival mechanisms, designed to protect us from perceived danger (real or imagined). But as adults, these unconscious, limiting beliefs keep us trapped, stuck behind invisible walls, holding us back from our true potential.
Most of us are “walking wounded" humans clinging to our comfort zones and guarding them with thick layers of protective patterns. These protections are often wrapped in the stories we tell ourselves, backed by judgments we place on ourselves and others. This autopilot programming shields the unresolved wounds containing the painful emotions and limiting beliefs we never realized were running the show.
And here’s the kicker: Your comfort zone, that "safe" place, is actually the worst, most toxic place to stay. Because you can't grow there. There’s a boundary, a line in the sand, and the only way to expand your life is to have the courage to cross it. Nature teaches us a simple law: you're either expanding or contracting. There’s no standing still.
Real transformation happens when you face your fears with non-judgmental compassion and loving kindness.
· You lean into love, not fear.
· You use mindful breathing and intentional strategies to release the embedded painful emotions stuck in the tissues with patience, forgiveness and loving kindness
· You expand your comfort zone, using techniques with repetition to transform your limiting beliefs into limitless possibilities.
· You mindfully choose the language of certainty that absolutely nothing is beyond your capacity to achieve when you align with the gift you were born to share.
Here’s a simple roadmap when you feel triggered, reactive, or stuck inside your protective patterns:
1. Pause: Breathe and then notice the activation and sensations you are feeling in your body.
2. Say to yourself: “Hmmm, this is really interesting. I’m so grateful for this moment.”
3. Ask: “What new empowered meaning can I choose to assign to reframe my perception?”
4. Reflect: “What lesson or gift is this trigger trying to reveal and teach me?”
5. Choose: “What conscious, empowered choice can I make right now to stay present, non-judgmental while being open and flexible?”
6. Action: “What can I give to myself and others that honors me and my new path.”
The true mystery of transformation is that it’s not some complex, mystical secret. It’s found in the simple practices of Neurological Intelligence: becoming aware of your humanity, healing your nervous system, and choosing to grow into the next, best version of yourself, with loving kindness for yourself and the people you love.
Transformation is like stepping barefoot onto soft earth after years of walking on a concrete path, every step feels uncertain, but it's exactly where real growth and life can finally take root. So, When you feel the edges of your comfort zone pressing in, what helps you take that first courageous step beyond it?
If this resonates with you, feel free to DM me. I’d love to hear from you. If you are interested in working together, send me an email from the Request Initial Interview page on my website. I also invite you to subscribe to my Apple or Spotify Podcast and sign up for my Substack blog on my website (scroll to the bottom of the home page.) Thank you for letting me share some of my lessons of life and love.
Wishing You a Safe and Peaceful Journey,
Sending Big Hugs and Lots of Love,
Glenn 🙏🌻
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