Archie takes a blood oath to Hiram, Jughead finally figured out what the Lodges evil plan is, and we quote “We could’ve had a real good life, Archie’s Dad” 7 times.

It’s the Love Simon episode!!! Cheryl and Toni go on their first date to Love Simon, Kevin goes to this gay rom-com (Love Simon) alone, and the rest of the gang has a romantic weekend at Lodge Lodge (to avoid having to watch Love Simon).

Betty hides a body, Archie shows unreasonable loyalty and Fred may or may not have been using undocumented Canadian workers this whole time?

Allison and Evan discuss Veronica’s confirmation, Catholicism, Cole Sprouse’s acting, and icon Papa Poutine.

In this frankly iconic episode, Allison and Evan discuss homoerotic wrestling, if Chic is hot or not, and the fact that Hiram Lodge has definitely suffered from Kinsey 2 allegations.

In this episode, Allison and Evan react to Southside High shutting down, Betty finding her long lost brother, and explain why Veronica and Archie are actually soulmates.

In this episode, Allison and Evan discuss

Jughead skinning a woman, the Barchie kiss and the black hood getting caught!

Allison and Evan discuss one of the most insane episodes of Riverdale (yes, the one where Betty strips to Mad World).

Allison and Evan discuss one of the best Jarchie plotlines, Cheryl’s problematic behavior, and why you should always trust your women’s intuition.

In a frankly chaotic episode, Allison and Evan discuss the sugarman, FP’s return, and the ethics of street racing.