Alison tweaked her neck and is on drugs so Greg has offered to carry her for this show, just like the footprints in the sand story. Greg performed in front of a masked crowd and was rattled by the lack of audience feedback. Everyone is tapping everything into the universe and Greg is asking how long we all want to live. We also talk about the best board games for kids, how to increase confidence, fresh clean dogs and butt stuff.

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Greg visits Texas and goes on the Joe Rogan podcast and Alison has a Covid scare. A study says maybe it isn't so bad for kids to be obsessed with princess culture. Just because Mila and Ashton aren't bathing their children that doesn't mean you shouldn't. Greg claims he doesn't smell and he thinks Alison might Canadian? Plus, when should you have the birds and the bees discussion?

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The Fitzdogs got family tattoos and now Greg and Erin are going on a camping trip and leaving their adultish children home alone for the first time. What's the worst that could happen? Meanwhile Elliot took his own piggy bank money to Target and used some of it to buy a gift for O-2! A study conclusively shows spanking is detrimental and Chicago Public Schools are making condoms available to students as young as fifth grade. A caller's daughter told a bald-faced-or-is-it-bold-faced lie and another caller needs to feel it.

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Seventeen minutes of strength training has nearly killed Alison but still, she wants to fight Greg's former producer. Greg met a celebrity who had a huge influence on his comedy and then did beer bongs with his niece and her friends (he did not partake). Plus pediatric cavities, high school biology, the fourth of July, twin sister surrogacy and more.

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Greg gets breakfast in bed and Alison is embarrassed by an off color remark. Alison guesses the top names of babies in 2020. Spoiler alert: Donald and Melania are no longer number one. Greg also gushes about playing golf with legendary Joe Pesci and Alison laments losing her voice during a VO session.

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Greg ate an entire lobster dinner in the back of a Lyft and still maintains a perfect score and yet Alison has been nothing but delightful and has a 4.9? What is the meaning of this? We explore this injustice before delving into stories involving children stealing their parents' cars and how to talk to teenagers. Plus JoJo's prom, Alison's voice, whether Greg is "funny," codependency and more. And your voicemails and emails.

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O1 is back home and Greg's shaving his balls outside. Alison went to Disneyland and we compare notes about our respective Mother's Days. Ever look at something online and instead of envy you experience the opposite? Relief that you aren't doing what's being pictured? Alison experiences intense GIMO (Glad I'm Missing Out) when she sees people post tour dates. Greg agrees the logistics of travel suck ass, which is why he only flies via private, first class, or coach. Plus your lullabies and a 13 year old who's allowed to watch Law and Order: SVU.

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A big fan of the show writes in and calls Alison a honking seal and a snake that's eating its own tail. How can it be both? Plus a baby is born on a Hawaiian flight by a mother who didn't know she was pregnant.

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A new study shows that "masculine" fathers are more effective in parenting their young children. And drumroll please... after a WEEK, Owen2 finally drops a deuce.

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Greg's low once again annihilates Alison's. She waltzed right into it! Plus Facebook mama drama, a baby monitor that picks up Scottish porn, Greg crashing his sister's car and whether birth order affects personality.

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