Choosing to Heal with Monica Leigh

Ever since I started sharing more about my co-parenting journey with my ex-husband online, lots of comments and assumptions have been shared, both good and bad, but mostly bad. It blew people’s minds how I’m able to sit down at the same dinner table and still have an amicable relationship with him, then we shouldn’t have gotten a divorce.

“You couldn't put your egos aside when you were married, but now you can.” 

“If this is so perfect, then why didn't you just stay together?”

“Genuinely curious if you get along so well, why divorce in the first place? I just don't get it.”

“If you can cordially communicate and be in each other's presence and have the ability to compromise like this why couldn't  you compromise on the thing that caused you to divorce in the first place?”

“If you get along this well after a divorce, then you shouldn't have gotten a divorce.”

Because here’s the thing: just because you get along well with someone doesn’t mean that you are meant to be in a romantic relationship with that person. Yes, you read that right. This is from someone who fought for her marriage for years.

So in this episode, let’s talk about some of the things I did to try to save my marriage and how I arrived at the decision to end it.

In this episode:

• 04:18 - My story of betrayal trauma
• 05:58 - How I kept myself in denial
• 08:39 - What are you motivated by when it comes to saving your marriage?
• 11:11 - A healthier way to advocate for yourself when saving your marriage
• 14:03 - When I realized my own role in the dysfunction of my marriage
• 14:28 - What happens when you let go of control
• 17:32 - Is it possible to divorce from a place of love and healing?
• 19:38 - The turning point of why I stopped trying to save my marriage

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Download my FREE Core Values Workbook 
• Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
• Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

If you have been in therapy for years but you feel stuck, this episode is for you. Have you heard the term “the body keeps score”? That is because trauma gets stored in our bodies, which is why it’s so important to incorporate a somatic approach to healing. You may understand WHY you are stuck cognitively, but you won’t experience true healing until you release the trauma somatically.

In this episode of the Choosing to Heal podcast, I talked with Maria Sellars, a dynamic Healing Arts Practitioner. We dive into different modalities like energy work & somatic therapy, what they are, and how they can help you heal.

In this episode:

• 03:42 - Discover the cheapest form of anti-depression
• 04:44 - Intro to other modalities: somatic therapy & energy work
• 07:21 - Why talk therapy alone isn’t enough
• 10:02 - How and why trauma is stored in the body
• 12:52 - How and why your body responds when you’re emotionally triggered
• 16:43 - How to heal at a body level & why it’s so important
• 22:05 - Simple ways to get started with vibrational, somatic, energy healing

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Join the Choosing To Heal Community HERE
• Full Show Notes HERE 

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

About our guest:

Maria Sellars is a dynamic Healing Arts Practitioner who has been studying movement and energy medicine for over 17 years. She is the owner of Heal. Pain & Stress Relief Center in the Orlando, Florida area. Her passion is helping people to light up their lives because she knows what it is like struggling and living in the dark. Maria’s approach to healing combines energy work, somatic inner child work and chakra balancing techniques to help people find clarity, peace and joy in their worlds. We all have the capability to heal our lives and Maria is here to walk alongside you as you grow along your journey.

Connect with Maria

Follow Maria on Instagram @orlandoenergyworker @whattheheal.podcast

www.mariasellars.com

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

Here’s the thing: you’re not a horrible person for unconsciously sabotaging your relationship. Your unhealthy habits have nothing to do with who you are as a person but it says everything about your past and what you’ve been through.

So in today’s episode, let’s take a hard look at the ways you may be self-sabotaging your relationship and the reasons why you may be doing this. Once you gain a deeper understanding as to why you may be doing these behaviors, you can do better and choose to heal. 

In this episode mp3:

• 01:58 - 8 ways you may be sabotaging your relationship
• 04:47 - The wounded beliefs that fuel your behavior
• 06:26 - Words to watch out for when you’re in conflict
• 08:57 - What you’re REALLY trying to communicate 
• 17:41 - How past trauma plays a huge role in how you act out
• 21:57 - Why it’s hard for your partner to respond when you react

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Get my FREE Triggered Masterclass 
• Listen to Episode 5: How to Respond, Not React
• Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
• Full Show Notes HERE  

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

It’s almost the start of a brand new year, and if you're like the rest of the world, you're probably starting to think about New Year's resolutions or things you want to do differently for 2024.

So in today's episode, I’ll walk you through the exercises we’re doing inside the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club to say goodbye to 2023 and prep for 2024 with intention so we can continue to heal and thrive.

In this episode:

• 01:46 - How to prep for the new year
• 03:11 - Why you need accountability partners
• 04:29 - Do this to trigger your 2023 memories
• 05:26 - Journal prompts to use for 2023 reflections
• 09:46 - A creative approach to gratitude
• 11:55 - Defining your word of the year
• 18:35 - How to break down goals into an actionable plan
• 23:05 - Decluttering for the new year

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Download my New Year Reset Workbook HERE
• Join the Choosing to Heal Book Community and Book Club for accountability and healing resources
• Full Show Notes HERE 

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

This time of year, you’ll see a lot of highlight reels. But let’s be real… a year doesn’t consist of ONLY GOOD. Consider this your dose of what a REALISTIC year can look like, balancing both the good and the hard! Choosing to heal is not a linear path and this year was no exception.

In this episode, I share my most impactful experiences from 2023: both highlights and lowlights.

In this episode:

• 02:40 - The biggest shock of the year
• 03:35 - Learning how to surrender the outcome
• 08:04 - Grieving unexpected loss
• 10:00 - Hidden everyday blessings
• 10:24 - The underrated benefit of being in a long-distance relationship
• 13:51 - How blended family is both a blessing and a struggle
• 17:01 - Biggest frustration in my healing journey so far
• 20:32 - Why I’m able to dive deeper into healing this year

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Get my FREE Triggered Masterclass
• Listen to Episode 7: Deciding To Divorce, Dating After Divorce & What Life Looks Like Now
• Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
• Full Show Notes HERE 

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

Should you do the work and heal unhealthy relationship patterns BEFORE entering a relationship OR can your partner help you heal? 

In this episode, I am debunking three common myths about healing in relationships because believing them can hold you back or make you think that your relationship is doomed when it's simply not the case. 

I'll be getting vulnerable and sharing some personal examples about areas that I'm still healing in my current relationship, as well as what is required from you and your partner if you want to have a relationship that facilitates growth and healing for you both.

In this episode:

• 02:20 - Why there’s no such thing as being “fully healed”
• 03:50 - The difference between a toxic relationship and a relationship that experiences rough patches
• 06:16 My personal struggle with conflict in my relationship
• 06:43 - How childhood trauma can manifest as an unhealthy coping mechanism in relationships
• 08:39 - The core step you need to take to stop attracting emotionally unavailable people
• 09:25 - Can your partner help you heal?

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Download my FREE Core Values Worksheet 
• Listen to Episode 23: Moving on Too Quickly? How To Tell If You’re Ready To Date Again
• Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
• Full Show Notes HERE 

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

One of my biggest fears about dating post-divorce was getting into a new relationship only to repeat the same patterns, leading to yet another failed relationship.

So is it true that if you move on too soon, you’re unhealthy and your new relationship is doomed to fail? Is staying single the only way to do the work and heal those relationship wounds? In this new episode, I’m sharing my opinion on dating after divorce and spoiler warning…it’s not a popular one.

In this episode:

• 01:11 - My personal story
• 02:14 - How I “tested” myself to see if I was truly ready to date again
• 06:42 - Unspoken societal stigma about how long one should wait to date again
• 08:52 - Staying single vs. dating right away
• 10:05 - My unpopular opinion about dating after divorce
• 12:55 - How healing your hurt with your former partner can contribute to your personal healing
• 16:17 - Questions to reflect on to see if you’re ready to look for a new healthy relationship
• 18:25 - Mindset shift for dating post-divorce
• 20:29 - Affirmations for dating post-divorce

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Get my FREE Core Values Worksheet HERE
• Full Show Notes HERE 

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Splitting time during the holidays, being alone, having your kids away…these are the things most divorced people expect to grieve over post-divorce. But what I didn’t expect to hit me like a ton of bricks was all these much more subtle and nuanced things that I didn’t even think could affect me but they did.

It's difficult to not have expectations on how the holiday is going to go when year after year it has looked and felt the same. In this episode, let’s talk about the things divorced people grieve people that aren’t really discussed.

In this episode:

• 01:27 - Longing over attachment to holiday traditions
• 06:20 - Grieving the relationships of your former extended family
• 13:42 - Navigating the balance of sharing grief with my partner while also protecting him
• 17:02 - Scripts for holding emotional boundaries
• 18:23 - Missing my stepkids
• 19:27 - The silver lining in dating after divorce
• 23:11 - Holding space for grieving over the past and being grateful for the present
• 24:17 - Feel your feelings
• 25:54 - Emotions don’t always have to have meanings

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Get my proven step-by-step process for letting go and moving forward HERE
• Full Show Notes HERE 

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

What sticks out to me so far in my life is how different I feel right now in my 30s compared to when I was in my 20s. 

I’ve heard people around me say, “30s are your new 20s” and I feel like it could go one of two ways. First, is that people can view getting older as the worst thing that can happen to them. The second is viewing it as an opportunity to discover new versions of themselves.

I’m definitely the latter and I won’t deny that I love getting older. Each year, I become wiser and more in tune with my authentic self. I discover new ways of creating the person I want to be.

So whether you are in your 30s and just looking for some things you can leave behind too, or whether you're in your 20s or younger and just wondering what life might be like in your 30s, I’m sharing the 10 things I’m no longer giving energy to in my 30s. No matter how old (or young) you are, my hope is that you can take away some things to consider and ask yourself if it’s worth it to give energy to these things as well.

In this episode:

• 01:59 - No longer feel guilty about declining invitations or not making these interactions a priority
• 05:12 - Giving up alcohol due to witnessing harm and feeling personal distress
• 08:40 - Self-improvement is key, allowing me to manage discomfort without controlling others' opinions
• 11:22 - Discovering the power of internal validation
• 13:07 - Not stressing about appearance
• 18:10 - No longer changing myself to gain acceptance and approval
• 20:22 - Not feeling guilty for saying no
• 21:40 - Appreciate that embracing imperfections and vulnerabilities is a courageous act
• 23:37 - Realizing that life is too short to engage in things out of obligation or fear of offense
• 26:47 - Reflecting on the significance of where we direct our energy

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Sign up for Monica’s Love Mail
• Full Show Notes HERE 

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

When it comes to selecting a book to read, the process can often be overwhelming and intimidating, particularly if you are relatively new to the world of reading and haven't had the chance to explore it extensively.

That's why I reached out to Nick Hutchinson, founder of Book Thinkers, a renowned platform dedicated to promoting the love of reading and personal development. I sought his expertise on the art of selecting the perfect book, reading with purpose and intention, and effectively applying the knowledge gained from your reading materials to your everyday life.

In this episode:

• 05:39 Info about Nick’s new book, Rise of the Reader!
• 06:42 Debunking the myth: “I don’t have time to read”
• 07:27 How you can read 26 books a year by committing to 15 mins/day
• 10:07 The missing link between reading, retention and implementation
• 13:18 How to implement what you read into real life action
• 17:03 How to choose the right books to read
• 19:53 Nick’s reading habits that have helped him read 500+ books in the past 10 years

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

• Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
• Buy the book on Amazon
• Full Show Notes HERE 

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Connect with Nick

• Learn more about Nick
• Learn more about BookThinkers
• For personalized book recommendations, DM Nick on Instagram

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh! 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!