Today, we’re wondering if telling salacious sex stories is the ultimate aphrodisiac and why my mother’s Trump Derangement Syndrome is a sign of extreme lack. We’re exploring my own identity as a 'Big Giant Baby' and the night a foot-long millipede tried to end my honeymoon in South Korea. Plus, I’ll share how a naked, flappin' penis in a dream helped me realize that beneath anxiety lies a giant bubble of sadness.

Whether you're here to confront your own fears or you just want some PG-13 nudity, let’s get vulnerable.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, we’re wondering why Boomers have devolved into giant, wrinkly babies and why my mother feels the need to pretend to read. We’re exploring the dark mirror of the ubiquitous 'nasty-ass ho' and a night in Australia when I was mistaken for a superstar (leading to the best BJ in the history of the world). Plus, I’ll explain why I’m threatening to end the show.

Whether you've come to question your own desires or you just want to hear about that epic blowjob, let’s get messy.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, we’re wondering if I’m the world’s first 'Bodcaster' and why orthodontists are actually just high-status mechanics of filth. We’re exploring the blight of 'Resting Bitch Face' and the night I encountered Courtney Love in an LA dive bar. Plus, I’ll share how a booty call from an A-list celebrity once raised my wife's stock price, and what my buddy's deceased mom was trying to tell me in a dream. 

Whether you're here to examine our demented reality or you just want to get celebrity dirt, let’s get trashy.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, I’m joining Lindsey Scharmyn on Rogue Ways to wonder why I was once a khaki-wearing corporate ding-a-ling who wished for death and how my wife’s adoption story hides a dark reality. We’re exploring why we fled to a converted goat barn during the lockdowns and why the Portland public school system is the final boss of institutional failure. Plus, I’ll share why collectivism is the preferred tool of pussies.

(Check out Lindsey's work here: https://linktr.ee/lindseyscharmyn)

Whether you're here to dissect the system or you just want to hear about the time I lived with goats, let’s get mental.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, we’re wondering if my wife is actually a pocket-sized Yoda and why 'rawdoggin' your next plane ride is the only way to escape the metaverse. We’re dissecting the strange life lessons of a suburban gunrunner and why you should absolutely embrace the schizoid revolution. Plus, I’ll share how a demonic dream-dog almost took my dick and balls off.

Whether you're here to decode the static of a schizophrenic world or you're just looking to jump naked on a trampoline, let’s get kooky.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, we’re exploring the gross asthenosphere of my psyche and explaining why I only dance with men at weddings. We’re wondering if only real men cry during podcast interviews and if my show is finally taking off in Amsterdam. Plus, I’ll share specific life lessons learned from a high school jerk-off competition on a bus.

Whether you're here to audit your own psychic layers or you just want to know how the contest ended, let’s get nasty.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, we’re investigating why everyone needs a "Peter" in their life and whether this podcast can finally land me some international fantasy ass. We’re also remembering when Catholic nuns beat me with rulers (and why I liked it) and how our sun is definitely closer than scientists claim. Plus, I’ll share what a cassette tape from 1982 taught me about being a boss.

Whether you're here to investigate alien tentacle molestation or you’re hunting for a signal in the static, let’s get sexy.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, we’re wondering if a Danish rent-a-grandma business is a cure for loneliness and how weird Portland actually is once you’ve seen a guy get shanked. We’re dissecting the physics of beating a hobo in a fist fight and how podcasting from my bathroom might beat back the devil. Plus, I’ll share how my dad once grabbed a live bat in the 80's wearing only cut-off shorts.

Whether you're here to escape a state of terror or you just appreciate short-shorts, let’s get into the chaos.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, we’re wondering who really owns your house and why Koreans are so wonderfully wacky. We’re dissecting why my wife is a riddle wrapped in an enigma and what it’s like to meet an actual pornstar at the gym. Plus, I’ll share what Jesus was trying to tell me in a dream and ponder if my sleep demon is naughty or nice. 

Whether you're here to escape the 30-year mortgage trap or just to decode the light in the void, let’s get into the dream.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.

Today, we’re wondering what a Martian would think of the public school apparatus and why screaming into a mic is all the therapy I can afford. We’re dissecting why 99% of humanity chooses comfort over control, and why my Korean-born 'dolphin wife' is the only thing keeping us afloat. Plus, I’ll share how the Jungian witch haunts the collective unconscious and why 'gym sluts' are the ultimate sign of our demise. 

Whether you're here to escape the convenience trap or just listen to me scream into the void, let’s get salty.

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.