Chronically Well

It can be difficult to determine if you are in an abusive relationship or not. Sometimes we question what we already know and just need more information to know what is happening in our relationships. This episode explores the types of abuse, the cycle of abuse, why an abuser may be the way they are and why it’s so difficult to leave. If you believe you may be in an abusive relationship and feel unsafe, please reach out to 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788.

If you’re interested in coaching, learn more here

The post Are You in an Abusive Relationship? first appeared on River + Quill.

An overview of the article I wrote on substack, which you can find here.…

“When I started writing this particular substack, I had taken a break from all my vices – men included. I’ve started dating again since then, and while I will not be sharing ALLL the juicy deets, getting back in the “game” (seriously – whoever started this term knew exactly how fucked up dating can actually get if they dubbed it a game) again has me wanting to share some things about dating after divorce and as a single mom, that many women don’t understand, and frankly: you need to. 

It has taken me a series of fails lessons to have this wisdom, and if I can save you a lesson or two, then maybe you can have a couple more peaceful nights than I have had. Wine and Netflix over Netflix and Chill (aka waste of time date): always. 

I am 42. I started dating when I left my husband at the age of 36. I had three kids (still do – but setting the scene for context). My youngest was 4. 

Dating after divorce was a giant, enormous, horrendous burning heap of a hot mess. But I barreled through. I continue to barrel through. I may be barreling through forever. Although, sometimes I think my barrel may be headed over a waterfall and if I actually escape with my life, I will never get in another barrel again.”

The post Do’s and Don’ts of Dating After Divorce first appeared on River + Quill.

It’s been a year, but I’m back, with a recap of the year: 

– My first solo camping trip

– Some healing modalities I used to heal some residual trauma

– An attempt to relate falling in love with others into how we can ultimately learn to fall in love with self

Check out the meditations on Insight Timer, here

Find “Notes from the Forest Floor” substack, here

Become an email subscriber riiiiiiight here

The post New Year Same Love first appeared on River + Quill.

Two months ago, an adrenal tumor was found incidentally on a CT scan completed at the emergency room when I went in for pain related to a kidney infection.

I’m in the process of scheduling appointments with surgeons, and ultimately will likely need to have my adrenal gland removed.  It is inconclusive after further testing if this is cancer or not.

I recorded this early this week.  It’s been difficulty to share for many reasons.  I hear voices swirling from the past who are telling me I’m doing this all for attention – that I’m happy about what is happening to me, because I’ve always been scared about getting sick and now I’m getting what I wanted.  But – I’m grateful for the voices in my life now, telling me that what I have shared in the past has helped, and attention to this: that’s actually more than OK.

We are all connected in our pain.  But what has been so lovely in all of this – in the current health scare and in past traumas, is not that we are connected in our pain, but that we are connected in our hope – in our illogical and ridiculous continued persistance to look up and try to find beauty – despite the hurt, the illness, and the fear.

SO- this is my raw – curse filled summary of where I’m at right now.  Wishing you all love and light on this wild journey.

The post Adrenal Tumor – My Story and What’s Next first appeared on River + Quill.

Jump is Callie Hunter’s debut memoir on her experience with chronic illness.  This episode takes the listener behind the scenes on what the book is about, why Callie wrote it, and who it’s for.  Check out the author page here.

“I wanted to give some of my story to help them on theirs…We need to advocate for better mental health support for people going through a chronic illness diagnosis…It does not ever feel like there’s a way out… and so it feels like the only way out is to end your life and I guess I wanted to be a voice to say that it’s not the only way… relief is possible.  Even after a year and a half of pain.  … This is not the end of your story…

 It’s for people who are facing something, maybe it’s not an illness, but maybe it’s something in their life that they just feel like they can’t get past. They’ve tried so hard for so long and the light just never appears.  It’s just one step after one step after one step into the darkness and it does not feel like they will ever ever see a relief to their pain, whatever that pain may be, this book is for you.  Because, I found in the darkness, to stop looking for the light to find me and to start looking within to find the light itself that was already there.”

To order your copy of Jump, click here

The post Jump: Author Review first appeared on River + Quill.

It’s difficult enough trying to navigate the impact of divorce on your own life: having to make every single life change you never anticipated that you would have to, and all at the same time.  It’s even worse when you have to try to guide your children through something you aren’t even sure how to get through yourself.

Lately I have had some friends reach out for guidance, and I thought I’d offer what I could from the point of view of a school psychologist, but even more so from the point of view of a mother who has walked the path of divorce with her children.

There are so many vague pieces of advice given when you go through a divorce.  People will say: work on yourself, or hang in there, or my all time favorite “just stay strong”.  Dude – you try having your whole world crumble and be blacklisted by half of your support system and tell me how strong you feel.

Friend – you don’t have to be strong, but this episode will give you some guidance on how to help your kids through this.  It’s tempting to just check out entirely, but you can’t.  You have people looking to you.  You CAN do this.  Listen in for some practical ways to offer the support for your children that they need.

The post Tips, Tools, and Tricks for Parenting During Divorce first appeared on River + Quill.

You can.  You don’t have to believe me.  I didn’t believe myself, and yet I managed to find myself on the other side of illness, divorce, and all kinds of heartbreak.  But it isn’t the other side of it where the magic happens – it’s in it.  In the deep dark trenches of it – where the learning, healing, and becoming exists.

Four years ago, I recorded a video of myself having a complete “momma lost her shit” moment.  I was sobbing – unsure how I was going to keep up with the house, the divorce, the kids, and planning for the future – let alone attending to the crippling emotions which hitch themselves to losing a marriage and breaking up a family.  I also thanked myself.  I told myself I hoped it was worth it.

Watching that video was at first humbling.  I wasn’t sure if I had lived up to what I was hoping I would.  And then I wrote myself a letter.  And that is what I am sharing on this podcast episode.  What I realized as I wrote was that the moments I have found myself at my worst, I have actually rid myself of the superfluous everything else which cloaks me from true authenticity, love and joy.  Pain wakes us up.  If you’re brave enough to accept this, I think that whatever it is that you are facing may actually be the answer you have needed all along.

Reach out on instagram: @riverandquill

Or email me: [email protected]

You are never alone – You are loved – It gets better

The post If You’re Not Sure You Can Do This… first appeared on River + Quill.

Did you know that time in the forest has been supported in research to be excellent for physical health?  And this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as the benefits to spending just 2.5 to 3 hours outside.  In this episode, I interview Ben Page, Association of Nature and Forest Therapy Guide, Mentor and Trainer, founder of Shinrin Yoku LA, Director of Training for ANFT guides and programs, and co founder of The Open School.  He is featured in Women’s health, USA Today, Good Morning America, The Washington Post, and Web MD.

If you’re looking for someone to explain forest bathing/forest therapy, I can think of no better person.  Ben was also my trainer in the ANFT forest therapy guide program and as I have learned this new practice, I’ve understood that forest therapy is not just a jaunt through the woods – it’s understanding the urgency to live as if you are alive.

Ben talks in this podcast about how we spend so much time trying to figure out “who we are” that we miss the valuable part of living, and that’s just it: living…being…Because WHAT we are is actually nature, all around us.  Forest bathing helps us remember this and gives practical steps to embodiment.

Check out this episode!  And if you’d like to learn more about Ben and purchase his book (I recommend you do – it’s a great primer into forest bathing, particularly if you don’t have a guide in your area to take you for a walk)

His Website:

https://www.integralforestbathing.com

The Book:

Healing Trees: A Pocket Guide to Forest Bathing

If you’re looking for a guide in your area, I am biased, but I definitely recommend an Association of Nature and Forest Therapy trained guide.  The program teaches us a sequence for practice that is made to provide the best experience for our participants.  We also are taught to research and acknowledge the land we guide on, identify hazards for participants, and understand that we don’t just take from nature, but are in a constant relationship with it.   To find a guide near you, click this directory.

OH and hey!  I took a break from podcasting to dedicate myself to training as a guide and I now am offering walks!  Check out my new website where you can book a walk at:

ForestCityNatureTherapy.com

The post Forest Therapy with Ben Page first appeared on River + Quill.

Denise Nichols is a pelvic floor therapist, an occupational therapist, a pelvic rehabilitation practitioner, the owner of Motivate Health, Inc., author and coach of “Your SelfCare Matrix”, and a neurological lyme survivor.  She started her influence as someone who provides hope to others through the business she created, but then she had to provide that same hope to herself to journey through her own very scary health journey.

In this episode, we talk about all the things that we NEED to start talking about as women – all the things discussed in hushed voices in the corner – things we should be unafraid to discuss so that we can HEAL and thrive sexually, emotionally, and physically.

Things like:

– did you know you don’t have to experience pain during sex?

– did you know you can get a vibrator prescribed??  By a doctor??  Also – pelvic floor therapy can be prescribed to help from anything from making sex enjoyable to reducing bladder pain (why I first went there to), reducing incontinence, to all kinds of things the world is ready and needs to hear about

Denise discusses all of these things with me – as well as her book, “Your SelfCare Matrix”.  What I love about Denise is that she understands stress – MANIFESTS – Our illnesses and pain are real, but there is a true connection between our emotional health and our physical health.  Her philosophy encompasses the belief that “self care is healthcare” and she shares tactics she has found to be helpful in her own healing journey – as well as the advice she gives to clients everyday.

This is not an episode you want to miss – and then you’re going to want to share – because we NEED this information to be a part of everyday conversation.  

Denise was also the first person to give me hope that I could heal from Interstitial Cystitis, so please listen to what she has to offer in this episode – I know it will be helpful in your own journey.

Contact Denise and find her book! :

Email: [email protected]

Book: selfcarematrix.com

Website: motivatetherapy.com

Instagram: @motivatetherapy

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Motivatetherapy/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx5-N9ooIFV5DPGN3BXeNlg

The post Anything is Possible: Recovering from Neurological Lyme and Providing Hope as a Pelvic Floor Therapist with Denise Nichols first appeared on River + Quill.