Chuckle English

Chuckle English

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Chuckle English episodes

  • S1E45 - Quick Dictations - Bad Wedding Food
    Episode Notes

    A new weekly dictation to help learners of the English language to improve their listening comprehension.

    How to use:
    1. Don't look at the transcript (text) below.
    2. Listen to the podcast (the dictation is repeated twice) and try to write everything you hear down.
    3. Check your text with the text of the dictation. If any word is different, it is probably a listening comprehension mistake. Try to listen again to the word and repeat the pronunciation a few times. If you don't understand the word when you read it; it is probably new vocabulary.
    4. Listen to the dictation again. You should understand some of the words that you didn't understand before.

      5. (The dictations starts at 34 seconds, if you don't need the instructions)

      Transcript:

      Are you married? Did you spend a lot of money on food for your guests? One couple didn’t! Recently, on Facebook, a photo of the food at a wedding has gone viral. The pictures were taken by a bridesmaid. In the photo she criticizes the food. All they had on the plate were a packet of crisps, half a croissant, two cocktail sticks with tiny bits of cheese and fruit, as well as a small pot containing cucumber a carrot and baby tomatoes. Other people said that is exactly what they gave their babies to eat for lunch!

      Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

      4 min
    5. S1E44 - How to Learn Vocabulary in English
      Episode Notes

      In this episode, I speak to you as a teacher in order to give your advice of how to learn English in better ways.

      In this episode, I discuss the best way to learn vocabulary.

      Many thanks for listening to the Chuckle English podcast, a comedy podcast for learning English.

      Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

      9 min
    6. S1E43 - Quick Dictations - My Escort Was My Friend's Mum
      Episode Notes

      A new weekly dictation to help learners of the English language to improve their listening comprehension.

      How to use:
      1. Don't look at the transcript (text) below.
      2. Listen to the podcast (the dictation is repeated twice) and try to write everything you hear down.
      3. Check your text with the text of the dictation. If any word is different, it is probably a listening comprehension mistake. Try to listen again to the word and repeat the pronunciation a few times. If you don't understand the word when you read it; it is probably new vocabulary.
      4. Listen to the dictation again. You should understand some of the words that you didn't understand before.
        5. Transcript:

        James has been in the army for six years. He’s away for long periods at a time. This means that holding down a long relationship can be hard. So, he started to use escorts to satisfy his sexual needs. The website he uses only lets him see their bodies, it doesn’t show their faces. He decided to look for an older woman. One day, he booked an older escort. When she arrived at his door there was a big surprise. It was his friend’s mother. His friend’s mother continued like a professional during the encounter. After they finished, they decided it should be a secret. What is worrying is that James’s friend uses the same website!

        Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

        4 min
      5. S1E42 - Quick Dictations - Wife Bites Off Husband's Penis
        Episode Notes

        A new weekly dictation to help learners of the English language to improve their listening comprehension.

        How to use:
        1. Don't look at the transcript (text) below.
        2. Listen to the podcast (the dictation is repeated twice) and try to write everything you hear down.
        3. Check your text with the text of the dictation. If any word is different, it is probably a listening comprehension mistake. Try to listen again to the word and repeat the pronunciation a few times. If you don't understand the word when you read it; it is probably new vocabulary.
        4. Listen to the dictation again. You should understand some of the words that you didn't understand before.
          5. Transcript:

          If you are a husband and your wife asks you to get a rat out of your bedroom, I recommend that you do it! In Zambia, a wife bit off her husband’s penis after he refused to get a rat out of her bedroom. She was angry when she came home after a few drinks to find the rat near her bed. Unable to sleep, she ordered her husband to get rid of it. A fight began and then she sank her teeth into his genitals, causing a major tear. Ouch! That’s got to hurt!

          Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

          3 min
        5. S1E41 - Quick Dictations - Husband Buys Dinosaur for Garden
          Episode Notes

          A new weekly dictation to help learners of the English language to improve their listening comprehension.

          How to use:
          1. Don't look at the transcript (text) below.
          2. Listen to the podcast (the dictation is repeated twice) and try to write everything you hear down.
          3. Check your text with the text of the dictation. If any word is different, it is probably a listening comprehension mistake. Try to listen again to the word and repeat the pronunciation a few times. If you don't understand the word when you read it; it is probably new vocabulary.
          4. Listen to the dictation again. You should understand some of the words that you didn't understand before.
            5. Transcript:

            A husband was asked by his wife to improve their garden. She asked him to clear the weeds and maybe put a gnome on the patio. Adrian, 52, decided to buy a 3.5m replica of a T-Rex. He thought that nothing would look better than a big replica of a T-Rex. He bought the dinosaur for £1,600 from a company in Wales. They needed a crane to lift it into the garden. The neighbours loved it. After arriving late from work, his wife, Deborah, got the fright of her life when she opened the curtains the next morning to see the big dinosaur looking at her.

            Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

            4 min
          5. S1E40 - Quick Dictations - Men Have Penises Rated for 50 Dollars
            Episode Notes

            A new weekly dictation to help learners of the English language to improve their listening comprehension.

            How to use:
            1. Don't look at the transcript (text) below.
            2. Listen to the podcast (the dictation is repeated twice) and try to write everything you hear down.
            3. Check your text with the text of the dictation. If any word is different, it is probably a listening comprehension mistake. Try to listen again to the word and repeat the pronunciation a few times. If you don't understand the word when you read it; it is probably new vocabulary.
            4. Listen to the dictation again. You should understand some of the words that you didn't understand before.
              5. Transcript:

              A lifestyle coach in Australia has recently revealed that she charges men $50 to rate their manhood. The sex educator gives men advice on how to improve their love lives, depending on the size of their penis. Her customers just have to send her $50 and a picture of their private parts, and she sends them a report. The report includes advice, such as the best sex positions and how to improve their hygiene. This service for men has become her most popular one, as there isn’t much interaction and men find it safe

              Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

              4 min
            5. Improve Your Spoken English
              Episode Notes

              Thank you for listening and subscribing and support me with your donations.

              I want to quickly tell you about a new service that I have craeated to help you improve your spoken English.

              Sometimes, it’s difficult to find the time to practice. It can also be difficult to find a good teacher who will tell you exactly how to improve your spoken English.

              That’s why I have a new service that you can use any time you want to practice your speaking.

              Just record yourself speaking for a couple of minutes, it can be 5 minutes or en 10. Then send it to me over the Fiverr website (Link shown below)

              I’ll give you useful feedback on your sentence structure, grammar, pronunciation and vocabulary.

              Improve your English by talking about subjects that are personally or professional interesting to you!
              Talk about yourself, your holidays, practice a work presentation, talk about the news, practice a job interview, or whatever motivates you!

              Thanks for listening.

              Improve your Spoken English now:

              https://www.fiverr.com/share/rd9aLr

              Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

              3 min
            6. S1E39 - Quick Dictations - My Dog is Changing Colour
              Episode Notes

              A new weekly dictation to help learners of the English language to improve their listening comprehension.

              How to use:
              1. Don't look at the transcript (text) below.
              2. Listen to the podcast (the dictation is repeated twice) and try to write everything you hear down.
              3. Check your text with the text of the dictation. If any word is different, it is probably a listening comprehension mistake. Try to listen again to the word and repeat the pronunciation a few times. If you don't understand the word when you read it; it is probably new vocabulary.
              4. Listen to the dictation again. You should understand some of the words that you didn't understand before.
                5. Transcript:

                A Labrador’s fur is changing from black to white and people are stunned! Blaze the dog, who is a Labrador retriever, is memorizing people with his fur. He has a condition called vitiligo, which means that his black fur is slowly changing its colour to white. Blaze lives with his owner in Finland, and last year, his owner noticed a white patch of fur on his ear. Since then, the white fur has slowly moved down his body giving him a unique look. He melts the hearts of anyone he meets on his walks.

                Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

                3 min
              5. S1E38 - Quick Dictations - The Giant Potato
                Episode Notes

                A new weekly dictation to help learners of the English language to improve their listening comprehension.

                How to use:
                1. Don't look at the transcript (text) below.
                2. Listen to the podcast (the dictation is repeated twice) and try to write everything you hear down.
                3. Check your text with the text of the dictation. If any word is different, it is probably a listening comprehension mistake. Try to listen again to the word and repeat the pronunciation a few times. If you don't understand the word when you read it; it is probably new vocabulary.
                4. Listen to the dictation again. You should understand some of the words that you didn't understand before.
                  5. Transcript:

                  With the current lock-down due to the Coronavirus, more people have been doing their shopping online. However, sometimes shopping online can go a little wrong. A woman called Naomi, recently ordered 1 kg of sweet potatoes. Instead of receiving a sack of potatoes, she received one gigantic sweet potato. She called it Potatozilla. She shared it on Twitter and it quickly went viral.

                  Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

                  3 min
                5. S1E37 - Learn English with Crazy Stories - A Celebrity Made Me Pregnant in My Dreams
                  Episode Notes

                  Learn English with Crazy Stories

                  WARNING: The topics covered in this story may be of an adult nature. However, this story is just for fun.

                  She always felt disappointed in sex. But, then one day, it all changed. However, she didn't know why it changed until she went to see her doctor.

                  Transcript

                  I’ve always been a dreamer. I’ve spent my whole life dreaming; dreaming of being with him. I thought it would be impossible, because he’s famous and has a wife, and me? I’m just a simple girl from a simple family. But, it happened, he came to me in a dream, and now I’m here, 6 months pregnant with his child.
                  As a young girl in school, I didn’t pay much attention in class. Believe me, I tried, but my fantasies just got the better of me. I’d find myself drifting off in any class. I’d drift off into my dreams of being with him. No boy in my year or school could meet his standards. That’s right! I never had a boyfriend, nor kissed a boy in school. How could I? How could I betray the man of my dreams?
                  Now, who is this man that I spent so many hours dreaming of? I’ll tell you in a minute. But, I think he’s more than a man. He’s a god, a god among men! His body is just so perfect! Like it’s been finely designed by a machine. A machine that has a kinky side, and likes its men to perfectly sexy! His face is so beautiful! His eyes and that cheeky smile! Apparently, he used to be a footballer, but now, he’s always having his photo taken to model underwear. His name? David Beckham.
                  People, say that he isn’t the smartest guy out there, but I’m not the smartest girl out there either. Some say he has a squeaky uneducated voice that doesn’t match the manliness of his body, but I don’t care. Anyway, If I had him in my room, he wouldn’t need to speak a word! I’m making myself hot.
                  My room is full of his photos. I have so many. Posters on my walls, in my draws and even a photoshopped photo of us two together in a photo frame on the bedside cabinet next to my bed. I buy a lot of magazines for men and women, just to check if there are any adverts for underwear or perfume with David in them. I’ve created our own photo album, called ‘David and I’. To see how we have grown throughout the years, no matter the physical distance between us.
                  I believe that David and I are born to be together. However, there is just one issue; Victoria. Yes, David is married to her! He’s got kids! Those should have been mine! I’ve tried to meet him a few times. Once, I met him at a fashion show. I wasn’t wearing any underwear, and made sure he noticed. He looked at me! I’m sure we shared a connection for the few seconds we looked at each other before security jumped on me. I forgive him; his security must work for Victoria, not him. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.
                  I’ve also sent him some nude photos. I actually got a letter back. He told me to stop, but I’m sure that evil witch, Victoria made him do it. I like to think there is a secret message in the letter, telling me that he loves me. I know we will be together, one day! I believe in destiny.
                  I always believed I would be the mother of his children. I knew it would happen! I just didn’t know that it would take so long! But, now I’m here, 6 months pregnant with David Beckham’s child. How did it happen?
                  I usually dream about David, even sexually sometimes. But this time was different. It was romantic, flowers, next to the beach and his breath in my ear. We made love in my dream. I knew this was it! People didn’t believe me, so I had to get some proof. A few weeks later, I went for a pregnancy test, and my dreams had come true; I was pregnant! I was pregnant with David’s child.
                  People laughed at me, but I knew it was true. It must have been David’s! Ok, I had a few nights with some men, but they always told me that they pulled out before reaching orgasm. Why would they lie? Anyway, I have David’s child inside me. I can feel his DNA inside me.
                  I tried to contact David with the news, but he didn’t reply. I just got a letter from the Beckham’s lawyer. Again, that must be Victoria doing that. I know that if David knew, he would come to me. I know he had the same dream too.
                  The future? I will raise my child and call him David. I will teach him who his dad is and how the evil Spice Girl took him away from him. Financially, ok, I haven’t seen any money from David yet, but I have sold my story to those terrible newspapers, like the Sun or the Daily Mail, they buy anything! Their money will help me raise David Junior.

                  Support Chuckle English by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/chuckle-english

                  9 min

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