It’s Festive Friday, and for this episode we were joined by Alonso to dig into a holiday movie that is absolutely insane.

During the Civil War, a wounded Union soldier falls in love with a Southern woman while taking refuge in her cabin on Christmas Eve.

July 2, 2024 | VOD

• Sophie Bolen as Aura-Lee
• Kyle Patrick Douglas as Douglas
• Andrew Dawe-Collins as Grandpa Charlie

We’re dropped into the Civil War as I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day plays.
Cut to this woman in her cabin. She hears a sound outside and thinks it’s her grandpa. She runs out and, for some reason, bursts into Hark the Herald Angels Sing. Then she goes back in and sings a song that—honestly—makes it sound like she’s in love with her grandpa. I don’t know.

There’s a knock at the door. She grabs her gun and finds a wounded Yankee outside. Even though helping him could get her in trouble, she brings him in and stitches him up. He falls asleep, wakes up, and hears her sing O Holy Night—after which he just casually mumbles that he loves her.

They eat and sing Up on the Housetop together, which somehow inspires her to decorate for Christmas. There’s something off about this guy, but I can’t quite place it. Then he recites A Visit from St. Nicholas and asks her to sing again, so they do The First Noel.

That’s when he breaks the news: her grandpa isn’t coming home. He says they spent hours together by a fire, had a heart-to-heart, grandpa wrote a poem to God…and then died. To cope, she sings Silent Night. Naturally.

They have a quick “nuanced” conversation about slavery and then immediately slide into What Child Is This. She says goodnight, and that’s when he drops the bomb: he actually killed her grandpa after grandpa shot him in the back. Oh, and by the way, they knew each other as kids and were first loves. He gives her another letter from grandpa, and they cap it all off by singing a slow version of Jingle Bells.

He proposes, she says yes, and they celebrate on the porch. Then—plot twist—it turns out they’re in one of Krampus’ snow globes, and suddenly everything makes sense.

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