Clashists

CLASH: SINGLEDOM. Today is a very special day, because today we have one of our favorite people on the pod - Sutanya Dacres!! Sutanya has created a far-reaching community of readers, listeners and diners under her Dinner for One umbrella, in which she encourages single women to reclaim their tables and their stories. While Dani has been barred from the exclusive single supper club, Gabby has had the recent privilege of getting dumped — allowing her special access. Sutanya walks us all the way from her Jamaican roots, to her first mayonnaise experience (spoiler alert: it wasn't her "her type of taste"), to her stint in the suburbs, and eventually her whirlwind email-based romance — and heartbreak — at the hands of a French man that upended her life and plopped her down in the "studio" with us today. We touch on the difference between integration and immersion, the problems with online "dating coaches", how to cope post breakup and so so so much more (namely: cake).

Find Sutanya's book here: https://www.amazon.com/Dinner-One-Cooking-Paris-Saved/dp/0778333035 (or at Shakespeare & Co!)

Find Sutanya online here: @dinnerfor.one

Additional references:

• Lauren Collins' book: When in French: Love in a Second Language
• Lauren Collins' New Yorker article on El Mordjene: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2025/06/09/how-a-hazelnut-spread-became-a-sticking-point-in-franco-algerian-relations
• Kate Kassin's Bon Appetit article on ice cream: https://www.bonappetit.com/story/best-ice-cream-desserts-restaurants-2025?srsltid=AfmBOootHkI-JdcniSkHaQG8wqaQVFu59ox8GXq60pb600TGCV2oZty5
• Ice cream references: JJ Hings, @kevglace
• Nikita Wallia's "thinking out loud" Substack: The Rise of the TikTok Oracle

We had to hop on the ~*~viral~*~ propaganda-we're-not-falling-for trend. Whether it's French men's falsely "romantic" reputation, French pharmacy fails, croissant chaos or attacks on snacks - Dani & Gabby are coming in hot today with the Paris propaganda they absolutely refuse to get behind.

🎶 LET'S GO BACK, BACK TO THE BEGINNING 🎶 (IYKYK) Happy to report that we've acquired a lot of new friends recently so we're re-running our DEBUT EP! This is the ep in which we discover how awkward it is to talk TO each other while talking FOR someone else, and navigate just how much eye contact a social arrangement like that entails. Always nice to go back to your roots and remind yourself where you came from. Keeps us humble!!! Love y'all and see you next wk with a spankin' new ep.

CLASH: LIVING THROUGH LIFELONG CULTURE SHOCKS. It's our first guest & we COULDN'T be more excited!!!!! Clashes abound in this one 🚘! Matt tells us all about his early life in the Philippines and what it was like to come to the US as a kid — from the unique joys of childhood Costco sample scouring to the iconic gondolas in Vegas' Grand Canal Shoppes. We dig into baby's first culture shocks, the upsides/downsides/necessity of rule-following as an immigrant, the joys of NYC as an "outsider", and Matt's relationship with France today. BONUS: he schools us on the legacy (and mystery) of ~ Chartreuse ~.

• Matt's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattortile/?hl=en

• Matt's book: The Groom Will Keep His Name: And Other Vows I've Made About Race, Resistance, and Romance: https://a.co/d/5oQFSX8

• The great CN Traveler piece he references: https://www.cntraveler.com/story/french-asian-paris-ro-kwon

CLASH: MANNERS ACROSS CULTURES. One question we get constantly as certified idiots abroad: “Are Parisians rude?” To which we’d like to counter—are we?? A big shock since moving countries has been the realization that our manners don't translate. Whether we're talking about the French's distain for small talk, their proclivity for directness, or an aversion to smiling — we discuss how our more American traits are often ~unwelcome abroad~. In an attempt at intellectualism, we put on our history hats (do historians wear hats?) to make a valiant, questionably accurate attempt to trace where our cultures diverged—and how these unspeakably different definitions of “polite” came to be. As always, the conversation devolves — this time into a truly unhinged rant re: sneezing & a spiral prompted by our mutual disgust for LinkedIn culture. Also, Dunkin' Donuts launched in Paris???!

More materials:

• The Culture Map by Erin Meyer: https://amzn.eu/d/bS96Ls8

• @vin_dealer (our new fav wine influencer): https://www.instagram.com/vin_dealer/

• Overcompensating (on Amazon Prime): https://www.primevideo.com/detail/0GZX4440MSC23NHW3P0BSQB1TE/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r

CLASH: INTERNATIONAL DIFFERENCES RE: MONEY. Why is money so dang weird? Today we break down our respective relationships with ~l'argent~ — from NYC-fueled over-shopping to how moving to Paris killed both of our "more is more" mentalities. We touch on why we believe sharing your salary is an act of service, and whether it's wise to travel with a friend on a wholly different budget (communication is key!!). Stay tuned for post discussion rants about the incessant reality of groups of men blocking the sidewalk to why one of our laptops is about to grow its own forest.

Reference materials:

NYT's "Are You the Only One Who’s Broke? Or Is It ‘Money Dysmorphia’?, by Emma Goldberg: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/12/style/boom-boom-spending-money-dysmorphia.html

The Cut's "Are We All Living Beyond Our Means Now?", by Claire Lampen: https://www.thecut.com/article/discretionary-spending-and-debt-costs-of-living-expenses.html

Gabby's "hot guy who reads" crush: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukesreads

Hot Shrek: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS8KT1uCseY

@louispisano: https://www.instagram.com/louispisano/?hl=en

It Must be Nice to be a West Village Girl: https://www.thecut.com/article/nyc-west-village-neighborhood-new-generation-women-girls.html

Gross strawberry situation: https://www.tiktok.com/@sandra.urbangarden/video/7250866827604086058

CLASH: AGING. ARE WE OLD!?!? we ask ourselves calmly and reflectively with no hint of panic or desperation. Today's pod explores the clash of realizing you're not longer one of the "youth", and all that this entails. From grappling with the stranger in the mirror (what is HAPPENING under my eyes), to career-based insecurities, dating implications and more, Dani + Gabby dig into the disparaging aspects of aging and try to find the silver linings of silver hairs. To alleviate our woes, we snack on banana bread and scones while rioting against "top 10" Paris lists & the number 3 (?!)

Reference Materials:

• Claire Lampen in The Cut, "What Should a 30-Something Look Like?": https://www.thecut.com/article/millennials-thirty-somethings-aging.htmlJia Tolentino in The

• New Yorker, "My Brain Finally Broke": https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-weekend-essay/my-brain-finally-broke

• The Valley on Bravo: https://www.bravotv.com/the-valley

• Berlant & Novak: https://open.spotify.com/show/3ZZD3qBiD8bCqfD9D83TDB

• Wishbone! : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0L7ZPi2gzWI79_DzDYHlNiJHGuyPdXyw

Another baby ep?? You lucky ducks. Truly, who could be luckier? All the joy of Dani + Gabby, this time Polly Pocket-sized. Today we circle back to one of our favorite pod premises: rapid-fire clashes. Whether it's France's war on snacks (!!), waiters telling Gabby that the bathroom is "outside", or Dani's mental breakdown regarding when to say "bonjour" vs. "bonsoir", the Clashists duo brings you the hard hitting culture journalism you've come to know and love. Also, will we ever learn to pronounce the word "spritz" in French? That's a secret we'll never tell. We wrap with a fun "this or that" Paris vs NYC edition. Spoiler alert: dating in Paris is h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

CLASH: FRIENDSHIP BREAKUPS. A follow-up to one of our most popular eps, "Haunted by Friendship Breakups" — this time, with your stories. Dani and Gabby rehash your DMs, ID some common themes, break down potential solutions, and dig into one listener's stellar ~friendship health check-up checklist~. If you've ever felt alone after a friendship breakup (regardless of which end of it you were on), this [mini] ep is for you.

CLASH: BREAKUPS. Bet y'all saw this coming! Four months after Gabby got dumped because her ex was, and we quote, "tired", the Clashists dive head-first into one of life's quintessential clashes: the breakup. From coping mechs for the immediate aftermath (spoiler: BLOCK THEM), to recovery timeline windows, to neurologically-proven remedies — your fav two oversharers dig into the temporary insanity-induced by one of life's most transformational moments. Luckily we're accompanied by cardamom buns, apple pie, and the catharsis of complaining about things that annoy us ("snacking & spiralling" never get old).

• You Always Change The Love Of Your Life, by Amalia Andrade: https://www.amazon.com/Always-Change-Love-Your-Life/dp/1409180964

• Study on breakups as physical pain: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/220427#1

• How to Fix a Broken Heart TED Talk, by Guy Winch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM

• Using the Logic of Neuroscience to Heal from a Breakup: https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/breakup-neuroscience/

• Dani's breakup Spotify playlist from her 20s: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46bRj7l8tHmwuv1fHnf97x?si=22aa5400a0174b1a&nd=1&dlsi=c50ddc43f74c48f7

• Gabby's Substack on whether breakups are "evolutionarily natural": https://open.substack.com/pub/gabriellepedriani/p/are-breakups-natural-like-evolutionarily?r=b4i&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

• @komberabi.paris: for cardamom buns & apple pie: https://www.instagram.com/komorebi.paris/?hl=en