A follow-up to one of our most popular eps, "Haunted by Friendship Breakups" — this time, with your stories. Dani and Gabby rehash your DMs, ID some common themes, break down potential solutions, and dig into one listener's stellar ~friendship health check-up checklist~. If you've ever felt alone after a friendship breakup (regardless of which end of it you were on), this [mini] ep is for you.

Bet y'all saw this coming! Four months after Gabby got dumped because her ex was, and we quote, "tired", the Clashists dive head-first into one of life's quintessential clashes: the breakup. From coping mechs for the immediate aftermath (spoiler: BLOCK THEM), to recovery timeline windows, to neurologically-proven remedies — your fav two oversharers dig into the temporary insanity-induced by one of life's most transformational moments. Luckily we're accompanied by cardamom buns, apple pie, and the catharsis of complaining about things that annoy us ("snacking & spiralling" never get old).

• You Always Change The Love Of Your Life, by Amalia Andrade: https://www.amazon.com/Always-Change-Love-Your-Life/dp/1409180964

• Study on breakups as physical pain: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/220427#1

• How to Fix a Broken Heart TED Talk, by Guy Winch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM

• Using the Logic of Neuroscience to Heal from a Breakup: https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/breakup-neuroscience/

• Dani's breakup Spotify playlist from her 20s: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46bRj7l8tHmwuv1fHnf97x?si=22aa5400a0174b1a&nd=1&dlsi=c50ddc43f74c48f7

• Gabby's Substack on whether breakups are "evolutionarily natural": https://open.substack.com/pub/gabriellepedriani/p/are-breakups-natural-like-evolutionarily?r=b4i&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

• @komberabi.paris: for cardamom buns & apple pie: https://www.instagram.com/komorebi.paris/?hl=en

Today we dissect perhaps the greatest culture shock of all ~*~social media~*~, and how it's impacted our individual millennial lives (SORRY we are what we are). From early AIM flirtations, to cut throat Myspace "top 8" brutality, to our regrettable respective moments of TikTok virality, we chat through all things social and the rewarding pros (and psychotic cons) of living snippets of our lives online. Then, we once again end the ep eating various varieties of cookies and somehow finding ways to complain about things we should be grateful for. <3 BRB TTYL

Welcome back to another episode in which we spiral about the increasingly odd relationship between NYC & Paris. Are we the problem? Is this play about us?? We ask ourself these hard-hitting questions and more, like: How do you successfully export a concept to a new country? Can you translate a feeling? Why are we seeing so much cross-pollination between the two cities lately? And ... should Paris maybe just stop trying to make the bagel happen? We wash it all down with a solid rant attacking Parisians for their incessant need to speak English back to us despite our noble attempts at speaking French (let us live!) and some artery-clogging snacks.

Emily Sundberg's Feed Me: New York City has a France problem: https://substack.com/home/post/p-158859893?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

This Is TASTE 529: New York’s New Semi-Anonymous Restaurant Critic with Feed Me’s J Lee: https://tastecooking.com/this-is-taste-529-new-yorks-new-semi-anonymous-restaurant-critic-with-feed-mes-j-lee/

Mackenzie Barmen (@mackenziebarmen) on TikTok (click on "Sixty-Somethings Series"): https://www.tiktok.com/@mackenziebarmen?lang=en

Best Baguette in Paris 2025 winner: https://www.sortiraparis.com/en/news/in-paris/articles/326261-the-best-baguette-in-paris-2025-mickael-reydellet-crowned-king-of-baguettes-in-paris#:~:text=The%20best%20baguette%20in%20Paris%20in%202025%20comes%20from%20Micka%C3%ABl,by%20the%20City%20of%20Paris.

Offline podcast ep ft. Supercommunicators' author Charles Duhigg: https://podcasts.apple.com/mt/podcast/offline-pc-small-group/id1610392666?i=1000701027361

Existential crises abound! Today we discuss the various life events that have altered our personalities — from moving between cities and starting new relationships to actively chipping away at our less desirable traits. How has marrying a French man impacted Dani? How has incessantly being described as neurotic driven Gabby to self help articles? Only this ep will tell! Also ft: France's interpretation of "corn dogs" (heavy emphasis on interpretation), the ageless joy of Kinder eggs, and why both of your beloved hosts are spiralling into scaffolding-induced insanity.

The Atlantic — "I Gave Myself Three Months to Change My Personality" by Olga Khazan: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2022/03/how-to-change-your-personality-happiness/621306/

Olga's new book — Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change: https://www.amazon.com/Me-But-Better-Science-Personality/dp/1668012545

The New Yorker — "Becoming You: Are you the same person you were when you were a child?" by Joshua Rothman: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/10/10/are-you-the-same-person-you-used-to-be-life-is-hard-the-origins-of-you

Obama's code-switching vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSch9x_RuJU

Info on Erewhon Paris edition: https://www.vogue.fr/article/merci-pop-up-erewhon-paris

The Culture Study Podcast on With Love, Meghan: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/figuring-out-how-to-feel-about-with-love-meghan/id1718662839?i=1000699786274

And not for the faint of heart — Zuckerberg's Benson Boone role play: https://www.instagram.com/zuck/reel/DGoDxw5PvlH/?hl=en

Today on the pod? Friendship breakups. We promise you you're not alone. Whether you've been ghosted, phased out, or downright dumped, recording this ep made us realize just how common this shame-inducing experience really is. Bright side/bold claim?: It might be leading us to our higher selves? Or, at the very least, weeding out some absolute weirdos. Then, Dani advocates for setting more stuff on fire (for a cause!) and Gabby reveals her vendetta against cancelers. Be sure to leave room for snack spirals involving two carb-filled classics.

The Cut's article on friendship breakups (by Melissa Dahl): https://www.thecut.com/article/friendship-breakups-pain-explained-psychology.html

Southern Charm: https://www.bravotv.com/southern-charm

Avery McClure (Gab's call for the "next big thing"): https://www.instagram.com/averymcclure0/?hl=en

It's a baby bottle ep! (IYKYK) We rapid-fire run through some of our (and our listeners'!) most startling ~mini culture clashes~, 30% of which are bra-related for reasons unbeknownst to us. Also discussed? Dead bird heads, confusing toilet situations, "love hotels", and why we'll never get over the French's pronunciation of the word "smoothie".

HOT TAKE! That sums up this entire episode. One egregious hot take. And just in time for Paris Fashion Week, no less. But truly: are Parisians interesting dressers? What are they actually wearing day-to-day? And why did it shock this pod's hosts? What is "effortlessness"? And why are people so convinced that French women have it? Dani + Gabby dissect these hard-hitting questions as the world crumbles around us. Service-journalism! Also on tap? A ~soft girl cheese~ session, what Gabby is willing to risk e-coli for, and why we're taking the cool back from mean girls.

Things referenced:

The Myth of Effortless Style, by Daisy Maldonado (Vogue): https://www.vogue.com/article/the-myth-of-effortless-style

The New Parisienne, by Lindsey Tramuta: https://www.amazon.com/New-Parisienne-Women-Ideas-Shaping/dp/1419742817

Dani's Paris clothes rental service = Le Closet (link offers 30 euro off): https://www.lecloset.fr/free-closet?referrerToken=vintagedaniela28

Salon D'Agriculture (just wrapped this year but keep your eye on it for next yr!): https://www.salon-agriculture.com/en

Gab's man Brillat-Savarin (reference pic): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Anthelme_Brillat-Savarin

An overly dramatic ep title meant to highlight how ~odd~ NYC dining has become, and how some of Paris' most "annoying" restaurant-related traits are maybe actually...beautiful? We'll discuss everything from why we sort of love not being able to get a waiter to bring us the check, to why Gabby kept getting kicked out of NYC restaus, to the joys of cheap wine and sorrows of stingy ice distribution. Plus - the dairy-on-dairy combo that's making Gabby moo-an (sry), Dani's vendetta against wooden stools, and a vehement rant on subway pole etiquette 101.

~ Dani's new Substack, This is Probably About Food! : https://substack.com/@thisisprobaboutfood

~ Our friend Sutanya's killer book: https://www.amazon.com/Dinner-One-Cooking-Paris-Saved/dp/0778333035

~ Substack event! (March 5th in Paris): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/billets-a-new-fashion-navigating-substack-in-an-age-of-oversaturated-platforms-1244359315209

~ Caitlin Gunther's NYT, Modern Love piece: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/21/style/modern-love-divorce-paris-trying-to-not-love-him.html

~ The Cut article on snark reddits (by Brooke LaMantia): https://www.thecut.com/article/reddit-influencer-snark-confessions.html

~ Gabby Windey does in fact have a podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/long-winded-with-gabby-windey/id1729279320

~ "Frozen Food’s New Wave" in The Atlantic (by Meghan McCarron): https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2025/02/frozen-food-reputation/681710/

The first of what we can fully assure you will be a ~nearly incessant~ amount of eps about dating, We compare dating in NYC vs Paris (SPOILER ALERT: they're both bad! <3), why French men love to stroke your hand & split a 12 euro bill, and the absolute ~joys~ of 2 year situationships. Plus - why muting your friends is an act of LOVE & finishing your sentences with "right?" is peak manipulation. And plz comment your fav/least fav dating stories on IG @clashists - Gabby's misery needs company.

Also y'all - I remembered to put it in the show notes (Jimmy Fallon's Z105 sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ik3GDAa3gek