Co-creating Peace

In an era rife with judgement, bias and objectification, how do we reduce the harms of toxic polarization? How do we re-humanize one another? We set aside our beliefs about each other, we sit down together, and we connect through dialogue – one Being to another. We listen to learn & understand. 

Welcome to “Listen First at the National Week of Conversation”, Episode #114 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication & conflict transformation.

Graham Bodie, Chief Listening Officer at Listen First, one of the go-to resource organizations for people who want to develop their listening skills and participate in peaceful dialogue joins me to tell us more about that. In addition to sharing a couple of great stories about how participating in dialogue has fundamentally changed how people interrelate, he will tell us about Listen First and the National Week of Conversation, which is coming up April 17th thru 23rd, and how we can all participate.

Highlights of our conversation include:

• How dialogue & listening helped heal a community 
• Where to find a vast library of free resources you can utilize to help you bring peaceful conversation, even about sensitive topics, into your life and your community
• What you can do to bring peaceful dialogue into your life and community, and even host your own conversation event during the National Week of Conversation.

Graham Bodie, Ph.D, is a scholar, educator and consultant. In each role, he attempts to bring attention to one fundamentally important, yet undervalued skill – listening.
 Dr. Bodie is an internationally recognized expert on listening and has published over 90 monographs, book chapters, and encyclopedia entries, along with three edited books. Dr. Bodie’s work has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, and on National Public Radio.

Don’t forget to register today for the National Week of Conversation at: conversation.us. You can participate as much or as little as you wish, and in many ways, both in person and online.

Sign the Listen First Pledge at: www.listenfirstproject.org/pledge

Get additional listening resources at:

• findingthewayout.startswith.us
• listenfirstproject.org
• greatergood.berkeley.edu
• livingroomconversations.org
• www.compassionatelistening.org 

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
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• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

How do we find our way back to recognizing, to remembering our shared humanity? It will take the efforts of many. It will take courage. It will take faith. It will take many approaches from many directions. You’ll find many of those approaches in episodes of Co-creating Peace, including this one. I know you will enjoy “Ubuntu Works”, Episode #113. 

Joining me again is Eric Sirotkin, my guest in Episode #99 “The Lawyer as Peacemaker”, & Episode #108 “Truth & Reconciliation – a Path to Forgiveness”. With him is Raphael Masesa from Capetown South Africa. Together, they bring us understandings about a way of seeing and a way of being, known as ubuntu.

Highlights include:

• Defining ubuntu
• Understanding how ubuntu manifests itself in everyday life
• Learning how ubuntu relates to indigenous law and peacemaking
• How active listening, dialogue (Episodes #93 & #94), Compassionate Listening (Episodes #95 & #96), and other ways of practicing deep listening and empathy can help build ubuntu in our lives.

Eric Sirotkin contributed to the dialogue on the new Constitution in South Africa, was a UN-sponsored election observer at President Mandela’s election, and coordinated an International Monitoring Project of the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Through this experience he learned about the wisdom of ubuntu and has integrated it into his work in North and South Korea and all areas of his life. Eric is the founder of The Ubuntuworks Project, which collaborates with organizations and individuals on research and strategies to move us locally and globally toward an era of ubuntu. To learn more about UbuntuWorks Project, visit: ubuntuworks.org.  Donate to the UbuntuWorks Project here. 

Raphael Chisubo Masesa has been teaching Indigenous law and Integrative law, among others at the University of the Western Cape and the IIE Varsity College for more than 15 years. He is a Board member of UbuntuWorks Project. Learn more about Raphael Chisubo Masesa at: linkedin.com/in/chisubo 

Special note: Beginning in April, Co-creating Peace will go to a twice-monthly schedule, airing on the 2nd and 4th weekends of each month.  I hope you will join me on the 2nd and 4th weekend of every month.

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

Welcome to “Speaking of Listening.....”, Episode #112 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication & conflict transformation.

The last couple of episodes of this podcast have been about listening. I’m continuing that in this episode as a lead-up to two important and related upcoming events: 

• Finding the Way Out Challenge  is an invitation to look deeply but kindly within yourself by completing a 4-week Challenge of daily five-minute tasks, and to work with others to fight the toxic division that’s tearing our country apart. (IMPORTANT: Register at https://findingthewayout.startswith.us by March 20 to fully participate) This is the perfect opportunity to prepare you to join thousands of Americans during the National Week of Conversation in April. Learn more & register at: https://findingthewayout.startswith.us. 

• National Week of Conversation – April 17-23, 2023 – To learn more about this annual event and how you can participate, visit: https://conversation.us

There is an unmet need that many of us experience. You’ve heard me speak about it before. It is the need to feel heard, to be acknowledged for who we are and how we perceive the world – without being judged or condemned simply because we are who we are and believe what we believe. In the world we live in today with all the uncertainty, fear and conflict, it’s getting more and more difficult to get that need met.

Fortunately, there are organizations out there who are dedicated to helping people learn to hear one another without judgement and condemnation. One of those – Living Room Conversations is an organization that helps people to have safe, peaceful, comfortable conversations about the kinds of issues that we find disagreement about, that we feel a great deal of passion about.

This week, I’m replaying Episode #89 – “Living Room Conversations: Connecting Across Divides” my interview with Annie Caplan from Living Room Conversations to remind you of the insights and tools she shared with us to help you get ready for the Finding the Way Out Challenge & the National Week of Conversation.

Highlights of our conversation include:

•  dialogue ≠ debate
• understanding doesn’t require agreement
• the value of listening to learn & understand
• how suspending judgement can help us gain new insights

You can access all the Living Room Conversations resources here: https://livingroomconversations.org/and access their Conversation Agreementsat: https://livingroomconversations.org/conversation_agreements 

Contact Annie Caplan directly at: [email protected]

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

Welcome to “The Power of the Pause" (Episode #79 Redux), Episode #111 of Co-creating Peace, a podcast series about conscious communication and conflict transformation.  

Last week, in Episode #110, “Mindful Spacious Listening”, Alan Carroll & I talked about creating the space in a conversation for another person to fully share what they want us to hear, and creating the space within our awareness to deeply hear them. During our conversation, I was reminded of an earlier episode of this podcast from July of last year, which was titled “The Power of the Pause”, and included a conversation I had with Howard Falco, a listener on Wisdom App. I decided to revive that episode as a sequel to last week’s because the information builds so well on the conversation Alan and I had. I hope this helps reinforce in your mind the immeasurable value of creating space for deeper understanding in your conversations with others.

Highlights include:

• Creating and harvesting space between stimulus and response as a portal for our wisdom
• How implementing the Iroquois Rule of 6 from the perspective of the Neutral Observer within us creates greater opportunity to wiser responses
• What's most important is not who you were, but who do you want to be now?
• Recognizing that we can use the Power of the Pause to consciously decide who we want to be

To learn more about Howard Falco, my guest on Wisdom App, visit his website: www.howardfalco.com. 

Visit: Wisdom App, to download the app to your Apple or Android device.

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics & guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges & receive free communication coaching.
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

Are the words in your head crowding out the messages others are trying to get across to you? Is thinking about what you’re going to say in response blocking what they need you to know from getting through to you? Do your judgements get in the way of deeply hearing another person? Have you noticed that you often misunderstand what a person is trying to tell you, resulting in hurt feelings or conflict?

There is a remedy for this: Mindful Spacious Listening. 

Last week, Alan Carroll, an educational psychologist specializing in trans-personal psychology, joined me to talk about Mindful Spacious Speaking, which is enhanced by Mindful Spacious Listening. This week, Alan helps us to have more of the Mindful Spacious communication picture, by sharing some of the tools & wisdoms of Mindful Spacious Listening.

Enjoy “Mindful Spacious Listening”, Episode #110. 

Highlights of our conversation include:

• Recognizing that deep listening is a gift that requires sacrifice by foregoing our response to reflect what we heard instead
• The power of creating a safe space for what the person is saying to exist without judgement
• How important it is to clear our head of our thoughts to allow the space for mindful spacious listening.

Other episodes of Co-creating Peace about different kinds of listening are:

• “I See You” – Episode #6
•  “Hear Them” – Episode #9
•  “The Power of the Pause”, Episode #79
•  “Acknowledge, Reflect, Be Curious”, Episode #86
•  “The Heart is our Compass: Compassionate Listening in Polarized Times” Part 1, Episode #95 & Part 2, Episode #96
•  “Working with Our Empathic Abilities”, Episode #106

To learn more about Mindful Spacious communication, Alan Carroll, and his work, visit: acamindfulyou.com. 

Alan's social media links:

• Business:   https://www.facebook.com/AlanCarrolltrains
• LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/company/aca-mindful-you/
• Web Site:   www.acamindfulyou.com

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics & guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges & receive free communication coaching.
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace 

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

Have you ever felt bombarded by words – perhaps the words someone is speaking to you, or the words in your head crowding each other to be spoken? Words spoken to quickly are often absent of mindfulness and the wisdom that comes with that, and may not allow the listener the opportunity to fully absorb the message the words are intended to convey. The depth and potential of understanding can be diminished when words are delivered in an onslaught.

There is a remedy for this. The remedy is two-fold, consisting of Mindful Spacious Speaking and Mindful Spacious Listening. 

Joining me to tell us about these practices is Alan Carroll, an educational psychologist specializing in trans-personal psychology, and founder of Alan Carroll & Associates. 

Enjoy “Mindful Spacious Speaking”, Episode #109 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. 

Some of the highlights of our conversation include:

• Defining Mindful Spacious Speaking
• The benefits of creating space in our communication
• Deepak Chopra’s S-T-O-P technique: Stop, Take three deep breaths, Observe your breath & your body, and Proceed with awareness and compassion.
• The 3 “legs” of the articulation “stool”: clarity, impact & fluidity

Alan Carroll is an Educational Psychologist who specializes in Trans-personal Psychology. He founded Alan Carroll & Associates 30 years ago and has dedicated his life in search of mindfulness tools that can be used by everyone (young and old) to transform their ability to speak at a professional level, reduce the psychological suffering caused by the mis-identification with our ego, and reconnect to the vast transcendent dimension of consciousness that lies just on the other side of the thoughts we think and in between the words we speak. Alan is a successful public speaker, trainer, coach & corporate consultant. He and his team have delivered the Mindfulness in Action workshops in over 50 countries since 1983. 

Join us again next week, when Alan and I will discuss Mindful Spacious Listening, a practice to deepen understanding and enrich relationships of all kinds, personal, professional, and even those that last for just a moment in time.

To learn more about Mindful Spacious Speaking, Alan Carroll, and his work, visit: acamindfulyou.com. 

Alan's social media links:

• Personal:   https://www.facebook.com/alan.carroll.7359
• Business:   https://www.facebook.com/AlanCarrolltrains
• LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/company/aca-mindful-you/
• Web Site:   www.acamindfulyou.com

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics & guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges & receive free communication coaching.
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

Conflict comes in many shapes and sizes. Peacemakers must constantly look for creative approaches to resolving and transforming conflict. These approaches and their methods must be adapted to the context and nature of the conflict as well as to the people involved and, often, the culture of those people.

Is it possible to resolve or transform conflict, and find healing and restoration when the conflict involves large groups of people, such as communities, tribes, armies, or even nations, and where travesties have been committed against people, many of them innocent civilians and children? 

Please enjoy “Truth & Reconciliation”, Episode #108 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. 

There are many good people out there in the world, using wise and powerful methods to do just that. One of those methods is called the Truth and Reconciliation Process. Eric Sirotkin, an attorney and mediator in Santa Fe, NM and my guest for Episode #99 of this podcast, joins me again to give us some insights into the Truth and Reconciliation Commissions, the powerful work they have done, and how much more there is yet to do.

Conversation highlights:

•  The work of Truth and Reconciliation Commissions around the world and within the United States 

•  The role of forgiveness, accountability and making right (Amnesty Process, Human Rights Commission, and Reparations)

•  Eric’s experiences in South Africa and later in Korea with the TRC processes 

•  The importance of understanding that Truth & Reconciliation is a long-term process that must continue over time, even when government leaders change.

•  Forgiveness doesn’t mean we have to, or even should, forget.

Eric Sirotkin’s work around the world, including with Archbishop Tutu, Truth and Reconciliation Commissions, and restorative justice processes has led him on a mission to reframe the law by retraining lawyers on Creative Tools to expand their skillset and humanize their profession. He teaches techniques to survive and thrive in the us vs them world of law, helping lawyers gain an understanding of the nature of human relationships. 

To learn more about Truth and Reconciliation Commissions, visit these websites:

•  Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada
•  Truth and Reconciliation Commission, South Africa
•  Truth and Reconciliation Commission, Republic of Korea
•  EricSirtokin.com

Please support Co-creating Peace by becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace. Thank you!

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

A common cause of conflict between adult siblings and their parents is how the parents’ assets are, or will be, distributed. In this era of aging baby boomers, many of whom are making their end-of-life arrangements, this issue seems to be coming up even more frequently. Some parents choose to distribute some of their assets before they die, which can get mixed reactions from their children.

This isn’t as straightforward as some people imagine it to be. The concerns and upset aren’t always exclusively about the tangible assets. Complex emotional issues, sometimes going back to childhood experiences, often play into the dynamic as well. Because of that complexity, there isn’t a formulated path to peace in these situations. The best approach may be different for every family, possibly even for every child in that family. That said, there are tools such as Emotional Intelligence, Conscious Communication, and even negotiation which will be useful regardless of the individual situation.

I hope you enjoy “Inheriting Resentment”, Episode #107 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. 

Today’s episode is a communication coaching session with a long-time fan of this podcast who wants some guidance on how to help her family work through conflict around her mother’s distribution of her assets. 

Highlights of our conversation include:

• Applying Conscious Communication 
• Broadening our goal for the outcome of a conversation to allow for greater possibilities
• Listening to understand, rather than to gain ammunition to convince
• Helpful ways to reflect what you hear

I hope that hearing this conversation with Sarah will be helpful to you. Please feel free to contact me if you would like to explore the possibility of receiving some communication coaching. If you would like to receive 1 or 2 free 30-minute communication coaching sessions, I invite you to come on the show for your communication coaching session, as Sarah did. This will be of benefit to our listeners, as well as to you, because many people share the same challenges as you do and can benefit from our conversation. You are welcome to change your name and the names of those involved to preserve your privacy.

Email me at [email protected] to learn more.
Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics & guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges & receive free communication coaching.
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace 

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

People have a wide range of sensitivities. Some have very little sensitivity to what’s going on around them or within others. Some people have such a high level of sensitivity to the experiences of others that they have a hard time differentiating other peoples’ internal experiences from their own.

Jennifer Moore, author of Empathic Mastery joins us to share some insights into that experience, and how it can affect our relationships with others and our approach to conflict.

I know you will enjoy “Working with Our Empathic Abilities”, Episode #106 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. 

Highlights of our conversation include:

• The difference between having empathy and being empathic 
• The importance of empaths having multiple types of boundaries
• Some of the ways that highly sensitive and empathic people can support their psychological and energetic wellbeing.
• How EFT can help us in working with our emotions and those we are picking up from others (more info on EFT in Episode #70 of this podcast)

Jennifer Moore is author of Amazon Bestseller Empathic Mastery, Founder and Headmistress of the Empathic Mastery Academy & Fairy Godmother Apprenticeship Program and Host of the Empathic Mastery Show Podcast. She's a Master Trainer for EFT International and a mentor and healer for other highly sensitive empathic women.  Learn more about Jennifer and her work at empathicmastery.com. To learn more about her book, Empathic Mastery, go to: empathicmasterybook.com, or to listen to her podcast, the Empathic Mastery Show, head on over to empathicmasteryshow.com, which is all about the different ways that being highly sensitive and empathic impacts all aspects of our life, with tools and solutions to help empaths live a life of joy, delight, and thriving.

Jennifer has a Level 1 & 2 Professional EFT Training starting on Saturday, March 18th. This one time per year 11-week program can also serve as the first step towards certification through EFT International. For those who wish to become certified through EFT International, Jennifer also offers 1 on 1 mentoring to help you through the certification process. For more information about the training, visit: eftinstruction.com.  

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics & guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges & receive free communication coaching.
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

“Secrets to Sustainable Relationships, Part 2  – Living Relationally”, Episode #105 of Co-creating Peace, a series about conscious communication and conflict transformation. I’m Kathleen Oweegon.

Last week, in Episode #104 Nancy Pickard, a Master Integrative Life Coach, and I discussed the importance of setting healthy boundaries to help our relationships be sustainable. In a continuation of that conversation, Nancy & I explore how living relationally can support the sustainability of a relationship.

Highlights of our conversation include:

• What living relationally is
• Holding ourself and others in warm regard
• What to do when we get triggered
• How to approach conversation in times of upset

Splitting her time between Aspen, Colorado and Marin, California, Nancy is a certified Master Integrative Life Coach with a myriad of coaching certifications specializing in shadow work: Setting Healthy Boundaries, Healing your Heart, Bigger, Better, Braver, Parenting, Reinvention and Worthy to name many of them.

She is the author of the international best-selling book, Bigger Better Braver:  Conquer your fears, Embrace your courage, Transform your life. She offers a digital course and an online- zoom group coaching course featuring her book. Coaching others to step out of fear and into bigger versions of themselves is her passion.

To learn more about Nancy and her work, and to order her book, visit: nancypickardlifecoach.com. Contact Nancy at: [email protected]

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics & guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges & receive free communication coaching.
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

Share your thoughts, reactions, feedback & ideas with me. I'd love to hear from you!

Please support Co-creating Peace:

• Subscribe to Co-creating Peace on your favorite podcast provider
• Send me your ideas for topics and guests or be a guest to talk about your communication or conflict resolution challenges and receive free communication coaching
• Share on social media & tell the world about Co-creating Peace! 
• Become a patron at www.patreon.com/CocreatingPeace

 Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.