55% of the meaning of the communication is in our physiology, 38% in our voice tonality and only 7% in the words we’re using.After talking about Rapport meaning and importance during last episode, Karim explore the different means of communication in this episode, highlighting the above eye opening figures.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast.

In previous episode we started talking about the importance of rapport in any relationship and how it’s a must for the coach, since with no rapport with the coachee, it’s going to be difficult to stretch him and help him explore his potential. We also highlighted that, while the majority of people deal with rapport building in unconscious way, dealing with it at a conscious level will make a big difference and impact on the person’s life and the live of those he’s in rapport with them.

The question here is : what to consider in the person in front of us to build a good rapport with him.?

When it comes to communication, almost all of us use a language to share our thoughts, express our feeling or ask for directions. But the same text , in the same language shared by the same person can be understood in different ways by different people.

Let’s consider this communication: “ Oh, Thursday nigh show on the local TV”

Despite the simplicity of the text, when it comes to be shared, it can be understood positively, negatively, it can include anger, joy, happiness, disgust, mockery, …

And the reason is because 55% of the meaning of the communication is in our physiology, 38% of the communication is in our voice tonality and only 7% of the communication is in the words we’re using.

Let’s do a simple math, 55% + 38% = 93% , 93% of our communication is mostly done at an unconscious level, unless we’re paying attention to this life changing concept.

Most of us focus is on the words and we miss being attentive to the tonality of the voice and the physiology of the person who’s sharing the message.

“ We cannot not communicate” even when we are silent, we communicate, and the 100% of the communication is reflected by our body language. When we communicate by phone, like tele-sales people, 7% of our communication is words and 93% tonality

We always communicate, even with no words, in fact we mostly communicate with no words, even when we’re talking, so being intentional of other people physiology and voice tonality is extremely important for anyone, and it’s a must for the coach to get the right insight and build strong rapport.

Thank you for listening, in tomorrow’s episode and the last episode in the Rapport trilogy, we’ll talk about how we use this information of different means of communication to build rapport with other.

That’s all for today, thank you all for listening, keep growing and bye for now.

During this Episode and the coming 2 ones, Karim will talk about Rapport building. In this first one the focus will be on the meaning of rapport and how important it to deal with it at a conscious level, for coaches, and for anyone who’s in an interaction with others, professionally and personally.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast.

In previous episode, we explored the Presupposition of Professional Coaching, and one of the shared presuppositions was : “Resistance in a participant is a sign of a lack of Rapport”, so what is rapport and how we build it. This is our topic for today, so let’s explore it.

Having good rapport with someone is synonym to be highly sensitive to his moods, responses and reactions, in fact you’re highly connected that you can see and expect things from him that even the person himself can’t see or expect. And that’s what making rapport a fundamental skill in relationships.

In coaching the effectiveness of your coaching is a direct proportion of the level of relationship and rapport with the client. In other words, the success in achieving the client outcome from the coaching relationship depends at a high level of the rapport you have with him and the rapport he’s having with you.

As when you have good rapport you’ll know how and when to stretch your client and how and when to follow up with him and help him reach the best of his potential.

When it comes to rapport, we always consider how to build rapport, and it’s funny how we usually pay attention only when we have lack of rapport or loose our rapport with someone or with our client we don’t consider it before.

We feel that we loose the spark we usually have from the client, we feel it when there’s no bond, a broken link is there.

And that’s way when it comes to rapport, awareness and intentionality is key to keep a good rapport, we need to always feed and work on the relationship and pay attention to each and every detail shared or expressed by the other person, to take it into consideration when dealing with him.

Finally, and before finishing today’s episode about Rapport, it’s important to highlight that building rapport, can start before even meeting the person for the first time.

This happen, by paying attention to the email sent by the client or other person, how it is written (Long, short, style) or the phone message content or even the way he talk during the first phone call, tonality, level of voice and other related details.

In our daily life, during their daily interaction people tend to build and develop rapport unconsciously, without paying attention or being aware. Being intentional and conscious in building that rapport is one of the most powerful skills that can change the life of a persona and those around him.

Be intentional in building rapport.

That’s all for today, In tomorrow’s episode we’re gonna talk about the different aspects to consider in order to build rapport . Thank you all for listening. Keep growing and bye for now.

One of the most and important and no optional foundation of coaching is Trust, how it increases the efficiency of the coaching partnership and we build it intentionally. This is what Karim will talk about during today’s episode.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast

One of the most and important and no optional foundation of coaching is Trust. In fact, not only in coaching, trust is the solid ground on which any relationship should be built on. Whether within a couple, a family, a sports team or an organization. In fact when it comes to Organizational employees behavior, there’s a clear correlation between the level of trust and the Employees job performance.

I’m sure anyone who had the chance to experience working in any corporate before, knows how the employees behave when they don’t trust the top management and when they behave when they trust them, they simply stop playing the detective around their bosses and do the extra mile even when they are not asked for

Within a coaching relationship, where the coach most work will be helping the client dig deep in his subconscious mind, to look for answers, insights, solutions and option, Trust is the filter used by conscious mind to allow this passage to the emotional mind.

If the coach is not able or didn’t spend enough time or effort to connect with the person and gain his trust, the subconscious gate keeper (Hired by the conscious mind) will not allow him the person himself to pass and think deeply and share.

Think about the CEO of one of the big organizations you want to meet, if you call suddenly , or come without appointment, the lady in the front desk will never let you pass, you need to show proof of connection or relationship, or any previous successful contact with the CEO to have access.

The same is happening with the subconscious collaboration of your client. You need to spend efforts to connect to grant a safe place where he can open up, think and share without being worried.

To build this trust, and I insist on the word build, as trust is not something that happen suddenly, or something we can buy, we build it brick by brick.

We build trust by showing care

We build trust by saying the truth,

We build trust by admitting when you don’t know something

We build trust by complying with our commitment and respecting our promises

we build trust by being authentic

we build trust by listening intentionally at a high level

we build trust by trusting first, the other person

we build trust by being intentional in building the trust.

In any project in your life a solid foundation is key for success, and a foundation strength depend in big part of the level of trust exchanged between your self and those around you in this journey.

Thank you for your trust, Thank you for listening, keep growing. And Bye for now.

During this episode, Karim go through some of the criteria’s and behavior of a coach, as despite the fact of the way coaching industry is growing, they still not clear for so many, whether coaches or clients.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast.

Despite the fact that Coaching is one of the most growing industry in the world, knowing what a coach do and how a coach behave is still ambiguous for so many.

I’ll invite you during today’s episode to think about an imaginary person , let’s call him K for the sake of the practice, considering a list of criteria’s we’ll go through together.

Now, imagine that when K is with you, whether physically or virtually, his full focus is on you, and no one else , nothing else than you.

We went through the level of listening in previous episodes, so think of K when with you listening at a third level of listening. He’s not only listening to your words but paying attention to your behavior, body language and even the speed of your breath, he’s totally immersed with you, at a level that he can expect you’re next interaction.

Now think about K as someone who’s very committed to your dreams, goals and vison, and want you to achieve them, sometime more than you.

Think about K as someone who’re accepting you as you are, someone not judging you, even on the weirdest things that you share.

Now imagine K as the person who believes the most in you and your capability, more than you believe in yourself.

Think about K as someone, who’s taking into consideration all what you share with him

Now think about K as the most trustful person in your life, a person you’re sure he’s never going to share your secrets. A safe person .

Finally think about K as someone who’re gonna wait and wait and wait for you to think and take all the time you need to reply to or interact with him.

This is how a Good coach behave and Act. This is the person you may need and prefer to be with during your journey towards your goal.

If you’re a coach listing to us today, never miss an opportunity to share with other what a coach is, as in order to get the chance to hep other and change their lives, they need first to know who you are and what you stand for,

So that’s all for today. Thank you all, keep growing. And Bye for now.

During this episode, Karim talks about Growth and the wrong belief that growth is automatic. Karim highlights also the challenges of the growth journey.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast

We’re almost closing 2020, and heading to a new great year 2021, what’s your growth plane ?

If we let our growth to come automatically, it will never come, in fact whatever we’re thinking we’ll let it come automatically will come the way others decide for it.

That’s a simple reality, if we’re not deciding, someone else will decide for us, whether when it comes to where to spend our holiday, which school to send our kids or what car to drive.

There’s always someone ready to decide for us, and if we don’t step up and take the lead , he’ll be more than happy to do so, as this is what fits best in his plan.

This is the same when it comes to growth, if we’re not intentional on what we want, to achieve, what we want to lean, who we want to become, someone outside is having already a plan for his life and he’s having a good option for us that benefit his plan.

It happen when we are still children , and that’s ok, but gradually when growing, we need to change that belief that someone else will manage our life

Growth is not automatic, it was never and it will never be, growth is a choice and it needs a plan, and certain level of awareness to know exactly where are we now and where we want to go.

As growth is a process discipline and consistency are needed to keep a growth pace, and I feel obliged to let know that this is maybe the most hard or biggest challenge for anyone who decide to step up and be intentional to grow and develop himself to become better.

Growth is linked to change and most of the people hate change. As change is liked with letting go the habits that we built them for years, change means going out of our comfort zone, and that’s not easy, that’s why the big crowd hates it, and what the big crowd will do when someone will start thinking and acting differently, they will do all what they can to let him feel bad about what he’s doing, they will do all the things that you can imagine and those you can’t imagine, just to keep you with them.

Not because they care about you, Not because they don’t want you to get hurt, not because they don’t want you to jump in the unknown, No at all. They are just doing this to not feel bad about themselves, in case you succeed and become better.

Thinking growth is a first step to take, having plane is what will put you on the right rail, being consistent is your fuel to exponential growth.

Enjoy the journey, and be bold, you may be alone in the begging, but be sure, that you’ll attract your tribe along the way.

Thank you all for listening , keep growing. And Bye for now.

During this Episode, Karim explore one of the hot topics in business building: The life duration of business and how to succeed overcoming the first 5 years test and the first 10 years test.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast

Today we’ll talk about one of the greatest mistakes, many business owners and startup fall into it, whether they are coaches, dentists or mechanics.

As for US, only 20% of new business make it after 5 years of their implementation, and for those who resisted these first 5 years, only 20% resist for 5 more years, making it a percentage of only 4% chance to continue after 10 years.

This is the figure in US, and it’s funny how the same figure doesn’t change since over a century, despite the fact of development, technology, internet and all the good and bad innovations we’re experiencing.

Why?

To answer that question, many answers and many reasons are behind this fact, but one of the most important one is the concept and mindset of the business builder, or business owner. One of the most common process of opening a business, start by an employee with certain skill, who feels that it’s worthless spending all his efforts at his actual job, where his boss is getting the big cake while he’s waiting always for end of the month to get his small cheque. So far things are ok, and being ambitious is an asset.

What usually happen next is the problem, the employee quit his job, and start his business, to become business owner, and planning to do all the things in his business, at least, for a year or so, until the business grow.

With no management background, no entrepreneurial vision, and only a good technical skill, our great technician found him self struggling between doing the technical part, managing his sales, after sales, marketing, website, … and trying to find the best opportunity in the market, but unfortunately he’s not qualified for any of them.

The rest of story, I’m sure you know it, as each of us has for sure a friend, a family member or someone he knows who went through this process, that usually ends up the business owner closing his business, and going back looking for employment, even with less advantages then the one he quit not long time back.

For the proper success of any business, identifying the different hats needed, which are at least the Manager, the Entrepreneur and the Technician, and putting in place the right mechanism and people to cover them, is essential.

It happen that we start a business by ourselves only, but we need to be fully aware of the different functionalities needed and put a plan how to cover them in the future, even if we start by doing them ourselves for a couple of weeks or months.

No one can do it by himself, it needs a team to sustain a business and keep moving it forward.

Thank you all for listening.

Enjoy the rest of your day , keep growing and bye for now.

During this Episode, Karim describes the 3 level of listening, and highlights the importance of listening skill for everyone.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast

Today we’ll talk about one of the important skills, very rewarding for anyone who learn it and a must have for coaches. The art of listening.

In previous podcasts we highlighted that coaching is the art of asking question, in fact questions are the main tool and best friend of a coach. A guitarist needs a guitar to perform, a singer needs a mic, a cycling guy needs a bike and a coach needs questions, but not any questions, we need curious, explorative, open ended questions to be able to help people.

Now Mastering this art of questions, will lead nowhere, if not accompanied with the second most important art, which is listening. If we ask a question and not listen to the other person answer, I guess it’s better not to ask it.

There’s different levels of listening , the first level of listening is when you ask the question, and you are just waiting for the client or the person you’ve asked to finish talking, so that you finish sharing your thoughts.In fact the other person is talking by your mind is processing your personal thoughts. It’s more into hearing, not listening. It’s kind of being engaged with our inner voice, totally disconnected from the other person talking.

The second level of listening is where we have full focus on the person in front, In fact we’re listening and also paying attention to his body language, facial expression, and the tone of the voice to know the impact of what the person’s sharing on him. This way the listener or coach can get the real meaning of the words.

The Third level of listening is a 360 degree listening, this is when we’re listening with our whole body, it’s when being completely immersed in the client world. This is when you’ll feel the client in depth and he’s gonna feel so and will lead to high level of connection, and openness that bring great insights. This is when you reach the level to know what the client will share next .

In coaching, how you listen is what will make the difference between good and great coaches, being at the level 3 of listening, will not only help connecting better with the client, but also get the right questions to answer, as you’re in flow with your client.

How was your listening to today’s episode ?

Enjoy the rest of your day , keep growing and bye for now.

During this episode, Karim highlights the importance of focusing on one project, of one specialty to reach the pick performance, and how cancelling and stopping projects is as important as getting new projects.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast

I’m gonna start this episode with a Russian proverb, some people said it’s Chinese, but wherever it is from the lesson is great and is the same:

“ If you chase 2 rabbits… you will not catch either one”

Today we’re going to talk about the importance of narrowing your activities and tasks to the minimum to increase your achievement and productivity. In fact deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do, while most of as focus mostly on the second part, thinking always what to do more, what to do next.

The efficiency of this concept of narrowing the focus and deciding what to stop doing, was the key that Steve jobs used to save Apple when he came back 1997, he simply took a massive action and stopped 70% of the projects that apple was working on them at that time, knowing that many of them were good projects.

It is hard to think differently,

it’s hard to say No to opportunities,

it’s hard to decline good ideas,

but this is what is needed to increase your efficiency in your prioritized project.

To put it in simple words, you need to give up good things to go up and achieve greatness.

Now physically speaking, when comparing the effect of an amount of force applied on one point to the effect of the same amount of force distributed on a big surface, the difference is clear, as the second one will have almost no effect since it will be divided on all the surface.

The same this is applied to your efforts and energy, thinking and concentration, when you’re fully focused on one project, all what you’re doing during your day will help in achieve that project.

When you are working on it and thinking , you’ll not have your conscious mind interrupted or disturbed by other projects, when you’re receiving emails, they will be linked to the same, and when you sleep by night, your subconscious mind will continue analyzing and processing the work when you’re sleeping to serve with new insight when you wake up. That’s in simple word the difference between focusing on one project or action vs working on so many.

For us as Entrepreneurs, it’s may be one of the hardest things to comply with, as we’re wired to deal with many projects, and this is feasible when we have a good team around us, a team, to whom we can fully delegate other projects, to be their one project, so that they act in full potential and we act in full potential.

So before saying good by,

What’s the one project, or specialty that you need to focus fully in it the coming weeks or months?

Thank you all for listening , keep growing. And Bye for now.

During this Episode Karim talks about the importance of positioning for coaching business and any other business, and how dealing with coaching packages helps coaches in short and long terms

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast

We spoke in previous episodes about the different types of coaching and Coaches, and we highlighted that selecting what type of coach and what niche to serve is a choice to be done by the coach. This first selection is in fact a first stage in positioning concept.

Whether we’re talking about companies, schools, universities or chiropractor, positioning is a very important concept, that in most of the cases will directly affect the health and wealth of the business during it’s whole life.

The good thing about positioning is that same as the type of coaching, where to position yourself in the market is your choice. This choice includes what category of people you will serve, what area of the city you will serve, are you going to be a B2B or B2C, what quality of product you’re going to serve and what fees you’re going to charge. And one more feature is what packages you’re offering.

When it comes to packages, many coaches are very flexible on the duration of coaching partnership. From one month, to 6 sessions, and the range is big. Choosing to deal via clear packages of coaching will position you as product supplier, not services, as you’ll have 2 or 3 packages that you’re offering to your client, with clear price, terms and condition.

Using packages brings with it lots of advantages, like the fact of having a clear idea from the beginning on the coaching duration and the best timeframe strategy to make it fruitful.

Packages also leads to be paid at the beginning of the contract, unlike other deals. With packages also, when you finish your program and your client is satisfied , a direct opportunity for a whole package renewal happen, and here you gain again the previously mentioned advantages.

I wanna finish today session, by highlighting again, that positioning and dealing with packages is a choice, yes it’s sometimes hard to decline clients requests when they are not in line with your packages, but this refusal is what will bring you the right clients.

So that’s all for today. Thank you all for listening, keep growing. And Bye for now.

During this episode, Karim go through the different types of coaching, and clarify how independently of the type of coach we are, in most of the cases we need to deal with the client in a wholestic way.

— Transcript —

Hey what’s up everybody, this is Karim Amri. Welcome to Coaching Secrets Podcast

Today, we’re going to talk about something, that I usually got asked about from my coaching students, and in fact it’s also a question that maybe a lot of other doesn’t dare to ask, or avoid to ask.

What type of coach you are, and what type of coach you need, and what are the types of coaching.

If we do a simple search on the internet we’ll found lots of options, I’m not going to mention al of them now, but here’s some of the mostly common ones:

Life CoachBusiness CoachExecutive CoachCareer CoachStrategic CoachLeadership CoachWellness CoachNLP CoachParenting CoachADHD CoachHappinessRelationship CoachHigh performance CoachPersonal Development CoachTeam CoachTransformation CoachBehavior CoachPersonality Coach

The list is bigger than that, but that’s not the goal of this episode. May be in later episodes we can elaborate in details on the features of each one of them, but for today, I want to highlight that independently f the type of coaching, the concept of the coaching is the same, since thousands of years,

Yes, it’s true that the name of coaching and the intentional use of it started basically with the AHA moment and discovery made by Tim Galwey, but the same concept was highlighted by Socrates, over 400 BC, and it’s funny how he predicted that the concept was difficult to accept and believe, which was true, and it took years for human being to accept and apply coaching in each feature and phase of life.

Socrates said in his words at that time: “ I know you won’t believe me , but the highest form of human excellence is to question oneself and others”

So in fact Coaching is the art of asking questions, good questions that helps the other person think and discover the best answer within, the right question that will lead to unleash the potential of the person.

The right question that the leadership coach ask to help his client find the leader within, and that the business coach ask to help the CEO identify the right strategy to apply.

All coaching types, start from the same concept, and background of believing the other person is full of potential and that by asking him curious and explorative question, we’ll help him identify the right things to do to achieve his desired outcome. Whether it’s business growth, good parenting, or happiness.

Gradually Coaches, find themselves more attractive to certain type of coaching, or sometimes even before they start the journey of learning the skill, but at the end it’s initially a choice what coach you want to be, and later you’ll start getting better and better confident in that field, and position yourself as an expert in that niche.

I finally want to add that a business coach, who’s client have parenting challenges affecting his decision making efficiency at work, needs to consider helping him work on that before moving to the technical business side, it’s a wholestic approach, that luckily the coach is well equipped to tackle it, as the background is the same.

So that’s all for today. Thank you all for listening , keep growing. And Bye for now.