Pathological AltruismCo-dependency, or pathological altruism as we like to call it, is unhealthy in marriage, but how do you know it’s there? It can turn a once healthy marriage into a bad one and often leads to divorce. How does co-dependency affect marriage and divorce? And how do you figure out if you’re co-dependent or part of the problem?On today’s show, we have Mary Joye, licensed mental health counselor and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator, joining us to talk about co-dependency, divorce, recovery, and more. It’s hard to break that trauma bond, as Mary points out. So what can you do to recognize yourself as being pathological altruistic? How does co-dependency rear its ugly head during marriage? Divorce? Mediation? And how do you avoid going down the same roads later in life? Mary talks to us about the challenges of becoming self-aware, but how important it is in making it to the other side of co-dependency. Tune in!Links & Notes

• Mary’s book Codependent Discovery and Recovery 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Healing and Freeing Yourself
• Winter Haven Counseling
• Mary on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
• Mary’s Author Page
• Mary’s Course ‘From Codependent to Independent’

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (00:26) - Meet Mary Joye
• (01:40) - What Is Co-Dependency?
• (04:10) - DSM 5
• (05:25) - Co-Dependence & Marriage
• (07:31) - The Fog of Co-Dependency
• (08:55) - Signs of Trauma Bonds
• (13:09) - Co-Dependence in the Divorce Process
• (14:11) - Waking Up
• (15:24) - Deconstructing / Reconstructing
• (18:51) - Do Opposites Attract?
• (20:20) - Sponsor: Soberlink
• (21:53) - The Divorce Process
• (31:08) - Demeanor Post-Divorce
• (32:40) - Danger of Repeating
• (35:01) - Make a List
• (36:48) - Fighting For You
• (38:08) - Example of Self-Destructive Behavior
• (41:25) - Mediation and Co-Dependence
• (48:25) - Wrapping Up