Your Burning Divorce Questions: Expert Answers for Real-Life Situations

As part of this season's deep dive into "Your Divorce Case," Pete Wright and family law attorney Seth Nelson tackle listener questions spanning complex financial arrangements to sensitive custody matters. Their insights provide practical guidance for navigating the intricate landscape of divorce proceedings.

Real Solutions for Modern Divorce Challenges

This episode explores creative solutions to modern divorce challenges, from managing shared living spaces post-divorce to handling delicate relationship transitions. Through real-world examples, Seth and Pete address concerns about property division, co-parenting, and legal documentation, offering actionable advice while emphasizing the importance of proper legal guidance.

Listener Questions Covered:

• Post-divorce cohabitation: Managing shared home ownership with a low interest rate
• Dating during slow-moving divorce proceedings: Understanding potential consequences
• International divorce complications: Handling custody with a foreign national spouse
• Reunification therapy timeline: What to expect in the healing process
• Documenting parental alienation: Effective strategies for court
• Catholic annulment concerns: Managing religious and legal proceedings
• Creative settlement options: Handling significant age gap divorces
• Legal annulment vs. divorce: Understanding the differences and requirements
• Enforcing custody agreements: Dealing with violations and discovery requests

Why This Episode Matters

The episode delivers valuable insights for anyone facing divorce, whether dealing with unique living arrangements, complex financial situations, or challenging custody scenarios. Seth and Pete's practical approach and clear explanations make complex legal concepts accessible while emphasizing the importance of making informed decisions throughout the divorce process.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Demystifying the Appraisal Process in Divorce

Seth and Pete dive deep into the complex world of appraisals during divorce proceedings. Whether you're dealing with real estate, wine collections, artwork, or vintage electronics, understanding how items are valued can significantly impact your divorce settlement.

Getting your assets properly appraised is crucial for fair distribution in a divorce, but timing and strategy matter. Seth and Pete explore the differences between full appraisals and market analyses, when to get items appraised, and how to handle situations where collections or assets may be damaged or hidden. Through real examples and practical scenarios, they break down the systematic approach professional appraisers use to determine value.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• When is the best time during divorce proceedings to get items appraised?
• Should both parties get separate appraisals or share one appraiser?
• How do courts handle significant differences between competing appraisals?

Key Takeaways:

• Start the appraisal process early, especially for valuable collections
• Document everything with photos and receipts before moving items
• For items you want to keep, lower valuations work in your favor during settlement

This episode provides essential knowledge for anyone navigating property division in divorce. Seth and Pete offer practical guidance on protecting your interests while maintaining transparency in the appraisal process. Their discussion of real-world cases and strategic considerations makes complex appraisal concepts accessible and actionable.Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

The Art of Divorce Depositions: Strategy, Preparation, and Success

In this episode of the season-long "Your Divorce Case" series, Seth and Pete tackle one of the most crucial elements of divorce proceedings: depositions. As Seth notes, depositions are where cases can be won or lost, making this episode essential listening for anyone facing divorce proceedings.

The discussion reveals the strategic chess game that unfolds during depositions, from how attorneys prepare their clients to the careful dance of questions and answers. Seth shares insights from his years of experience, explaining why depositions are his favorite part of legal proceedings and how proper preparation can make all the difference. The episode covers everything from the basic structure of a deposition to advanced techniques for handling difficult questions, all while emphasizing the importance of authenticity and honesty in your responses.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What rules should I follow when answering deposition questions?
• How do attorney objections work during a deposition?
• What rights do I have if questioning becomes hostile?

Key Takeaways:

• Listen carefully and only answer exactly what's asked
• Take your time reviewing documents
• Stay authentic - don't try to outsmart the process

This episode provides invaluable insights for anyone facing a deposition, offering both practical guidance and strategic understanding. Seth's enthusiasm for the deposition process, combined with real-world examples, makes complex legal concepts accessible and actionable for listeners.

Links & Notes

• Tune in to our Deposition Prep episode!
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

In this episode of our Your Divorce Case series, Seth and Pete explore the crucial role of Guardian Ad Litems (GALs) in custody cases. This episode breaks down how these court-appointed representatives work to protect children's interests during custody disputes, while navigating complex legal challenges like hearsay rules that can limit their effectiveness.

The discussion centers on when and why courts appoint GALs, how they gather and present information, and their impact on custody decisions. Seth and Pete examine the limitations GALs face when presenting evidence from teachers, medical professionals, and other third parties, offering practical solutions for overcoming these obstacles. They also provide valuable insights into how parents can effectively work with GALs, including proper communication strategies and the importance of showing balanced perspectives about custody challenges.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• When should you request a Guardian Ad Litem in your custody case?
• How can hearsay rules affect your GAL's effectiveness?
• What role do GALs play in the court's final custody decisions?

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding hearsay rules is crucial for effective GAL testimony
• Successful GAL relationships require honest, organized communication from parents
• Courts heavily weigh GAL recommendations, though they're not bound by them

This episode provides essential knowledge for parents navigating custody disputes. Whether you're considering requesting a GAL or have been assigned one, understanding their role, limitations, and the legal framework they operate within can significantly impact your case's outcome. Seth and Pete's practical advice offers valuable guidance for parents in the divorce process.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Inside the Mediation Room: Understanding the Process with Family Law Mediator Tami Sbar

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, part of the season-long series Your Divorce Case, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome back family law mediator Tami Sbar to dive deep into the mediation process. With 35 years of legal experience, Tami shares her unique perspective as a neutral party who helps divorcing couples reach agreements outside the courtroom. This episode builds on last week's discussion about mediation preparation, offering valuable insights into what actually happens during mediation sessions.

Seth and Pete explore with Tami how mediation differs from courtroom proceedings, particularly in how it empowers couples to make their own decisions. Tami explains her role as a neutral facilitator rather than a decision-maker, and describes how she works with couples separately to help them reach mutually beneficial agreements. The conversation covers everything from managing power imbalances to handling emotional reactions, while providing practical examples of how mediators can help bridge communication gaps between divorcing partners.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What exactly does a mediator do during divorce proceedings?
• How do mediators handle situations with significant power imbalances?
• Can mediation address issues that courts can't enforce, like college expenses?

Key Takeaways:

• Mediators work as neutral facilitators, not judges or decision-makers
• Keeping parties in separate rooms often leads to better outcomes
• Successful mediation requires both parties to be emotionally ready to settle

Plus, we tackle another listener question! A parent asks about handling college expenses in states where courts don't address them, particularly when one parent previously promised to cover costs through inheritance. Seth and Tami discuss various solutions, from establishing trusts to creating detailed agreements with specific timeframes and conditions.

Whether you're considering mediation or already scheduled for it, this episode provides crucial insights into the process. Tami's experienced perspective, combined with Seth and Pete's practical advice, offers valuable guidance for anyone navigating divorce mediation.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Preparing for Mediation: What You Need to Know

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the importance of preparation when it comes to mediation. As part of the season-long series "Your Divorce Case," Seth and Pete aim to equip listeners with the knowledge and tools they need to navigate the mediation process effectively. Next week, they'll be joined by mediator Tami Sbar to discuss the mediation process in depth.

Seth and Pete emphasize the significance of setting realistic expectations for clients and the crucial role of emotional readiness in the mediation process. They discuss the confidential nature of mediation and how it differs from a trial setting. The hosts also highlight the importance of having a solid parenting plan and a clear understanding of financial matters before entering mediation.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What is mediation, and how does it fit into the court process?
• How can you prepare emotionally and mentally for mediation?
• What should you bring to mediation, and what can you expect during the process?

Key Takeaways:

• Preparation is key to a successful mediation. Draft a parenting plan and gather financial documents beforehand.
• Mediation is confidential, allowing parties to speak freely and explore options without fear of repercussions in court.
• Compromising beyond your comfort level may be necessary, but it's often better than the alternative of going to court.

Plus, we tackle another listener question! In "Fed Up with Frivolous Motions," a listener asks how to deal with a spouse who refuses to mediate and constantly files frivolous motions. Seth suggests requesting a scheduling order from the judge to set deadlines and keep the case moving forward.

This episode is packed with valuable insights and practical advice for anyone preparing for mediation in their divorce case. By listening, you'll gain a better understanding of what to expect, how to prepare, and how to approach the process with the right mindset. Tune in to ensure you're well-equipped for your upcoming mediation session!

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

The Final E: Understanding Everything Else in Your Divorce

Family law attorney Seth Nelson and co-host Pete Wright wrap up their journey through the PEACE Process, focusing on that last E – the often-overlooked but crucial "Everything Else" component. In this episode, they break down the practical aspects of divorce proceedings that can make or break your case.

Seth and Pete dive deep into the importance of process management in divorce cases, from document preparation to courtroom proceedings. They explore how setting clear goals at the start can help navigate the emotional complexity of divorce while staying focused on what matters most. The conversation covers everything from working with paralegals as accountability partners to understanding the role of private investigators in gathering evidence, and the critical aspects of attorney fees and retainers.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do I manage the overwhelming amount of documentation needed for my divorce?
• What should I expect regarding timeline and costs for my divorce proceedings?
• How do attorney retainers work and what are my financial obligations?

Key Takeaways:

• Start with your end goals and work backward to create an effective strategy
• Make time for your case and utilize support staff as accountability partners
• Understand the true timeline of divorce proceedings - even "simple" cases typically take 3-18 months

This episode provides invaluable insights into the practical aspects of divorce proceedings that often catch people off guard. Seth and Pete's straightforward discussion about process management, documentation requirements, and financial considerations offers listeners a comprehensive roadmap for navigating their divorce journey more effectively.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

‘Tis the Season... for Co-Parenting Conflict!

No parent wants to deal with emergency motion handling orders or duty judges on the holidays, but it happens. Stress can be high and the holidays – any holiday – can become a ripe place to pick a fight. So how do you avoid conflict to make the holidays still a special time for the kids?

The key is to do everything you can to avoid problems. Often, that means getting your ego out of the way so that you and your ex can make it about the kids. Avoid exchanges on travel days. Try to not split actual holidays, but if you have to, think about the activities of the day and plan accordingly. (In other words, if you’re splitting Christmas, do it in the afternoon so they can enjoy Christmas morning.) And do what you can to avoid escalation – perhaps you need to stay away from the eggnog until after you’ve dropped the kids off.

What about gifts? The kids were used to getting gifts from both parents. You don’t have to stop co-gifting just because you’re divorced. It may be what your child needs to feel safe around the holiday. 

Seth and Pete offer lots of great advice. Tune in, and have yourself a happy and safe holiday season.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Welcome to Winter! It's that time of year we love to hunker down and reflect, taking just a few weeks to recharge and prepare for the burst of new life in the spring. We have a few episodes from the archives to share with you over these cozy weeks. First up, what was originally an episode about splitting the summer holidays comes today, just in time for winter's chill!

Winter, that time we celebrate the most cherished of all divorce traditions, that special time when you sit down and ask: how do you split the holidays?

Let’s get this out of the way early: if you have kids involved, splitting holidays is not easy. We’re not just talking about the winter holidays, mind you. What about winter break... New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, Valentine's Day, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, spring break, President's Day, three-day weekends, teacher planning days, Jewish Holidays, Non-Hallmark holidays, and believe it or not, the list goes on from there!

Luckily, after you wrap your head around the sheer number of days to calculate, you can rest easy in the comfort of the one person in your corner who can help you with all that holiday math: your lawyer. That’s right, your lawyer has likely been through this many, many times and has seen every possible permutation of the holiday split and with a little patience, can get you scheduling like a pro.

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Uncovering Hidden Assets in Divorce with Forensic Accountant Kristin DiMeo

In this installment of our "Your Divorce Case" series, Seth and Pete welcome Kristin DiMeo, a forensic accountant and expert witness who has seen Seth in action representing clients in mediations and trials. The conversation focuses on Kristin's role in the divorce process, looking backwards at a couple's finances to uncover and analyze assets that may be hidden or overlooked.

As a CPA, Kristin compiles and examines past financial records to help answer key questions about a divorcing couple's money matters. Beyond digging into the details, she also assists clients and attorneys in settlement discussions and preparing exhibits for court. Seth and Pete dig into what someone should expect when working with a forensic accountant like Kristin and how she approaches complex issues like business valuations.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What does a forensic accountant do in divorce cases?
• How does a forensic accountant work with divorcing individuals and attorneys?
• What are the different approaches to valuing a business in a divorce?

Key Takeaways:

• Forensic accounting is about uncovering financial details, not always catching deception
• Divorcing individuals can help the process by gathering as many financial documents as possible
• Business valuations in divorce consider assets, income, the market and non-marital factors

For anyone facing a divorce who is unsure about the complete financial picture, this episode is a must-listen. Seth, Pete and Kristin break down the crucial role a forensic accountant can play in ensuring all assets are accounted for and valued properly to enable fair settlement discussions. Tune in for an inside look at the financial side of untangling a marriage.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!