Protecting Your Kids Through Divorce: A Mental Health Expert's Guide

Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome Dr. Larry Waldman, a psychologist with over four decades of clinical experience helping families navigate divorce. As the author of "Love Your Child More Than You Hate Your Ex," Dr. Waldman shares crucial insights on protecting children from trauma during divorce and maintaining healthy parent-child relationships through major life transitions.

The conversation explores the often-invisible ways parents unknowingly traumatize their children during divorce, from erasing evidence of the other parent to making children emotional confidants. Dr. Waldman, Seth, and Pete discuss practical strategies for maintaining stability, fostering healthy co-parenting relationships, and ensuring children feel secure and supported throughout the divorce process. Their discussion weaves together psychological insights with legal considerations, offering a comprehensive guide for parents navigating this challenging transition.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do parents unknowingly traumatize their children during divorce?
• What's the best way to handle transitions between homes?
• When should older children have input in scheduling decisions?

Key Takeaways:

• Keep photos of both parents visible in children's spaces
• Focus on positive experiences during transitions between homes
• Maintain appropriate parent-child boundaries; don't make children confidants

This episode provides essential guidance for any parent going through divorce, offering both practical strategies and deeper insights into protecting children's emotional well-being. Dr. Waldman's expertise, combined with Seth's legal perspective and Pete's facilitation, creates a valuable resource for maintaining healthy family relationships during and after divorce.

Links & Notes

• Get Dr. Waldman’s book “Love Your Child More Than You Hate Your Ex”
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

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De-escalating High-Conflict Divorce: A Rabbi's Perspective on Finding Peace

Rabbi Avi Kahan joins Seth Nelson and Pete Wright to explore how de-escalation techniques and cultural sensitivity can help families reach sustainable resolutions during divorce. As a mediator handling complex religious and cultural divorce cases, Rabbi Kahan brings unique insights into managing high-conflict situations and helping couples transition from being spouses to successful co-parents.

The conversation delves deep into how fear and conflict often mask deeper emotional struggles during divorce. Seth and Pete explore with Rabbi Kahan how the legal system's focus on "fairness" can sometimes escalate tensions, while religious and cultural perspectives might offer alternative paths to resolution. They discuss how divorce doesn't actually separate parents—it unifies them in a new way as co-parents, requiring them to articulate a new future together for their children's sake.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can you de-escalate high-conflict divorce situations?
• What role does "fairness" really play in divorce proceedings?
• How can religious perspectives help in understanding divorce as transformation rather than failure?

Key Takeaways:

• Focus on living your life, not your divorce—don't let temporary legal proceedings define your actions
• De-escalation often requires helping both parties want the divorce, not just need it
• Court litigation can force parents to suppress their authentic selves, potentially harming children

The episode offers valuable insights for anyone navigating a contentious divorce, especially those dealing with cultural or religious complexities. Rabbi Kahan's perspective on viewing divorce as a unifying rather than separating force provides a fresh framework for approaching this challenging life transition. 

Links & Notes

• Visit Rabbi Avi Kahan on the web, Instagram, LinkedIn, or YouTube
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

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Helping Kids Navigate Divorce with Parent Coach Danielle Lindner

Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome parent coach and early childhood education expert Danielle Lindner to discuss how children process divorce and what parents can do to help them stay resilient. Lindner, author of "The Parent's Pocket Guide to Surviving the Preschool Years" and several children's books, specializes in helping families raise emotionally healthy kids while maintaining their own wellbeing during major life transitions.

Seth and Pete explore key indicators that children might be struggling with divorce, often manifesting in behavior changes opposite to their typical personality. The discussion delves into positive parenting strategies during divorce—including the importance of consistency, emotional validation, and avoiding negative talk about the other parent. Lindner emphasizes the power of age-appropriate communication and explains how "scaffolding"—building supportive steps toward greater emotional agency—can help children develop resilience during challenging times.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can you tell if your child is struggling with divorce beyond what they're telling you?
• When should you consider bringing in professional help for your children?
• How do you handle introducing new partners when kids express negative feelings?

Key Takeaways:

• Maintain consistency and kindness across both households
• Validate children's feelings without overloading them with information
• Consider early intervention with counseling—it's better to start early than wait for problems

This episode provides practical, actionable advice for parents navigating divorce with young children. Whether you're just beginning the process or already co-parenting, Lindner's expertise offers valuable insights into supporting children's emotional health while maintaining positive family relationships during and after divorce.

Links & Notes

• Find Danielle on her website, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
• Check out Danielle’s books
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

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Breaking Free from Toxic Family Patterns During Divorce

In this compelling episode, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright are joined by Jerry Wise, a family systems coach with over 45 years of experience helping people heal from dysfunctional and emotionally immature family dynamics. They explore how divorce often isn't the hardest part of ending a marriage—it's breaking free from the dysfunctional patterns that shaped you before you even got married.

Seth and Pete dive deep with Jerry into the concept of emotional enmeshment and how it affects divorce proceedings and co-parenting relationships. They discuss practical strategies for recognizing when you're emotionally fused with your ex-spouse and techniques for breaking free from these patterns. The conversation takes fascinating turns as they explore how unresolved family-of-origin issues can impact current relationships and how to prevent passing these patterns to the next generation.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do I know if I'm emotionally enmeshed with my ex?
• What can I do when I feel triggered by my ex's behavior?
• How do I protect my children from inheriting dysfunctional relationship patterns?

Key Takeaways:

• Focus on yourself and your healing instead of blaming your ex
• Learn to respond rather than react to triggering situations
• Work on breaking unhealthy patterns before they affect your children

This episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating divorce or struggling with challenging family dynamics. Jerry's expertise, combined with Seth and Pete's practical legal and personal experience, provides listeners with actionable strategies for breaking free from toxic patterns and building healthier relationships moving forward.

Links & Notes

• Find Jerry on his website, Instagram, or YouTube
• Check out Jerry’s Road to Self program
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

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In this special season finale episode of How to Split a Toaster, family law attorney Seth Nelson joins Pete Wright to wrap up their comprehensive "Your Divorce Case" series by tackling pressing listener questions. This episode marks the conclusion of Season 10, where they've guided listeners through every aspect of the divorce process, from initial consultation to appeals.

The episode dives deep into real-world divorce scenarios submitted by listeners, covering everything from custody arrangements for children with ADHD to hidden cryptocurrency assets and international divorce complications. The discussion provides practical insights into how these situations are typically handled in the courtroom, while breaking down complex legal concepts into understandable terms. The conversation consistently emphasizes the importance of consulting with local counsel, as laws and procedures vary by jurisdiction.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do courts typically handle parenting plans when parents disagree about medical treatment?
• What options exist when you suspect hidden financial assets?
• How are digital assets like cryptocurrency handled in divorce proceedings?

Key Takeaways:

• Settlement opportunities can arise at any point during the divorce process - even during trial
• Court orders and requirements vary significantly by jurisdiction
• Documentation and proper legal counsel are crucial throughout the divorce process

This episode serves as both an excellent standalone resource for specific divorce questions and a fitting conclusion to the season-long examination of the divorce process. Whether you're just starting your divorce journey or looking for specific guidance on complex issues, this episode offers valuable insights into navigating the legal and emotional challenges of divorce.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Navigating the Appeals Process in Divorce Cases

Continuing our season-long Your Divorce Case series, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome appellate attorney Ceci Berman to discuss what happens when divorce cases move to the appeals court. As a board-certified appellate practice attorney with extensive experience arguing before state and federal courts, Ceci brings deep expertise in family law appeals and complex commercial litigation.

The appeals process works very differently from trial court, with strict timelines and procedures that must be followed. Seth and Pete explore with Ceci how appeals aren't simply "do-overs" of the original case, but rather reviews of whether the trial judge made legal errors in their decision. Through their conversation, they break down the machinery of appeals - from filing deadlines to oral arguments before a panel of judges - and discuss what clients should expect during what can be a lengthy process lasting anywhere from 9 months to 2 years.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What exactly is an appeal and how does it differ from the original trial?
• How long does the appeals process typically take?
• What happens if you win your appeal?

Key Takeaways:

• You have just 30 days from the final judgment to file an appeal
• Appeals are expensive and time-consuming - carefully consider if it's worth pursuing
• Winning your appeal means starting over - potentially with the same judge who ruled against you initially

This episode provides an invaluable look at a complex but crucial part of the divorce process that many people misunderstand. Whether you're considering an appeal or just want to better understand how the system works, Ceci's expert insights combined with Seth and Pete's practical experience make this an essential listen for anyone navigating divorce proceedings.

Links & Notes

• Ceci Berman – Brannock Berman & Seider
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

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Mastering Courtroom Behavior: Your Guide to Trial Success

In this final installment of our three-part series on divorce trials, Tampa family law attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive deep into courtroom etiquette, behavior, and psychological preparation. As part of our season-long exploration of Your Divorce Case, this episode provides essential insights into how to present yourself effectively in court and work productively with your attorney during trial.

Seth and Pete break down the discussion into three key segments: mastering courtroom behavior, being an asset to your attorney during trial, and psychological preparation. They explore everything from appropriate facial expressions and dress code to the importance of proper note-taking and communication with your attorney. The conversation also covers critical aspects of post-trial procedures, including motions for rehearing and appeals, while emphasizing the importance of maintaining composure both inside and outside the courtroom.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What are the most common courtroom etiquette mistakes that can hurt your case?
• How should you handle emotionally triggering statements during trial?
• What's the proper way to communicate with your attorney during proceedings?

Key Takeaways:

• Maintain neutral facial expressions and conservative dress in court
• Use note-taking to manage emotions and assist your attorney effectively
• Stay off social media before, during, and after trial

Whether you're preparing for trial or simply want to understand the court process better, this episode provides invaluable insights into navigating the complexities of divorce court. Seth and Pete's practical advice and real-world examples make this a must-listen for anyone facing divorce proceedings or interested in understanding courtroom dynamics.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Trial Strategy: Making Your Case in Divorce Court

In this second installment of their three-part series on divorce trials, Tampa divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive deeper into trial strategy and momentum. Part of their season-long "Your Divorce Case" conversation, this episode explores how attorneys navigate the complex dynamics of presenting evidence, examining witnesses, and adapting their approach as trials unfold. Building on last week's overview of courtroom basics, they now focus on the strategic elements that can make or break a case.

Seth shares detailed insights about trial preparation, witness examination, and the intricate dance between attorneys, judges, and clients during proceedings. Through real-world examples and candid discussion, Seth and Pete break down how success is measured in divorce court, why "winning" isn't always what it seems, and how attorneys must constantly adjust their strategy as new evidence emerges. Their conversation reveals the complex reality behind courtroom proceedings, including how judges signal their thinking and why settlement offers often play a crucial role in defining success.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What happens when you finally take the witness stand?
• How do attorneys measure success in divorce court?
• Why don't clients really get their "day in court"?

Key Takeaways:

• Trial momentum can shift dramatically between days
• Your attorney should be completely transparent about how the case is progressing
• The best outcome often beats the last settlement offer, not necessarily "wins" everything

Whether you're headed to trial or trying to decide if you should settle, this episode offers crucial insights into how divorce trials really work. Seth and Pete's practical discussion helps demystify the process while providing valuable perspective on what constitutes success in divorce court.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Inside the Courtroom: What Really Happens During a Divorce Trial

Tampa divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright explore what really happens when a divorce case goes to trial in this first episode of a two-part deep dive. As part of the tenth season's "Your Divorce Case" series, Seth and Pete take listeners inside a Florida divorce courtroom, breaking down everything from the physical layout to the intricate procedures that govern these proceedings.

Seth guides us through the mechanics of a divorce trial, describing the roles of everyone present—from the judge and attorneys to the bailiff and court reporter. The conversation examines how evidence is presented, the importance of proper documentation, and the strategic elements that shape trial proceedings. Pete's thoughtful questions help illuminate complex legal concepts, making them accessible to anyone facing divorce court.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What does a divorce courtroom look like and who will be there?
• How does evidence get admitted during a trial?
• What happens during opening statements and how do they shape the case?

Key Takeaways:

• Trials move quickly—preparation and organization are crucial
• Evidence must be authenticated, relevant, and admissible to be considered
• Like a tennis match, trials have momentum shifts but staying focused is key

Whether you're facing a divorce trial or simply want to understand the process better, this episode provides invaluable insights into how divorce trials actually work. Seth and Pete's engaging discussion demystifies the courtroom experience while offering practical knowledge about what to expect when your divorce goes to trial.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

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Your Burning Divorce Questions: Expert Answers for Real-Life Situations

As part of this season's deep dive into "Your Divorce Case," Pete Wright and family law attorney Seth Nelson tackle listener questions spanning complex financial arrangements to sensitive custody matters. Their insights provide practical guidance for navigating the intricate landscape of divorce proceedings.

Real Solutions for Modern Divorce Challenges

This episode explores creative solutions to modern divorce challenges, from managing shared living spaces post-divorce to handling delicate relationship transitions. Through real-world examples, Seth and Pete address concerns about property division, co-parenting, and legal documentation, offering actionable advice while emphasizing the importance of proper legal guidance.

Listener Questions Covered:

• Post-divorce cohabitation: Managing shared home ownership with a low interest rate
• Dating during slow-moving divorce proceedings: Understanding potential consequences
• International divorce complications: Handling custody with a foreign national spouse
• Reunification therapy timeline: What to expect in the healing process
• Documenting parental alienation: Effective strategies for court
• Catholic annulment concerns: Managing religious and legal proceedings
• Creative settlement options: Handling significant age gap divorces
• Legal annulment vs. divorce: Understanding the differences and requirements
• Enforcing custody agreements: Dealing with violations and discovery requests

Why This Episode Matters

The episode delivers valuable insights for anyone facing divorce, whether dealing with unique living arrangements, complex financial situations, or challenging custody scenarios. Seth and Pete's practical approach and clear explanations make complex legal concepts accessible while emphasizing the importance of making informed decisions throughout the divorce process.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster