Preparing for Mediation: What You Need to Know

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the importance of preparation when it comes to mediation. As part of the season-long series "Your Divorce Case," Seth and Pete aim to equip listeners with the knowledge and tools they need to navigate the mediation process effectively. Next week, they'll be joined by mediator Tami Sbar to discuss the mediation process in depth.

Seth and Pete emphasize the significance of setting realistic expectations for clients and the crucial role of emotional readiness in the mediation process. They discuss the confidential nature of mediation and how it differs from a trial setting. The hosts also highlight the importance of having a solid parenting plan and a clear understanding of financial matters before entering mediation.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What is mediation, and how does it fit into the court process?
• How can you prepare emotionally and mentally for mediation?
• What should you bring to mediation, and what can you expect during the process?

Key Takeaways:

• Preparation is key to a successful mediation. Draft a parenting plan and gather financial documents beforehand.
• Mediation is confidential, allowing parties to speak freely and explore options without fear of repercussions in court.
• Compromising beyond your comfort level may be necessary, but it's often better than the alternative of going to court.

Plus, we tackle another listener question! In "Fed Up with Frivolous Motions," a listener asks how to deal with a spouse who refuses to mediate and constantly files frivolous motions. Seth suggests requesting a scheduling order from the judge to set deadlines and keep the case moving forward.

This episode is packed with valuable insights and practical advice for anyone preparing for mediation in their divorce case. By listening, you'll gain a better understanding of what to expect, how to prepare, and how to approach the process with the right mindset. Tune in to ensure you're well-equipped for your upcoming mediation session!

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

The Final E: Understanding Everything Else in Your Divorce

Family law attorney Seth Nelson and co-host Pete Wright wrap up their journey through the PEACE Process, focusing on that last E – the often-overlooked but crucial "Everything Else" component. In this episode, they break down the practical aspects of divorce proceedings that can make or break your case.

Seth and Pete dive deep into the importance of process management in divorce cases, from document preparation to courtroom proceedings. They explore how setting clear goals at the start can help navigate the emotional complexity of divorce while staying focused on what matters most. The conversation covers everything from working with paralegals as accountability partners to understanding the role of private investigators in gathering evidence, and the critical aspects of attorney fees and retainers.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How do I manage the overwhelming amount of documentation needed for my divorce?
• What should I expect regarding timeline and costs for my divorce proceedings?
• How do attorney retainers work and what are my financial obligations?

Key Takeaways:

• Start with your end goals and work backward to create an effective strategy
• Make time for your case and utilize support staff as accountability partners
• Understand the true timeline of divorce proceedings - even "simple" cases typically take 3-18 months

This episode provides invaluable insights into the practical aspects of divorce proceedings that often catch people off guard. Seth and Pete's straightforward discussion about process management, documentation requirements, and financial considerations offers listeners a comprehensive roadmap for navigating their divorce journey more effectively.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

‘Tis the Season... for Co-Parenting Conflict!

No parent wants to deal with emergency motion handling orders or duty judges on the holidays, but it happens. Stress can be high and the holidays – any holiday – can become a ripe place to pick a fight. So how do you avoid conflict to make the holidays still a special time for the kids?

The key is to do everything you can to avoid problems. Often, that means getting your ego out of the way so that you and your ex can make it about the kids. Avoid exchanges on travel days. Try to not split actual holidays, but if you have to, think about the activities of the day and plan accordingly. (In other words, if you’re splitting Christmas, do it in the afternoon so they can enjoy Christmas morning.) And do what you can to avoid escalation – perhaps you need to stay away from the eggnog until after you’ve dropped the kids off.

What about gifts? The kids were used to getting gifts from both parents. You don’t have to stop co-gifting just because you’re divorced. It may be what your child needs to feel safe around the holiday. 

Seth and Pete offer lots of great advice. Tune in, and have yourself a happy and safe holiday season.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Welcome to Winter! It's that time of year we love to hunker down and reflect, taking just a few weeks to recharge and prepare for the burst of new life in the spring. We have a few episodes from the archives to share with you over these cozy weeks. First up, what was originally an episode about splitting the summer holidays comes today, just in time for winter's chill!

Winter, that time we celebrate the most cherished of all divorce traditions, that special time when you sit down and ask: how do you split the holidays?

Let’s get this out of the way early: if you have kids involved, splitting holidays is not easy. We’re not just talking about the winter holidays, mind you. What about winter break... New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, Valentine's Day, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, spring break, President's Day, three-day weekends, teacher planning days, Jewish Holidays, Non-Hallmark holidays, and believe it or not, the list goes on from there!

Luckily, after you wrap your head around the sheer number of days to calculate, you can rest easy in the comfort of the one person in your corner who can help you with all that holiday math: your lawyer. That’s right, your lawyer has likely been through this many, many times and has seen every possible permutation of the holiday split and with a little patience, can get you scheduling like a pro.

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Uncovering Hidden Assets in Divorce with Forensic Accountant Kristin DiMeo

In this installment of our "Your Divorce Case" series, Seth and Pete welcome Kristin DiMeo, a forensic accountant and expert witness who has seen Seth in action representing clients in mediations and trials. The conversation focuses on Kristin's role in the divorce process, looking backwards at a couple's finances to uncover and analyze assets that may be hidden or overlooked.

As a CPA, Kristin compiles and examines past financial records to help answer key questions about a divorcing couple's money matters. Beyond digging into the details, she also assists clients and attorneys in settlement discussions and preparing exhibits for court. Seth and Pete dig into what someone should expect when working with a forensic accountant like Kristin and how she approaches complex issues like business valuations.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What does a forensic accountant do in divorce cases?
• How does a forensic accountant work with divorcing individuals and attorneys?
• What are the different approaches to valuing a business in a divorce?

Key Takeaways:

• Forensic accounting is about uncovering financial details, not always catching deception
• Divorcing individuals can help the process by gathering as many financial documents as possible
• Business valuations in divorce consider assets, income, the market and non-marital factors

For anyone facing a divorce who is unsure about the complete financial picture, this episode is a must-listen. Seth, Pete and Kristin break down the crucial role a forensic accountant can play in ensuring all assets are accounted for and valued properly to enable fair settlement discussions. Tune in for an inside look at the financial side of untangling a marriage.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Navigating the Complex World of Child Support

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive deep into the often murky waters of child support, the C in the PEACE Process. With precise rules, high stakes, and emotions running even higher, understanding child support is crucial for anyone going through a divorce.

Unraveling the Intricacies of Child Support
In this installment of our season-long look called Your Divorce Case, Seth and Pete break down the complexities of child support, explaining that it has little to do with actual child expenses. Instead, the state uses a mathematical formula based on the combined net income of both parents to determine the amount of support needed. They discuss how factors such as the number of children, parenting time, and additional expenses like health insurance premiums and uncovered medical costs impact the calculation.

Questions we answer in this episode:
• How is child support calculated?
• What factors influence child support payments?
• Can the court deviate from the child support guidelines?

Key Takeaways:
• Child support is based on a formula, not actual child expenses.
• The percentage of financial responsibility for each parent is crucial.
• Regular recurring income, such as bonuses and vested stock options, counts towards child support calculations.

Seth and Pete's in-depth analysis of child support provides valuable insights for anyone navigating the complexities of divorce. By understanding the nuances of the guidelines, parents can better prepare for the financial aspects of co-parenting and ensure the well-being of their children post-divorce.

Links & Notes

• Free Child Support Calculations on Family Law Software
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Show Me The Money: Understanding Modern Alimony

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the complex world of alimony. As part of their comprehensive P.E.A.C.E. Process mini-series, they break down what alimony really means today, who might be eligible, and how courts determine payments.

Over the course of the episode, Seth and Pete demystify how alimony actually works. They explore everything from basic calculations to lifestyle considerations, debunk common misconceptions about savings components, and explain why "need and ability to pay" matters more than simple income differences. The discussion covers various types of alimony payments, from short-term support during transitions to longer-term arrangements, and explains how courts look at the whole financial picture.

Questions we answer in this episode:
• How do courts calculate alimony payments?
• What expenses can be included in alimony calculations?
• Can I modify my alimony after divorce?

Key Takeaways:
• Alimony is based on need and ability to pay, not just income differences
• Don't forget to factor in new expenses like health insurance and HOA dues
• Consider lump sum payments to avoid ongoing financial entanglement

Plus, we tackle several listener questions! From high-income scenarios to job loss situations, Seth explains how courts handle various real-world alimony challenges and what rights both parties have when circumstances change.

Whether you're facing divorce or just want to understand how modern alimony works, this episode provides essential insights into one of divorce's most misunderstood aspects. Seth and Pete's practical approach makes complex financial concepts accessible while offering strategies to protect yourself financially during and after divorce.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Stay safe and sober this holiday season with Soberlink. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when alcohol abuse is a concern. Give yourself and your family the gift of peace of mind during the holidays by using Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring system. Improve trust, accountability, and communication in your co-parenting arrangement. Visit their site today to learn more and get $50 off. Happy Holidays from Soberlink!

Splitting Assets in Divorce: More Than Just Breaking a Toaster in Half

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, divorce attorney Seth Nelson and Pete Wright tackle the thorny issue of dividing assets in divorce. As part of their P.E.A.C.E. Process mini-series, Seth and Pete break down what "equitable distribution" really means - and why it's about way more than just splitting everything 50/50.

Seth and Pete walk through the four key steps of dividing assets: Identification (what stuff do we actually have?), Classification (whose stuff is it really?), Valuation (what's it worth?), and Distribution (who gets what?). They cover everything from basic bank accounts to complex business valuations, and even dive into some surprising assets you might not think about - like vacation days and airline miles. Along the way, they share real-world examples that show why "fair" in divorce court might not match your definition of fairness.

Questions we answer in this episode:
• How do you figure out what's "yours," "mine," and "ours" in a divorce?
• What happens when one person tries to hide assets?
• Can my ex get half my frequent flyer miles?

Key Takeaways:
• Just because something's in your name doesn't mean it's all yours
• Personal goodwill (like your winning personality) isn't a marital asset
• Sometimes arguing for "fairness" means you've already lost

Plus, we tackle another listener question! A California resident asks about inherited money that got mixed into shared accounts and home purchases during marriage. Seth explains why following the money matters and how different states handle these situations differently (spoiler alert: location matters!).

Whether you're facing divorce or just curious about how courts slice and dice assets, this episode breaks down complex legal concepts into bite-sized pieces. Seth and Pete take a practical approach to help make this topic both digestible and surprisingly engaging.

Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Reunification Therapy: Rebuilding Parent-Child Relationships During and After Divorce

Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome psychotherapist Gina Aguinaga to explore one of the most challenging aspects of divorce: repairing fractured parent-child relationships. As part of their ongoing "Your Divorce Case" series, this episode dives deep into reunification therapy. Gina, who specializes in helping families navigate difficult divorces and separations, brings her expertise to this crucial conversation about healing broken family bonds.

The episode examines the nuanced dynamics of parent-child estrangement during divorce, including both unintentional and intentional alienation behaviors. Seth and Pete guide the discussion through practical approaches to rebuilding relationships, from simple first steps like phone calls to the importance of maintaining presence at children's events. Gina shares insights from her therapeutic process, emphasizing the need to treat family issues holistically rather than focusing solely on the rejected parent and child relationship.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What behaviors or situations typically lead to parent-child estrangement during divorce?
• How can parents start rebuilding damaged relationships with their children?
• When should families seek reunification therapy versus trying to handle issues themselves?

Key Takeaways:

• Start with small, manageable steps toward rebuilding relationships
• Focus on the child's activities and interests during reconnection attempts
• Address issues early - waiting only makes reunification more challenging

This vital installment in the children and divorce conversation provides essential guidance for parents navigating complicated family dynamics. Through professional insight and practical examples, listeners gain valuable strategies for maintaining and rebuilding parent-child relationships during the divorce process, making it a crucial resource for families in transition.

Links & Notes

• Find Gina and learn more about the reunification process at her website
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster

Parenting Across Two Homes: Strategies for Success After Divorce

In this installment of our Your Divorce Case series, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright continue the conversation about parenting plans by exploring the realities of co-parenting children across two households after divorce. They are joined by Leanne Tran, a registered psychologist who specializes in working with children and families dealing with autism, ADHD, and learning disorders. Building upon the previous episode about crafting effective parenting plans, Seth and Pete dive deeper into the impacts of divorce on children and strategies for successful co-parenting, with a special focus on the unique considerations for neurodivergent kids.

Leanne shares valuable insights on the key factors that influence how children cope with the changes brought by divorce, such as the level of parental conflict, disruption to routines and sense of identity, and the emotional and behavioral signs of distress parents should watch out for. The discussion also touches on the additional challenges faced by neurodivergent children, who may struggle more with transitions, need for sameness, and sensory sensitivities. Leanne emphasizes the importance of parents being on the same page, providing consistency across households, and being mindful of the impact on siblings as well.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• What signs indicate a child is struggling emotionally with divorce?
• How can parents best support neurodivergent children across two homes?
• What should be considered when introducing a new partner to the family dynamic?

Key Takeaways:

• Changes in behavior, emotions, sleep, appetite, and interests can signal distress.
• Consistency, predictability, and catering to sensory needs are crucial for neurodivergent kids.
• Clear communication and gradual introductions help children adjust to new partners.

Through the lens of her expertise, Leanne provides valuable guidance for parents navigating the complexities of co-parenting, both for neurotypical and neurodivergent children. This episode offers practical tips and compassionate advice to help families thrive after divorce, building upon the foundation of a well-crafted parenting plan discussed in the previous episode. Tune in for insights that can make a real difference in your post-divorce parenting journey.

Links & Notes

• Find Leanne on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn, and her website
• Listen to Leanne’s podcast Parent Like a Psychologist
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster