High conflict cases have a well-documented credibility problem: the person with high conflict personality traits walks into the lawyer’s office, the HR department, or the courtroom looking calm and composed. The person who has been responding to years of escalation walks in looking emotional, reactive, and hard to follow. Without a framework for recognizing this pattern, systems can unintentionally reward the behavior driving the conflict—and penalize the person trying to respond to it.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, walk through the biggest mistakes people make when presenting high conflict concerns to lawyers, HR, courts, and adult protective services—and offer a concrete strategy for making those concerns land. They cover why chronological storytelling buries the most critical information, how to work with professionals who don’t yet see what’s happening, and what to do if you’ve already vented or lost your cool.

It’s All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.

Full Show Notes & Resources

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website

Watch this episode on YouTube

Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

When addiction and high conflict personality traits both show up in a custody case, the usual advice stops working. Vague parenting plans become weapons. Standard timelines get exploited. Courts aren't designed to manage what's happening daily between two households—and the divorce itself is often just the beginning.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, lay out what actually works: parenting plans built with iron-clad specificity, consequences written into agreements before problems happen, relapse protocols, objective safety safeguards for young children, and the assertive court strategy Bill describes as the most effective approach—not aggressive, not passive, but steady and information-forward.

It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.

Full Show Notes & Resources

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website

Watch this episode on YouTube

Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

High conflict custody cases are hard enough—but when one parent also demonstrates antisocial personality traits alongside addiction and a pattern of long-term deception, standard parenting plans fall short in ways that can leave a child at real risk. Antisocial personality disorder appears in family court more often than most people realize, and it requires a fundamentally different approach to court orders, parenting plans, and relapse planning.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona, walk through how to recognize the pattern, what to actually say to a family court judge, and how to build a relapse plan directly into a custody agreement as a court order. They also cover monitoring options, supervised contact, and why no-contact orders should be extremely rare. This is part one of a two-part conversation.

It’s All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.

Full Show Notes & Resources

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website

Watch this episode on YouTube

Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

In high conflict divorce, children don’t just witness a parent’s distress—they absorb it, often without knowing where the feeling is coming from. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explain the brain science behind emotional contagion, why it can quietly build a child’s resistance to the healthier parent, and what that parent can do about it. From holding the schedule steady under emotional pressure, to teaching the four big skills for life, to naming emotions out loud to reduce their intensity—this episode gives parents practical tools they can use inside their own home starting today.

Resources from this episode:
BOOKS

• Don't Alienate the Kids
• BIFF for CoParent Communication

COURSES & CLASSES FOR PARENTS

• Conflict Influencer™ Class
• New Ways for Families Class + Coaching (for parents)
• Resistance, Refusal and the Child’s Brain

ARTICLE

• 7 Ways Children’s Brains Absorb Their Parent's’ Emotions in Divorce (And What You Can Do About It)

TRAINING

Professional Organizational Training: [email protected]

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website
Watch this episode on YouTube!
Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

Passive aggressive behavior is one of the most common—and most maddening—dynamics in high conflict situations. In this episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute reframe passive aggression as what it really is: aggression with built-in deniability. They walk through how to recognize it at home and at work, how to set limits on behavior that’s designed to evade accountability, and how the “it’s not about me” mindset gives you the emotional footing to respond effectively. Whether you’re dealing with a co-worker who “forgets” every commitment or a relationship where nothing is ever directly addressed, this episode gives you a practical framework for protecting your peace.
Resources from this episode:

• 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
• Dating Radar
• Conflict Influencer Class
• Managing High-Conflict Behaviour in the Workplace Training (April 23, 2026)

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website
Watch this episode on YouTube!
Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

Why are so many people drawn to media figures who thrive on conflict, drama, and promises of secret revelations? Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter of the High Conflict Institute break down the neuroscience behind it—and it turns out your brain is working exactly as designed. The right hemisphere's drive for connection, belonging, and certainty makes all of us vulnerable to conflict-driven personalities, whether we realize it or not. This episode gives you the framework to understand why you get hooked, and practical tools to reclaim your own judgment.

Resources from this episode:

• 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
• Managing High-Conflict Behavior in the Workplace — Training, April 23, 2026
• Training for Your Organization
• Visit High Conflict Institute
• Browse Books and Resources

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter to share practical tools leaders can use right away when high conflict behavior is derailing their team. They cover BIFF responses for written communication, how to redirect disruptive meeting participants, handling chronic complainers with EAR statements, and what it actually takes to build a conflict-competent culture. Plus—details on two upcoming trainings from the High Conflict Institute.

Resources from this episode:

• New Ways for Work Coaches Training — March 3 & 5, 2026
• Leaders Training: Managing High Conflict Behavior at Work — April 23, 2026
• BIFF at Work by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter
• Mediating High Conflict Disputes by Bill Eddy and Michael Lomax
• It's All Your Fault at Work by Bill Eddy and L. Georgi DiStefano

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | High Conflict Institute

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

HCI senior trainer Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter to unpack why high conflict behavior is escalating in today's workplaces—and what leaders can actually do about it. Drawing on twenty-five years in workplace dispute resolution, Michael explains why global stress and unresolved trauma are showing up at work, what happens in a leader's brain when they get emotionally hooked, and how to regulate yourself before you respond. You'll learn the "calm before think" strategy for de-escalating upset employees, how to handle a team-wide crisis triggered by one inflammatory email, and when a single conversation with a difficult senior leader simply isn't enough. Whether you're a leader, in HR, or anyone trying to navigate a workplace that feels harder than it used to—this one's for you.

Resources from this episode:

• New Ways for Work Training for Workplace Coaches — March 3 & 5, 2026
• Leaders Training: Managing High Conflict Behavior at Work — April 23, 2026
• BIFF at Work by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter
• Mediating High Conflict Disputes by Bill Eddy and Michael Lomax
• It's All Your Fault at Work by Bill Eddy and L. Georgi DiStefano

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | High Conflict Institute
Watch this episode on YouTube!

Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

We answer five listener questions about setting boundaries with intrusive neighbors, hostile co-parents, difficult coworkers, and adult children who demonstrate high conflict behaviors. Learn when to use empathy versus firmness, how to document hostile messages for court, and strategies for protecting your emotional well-being in toxic situations.

Resources from this episode:

• SLIC Solutions for Conflict
• BIFF for CoParent Communication
• The Big Book on Borderline Personality Disorder
• New Ways for Work® Coaches Training (March 3 & 5, 2026)
• Conflict Influencer Class
• Training for Organizations
• National Domestic Violence Information or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website
Watch this episode on YouTube!

Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault

Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore one of the most challenging questions faced by people in relationships with partners who demonstrate high conflict behaviors: Is it possible to develop a genuinely mutual and healthy relationship through proper communication techniques and boundary setting, or is managed stability the best achievable outcome?

Understanding Relationship Dynamics with High Conflict Partners

The episode examines the reality that while using specialized communication techniques can help reduce conflict and create more stability, these relationships often remain fundamentally one-sided. The hosts address the emotional toll of being the only partner actively working on relationship improvement and discuss realistic expectations for long-term outcomes.

Research indicates that people who exhibit cluster B personality traits commonly demonstrate patterns of domineeringness, vindictiveness, and intrusiveness in relationships. Understanding these patterns helps inform decisions about relationship investment and maintenance.

Questions Answered in This Episode

• Can proper communication techniques lead to a truly mutual relationship?
• What role does counseling play in improving high conflict relationships?
• How do you approach suggesting counseling to a resistant partner?
• What are realistic expectations for relationship improvement?
• When should someone consider leaving versus staying in the relationship?

Key Takeaways

• Success often looks like better containment rather than achieving full mutuality
• Individual or couples counseling can help, but finding the right approach is crucial
• Setting clear limits while maintaining safety is essential
• Building external support systems helps maintain stability
• Personal decisions about staying or leaving should be based on realistic expectations

The episode provides valuable insights for anyone wrestling with difficult relationship decisions, offering both practical tools and a framework for evaluating relationship potential without promising unrealistic outcomes.

Additional Resources

New Resource for Those Considering Divorce/Separation/Relationship Termination 

• Should I Stay Stay Married or Get Divorced? 1:1 Coaching through an online course
  • Give your marriage a chance to survive and succeed.

Expert Publications

• Stop Walking on Eggshells for Partners by Randi Kreger and Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD
• Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to "The One" Who Will Make Your Life Hell By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., and Megan Hunter, MBA
• SLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 Steps by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Ekaterina Ricci, MDR, MLS

Personal Development

• New Ways for Couples Online Course + Coaching (give your relationship a chance to survive)

Training

• Contact us for training for your organization

Connect With Us

• Visit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com
• Submit questions for Bill and Megan
• Browse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formats
• Find these show notes and all past episode notes on our website

Watch this episode on YouTube!

Important Notice

Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault