Ballon Boy is back after 10 years and still claiming it wasn't a hoax. Man gets some bird for having sex with leaves and no good deed goes unpunished, especially if it involves gear and rent boys.

The Feathery King gets into some rock solid banter outside the court house with some paparazzi. Cop wins big after being told to tone down the gay. S Club 7 invented DNB.

Mad-Lass steals whole stag-do fund and then ups the ante. Modern children are now so ugly and unsightly that school photographers are having to do outrageous amounts of work in post.

Are Trump supporters Communists? It's a hot new take and one i think we should explore. The Metro spend a long time exploring the very basics of being human and i spent too long on covering it.

What if your destiny was to win a 'fuckafan' competition with your favourite pornstar? The basement full of blood and guts is actually a feature and some cyber-vandals win the ultimate troll prize.

We get some love Brexit updates from Liz our new analyst. Fat Sam from Bugsy Malone is due a 2019 make over. Kanye West is the greatest human ever.

The northern monkey has messed up the internetz and all hell breaks loose. We find a 100% confirmed C&M good-times-girl and a new Current Value bit leaves many confused.

Warwickshire Council go bat shit crazy on the sex education section of their website. An Irish Bishop wages war on the unholy practice of Yoga and Wang Gang gets it stuck in his gob. 

The Feathery King returns from Birmingham with tales of tods. Are friend with the Popeye arms has a horrendous MMA fight and unsurprisingly the governments porn ban falls on it's face. 

Naked Scotsmen fighting in the streets, knob tossing accused of having run its course and all the general verbal diarrhea you've come to expect from the UKs only morning radio show