This episode is about what is really happening underneath the way you communicate when things get hard. So many of us default to being combative in conflict, not because we are difficult people, but because we are carrying wounds that learned to speak before we ever figured out who we actually were. For years I was stuck in defense mode because the only thing doing the talking was a wound that kept telling me I am not enough and I am not worthy. That made it impossible to hear what anyone was actually saying to me because I was too busy interpreting everything through the lens of what I believed they thought about me. In this episode we go into why your nervous system takes over before your brain catches up, how your body communicates threat to the other person before you even open your mouth, and what your patterns in conflict are actually costing the people closest to you. We also talk about what collaborative communication really looks like, because it is not about being nicer or softer. It is about being grounded enough in who you are to hold your position without destroying the person in front of you or yourself. This is the shift from communicating out of your wounds to communicating out of who you are becoming.