COMING SOON!

The (not yet) classic British gangster film “Take Him Out!” stars Jason Statham as an assassin hired to take out a Boy Scout leader who is also an assassin. Sean Penn costars. Coming Soon! rating: 62% “Dr Squirrel’s Mirror Maze” is a intense film about a doctor whose animatronic toys come to life and hide a nut inside a maze of mirrors. The film stars two Italian legends; Sylvester Stallone and Tony Danza. Coming Soon! rating: 66.maze%

Episode 6: Oscar’s Special!! Finally a live show with guests and so many movies (technically 5) to be reviewed. Join us for this look at the Best Picture Oscar Nominees of 2017! Join us for riveting interviews with Cher and Woody Allen! Just join us, will you?

“Captain Smitters and the Grumpy Bumpy Silly Dilly Poopy Doopy Day” is an animated and historically accurate pirate film. Starring Tom Hanks as Captain Smitters and Dame Judy Dench as a talking Monkey Poo. Coming Soon! rating: 82.3% Kathryn Bigelow directs “Thunder Cannon 7; This Cannon’s got Thunder!” Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus co-star in this young adult film about a cannon with thunder. Totally Duchess! And Jim is old. Coming Soon! rating: 88%

Episode 4: Together again at last, Chris Rock and Sigourney Weaver star in the porn/sports drama; “Balls Deep!” (Double entendre intended.) Gordon Ramsey has a cameo in the podcast. Coming Soon! rating: 49% The cast is vast in “The Swimmer Man”. This musical countercultural nod to the 70’s stars: Ian Mckellen, Tilda Swinton, and Jennifer Lawrence. Plus the many holograms of: Queen Latifah and Ringo Starr. Coming Soon! rating: 70.3%

This slow martial arts epic, set in the gorgeous Scottish Highlands, stars Helen Hunt ….no, Linda Hamilton. “The Sheep on The Prairie” also stars Jackie Chan who should win a Nobel Prize for Best. Coming Soon! rating: 54.6% “The Twine of Our Lives” is an excessively dramatic film about the inventor of twine. Michael Bay directs Carey Mulligan and Jean Claude van Damme in this really very dramatic and overly sexualized film. Coming Soon! rating: 43%

Love films?! So do we! Join us as we review upcoming movies before they hit the theatres. Way way before they hit theatres. In fact, they may never hit the theatres as we are making them up on the spot. Join hosts Jim Archer, Graham Dickson, and Kasey Wilson in a completely improvised podcast as they analyse plot, discuss the directors, and share clips from the actual (made-up) films. Macaulay Culkin wrote and directed this film noir; “The Mouse That Couldn’t Stop Screaming!” The film costars Melanie Griffith (as the femme fatale) and Brad Pitt (as a possibly Armenian mouse). Graham hated this movie which asks “How do you scrape a chest into a hole?” Coming Soon! Rating: 66.6% Olivia Col Man heats up the screen as “The Time Traveling Midwife”. A surprising sci-fi comedy from Guillermo del Toro in which Col Man travels back in time to show Gael Garcia Bernal her flesh watch. Coming Soon! rating: 86%

Love films?! So do we! Join us as we review upcoming movies before they hit the theatres. Way way before they hit theatres. In fact, they may never hit the theatres as we are making them up on the spot. Join hosts Jim Archer, Graham Dickson, and Kasey Wilson in a completley improvised podcast as they analyse plot, discuss the directors, and share clips from the actual (made-up) films. “3 Arias” is the directorial debut from Benicio del Toro. It stars comedians James Franco and Seth Rogan as dueling violinists afflicted with a serious disease and a possibly eaten sandwich. Coming Soon! rating : 77.7% Edgar Wright directs this violent action thriller, “Beneath the Burning Moon”. A horrific robot fueled distopia is lit up with the acting talents of Haley Joel Osment and Maddox Jolie Pitt (screen debut). Danny Glover is a highlight as “the judge”. Coming Soon! rating: 56%