Coming Up Clutch with J.R. Helping Pro and Executive Athletes maximize their success and significance

How is your baggage from the past affecting your relationships?

Since we're human, we have a tendency to bring past hurts and traumas into our relationships. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there…

We then project our junk to the other person, and next thing you know it's their fault and the blame game starts.

We both know that's no way to build great relationships and enjoy a fulfilling life.

On today's episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show, I sit down with Dr. Stephen Galloza - clinical mental health counselor, psychotherapist, and one of the top EMDR specialists in the world. "Dr. G" is relied upon heavily by celebrities, billionaires, and some of the most powerful and successful people in the world.

He gets paid top dollar to help successful people take their decades of junk out to the trash.

In this latest episode, Dr. G and I talk about…

• The keys necessary to transition from surviving to thriving after experiencing trauma
• How to proactively prevent your past traumas from wreaking havoc on your current relationship
• How to transition more effectively from things like failures, difficult conversations, or a tough day at work

…and so much more, including a bonus nugget for parents.

If you want to learn more about how to overcome your past so you can thrive in your future, then lock in to today's episode.

[00:01 - 10:48] Introducing Dr. Stephen Galloza (Dr. G) to the show

• Dr. G's most embarrassing moment
• Dr. G's background, story, and professional journey

[10:49 - 24:44] The keys necessary to transition from surviving to thriving after experiencing trauma

• Trauma is not just a psychological experience, it's a physiological one
• Trauma = The brain perceives something as a threat or a loss, then that thing transitions from an event to an experience that's re-lived and reenacted
• Trauma is not just something that's remembered. It's reenacted in the body. Your body keeps the score. (Dr. G talks about how patients, upon recall of the event, have bodily reactions - e.g. feeling the cortisol, adrenaline, anxiety, etc.)
• Trauma is "not your fault." (Shame and guilt are byproducts of trauma)
• You can't fight trauma alone - start with community and wise teachers…people who can listen to your story and validate you (instead of reinforcing shame and guilt)
• When you know you need to resolve your trauma, but are too ashamed to talk about it…
• First recognize that fear is a symptom of the trauma (F.E.A.R. = false evidence appearing real)
• Then, realize that you are not the trauma - this is a set of physiological things that are occurring in my body
• Then, you must willingly lean into your story and make the choice that you're going to rise above this season of life (Dr. G: It's always going to come down to a choice)
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a modality to help resolve trauma
• You can experience wisdom from your pain and suffering when you allow yourself permission to sit with it

[24:45 - 35:27] How to proactively prevent your past traumas from wreaking havoc on your current relationship

• Context:
• Traumatic symptoms are not caused by their triggering event. They're caused by your spouse…they stem from frozen residue of energy that's been unresolved and un-discharged. This residue remains trapped in the nervous system and it wreaks havoc on our minds and bodies.
• People bring their traumas into the relationship and then project to the other spouse, "It's your fault." But what's really happening is that residue of energy is surfacing with all kinds of different symptoms (like a virus).
• The ego is preventing us from self-evaluation, which then opens the door for projection.
• Your brain is meant to heal itself. So, if we can get out of the pattern of avoidance and denial and get quiet enough to sit with what's bothering us (i.e. observe our thoughts, sit with our feelings, recognize you're not the voice in your head, you're not the thoughts you're thinking…you're the listener and observer). So…
• Strategy:
• Watch. Look at all the traffic. At some point during this rest/quiet time/meditation, your brain goes into self-correction mode.
• Sit with nature, get quiet, allow yourself to breathe, etc.
• The key here is REST. When we don't rest, it's part of the avoidance trap. And when we avoid it, we store it in the hypothalamus part of our brain (like hoarding stuff in our home), thus creating a very narrow pathway for us to do life
• Psycho-biological side note. Our REM sleep gets affected by trauma, depression, and anxiety because we don't enter into those deep stages of sleep when we're dealing with them. And when that's affected, we're essentially programming our body to store negative stories and trauma, and leading to things like insomnia.
• Oxygen is dispensable to life. We live on every breath we take. Rest is indispensable to living a meaningful and productive life. God instituted it as a commandment. Rest isn't just a good idea. It's what makes us human. When we lose sleep we become LESS human. We become robots. We become slaves to the work.
• Give the brain what it needs to recover so you can get the energy necessary for the work to heal.

[35:28 - 39:39] How to transition more effectively from things like failures, difficult conversations, or a tough day at work

• Get a routine and realize it's sacred.
• The routine starts with breathing exercises. Not just during transitions, but ANYTIME you're feeling strong emotions in your body.
• Continues with stretching. When we collect trauma in our body, it causes our muscles to get tight.
• Dr. G checks himself hour-by-hour and makes sure he's present because that's where the Spirit of the Lord is found…in our presence. If we're not present, we may miss our help! When we're present, we can get our help from God!
• Dr. G washes his hands and uses peppermint oil
• Prays this prayer: "God, help me!"

[39:40 - 46:11] What parents need to be doing amidst a mental health epidemic among children and teens

• "Parents…get help" (as simple as YouTube)
• Make yourself available to get the tools to be mentally strong and then apply them into your life first. Your kids live the message that YOU live. They're learning from us and our habits.
• As you're more calm and relaxed as a parent, your kids are learning in that moment. Just being the calm in the room can make a difference in a child that's dysregulated.

[46:12 - 46:33] Wrapping Up

• Dr. G's BIG domino
• How to connect with Dr. G

KEY QUOTES

"Trauma is 'not your fault.'" - Dr. Stephen Galloza

"You can't fight trauma alone." - Dr. Stephen Galloza

"Rest isn't just a good idea. It's indispensable to living a meaningful and productive life." - Dr. Stephen Galloza

"Give the brain what it needs to recover so you can get the energy necessary for the work to heal." - Dr. Stephen Galloza

"Your kids live the message that YOU live." - Dr. Stephen Galloza

"God's message is in the mess." - Dr. Stephen Galloza

CONNECT WITH DR. G

• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephengalloza
• Website: https://www.mydeeperjourney.com/

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

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How often do you worry?

The research says about 3-4 times per day.

So, for at least three times per day, you're putting your focus on something that's causing stress, anxiety, and a slew of other negative psychological and physiological effects.

I know all about worry. It's run circles around my family for generations, so I've had to put in some serious work to break those strongholds.

In today's 5-Minute Drill, I'm going to show you a reliable way to shift past your worries. Your desired future depends on it.

If you want to consistently have the upper hand when it comes to the worries in your life, then make sure to lock in to today's Drill.

LET'S GET IT!

[00:01 - 08:50] Opening Segment

• J.R. shares interesting facts and stats around worry and what it does to your mind and body

[08:51 - 15:51] What's The Drill?

STEP 1: Grab a piece of paper and make two columns (or make two columns on something like a Google doc).

STEP 2: In Column 1: List out all the common things you worry about and the negative things you're meditating on.

STEP 3: In Column 2: Next to each worry - match it with a Bible verse that speaks to it.

STEP 4: Commit to reviewing this DAILY. Visualize yourself going through the WHAT IFs in a way that's backed by truth, prayer, and positive movement.

And when things come up in your WHAT IF column, and you start to worry…employ the verses. Meditate on them. Speak them out loud. Use them as your positive performance phrase. Then finish with prayer and keep…moving…forward.

[15:52 - 17:03] Wrapping Up!

• What's coming up on the next episode
• Final words

KEY QUOTES

"Faith isn't just believing God can do something. It isn't just hoping God will do something. Faith is thanking God in advance that he's already doing it." - J.R.

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

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What does money have to do with your ability to unlock your best skills, gifts, and abilities?

Everything.

I've said this over and over again…

If either your mind, relationship, or money is off, YOU'RE off…

When you're OFF, you can't be ON your best game.

Too many people (including me!) have gotten caught in the myth that money solves everything.

In today's episode of Coming Up Clutch™️, I summarize the Top 3 nuggets from Monday's interview with financial expert, entrepreneur, investor, and the CEO of Dugout Ventures, Mark Walker.

Mark shattered myths and dropped some serious wisdom when it comes to managing money and building wealth.

Lock in to get the summary of my interview with Mark.

[00:01 - 05:41] Mark's BIG Three

• #1: Recurring mistakes people are making with their money
• #2: Money, Relationships, and their effect on performance
• #3: DOs and DON'Ts when it comes to investing, especially with a group

[05:42 - 07:38] Wrapping Up!

• Make sure to listen to the full interview with Mark to get more of his wisdom and hear his BIG DOMINO
• Take action…
• Pick ONE of the three nuggets to work on
• COMMIT

KEY QUOTES

"Always live at least a year behind your income." - Mark Walker

CONNECT WITH MARK

• Twitter: @MarkWalkerCPA
• Instagram: @DugoutVentures
• Website: https://dugoutventures.com/
• Performance Kitchen: https://performancekitchen.com/

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

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I always used to think that when I made more money, that was the green light to spend more.

That's great thinking if you don't want to be financially independent or, even better, WEALTHY.

If I only had Mark Walker's advice to live behind my income back in the day, I'd be in a much different place financially.

Mark is a financial expert, entrepreneur, and investor and he drops his wisdom on today's episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show.

Mark has spent decades advising and helping some of the wealthiest individuals and families in the world. Today, he's CEO of Dugout Ventures, an early stage investment group that includes legendary MLB players and Hall of Famers, David Ortiz, Nolan Ryan, and Barry Larkin. He's also the Chairman of Performance Kitchen.

LOT of wisdom in this man.

In this latest episode, Mark and I talk about…

• Recurring mistakes people are making with their money
• Money, Relationships, and their effect on performance
• DOs and DON'Ts when it comes to investing, especially with a group

…and so much more.

If you want to build, keep, and share wealth abundantly, then lock in to today's episode.

[00:01 - 12:17] Introducing Mark to the show

• Mark's most embarrassing moment
• Mark's background, story, and professional journey

[12:18 - 21:17] Recurring mistakes people are making with their money

• Most people overspend or spend up until their budget
• Mark's advice: Always live a year or so behind your income. Once you start building a need for a certain lifestyle, it's very hard to take it away.
• Fact: over the course of the past 100 years, the average square footage of a house has doubled (while family size has remained the same)
• Living behind your income will have an amazing impact no your financial stability
• A lot of discontentment comes from financial stress

[21:18 - 29:17] Money, relationships, and their effect on performance

• General rule: Where there is financial stress, it affects every area of your life
• You don't have an option to perform at the highest level when you have anxiety about money floating around you
• With athletes, you can tell by the stat sheets when players are discontent in their lives outside of their sport
• When your finances are in order, it leads to contentment in other areas of your life
• Stop caring about what other people think.

[29:18 - 38:59] DOs and DON'Ts when it comes to investing, especially with a group

• Demonstrate courage with your conviction. Just because you have the opportunity to invest in something, you still need discipline. Mark recommends NOT going all-in in any one investment.
• Treat everyone in an investment group as your teammates
• Honor your teammates, especially for the role they play
• Must be aligned with them and their values

[39:00 - 50:54] Behind the scenes with Dugout Ventures' latest investment: Performance Kitchen

• The importance of nutrition with performance and health
• The effectiveness of various diets in reducing healthcare costs
• Food is a major factor in reducing chronic diseases
• The concept of medically tailored meals

[50:55 - 55:02] Wrapping Up

• Mark's BIG domino
• How to connect with Mark

KEY QUOTES

"Once you start building a need for a certain lifestyle, it's very hard to take that need away." - Mark Walker

"Always live at least a year behind your income." - Mark Walker

"Financial stress affects every area of your life." - Mark Walker

"You don't have an option to perform at the highest level when you have anxiety about money." - Mark Walker

CONNECT WITH MARK

• Twitter: @MarkWalkerCPA
• Instagram: @DugoutVentures
• Website: https://dugoutventures.com/
• Performance Kitchen: https://performancekitchen.com/

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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How many times has something NOT gone your way, and then you just sit in frustration…

Thinking about what could've and should've been?

It's a natural human tendency - our brains LOVE the negative.

But there's a strategy that the world's best use to help them get over the past and refocus for the present…

And it's something EVERYONE has access to…

It's called laughter.

In today's 5-Minute Drill, I help you leverage it to bring out your best after those not-so-best outcomes you get.

If you want to recover more quickly after not getting your way, then make sure to lock in to today's Drill.

LET'S GET IT!

[00:01 - 08:32] Opening Segment

• J.R.'s story about watching a MLB game with his son and the conversation that transpired after his son called out a player laughing after a bad call

[08:33 - 14:36] What's The Drill?

STEP 1: WHAT IF (Awareness)

• Write down all the situations that could possibly cause you to go off-center or knock you off course

STEP 2: I'M GOING TO: Laugh and ________ (Strategy)

STEP 3: VISUALIZATION (Training)

• Visualize yourself laughing and executing your strategy.
• Anchor visualization to one of your routines (best in the AM)

[14:37 - 16:36] Wrapping Up!

• What's coming up on the next episode
• Final words

KEY QUOTES

"Instead of putting your focus on the outcome you didn't get, shift it to a strategy that's more likely to bring out your gift." - J.R.

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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For most of my life, I used to think that when you have more success, life gets easier.

Boy was I wrong.

More leadership…more responsibility.

More money…more complexity.

More status…more temptations.

And the list goes on…

In today's episode of Coming Up Clutch™️, I summarize the Top 3 nuggets from Monday's interview with former University of Georgia Football standout and NFL linebacker, Rennie Curran.

We got into all the challenges Rennie had to overcome when unlocking new levels as an athlete, parent, entrepreneur, thought leader, and philanthropist.

Lock in to get the summary of my interview with Rennie.

[00:01 - 10:44] Rennie's BIG Three

• #1: How to respond when the odds are stacked against you
• #2: Two things many leaders struggle with today and how to overcome them
• #3: What Rennie has learned from trying to balance life as a single dad, entrepreneur, and philanthropist

[10:45 - 11:49] Wrapping Up!

• Make sure to listen to the full interview with Rennie to get more of his wisdom and hear his BIG DOMINO
• Take action…
• Pick ONE of the three nuggets to work on
• COMMIT

KEY QUOTES

"God honors your sacrifices and faith, especially when you act in it." - Rennie Curran

CONNECT WITH RENNIE

• Facebook: @RennieCurran53
• Instagram: @renniecurran
• Linkedin: /in/renniecurran/
• YouTube: @renniecurran
• Website: https://renniecurran.com/
• The Game Changers Foundation: https://gamechangersfoundationga.org/

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

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What do you do when the odds are against you?

Do you sit in fear?

Double-down on your faith?

What does it take to show up bold and confident when all hope seems to be lost?

Former University of Georgia Football standout and NFL linebacker, Rennie Curran, can teach you a thing or two about that…

Beating the odds is his middle name.

He went from being made fun of for his size to becoming one of the greatest linebackers in the history of Georgia's football program and getting drafted 97th overall.

And he continues to beat the odds in his professional life.

Rennie shares his wisdom about overcoming the impossible on today's episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show.

In this latest episode, Rennie and I talk about…

• How to respond when the odds are stacked against you
• Two things many leaders struggle with today and how to overcome them
• What Rennie has learned from trying to balance life as a single dad, entrepreneur, and philanthropist

…and so much more.

If you want to be the person known for consistently beating the odds, then lock in to today's episode.

[00:01 - 11:26] Introducing Rennie to the show

• Rennie's most embarrassing moment
• Rennie's background, story, and professional journey

[11:27 - 20:10] How Rennie was able to come up clutch despite constantly being an underdog

• Operate at the level of your vision. How?...

• MAKE A DECISION - you have two choices: 1.) revert to the level of your circumstances or 2.) revert to the level of your vision (i.e. this is where I want to be, this is who I am, and NOTHING is going to make me compromise that)
• God honors your sacrifices and faith, especially when you act in it

[20:11 - 32:11] How to respond when the odds are stacked against you

• It became my fuel
• You have to take time to dissect your skills and abilities and focus on what you have and don't have
• Leverage the ones that you can use to get your edge (e.g. Rennie's in football: speed, quickness, and agility)
• Rennie used his height to his advantage (instead of looking at it as a disability)
• Have to be a technician to maximize your skills and abilities
• Rennie's advice: Take time to get to know yourself and your strengths (e.g. track your wins)
• How to prevent yourself from focusing on proving others wrong (vs. focusing on your vision):
• Find community or someone to hold you accountable to not go there
• Perspective: realize your opportunity to influence others is SO much bigger than the challenging position you're in (i.e. where vision comes into play)

[32:12 - 38:25] Two things many leaders struggle with today and how to overcome them

• Recruiting and retention: this is the result of a LACK OF CULTURE
• Morale
• How to overcome these challenges?
• Understand that you ARE the culture
• Prepare - win the game before the game (i.e. what are you doing before you get on your Field of Play?)
• When you leave your Field of Play, what are you doing to make success predictable the next day (i.e. Rennie calls them M.I.T.s - most important tasks)

[38:26 - 44:29] What Rennie has learned from trying to balance life as a single dad, entrepreneur, and philanthropist

• Have to get clear on your values and who you want to be. Then, be consistent in that - prioritizing is a key strategy to do that.
• Have to give our kids grace - being a father has given Rennie a glimpse into God's love and grace for him
• Part of loving our kids is to let them fail

[44:30 - 50:03] Wrapping Up

• Rennie's BIG domino
• How to connect with Rennie

KEY QUOTES

"When you go to new levels, you'll face new devils." - Rennie Curran

"God honors your sacrifices and faith, especially when you act in it." - Rennie Curran

CONNECT WITH RENNIE

• Facebook: @RennieCurran53
• Instagram: @renniecurran
• Linkedin: /in/renniecurran/
• YouTube: @renniecurran
• Website: https://renniecurran.com/
• The Game Changers Foundation: https://gamechangersfoundationga.org/

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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What do you do to make pursuing your biggest goals and dreams fun?

If you talk to the world's best who are living and competing in flow, they're having FUN.

We have competitive blood in us, so it's even more important for people like us to make the pursuit of our goals and dreams a game.

In today's 5-Minute Drill, I help you leverage all the benefits neuroscience tells us we get by gamifying your day-to-day.

If you want the pursuit of your biggest goals to be more fun, then make sure to lock in to today's Drill.

LET'S GET IT!

[00:01 - 17:23] Opening Segment

• J.R.'s story about the power of Scorecards
• Why we need Scorecards in our life

[17:24 - 22:23] What's The Drill?

With the Goals you're after in front of you…

STEP 1: For each Goal, list all the activities you believe you'd need to do on a weekly basis that would lead to you accomplishing your Goal. These are the MUSTs for you to hit the goal.

• Some examples:
• WEIGHT LOSS: # of clean meals eaten
• STRENGTH: # of training sessions, # of hitting sessions, # of hours studying the mental game
• BETTER PLAYER: # of hours studying game film
• BETTER HUSBAND AND FATHER: # hours spent with family
• READING: # of hours spent reading

STEP 2: KEEP, KILL, COMBINE your list of measureables from Step 1.

• GOAL: Narrow your list down to 5 to 15 key activities that are going to move the needle towards your goals, and then track them weekly.

STEP 3: Set a goal for each of your activity-based measureables from Step 2.

STEP 4: Create an Excel Sheet or something to track your progress.

STEP 5: Schedule time to review your Scorecard WEEKLY and course-correct as needed

[22:24 - 23:53] Wrapping Up!

• What's coming up on the next episode
• Final words

KEY QUOTES

"Chasing your goals and dreams doesn't have to be hustle and grind 24-7." - J.R.

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

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Why is it not uncommon to hear about Olympic gold medalists and World Champions becoming depressed AFTER they reach the top of their success mountain?

Before I began my personal and professional development journey, I was shocked every time I heard a story about this.

Then I took a few wrong turns and realized how easy it is to fall into the trap.

In today's episode of Coming Up Clutch™️, I summarize the Top 3 nuggets from Monday's interview with two of the world's top experts on the science of human flourishing, Dr. Nick Holton and Dr. Jon Beale.

We talk about the science and how to miss the unfulfillment traps that millions of people fall into every day while chasing success.

Lock in to get the summary of my interview with Dr. Nick and Dr. Jon.

[00:01 - 15:47] Dr. Nick and Dr. Jon's BIG Three

• #1: What is human flourishing and how you can experience it
• #2: The two greatest predictors of general well-being, satisfaction of life, and fulfillment
• #3: What you can't miss if you want to have more life-satisfaction and fulfillment in your daily life

[15:48 - 18:07] Wrapping Up!

• Make sure to listen to the full interview with Dr. Nick & Dr. Jon to get more of their wisdom and hear their BIG DOMINOS
• Take action…
• Pick ONE of the three nuggets to work on
• COMMIT

KEY QUOTES

"Success is not an automatic route to meaning and fulfillment" - Dr. Nick Holton

"Part of the journey to living a good life is identifying what works best for you." - Dr. Jon Beale

CONNECT WITH DR. NICK AND DR. JON

• Nick
• The Antifragile Athlete: www.theantifragileacademy.com
• FlourishFM Podcast: flourishfmpodcast.com
• Instagram: @Dr.nickholton
• Twitter: @dr_nickholton
• Linkedin: /in/nickholton
• Jon
• FlourishFM Podcast: flourishfmpodcast.com
• Instagram: @jonnybeale
• Facebook: @jonnybeale
• Twitter: @DrJonathanBeale
• Linkedin: /in/jonathanbeale

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

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What makes you different from others?

Your answer to that question is one of the keys to living a great life.

Problem is, most people are too focused on keeping up with everyone else, leading to an exhausted life.

This is why I wanted to corner two of the most brilliant minds in the world when it comes to the science of human flourishing.

Special Guests, Dr. Nick Holton and Dr. Jon Beale, join me on today's episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show and teach you how to apply the science to live your BEST life.

In this latest episode, the three of us talk about…

• What is human flourishing and how you can experience it
• The two greatest predictors of general well-being, satisfaction of life, and fulfillment
• What you can't miss if you want to have more life-satisfaction and fulfillment in your daily life

…and so much more.

If you want to flourish in your life and career, then lock in to today's episode.

[00:01 - 11:50] Introducing Dr. Nick and Dr. Jon to the show

• Nick and Jon's most embarrassing moment
• Nick and Jon''s background, story, and professional journey

[11:51 - 21:00] What is human flourishing and how you can experience it

• Jon:
• Methodology behind the research: Identify the things in life that you do for the pursuit of nothing else (i.e. you doing the thing is an end in itself). Do that thing with NO further goal in mind.
• Flourishing research today looks for multiple areas of life that you do just for the sake of doing that thing (e.g. pursuing relationships, being happy, being satisfied, fulfilling your potential, experiencing flow, etc.) and figuring out ways that you can enhance those as much as possible in your life
• Key areas:
• Fulfillment of potential
• Flow
• Close social relationships
• Happiness & positive emotions
• Character strengths or virtues
• Mental/physical health
• There's no research that says you have to reach a baseline in each of those areas of life to flourish
• Harvard definition = your individual well-being is high AND your well-being in relation to others and the context in where you are is high (i.e. defined interpersonally among a community of people). Harvard says you can have high well-being, but not be flourishing
• Positive Psychology (University of Pennsylvania) definition = if you have high well-being, then you're flourishing
• Nick:
• What's not in Harvard's definition of flourishing: achievement, success
• The gap between fulfillment and success is often because we're relying on the end goal of success (i.e something done for a very specific outcome)
• Flourishing is well-being, generally feeling good (but not necessarily all the time), and performing optimally in areas of meaning
• Areas of meaning is important because if you perform optimally in something you're forced into, it won't provide the same level of satisfaction as someone who's performing optimally in areas of meaning

[21:01 - 24:45] The role your purpose plays in regards to flourishing in life

• Research: Asking the question "Why?" is conceptually different than purpose
• Purpose is a sub-component or a pathway to meaning (i.e. it's about impact and contribution)..."it's a bit of the me and a bit of the we"
• The best of the best have both extrinsic and intrinsic motivations, but they're predominantly intrinsic (i.e. they know what their why is and what they're doing each day, and orient their day around it via calendaring, recovery, etc.)
• Success on the field of competition is not an automatic route to well-being, life satisfaction, meaning, and fulfillment

[24:46 - 34:15] The two greatest predictors of general well-being, satisfaction of life, and fulfillment

• Meaning
• Quality of relationships (social connection, community, intimacy, friendship, etc.)
• 2018: In the UN's annual happiness report regarding satisfaction in the workplace, #1 predictor of workplace satisfaction was interpersonal relationships (i.e. we have to like the people we work with); #2 was the job must be interesting (#3 was pay)
• Jon regarding money: common mistake people make are confusing a means with an end in terms of how they're living their lives (i.e. they're focusing on the means rather than the end)
• The "when I _______, I'll focus more on my relationships. Until then, I'm going to grind it out."
• Money can help prevent you from suffering, but it can't be an end in itself (i.e. it's not the source of fulfillment). Once you've reached a point where all your material needs are met, it's not doing much for you
• Human beings can't help themselves from comparing themselves to others

[34:16 - 41:53] What you can't miss if you want to have more life-satisfaction and fulfillment in your daily life

• Nick:
• Ask yourself: What's your recipe for a good life?
• What ingredients do you WANT?
• How much of each ingredient do you NEED?
• Intentionality - cook your recipe!
• What's most important to you (i.e. want), when does it hit a point of diminishing returns (i.e. need), and how do you put the recipe together?
• Jon:
• Part of the journey to living a good life is identifying what works best for you and what makes you different from other people.
• Enhance the eight domains that research says are ends in themselves (but don't focus on making one far surpass the others thus to the detriment of the others)
• Happiness
• Good, close social relationships
• Meaning / purpose
• Flow
• Accomplishment
• Mental and physical health
• Character (developing strengths and character virtues)
• Fulfillment

[41:54 - 46:58] What's anti-fragility and how to leverage it to become a better leader

• Fragile = adversity strikes, we brake
• Resilient = adversity strikes, we navigate it and come out the other side
• Anti-fragile = adversity strikes, we navigate it, come out the other side, and grow our capacity because of it (NOTE: This is not the "suck it up" attitude and rigidity)
• The goal: develop stress tolerance to unpleasantness (because research tells us we need unpleasantness in order to grow)

[46:59 - 54:01] Wrapping Up

• Nick and Jon's BIG domino
• How to connect with Nick and Jon

KEY QUOTES

"Success is not an automatic route to meaning and fulfillment" - Dr. Nick Holton

"In regards to your life satisfaction, don't over-index on money." - Dr. Nick Holton

"Part of the journey to living a good life is identifying what works best for you." - Dr. Jon Beale

"Prioritize what matters the most to you." - Dr. Jon Beale

CONNECT WITH DR. NICK AND DR. JON

• Nick
• The Antifragile Athlete: theantifragileacademy.com
• FlourishFM Podcast: flourishfmpodcast.com
• Instagram: @Dr.nickholton
• Twitter: @dr_nickholton
• Linkedin: /in/nickholton
• Jon
• FlourishFM Podcast: flourishfmpodcast.com
• Instagram: @jonnybeale
• Facebook: @jonnybeale
• Twitter: @DrJonathanBeale
• Linkedin: /in/jonathanbeale

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on any new episodes and Special Guests!

LISTEN to previous episodes on Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google or whatever podcast platform you prefer!