Coming Up Clutch with J.R. Helping Pro and Executive Athletes maximize their success and significance

This is a post for both the men and the ladies.

MEN…

You're not soft if you need to get emotional. You're STRONG.

Don't buy into the narrative that men have to always have the gameface on. Your ultimate growth and success is tied to your willingness to be vulnerable, ESPECIALLY with the people you love and care about.

Real talk, I've learned more about myself (and others!) after crying than I have after laughing.

LADIES…

Encourage the men in your life to show their emotions. Bottling them up helps no one. In fact, it makes matters worse.

The quicker the men in your life learn how to lean into their emotions…

The quicker they're able to communicate their emotions confidently and under control…

The more everyone benefits.

In today's episode of Coming Up Clutch™️, I summarize the Top 3 nuggets from Monday's interview with Super Bowl Champion and former 10-year NFL veteran turned global keynote speaker, author, and entrepreneur, Fred Stokes.

Fred got real about getting emotional and how life-saving having another person to share all parts of his life with was.

Lock in to get the summary of my interview with Fred.

[00:01 - 11:21] Fred's BIG Three

• #1: The one thing Fred would change if he had to do his NFL career all over again
• #2: How to maintain faith and resist temptations in compromising environments and situations
• #3: Fred's advice for those times when you don't believe the affirmations you're telling yourself

[11:22 - 14:23] Wrapping Up!

• Make sure to listen to the full interview with Fred to get more of his wisdom and hear his BIG DOMINO
• Take action…
• Pick ONE of the three nuggets to work on
• COMMIT

KEY QUOTES

"Real men get emotional." - Fred Stokes

CONNECT WITH FRED

• Instagram (Lint Brother): @lintbrother
• Instagram (Fred): @bigplaystokes
• LinkedIn: /in/fredstokes
• Twitter: @FredStokesFoods
• Facebook: @fredstokes.foods
• Website: https://www.lintbrother.com/

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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Storms in life are going to happen. It's the hard truth.

The best phrase I've heard about storms is this: "The storm may be around you, but it's not in you."

When I heard it for the first time, it made me pause for a second.

Because it's really easy to let our challenges, circumstances, or tough situations get the best of us, right?

But what if we spoke life into those storms? What if we let them make us stronger inside?

It's great in theory, but how do we do that? How do we stay calm in the midst of chaos?

I tackle those questions on today's episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show with Super Bowl Champion and former 10-year NFL veteran turned global keynote speaker, author, and entrepreneur, Fred Stokes. Yet another highly successful person getting real about the storms of life.

In this latest episode, Fred and I talk about…

• The one thing Fred would change if he had to do his NFL career all over again
• How to maintain faith and resist temptations in compromising environments and situations
• Fred's advice for those times when you don't believe the affirmations you're telling yourself

…and so much more.

If you want to be more equipped for the storms in your life, then don't miss today's episode.

[00:01 - 13:04] Introducing Fred to the show

• Jody's most embarrassing moment
• Jody's background, story and professional journey

[13:05 - 19:33] The one thing Fred said he'd change if he had to do his NFL career all over again

• He'd take more physical pictures (because sometimes the mental picture doesn't tell the whole story)
• "So as a man thinketh, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7)
• You tend to go where you're looking - how do you see yourself? Where do you see yourself going?

[19:34 - 27:51] How to maintain faith and resist temptations in compromising environments and situations

• Fred's son's epiphany - a lifestyle with booze, drugs, sin is like a bullet train. That train is eventually going to crash. So, you just have to jump off!
• Have to make up your mind regarding what you want in life and speak life into that
• "Good money, good life" is just not true

[27:52 - 44:06] Fred's advice for those times when you don't believe the affirmations you're telling yourself

• Find someone to affirm you and backup what you're saying to yourself
• It goes beyond just having someone to affirm you - because every man needs another man to share the life he never tells
• Real men do get emotional - don't believe the lies that come with "Be a man."

[44:07 - 51:06] Wrapping Up

• Fred's BIG domino
• How to connect with Fred

KEY QUOTES

"You tend to go where you're looking." - J.R.

"Every man needs another man to share the life he never tells." - J.R.

"Real men get emotional." - J.R.

CONNECT WITH JODY

• Instagram (Lint Brother): @lintbrother
• Instagram (Fred): @bigplaystokes
• LinkedIn: /in/fredstokes
• Twitter: @FredStokesFoods
• Facebook: @fredstokes.foods
• Website: https://www.lintbrother.com/

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

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The ultra successful people I've worked with have a common key ingredient…

It's called performance necessity.

How much of it do you have?

In today's 5-Minute Drill, I continue my 4-part series on goal-setting and share the six factors of performance necessity.

You're going to want to make sure you have these working in your favor, especially if you're after BIG goals.

If you want to multiply your momentum towards the best version of you and be known for accomplishing extraordinary goals, then lock in to today's Drill.

LET'S GET IT!

[00:01 - 05:28] Opening Segment

• Quick Recap from last week's Drill

[05:29 - 16:29] What's The Drill?

STEP 1: Identify your Mission.

• Ask yourself: "What's the ONE thing you can do someday (that's in alignment with who you're becoming), that when you accomplish it, you'll be able to look back on your life and say with pride and meaning, 'I made it'?"
• Leverage visualization.

STEP 2: Define your BHAG.

• With that MISSION in front of you, answer this question: "W​hat's the ONE thing you can do in 4-7 years to be on track to achieve your Mission?" I​n other words, w​hat's the ONE big goal, that if you were to accomplish it, your life and impact would be on another level?

STEP 3: Determine why it's necessary for you to accomplish your BHAG.

• Write down all your reasons and motivations for accomplishing your BHAG.

[14:51 - 16:19] Wrapping Up!

• What's coming up on the next episode
• Final words

KEY QUOTES

"You CANNOT become extraordinary without a sense that it's absolutely NECESSARY to excel." - J.R.

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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I had a past pro baseball client who told me he was striking out too much. Guess what he was saying to himself before he got into the batter's box?

"You're going to strike out."

Well, guess what kept happening?

Here's the reality: what you project prospers.

Are you projecting positive or negative outcomes in your life and career?

In today's episode of Coming Up Clutch™️, I summarize the Top 3 nuggets from Monday's interview with former 9-Year MLB veteran and award-winning entrepreneur, Jody Gerut.

Jody shared what he did that helped him experience several desired outcomes during his professional career.

Lock in to get the summary of my interview with Jody.

[00:01 - 10:29] Jody's BIG Three

• #1: Overcoming career hurdles and staying focused
• #2: How to stop hanging on to your past and transition to your next moment and season more effectively
• #3: The key steps you must take before setting goals

[10:30 - 13:56] Wrapping Up!

• Make sure to listen to the full interview with Jody to get more of his wisdom and hear his BIG DOMINO
• Take action…
• Pick ONE of the three nuggets to work on
• COMMIT

KEY QUOTES

"Don't speak it into existence unless you want it there." - Jody Gerut

CONNECT WITH JODY

• Instagram: @jodygerut
• Facebook: @Jody.Gerut.9
• Linkedin: /in/jodygerut
• Website: jodygerut.com

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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When's the last time you gave yourself permission to be great?

You'd be surprised how often this permission topic comes up in my sessions with clients.

As a kid, I remember when my Mom or Dad gave me permission to do something I really wanted to do…

When that moment happened, I was beyond excited.

It was like that permission granted was magic…

It shifted my mood…it fueled me with positive energy.

Here's a revelation I got (that I wish I got so much earlier in my adult life) - when permission is granted, freedom is gifted…

You're free to do what you said you wanted to do.

That's POWERFUL.

And that power is available to you daily.

On today's episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show, I sit down with former 9-Year MLB veteran and award-winning entrepreneur, Jody Gerut, to discuss unlocking your greatness, especially when others have written you off.

In this latest episode, Jody and I talk about…

• Overcoming career hurdles and staying focused
• How to stop hanging on to your past and transition to your next moment and season more effectively
• The key steps you must take before setting goals

…and so much more.

If you want to unlock your greatness more often, then don't miss today's episode.

[00:01 - 14:18] Introducing Jody to the show

• Jody's most embarrassing moment
• Jody's background, story and professional journey
• Jody's ultimate clutch moment

[14:19 - 25:58] Overcoming career hurdles and staying focused

• You have to give yourself permission to be great
• Keys:
• Stay focused on who you are and the steps you took to be great
• Stop overthinking it
• Focus on executing
• Shed your skin of failure on a daily basis
• Jody had a moment where he declared to his managers and coaches, "Here's what I'm going to do." (context: everyone else was getting called up, but him)
• Talked to the best hitters
• Trained with the best
• You have to change yourself in order to become a different version of yourself - if you don't you'll figure out a way to sabotage your own success (and you end up going back to where you think you need to be)

[25:59 - 38:50] How to stop hanging on to your past and transition to your next moment and season more effectively

• What was missing initially for Jody: clear path forward to what he wanted to do, what made me happy, and what was in the way of that
• You're going to have to deal with your objections before you expect to get through them. Bottom line, keep moving.
• Be careful with your "I AMs" (don't let the sentence stop at what you don't have)
• E.g. I don't have a skill set => I don't have a skill set, so I'm going to go get one

[38:51 - 42:12] The key steps you must take before setting goals

• Take inventory of your basic needs and get clear on who you are, and where you're going BEFORE you set goals.
• Create an image of who you want to be and who you want to become.
• C.S. Lewis quote, "Christianity offers nothing to people who are happy with the way things are." (Jody: substitute anything for the word Christianity). If you're happy with the way things are, you're going to struggle creating goals.
• If the pain is not great enough, you will not do the things required that no one will do in order to get you to where you want to be.

[42:13 - 46:40] Wrapping Up

• Jody's BIG domino
• How to connect with Jody

KEY QUOTES

"No matter what you say to yourself, your body has the last say." - Jody Gerut

"You have to give yourself permission to be great." - Jody Gerut

"You have to change yourself in order to become a different version of yourself." - Jody Gerut

"You're going to have to deal with your objections before you expect to get through them." - Jody Gerut

"Don't speak it into existence unless you want it there." - Jody Gerut

CONNECT WITH JODY

• Instagram: @jodygerut
• Facebook: @Jody.Gerut.9
• Linkedin: /in/jodygerut
• Website: jodygerut.com

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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It's amazing how easy it is to fall into the trap of setting goals without being clear on who you are and the version of you you're trying to become.

That trap is filled with frustration, confusion, and regret.

This coming from firsthand experience.

In today's 5-Minute Drill, I kick off my 4-part series on goals. Despite all the goal-setting books and gurus telling you how to set goals, the majority of the world is still not accomplishing theirs.

So, I'm going to share the science-backed strategy I teach my clients to use when it comes to making their Gameplans and goals for the year.

Be encouraged. There's a much more simple, yet powerful way to set your goals.

If you want to go into 2023 with goals that are fully aligned with who you are and the version of you you're trying to become, then lock in to today's Drill.

LET'S GET IT!

[00:01 - 11:25] Opening Segment

• J.R.'s story about a client who had breakthroughs within weeks after following J.R.'s goal-setting process

[11:26 - 14:50] What's The Drill?

• STEP 1: Grab 5 minutes of undistracted, uninterrupted time to have a conversation with your default superhero…that 20-30 year version of you.
• STEP 2: Ask him questions such as:

• • What's he look like?
  • Where's he live?
  • What is he proud of?
  • What's bringing a tremendous amount of meaning to his life? So much meaning that it's bringing him to tears?
  • What's he hearing people say about him?
  • What's life like?
• STEP 3: Write down what came out of your conversation. Capture everything about this future version of you.

[14:51 - 16:19] Wrapping Up!

• What's coming up on the next episode
• Final words

KEY QUOTES

"Clear goals are the result of a clear identity." - J.R.

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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Someone forgot to tell me that all the beliefs and baggage I brought into my marriage would turn into relational blindspots.

When relationship and behavior change expert, Rachel Llanes, brought this up during my interview with her on Monday, I was replaying all the instances where I remember having no clue about the pain I was causing my wife…

The root cause: my beliefs from past experiences, traumas, and expectations (and the baggage that came with them).

In today's episode of Coming Up Clutch™️, I summarize the Top 3 nuggets from Monday's interview with Rachel.

We talked about romantic intelligence and how it can not only remove your blindspots, but also enhance your performance.

Lock in to get the summary of my interview with Rachel.

[00:01 - 10:59] Rachel's BIG Three

• #1: What's romantic intelligence and its impact on your performance
• #2: Four steps we must take to resolve relational conflicts effectively and peacefully
• #3: Rachel's recommendation for how to be more present in your relationship

[11:00 - 13:30] Wrapping Up!

• Make sure to listen to the full interview with Rachel to get more of her wisdom and hear her BIG DOMINO
• Take action…
• Pick ONE of the three nuggets to work on
• COMMIT

KEY QUOTES

"Stop putting the wrong fuel in your partner's love tank." - Rachel Llanes

CONNECT WITH RACHEL

• Linkedin: /in/rllanes/
• Website: https://thegardingroup.com
• Email: [email protected]

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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Your relationship has a bigger impact on your performance than you think.

You can have all the training and preparation you need to have a great game, meeting, practice, or day, but if your relationship is off…

You can't be ON your best game.

So, how can we enhance and protect our closest relationships so we can excel in what we do?

I lean in to that question and more with relationship and behavior change expert, Rachel Llanes, on today's episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show.

This is one of the most powerful and practical interviews I've done this year. It's an absolute must listen if you're in a relationship or plan to be in one for the long haul. I wish I would've had this wisdom before I got married!

In this latest episode, Rachel and I talk about…

• What's romantic intelligence and its impact on your performance
• The four steps we must take to resolve relational conflicts effectively and peacefully
• Rachel's recommendation for how to be more present in your relationship

…and so much more.

If you want your relationships to add more peace, power, and performance to your life and career, then lock in to today's episode.

[00:01 - 12:16] Introducing Rachel to the show

• Rachel's most embarrassing moment
• Rachel's background, story and professional journey

[12:17 - 18:39] Relationships and their effect on performance

• Relationships are at the pinnacle of natural performance enhancers
• Dr. Barbara Fredrickson's research: positive emotions (e.g. love, joy, amusement, etc.) have an impact on creativity, innovation, problem-solving, and performance (they have a medicinal impact on the body on a cellular level that allow us to bounce back from stressful events!)
• When our relationships are solid and sound, we're able to achieve mastery over our craft and think outside the box and grow in ways we never saw before
• Happy people are successful. Not the other way around.

[18:40 - 24:11] What's romantic intelligence and its impact on your performance

• Nothing will test you, bring out your brokenness, and expose your flaws like your romantic partner
• Romantic intelligence requires you to be self-aware and know what you want and expect from your partner. Ask: what do I expect from myself? Then, what do I expect from my partner?
• Some of us have unrealistic, untamed expectations because we grew up watching Disney movies
• Regarding love languages - Rachel's example: Her love language = words of affirmation; husband's love language = physical touch. If she uses words of affirmation to love her husband, she's putting the wrong fuel in his love tank.
• Romantic intelligence is understanding that, in part, we give the love we crave (which, in a way, is very ego-driven).
• Whenever Rachel defaults to loving her husband with HER love language, it's a trigger for her to communicate with his. She encourages us to do the same.
• Romantic intelligence is about understanding the love you crave the most, understanding the love your partner craves the most, putting the right fuel in THEIR love tank, and coaching them on how to put the right fuel in YOUR love tank

[24:12 - 25:42] The 3 "I's" of Intimacy (from Rachel's book, Lucky in Love)

• Romantically intelligent people are very clear in their communication of what they want, need, and feel…
• I want
• I need
• I feel
• A mastery of self is required to master a marriage

[25:43 - 40:47] Four steps we must take to resolve relational conflicts effectively and peacefully

• If you fight right, you strengthen your relationship
• Rachel's H.E.A.L. Model for conflict resolution
• H - do your HOMEWORK (i.e. prepare yourself and the facts for the conversation)
• Facts (specific, measurable, and observable) are the most persuasive and the least offensive - if you anchor your argument to facts, you don't need to use force
• This is where our blindspots are ("our blindspots live in our beliefs")...it challenges our brain to collect the FACTS
• E - EXPRESS the FACTS and your FEELINGS about them
• Regarding getting defensive - the moment your emotions escalate is the moment the issue gets put on the backburner (and you deal with the relationship)
• Your issue is Priority #2. Your relationship is Priority #1.
• A - ASK your partner for their perspective, and then ASK for a reasonable change
• L - LIFT the positive outcomes you anticipate will happen if they agree to what you ask for in the ASK step above.
• This plugs into your partner's intrinsic motivation (and more likely will put the issue to bed for good)

[40:48 - 47:40] Rachel's recommendation for how to be more present in your relationship

• Every couple needs to find their own system for communicating things
• Leverage a focal point (e.g. Rachel's = picture of family in office)
• Develop a discipline of doing LESS (e.g. Rachel - when she's driving, she's just driving…not listening to music, podcasts, etc.). Tip: Ask, "Am I uni-tasking?"

[47:41 - 52:34] Wrapping Up

• Rachel's BIG domino
• How to connect with Rachel

KEY QUOTES

"Relationships are at the pinnacle of natural performance enhancers." - Rachel Llanes

"Happy people are successful. Not the other way around." - Rachel Llanes

"Stop putting the wrong fuel in your partner's love tank." - Rachel Llanes

"A mastery of self is required to master a marriage." - Rachel Llanes

"If you anchor your argument to facts, you don't need to use force." - Rachel Llanes

"Our blindspots live in our beliefs." - Rachel Llanes

"Motivation is the soil that discipline grows out of." - Rachel Llanes

CONNECT WITH RACHEL

• Linkedin: /in/rllanes/
• Website: https://thegardingroup.com
• Email: [email protected]

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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"OMG…he just won't SHUT UP!"

How many times have you caught yourself saying that?

I can tell you, my wife stopped counting at 10,672 when it comes to saying that about me.

But, seriously, have you ever wondered how to get out of conversations that are draining you without being rude or a jerk?

In today's 5-Minute Drill, I share a communication strategy that I recently shared with a client when he told me he always has trouble getting out of conversations that were taking too long.

There's a key approach that I'm noticing many people are missing when it comes to everyday conversations and interactions, so that's what we're going to get into today.

If you want to better protect your time, sanity, and boundaries in conversations, then lock in to today's Drill.

LET'S GET IT!

[00:01 - 09:19] Opening Segment

• J.R.'s story about a client who was having trouble exiting time-sucking conversations

[09:20 - 16:19] What's The Drill?

• STEP 1: Pre-plan your response for your next conversation that comes up when you're on a tight schedule and don't have a ton of time to chit-chat. Remember your 3Cs in this response: Compliment, Clarify, Confirm
• BONUS STEP: Check yourself at the door - do you have a tendency to people-please, especially in your conversations? Spend time thinking about that.

[16:20 - 18:19] Wrapping Up!

• What's coming up on the next episode
• Final words

KEY QUOTES

"You have a choice - either steward well the time God's given you, or please others." - J.R.

"It's not about your exit from a conversation. It's about your entrance into it." - J.R.

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

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Want more influence?

Then stop pretending to have it all figured out.

Seems counterintuitive, but it's the dang truth. I can tell you from firsthand experience.

In today's episode of Coming Up Clutch™️, I summarize the Top 3 nuggets from Monday's interview with 3-time head and neck cancer survivor, 4-time author, and one of the best communicators and leaders I know, Michele Cushatt...

Talk about a REAL person - Michele is no stranger to vulnerability. As a result, she's finding her influence, reach, and impact growing disproportionately.

Lock in to get the summary of my interview with Michele.

[00:01 - 14:13] Michele's BIG Three

• #1: How to overcome challenges that feel insurmountable and God doesn't seem to be there to help
• #2: What to do when you feel broken and don't know what to do
• #3: How to handle moments or seasons that lack peace

[14:14 - 15:35] Wrapping Up!

• Make sure to listen to the full interview with Michele to get more of her wisdom and hear her BIG DOMINO
• Take action…
• Pick ONE of the three nuggets to work on
• COMMIT

KEY QUOTES

"During a challenge, you have two choices: Be defined or derailed by it, or be developed by it." - Michele Cushatt

CONNECT WITH MICHELE

• Twitter: @michelecushatt
• Instagram: @michelecushatt
• Facebook: @michelecushatt
• LinkedIn: /in/michelecushatt
• Website: www.MicheleCushatt.com
• Buy Michele's New Book - A Faith That Will Not Fail: 10 Practices to Build Up Your Faith When Your World Is Falling Apart

CONNECT WITH J.R.

• Facebook: @jamesJRreid
• Instagram: @jamesjrreid
• LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/
• Twitter: @jamesJRreid
• Website: jamesreid.com
• For Men Only - Check out The Clutch Club™️: jamesreid.com/club

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

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