Commitment Phobe

Many of you have asked me lately how is it that I show up on social media every day and share so openly and vulnerably about myself and my life. 

As you've heard me talk about on this podcast, vulnerability did NOT always come easy to me, and posting my story on Instagram has actually been one of the biggest tools I have used to step deeper and deeper into my truth sharing and vulnerability.

So I came on today to tell you a little more about that! Enjoy!

Are you a jealous person? If so, how do you work with jealousy in your relationships? Jealousy is SUCH a touchy subject for some people, so I wanted to have a conversation about it with some fresh perspectives. My guests today, Rishi Bond and Vanessa Viglietta, are two friends from different corners of the world whom I brought together to talk about the role jealousy plays in relationships and how we can actually use it for learning and personal growth. I chose Vanessa for this conversation because she's in an open relationship with her partner and  I wanted to hear how she works with jealousy in a way that betters the relationship. Rishi on the other hand, wanted to bring in the masculine perspective from "player" to "conscious relating". If you find it hard to deal with jealousy or talk about it, you don't want to miss this one! 

Here's what we talk about: 

-How jealousy can be a path to your desires. -How Vanessa changed relationship with women by using jealousy as curiosity marker. -Working through jealousy in poly/open relationships. -How talking about jealousy openly can deepen connection and intimacy with your partner. -Rishi's way of using jealousy to manipulate women and what inspired him to change. -My own relationship to jealousy and how it's come up in dating. -How helpful it can be to talk about infidelity in partnership. -The difference between envy and jealousy.  -How our upbringing shaped our perspective on jealousy being a sin.  And so much more juiciness! Connect with Rishi Bond: https://www.instagram.com/rishibond/ Connect with Vanessa Viglietta: https://www.instagram.com/vanessaviglietta/

Being bullied for being the "fat girl" at school, Reva Wild grew up thinking her body was a problem, and wasn't worthy of loving. 

It wasn't until she took an unconventional college dance class that she started questioning the voice in her head that said she was broken, and the stories in her environment that told her she "should" be and look different.  Today Reva is the Co-CEO of a sexual shamanic training WILDGRACE that teaches on on the feminine tantric arts and intuitive awakening. She has supported hundreds of clients and participants, from women and non binary folks to couples and preteen girls, with her wild and tangible passion for reclaiming our genesis as beings of eros and igniting them to fall in love with their bodies, power of choice and deepest desires. Tune in to a very important conversation about the role our stories and beliefs have in our self-image, self-expression and happiness, and how it important it is to question them and let go of any that tell us we're not ok exactly the way we are. 

-What is our feminine side? Why has it been repressed in the last thousands of years? -What does it mean to rewild? -What is our "havigness level" and the small ways Reva practiced expanding hers to receive more and more abundance and love. -Why it's so healing to be naked in spaces with other people.  -Reva's surprising way to deal with the fear of judgement as a feminine leader who's always walked her own path. -How Reva transformed her relationship with her inner critic.  -How dance was a powerful tool for Reva's return to loving herself and feeling all of her emotions. Reva's mission is to create spaces where people question their stories and patterns of feeling small, unworthy, and undesirable and invite people deeper into their own expression to choose the freedom and eroticism that's possible in their bodies.

https://www.instagram.com/reva.wild/ https://www.thewildgracemovement.com/trainings

"So it's not Commitment Phobia, I just like breaking and making bonds?" "So it's not Commitment Phobia, I just don't really do anything between a one-night stand and a soulmate connection?" These were my reactions the first time I learned about my specific human design! Human Design combines astrology, the I Ching, Kabbalah and Vedic philosophy, centering around the division of personalities into five energy types alleged to indicate how someone is supposed to exchange energy with the world: Manifestors, Generators, Manifesting Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors. Join me in a conversation with Human Design Specialist Bri Rubin as we talk about the different ways learning your Human Design can support you with learning about yourself, your desires and behaviors when it comes to love and relationships.   Bri is extremely passionate about Human Design and shares some fun facts that can help you have so much approval for yourself once you learn your design. In a world where we have a lot of stories of what's "right" and "wrong" such as calling someone a commitment phobe, Human Design is a breath of fresh air, pointing to the importance of honoring YOUR natural way of relating and relationship to love and sex. 

Bri Rubin is a Human Design Specialist, an artist, yoga teacher and coach. In addition to giving readings and providing ongoing integration support, she also works for MyBodyGraph and Jovian Archive, the official library of primary source Humam Design material.  Book a call with Bri through her IG account _brirubin_

On today's episode I talk about my experience practicing detachment and surrender with money lately and how it also applies to relationships.

My relationship with money (like everyone else's) has had it's kinks and I've taken it more seriously than ever this year to really heal the limiting beliefs and blocks I had around creating financial abundance in my business. 

On this podcast I share with you how letting go of the results I wanted and tapping into the feelings of my desired future really helped me get out of the scarcity mindset and frustration I was in. 

I talk about:

-Why it was so helpful when one of my coaches told me I might not make any money this year.  -How I was experiencing my own neediness get in the way of having ease in my business. -What we miss out on when we don't have patience and don't slow down.  -Why it's enlightening to ask yourself why you DON'T want to make money/have a relationship. -What I learned in my one week in Medellin around listening to myself.  -The opportunity I got to step into my power when sh*t fell apart right before I led a retreat. -The misconceptions we have around attachment vs. authenticity when we talk about attachment styles.  And more!!

How do we give ourselves what we hope others give us? What does it look like to fill up our own cup? This is an important question to ask ourselves, because if we can't give the love we want to ourselves we won't be able to see it or receive it from others.

My guest Rinsha Ballani has for years, worked on putting herself first in her life and being her own greatest lover. 

Rinsha grew up conditioned to think that someone and something OUT THERE was going to make her feel loved. She did not believe she could trust herself.

She based her relationship desires on what magazines and the movies told her. Through her work and journey in life she started saying no to the life she'd built around making others happy and started looking at what SHE wanted and needed to stop being miserable. Tune in to find inspiration in Rinsha's radical transformation in her relationship to herself and in her creation of a life where we only does what she wants to do. 

We tallk about: -How discovering your desires may take asking yourself what you want over and over again. -Rinsha's turning point of leaving her old life behind and driving herself across the country.  -What it means to have your own inner "trust bank." -Why Rinsha buys lingerie for herself. -Why we won't ACTUALLY want people to pour love into us sometimes. Contact Rinsha at @rinshaballani on Instagram to find out about her 1-1 coaching and her free Facebook Community for big birls called "Live Big" where big girls can receive love support and connection.

"It's a joy to watch people relax into who they are."

Araminta is passionate about helping people come back to their authentic truth and expression by learning how to be with their emotions and their full range of human experience. How do we learn from our emotions and our body?

It was a pleasure to get Araminta's perspective on how to live in alignment with our feelings and truth and what happens when we fall in love with another. Historically, our whole culture of love and relationship is new. Tune in to listen to Araminta talk about why it's powerful to give up the idea of finding the "one" and how romantic love/eros is a way to help one come into sacred union with oneself, rather than with another. "You are your own princess/prince."

We also talk about: -Importance of being curious about the sacred messages behind our emotions. -How to work through codependency and caretaking in relationship. -Reframing the relationship with rage. -Feeling what is right and wrong in every moment within us and standing up for that. -What does it mean to listen to your body vs your head? -How sexual desire/erotic energy is a way our body gets our attention to lead us towards a certain direction. -How pleasure can heal us. -The roles that projection and mirroring have when we fall in love.

My guest Araminta Barbour is a Lead Faculty with ISTA (the International School of Temple Arts) with whom she has collaborated since 2011, Araminta is the founder of The Sanctuary Guatemala, creator of The Resilience Journey, and co-creator of the Women Who See In The Dark project.

My conversation today is with my good friend Kyle Mercer who talks to me about the power of what he calls the "want for us."

As opposed to asking ourselves in a relationship what I want or what you want, there's a lot more harmony and connection possible when together, we think about what's the want for us, and what kind of decisions we would be making in honor of that want. 

We also talk about: -Setting boundaries and context in relationship and using the RBDSM conversation. -The deconstruction part of our journey that's necessary for change or creating something new.-The different levels of consciousness we operate from.

Kyle’s website: https://www.lifeataltitude.com/

Kyle’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/inquirymethod

Kyle’s Book available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Altitude-Elevating-Think-Experience-ebook/dp/B08JHRY1F3/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1S01MM6FIPBOZ&keywords=life+at+altitiude+kyle+mercer&qid=1649329934&s=books&sprefix=life+at+altitiude+kyle+mercer%2Cstripbooks%2C52&sr=1-1-spell

"Just be yourself" isn't such a simple task to take on.

As a Jamaican Puerto Rican man from Jersey, Chris Rodriguez struggled with that as he experienced many situations where we muted or changed his personality to fit into the proffesional industry, from softening himself so he wasn't perceived as a threat, to the way we dressed.

Eventually, he lost himself, his expression of his authentic emotions and his connection to his true passions and talents. 

How can we really be ourselves if we're not realizing the ways we're abandoning ourselves to fit? All the while being told mixed messages to be ourselves but also not too unique that it disrupts the norm?

Chris comes on to tell his story on reconnecting to himself and how he helps others do that through movement and coaching and what he says is "living through that soul place." 

Chris talks about how innovation can't happen when you don't let people bring their soulful presence.

He also talks about how to bring your story into your world without bringing your unresolved trauma by blowing it on other people. 

He emphasizes on the importance of having people in our lives that can see us in all of our unresolved places.

Tune in to listen to so much more about expressing anger in relationships, the turtle and storm spectrum in conflict, and the role of permission givers in our lives.  Connect to Chris on Instagram at @coach_chrisrodriguez

To them, open relating can be a spiritual practice that challenges you to take your integrity and healing to the next level in relationship by getting more comfortable with the unknown, uncertainty, and creating the safety within instead of relying on the external or the other for it.

Tune in to this week's episode to hear about their journeys in their sexual liberation and and how that impacted their comfort in their own bodies, aliveness and self-expression.

We talk about: -How to create longing before connecting to someone and how that helps your nervous system relaxing. -How to lean into edges and follow triggers in relationships to heal. -How they worked on their codependent patterns in relationships. -Ways of creating safety through conversation in  relationships to break codepentent patterns. -The benefits of keeping the future of relationships a mystery vs. planning a detailed vision of your future. -How to create healthy space in relationship and bring consciouness to each person's needs when you come back together.  -Taking turns in holding the masculine and feminine poles. -How to keep the spark alive in relationship. and so much more juiciness!

I had the honor of learning from Briana and Blake in an ISTA training (The International School of Temple Arts) where they taught me what it looks like to be fully slef-expressed leaders and thw power of connecting to and expressing BOTH your feminine and masculine energies.

If you're curious to work with Briana and Blake on sacred sexuality body or your relationship dynamics virtually or in person reach out to them on www.brianacribeyer.com or find them on Instagram @blakezealar or @she_boldly_goes_