Communicate to Lead

Whether you call it your saboteur, sabotaging voice, or inner critic, we have all fallen prey to our critical internal voice. There’s so much literature about the effect of ignoring that internal voice, and today, we’re switching things up and giving you tips and strategies to confront that voice head-on and reclaim your power. 

In my conversation this week, my guest, Sarah Benenson Goldberg, breaks down how to manage your sabotaging voice and the importance of having a vision for yourself.

Sarah is a seasoned consultant, coach, and communication expert focusing on developing influential and high-performing leaders who want to thrive in complex global environments. She brings a unique blend of strategic and empathetic insight to her clients’ roles as leaders. With a commitment to growing the whole person, Sarah supports clients in heightening self-awareness while embracing strengths and uncovering potential blind spots. Her coaching process focuses on adopting the mindset of a leader and evolves to include leadership behaviors, communication skills, and strategic thinking. 

The key takeaway from our conversation is that managing your sabotaging voice starts with awareness of your thoughts and feelings that generate your behaviors. Being a leader starts with doing the internal work first.

Here’s the episode at a glance:

• [02:09] There’s a big distinction between having a vision and a plan, and everything starts with the vision. 
• [10:13] Myers Briggs captures the most innate and authentic you, and deep down inside your core, you don’t change.
• [12:57] Everyone has a sabotaging voice, and the best way to deal with it is to manage it. And it all starts with raising that voice to intense consciousness and noticing what happens in your body when your sabotaging voice speaks up. 
• [19:03] One of the questions is, how do you know when you’ve gotten to perfect? Do you have a checklist? The first piece is to recognize there is no such thing as perfect.
• [20:44] Often, we hold ourselves back from offering an idea or opinion because we’re so worried about being judged. We forget that whether the idea is good or bad, or somewhere in the middle, it’s often a springboard for somebody else’s idea. 
• [23:54] Recognizing your sabotaging voice starts with being familiar with the themes that come up. 
• [25:12] Your saboteur only lives in the past and future, not in the present. When you keep telling yourself, “If only I had done that, or why  was I so stupid?” The future is “What if this happens? What if they don’t like me? What if I fail?” It’s all the what-ifs. When you are in the present, the saboteur doesn’t live there. Bring yourself to the present; literally, put your feet on the floor and feel the weight of your feel. Put your hand where you’re feeling the tension of your clenched jaw or your stomach dropping.
• [28:33] Confidence and empowerment is the greatest tool to back our saboteur. 
• [33:06] Having a vision is critical. It doesn’t have to be well-formed. It’s just a vision you always want to be moving towards.
• [35:43] Often, our sabotaging voice stops us from having a vision. It might be saying, “Oh, you could never do that.”

Connect with Sarah at https://www.sbgleadership.com/ to learn more about her work.

If you’re interested in Sarah’s leadership program, click the link for more information: https://www.sbgleadership.com/register. 

Found the episode helpful? Please share it with other leaders who’ll benefit from the impactful conversation. I know they’ll thank you.

Connect with your host, Kele:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetailoredapproach/
Website: https://thetailoredapproach.com 

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) have been the buzz phrase in the last few years. Today, my guest addresses how this concept plays out in product development and management. 

Dr. Dédé Tetsubayashi, Founder & CEO of incluu, is an Ethical Technologist and Social Scientist. She synergizes her lived experience as a Black queer woman with an invisible disability with her over 20 years of experience in ethical tech, product equity & inclusion as a catalyst for creating brave spaces and products for all. Her work empowers individuals and organizations committed to investing in equitable and accessible product development and design processes, unlocking their full potential in their products, people, and practices.

In our conversation, Dédé pulls back the curtain on what building products for equitable outcomes and non-discrimination means and why she founded her business, incluu. 

We dive into some fascinating topics such as:

• How straddling multiple identities played a role in shaping Dédé’s future and ultimate career choices.
• Why relationship building and intentional curiosity are crucial in building a culture of inclusivity.
• How the Incluu team helps companies and their teams understand their circles of influence and why it’s essential to increase those circles.
• Bridging the gap between technology, justice, and ethics.
• The biggest challenge facing leaders today is fear and functioning from a place of fear of the unknown.
• Why a leader needs to hold strong beliefs loosely that will enable them to have a transparent dialogue.
•  Why do leaders need to be aware of their knowledge gaps and understand when it’s time to ask for help.
• Dédé recommends two books that offer a deeper dive into how high tech tools profile, police, and punish the poor and reinforce the inequality in our society: Automating Inequality by Virginia Eubanks and Weapons of Math Destruction by Cathy O’Neil.

Connect with Dédé at www.incluu.us and tune into her podcast Brave Spaces Roundtable to learn more about the work that Dédé and her team do.

If you found the conversation helpful, subscribe to the podcast, so you don’t miss any future episodes.

Connect with your host, Kele:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetailoredapproach/

Website: https://thetailoredapproach.com 

If you’re a leader or aspiring leader wanting to write a book, whether it's a book about your personal life or your expertise, today’s episode is for you.

In this week’s episode, Kele has a conversation with Hollis Citron, owner of I am Creative and Express Yourself Publishing. Hollis is on a mission to make creativity accessible to everyone by exposing them to new possibilities. She is passionate about helping people build the confidence to recognize, encourage, and express the innate creativity that they are born with. 

Hollis believes that creativity goes beyond the pencil and the brush. Creativity is your unique and original exploration, expansion, and expression of your imagination. 

According to Hollis, even if you are not “an artist,” you are a creative being. You are creative because you are the only person who can add your gifts to the things you create. You are creative because only you can express your ideas and greatness with the world. 

Here’s the episode at a glance:

• Hollis shares why she started her businesses, I Am Creative, and more recently, Express Yourself Publishing.
• She discusses in-depth why she’s on a mission to expand the definition of creativity.
• Hollis talks about the importance of meeting authors and potential authors where they are, helping them feel comfortable, and creating a safe space where they can explore and tell their stories in their own way.
• She believes that the biggest challenge that authors and potential authors face today is being in their own way and overthinking the writing process. 
• We get into the incredible benefit of going with a nontraditional publishing house and how that’s expanded opportunities for more aspiring authors to get published. 
• Hollis offers some great tips for getting over the dreaded writer’s block to get you back into your writing flow.  Hollis recommends reading The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks to help you get out of your own way.
• You can connect with Hollis Citron at https://www.iamcreativephilly.com and if you’d like to get involved in her next multi-author book, contact her for a quick conversation.  

If you enjoyed this conversation with Hollis Citron, please share it with a leader or aspiring leader who’d like to write a book, and let’s get our stories out there and help others with our expertise.

 Connect with Kele:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetailoredapproach/    

Website: https://thetailoredapproach.com    

“If people don’t have the willingness to lean into discomfort, to have a hard conversation, the uncertainty, the vulnerability of a hard conversation, it doesn’t matter how skilled they are; they’re not going to do it.” - Katie Fredricksen

In this week’s episode, I’m conversing with Katie Fredricksen, a Leadership Development Professional, Executive Coach, and Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator. 

For over 25 years, Katie has worked in partnership with individuals and teams to help strengthen critical thinking skills, engage in courageous conversations, and build trust and strong connections. As a facilitator, consultant and coach, she wholeheartedly believes that we all deserve to love what we do. Katie’s committed to helping others cultivate more aliveness and engagement in their lives and work.

Katie has had the privilege of working with and for various organizations, giving her a breadth of experience that enhances her adaptability and knowledge and allows her to meet a client where they are. Her strength lies in her natural curiosity, resourcefulness, and constant desire to learn, grow, and guide her clients to become brave and bold leaders.

Listen in as Katie share’s her unique story of how she started her life’s work when she was in high school after a very transformational experience in a peer counseling program. She has been doing leadership development work her entire life.

Here’s the episode at a glance:

• Katie shares why she finally chose to work for herself after many years of working with various organizations.
• She talks about how her core value of “growth” has helped her in her development journey and how she helps her clients grow.
• We get into the benefit of bringing your whole self to work and why welcoming all the different voices and opinions adds depth to our culture.
• Katie believes the most significant challenge that leaders face today is that teams are feeling disconnected and how to navigate that.
• You’ll hear more about her favorite communication tip and why really listening cultivates an environment of connectedness.

If you enjoyed this conversation with Katie Fredricksen, please share it with another leader or aspiring leader. Let’s support each other in becoming the great leaders that we know we are capable of being. 

Connect with Kele:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetailoredapproach/ 

Website: https://thetailoredapproach.com 

When leaders feel burned out, and teams crave connection, psychological safety, and support, being intentional with how we lead is essential to moving everyone forward in a much healthier way.

In this week’s episode, Kele has a conversation with Tiffany Castagno, the CEO and founder of CEPHR, LLC, a Human Resources Consulting Firm that supports Small to Mid-sized Businesses to build their infrastructures-to-scale, strong teams, and a strong Employer Brand and culture.

Tiffany is a transformative HR Curator of Culture. Her why is building more psychologically safe organizations and cultures and stronger leadership to support the people and processes within organizations.

Tiffany is Co-Author of a Children’s Book, “Can a Zebra Change Its Stripes?” that teaches children about embracing difference. She enjoys serving her community and believes that together is better. 

Here’s the episode at a glance:

• Why Tiffany passionately disagrees with the notion that leaders “just want to rule over people and inherently abuse their authority.”
• Having a transparent infrastructure and a clearly defined role for a new leader is the best way to set them up for success.
• Tiffany offers three tips to new leaders to help them become the best possible leaders they can be. 
• Tiffany discusses how leaders can address burnout with their team and take care of themselves.
• Why empathy plays a vital role in addressing burnout and supporting your team.
• How to use curious questions to build connections and intentionally reconnect with those working remotely - check out the great questions you can use with your team or clients.
• Why being resilient is vital in your leadership journey.

If you enjoyed this conversation with Tiffany Castagno, please share it with another leader or someone who’s shown leadership potential. I know they’ll thank you!

Connect with Kele:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetailoredapproach/ 

Website: https://thetailoredapproach.com 

Do you get a knot in your stomach when someone says, “May I give you some feedback?” Maybe you automatically assume the feedback will be negative, and you get ready to defend yourself. 

Feedback is essential for continued growth, yet so many of us are bad at giving and accepting it. 

In this week’s episode, Kele discusses the 5 principles that you must keep in mind when giving someone effective feedback and what you need to do to encourage others to provide you with candid feedback.

Feedback is a two-way street. For your team to thrive, you have to foster an environment of giving and receiving feedback. That means you have to get better at providing specific and actionable feedback, AND your team has to become more comfortable with giving you and each other feedback. 

There are 5 principles to keep in mind when giving someone effective feedback:

• Make it specific.
• Keep it balanced. 
• Keep it relevant.
• Stay focused.
• Follow up.

Once you know how to give actionable and impactful feedback it’s important to learn how to encourage your team to give you honest and helpful feedback. 

To encourage your team to give you feedback, here are some helpful tips you can use:

• Create an environment where people feel safe enough to give candid feedback.
• Embrace feedback as a normal part of the work-day. 
• Some questions you can use to help you solicit feedback are: 
  • How can I best support you? 
  • What can I do differently when leading meetings? 
  • What do you need from me? 
  • What could I have done better to support you/the team?
  • What’s the ONE thing you’ve been wanting to tell me but you’ve been holding back?
• Accept that it’s going to be uncomfortable, at least initially. 
• Listen without interrupting. 
• Thank the person for their feedback and own your mistakes. 

Most of us didn’t know how to give or receive feedback when we start our careers, but if growth and cultivating a strong team is essential to us, we need to lean into feedback despite past experiences or how we might be feeling in the moment.

If you found today’s episode helpful, please share it with another leader or someone who’s shown leadership potential. I know they’ll thank you for it.

Helpful resources on feedback:

• Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen
• Radical Candor by Kim Scott

In this week’s episode, Kele has a candid conversation with Athena Trede, deputy director of Administrative Services at the City of San José. As the only woman on the executive leadership team of the San José Fire Department, Athena understands the importance of navigating tough conversations with transparency and a significant level of respect.

Athena shares the lessons she’s learned in her more than 25 years of experience in public service with the City of San José. She has navigated her career path through various positions in operations, administrative support, and management that have all shaped her devotion and desire for her and her teams to do their best every day. 

In this episode, you’ll hear more about:

• Why it’s crucial to have transparent and honest conversations with your team and always solicit feedback.
• The importance of explaining your “why” when communicating your vision, so others buy into it.
• Having empathy for those who disagree with decisions that have been made.
• How to build trust by allowing your team to get to know you.
• Why great leaders are those who break the golden rule.

If you enjoyed this conversation with Athena Trede, subscribe to Communicate to Lead for more candid discussions with great leaders.

You can also find the show notes at:

https://thetailoredapproach.com/ctl-podcast-ep006/ 

Connect with Kele:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetailoredapproach/ 

Website: https://thetailoredapproach.com 

With her thought-provoking statement, Ayana Blount sets the stage for her thought leadership.

Ayana, also known as The Passion Strategist, believes that as a leader, there's something you are supposed to do, something you are supposed to give, and something you are supposed to leave behind. 

When you think of your leadership, what are you doing to transform the lives of those you're leading? Tune in to this week's episode to hear Ayana drop some truths, impart wisdom and inspire us to craft a legacy that's worth celebrating. 

Ayana is a coach, strategist, speaker, author, and innovator. She is known for her engaging speaking style, creative visualization, and strategic planning skills. Her passion for engaging, empowering, and encouraging innovators helps her clients transcend tough times and see their success. 

Recognized as a thought leader, community advocate, and transformational influencer, Ayana has been sought after by community-based and corporate leaders alike. She has successfully planned, hosted, and executed community resource fairs securing dozens of corporate partnerships.  

Ayana is the success coach who inspires entrepreneurs to see themselves as creatives. If you're still in doubt, listen in for Ayana's account of her leadership journey.

Here's the episode at a glance:

• [3:24] Understanding what gives you joy in your business and the legacy you want to leave for your loved ones.
• [6:06] Why it's essential to seek out authenticity over applause and the fact that we all have a measure of creativity that lives inside of us. We get to decide if we live out that creativity as a leader.
• [7:02] Learn more about Ayana's three-pronged strategy that can help you live out your creativity as an entrepreneur and leader.
• [7:17] That success is not a cookie-cutter journey.
• [7:43] The one question that leaders should have posed to them, probably annually, to ensure they keep a finger on the pulse.
• [9:03] Leadership is about giving or setting the example and receiving and being led by others.
• [9:27] Why she disagrees with the belief that the leader's job is to encourage everyone else, but they don't need any encouragement.
• [10:35] How leaders can ask for what they need engagingly and interactively.
• [12:07] Why being intentional is essential in communicating your vision and getting your team to buy into it.
• [16:14] How you can break through constantly trying to prove yourself and instead focus on the impact you can make.
• [16:35] Why it's essential to embrace yourself fully, so you don't find yourself in competition with others.
• [19:47] How introverted leaders can arm themselves with universal questions to ensure they don't have to do all the talking and the meeting or networking event is an interactive and enjoyable experience for everyone. 
• [24:25] Why leadership is an assignment and not a position.

If you enjoyed the conversation with Ayana Blount today, subscribe to Communicate to Lead for more candid discussions with different leaders. 

You can also find the show notes at:

https://thetailoredapproach.com/ctl-podcast-ep005/   

Connect with Kele:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetailoredapproach/ 

Website:  https://thetailoredapproach.com

How would you rate your level of self-awareness? Do you know how you come across to your team, or do you assume to know what they think of your communication style? 

This last week or so, I’ve been intently following a story of what NOT to do when you need to lay off employees. At this point, it seems the CEO of Better.com agrees that he could have handled the entire situation much better. 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, a week or so ago, the CEO of Better.com laid off 900 employees on a group Zoom call. You can check out one of the video clips on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dFpD_ryzNo 

Here’s the episode at a glance:

• Often we think we know how we come across, but we don’t because we don’t ask our team or audience for feedback.
• A big part of self-awareness is knowing the difference between intent versus impact. Your intent might be one thing, but what your audience hears is entirely different.
• In this episode, I discuss the case study of the CEO of Better.com, a direct mortgage lender, and how his message went wrong on a Zoom call. 
• I use the communication pillars of messaging and presence to outline how the Zoom call unfolded.
• There are four questions you must ask yourself when preparing a message for your team if you want to be seen as a respected and influential leader:
  • Who is your audience?
  • What do they care about?
  • How do they feel about you?
  • What and how much do they know about your message? Will it be a complete surprise?

Dive into the episode and get ready to learn how NOT to lay off your team members when you have to. 

If you enjoyed this episode, share the Communicate to Lead podcast with others who’ll find it helpful.

You can also find the show notes at:

https://thetailoredapproach.com/ctl-podcast/  

Self-awareness Can Help You Be A Better Leader

Have you ever thought about why some leaders make leadership seem effortless, and it’s not entirely clear why others have a tough time leading? 

In this episode, my guest, the amazing Sheetal Sujan, discusses why emotional intelligence is key to being a great leader and breaks down the five pillars of emotionally intelligent leaders.

Sheetal has over 12 years of experience as a trainer and coach and is an MBTI Master Practitioner and an Emotional Intelligence Practitioner. In her programs, her goal is to positively motivate individuals to strengthen their true talents and skills, overcome their challenges, and get the most out of their personal and work life.

As an entrepreneur, public speaker, transformational trainer & coach, digital course creator, wife, and mom of two, Sheetal knows how many balls leaders often have to juggle. She gets candid about how challenging leadership is and why taking care of yourself should be a priority.

Sheetal is passionate about helping individuals and teams thrive in their personal and work relationships, steering individuals to understand the impact they have in their lives and the lives of others. 

So, if you’d like to know more about the impact of emotional intelligence on your leadership, you don’t want to miss this episode!

Here’s what you can expect in the episode:

• [3:15] Why leadership is a demanding but rewarding job and how emotional intelligence plays a significant role in leadership.
• [7:00] Why you need to be the best listener in the room when you’re the leader, and it’s about more than using your ears. It’s also about using your eyes and understanding body language.
• [8:33] What you can do if you don’t want a bad experience to ruin the rest of your day. 
• [14:34] How you can communicate your vision as a leader so others buy into it by using stories and storytelling.
• [19:07] Why you shouldn’t wait to be ready before moving into leadership or starting your own business.
• [25:00] One of the best tips to be more productive - Instead of wanting things to be 100%, focus on the change and progress you’re making, and that will motivate you to get things done.

Dive into the episode and enjoy this wonderfully insightful conversation.

If you found my conversation with Sheetal helpful, subscribe to Communicate to Lead, so you don’t miss any upcoming episodes and share them with anyone you think will benefit from the podcast.

You can also find the show notes at:

https://thetailoredapproach.com/ctl-podcast/