In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with Dr Lillian Ward from the Contemplative Studies Centre at the University of Melbourne about what “progress” in meditation really looks like beyond beginner programs — including the positive changes people hope for and the genuine challenges that can arise along the way.

Meditation is often promoted for its benefits, such as improved wellbeing, emotional regulation, and greater self-awareness. But what actually happens as people continue meditating over months and years? How do experienced meditation teachers recognise when practice is going well — and when it might not be?

Lillian describes her Delphi study with experienced meditation teachers from both secular mindfulness programs (MBSR, MBCT, MiCBT) and Buddhist traditions including Theravada and Zen. Using a multi-round consultation process, the study draws on the expertise of teachers to better understand the many psychological, emotional, and relational changes that can emerge through meditation practice.

Teachers in the study identified 97 meaningful changes they use to assess how their students are progressing. These include positive developments such as greater emotional awareness, openness, and self-compassion, but also potential difficulties such as relationship strain, increased rumination, neglecting responsibilities, or experiences that can interfere with everyday functioning.

Lillian also explains a pathway model of meditation progress, where ongoing practice builds attentional skills and introspection. These can open the door to both growth and difficulty depending on how the experiences that arise are understood and responded to.

Towards the end of our conversation, Lillian introduces a major new research project called Tracking Meditation: A Longitudinal Study, which is currently recruiting meditation practitioners. This two-year study aims to follow newer meditators over time to better understand how meditation practice develops and how it affects wellbeing in everyday life.

If you’re interested in mindfulness, meditation research, contemplative science, or the psychology of meditation practice, I hope you enjoy the conversation.

Timestamps:

00:00 Meditation Journey Intro

02:16 Why Progress Matters

04:07 Delphi Study Explained

06:01 Study Design Breakdown

09:08 Key Changes Teachers See

12:09 Self-Compassion and Relationships

16:33 Pathways Model of Progress

22:32 Traditions and Measuring Change

26:13 When Practice Goes Wrong

30:53 Managing Adverse Experiences

36:02 Tracking Meditation Longitudinal Study

40:29 Recruiting and Closing Thanks

Links:

Tracking Meditation: A Longitudinal Study

https://psychologicalsciences.unimelb.edu.au/CSC/research/research-studies/tracking-meditation-a-longitudinal-study

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/X59owqIZBZo

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Hashtags:

mindfulness, meditation, contemplativescience, meditationresearch, selfcompassion, mentalhealth

Compassion in healthcare is more than a value statement — it is a clinical skill, a leadership stance, and a systemic responsibility. In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with psychiatrist Caragh Behan (Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland) and Professor Brendan Kelly (Trinity College Dublin) about burnout, moral injury, empathy fatigue, and how to make compassion real in modern evidence-based healthcare systems.

Together, Caragh and Brendan have written the Handbook of Compassion in Healthcare, a practical and research-informed guide that explores compassion from neuroscience to self-compassion, resilience, and compassionate leadership. The book is available to purchase in hard copy — and importantly, it is also available open access, reflecting their belief that compassion should be accessible to all.

In this conversation, we explore:

• The pressures of evidence-based medicine, service targets, and performance metrics

• A powerful pandemic-era story of a suicidal young man who felt unseen at his most vulnerable

• The quiet presence of fear in clinical work — fear of mistakes, complaints, and uncertainty

• Why compassion is best understood as awareness of suffering plus the motivation to act

• The crucial differences between empathy, sympathy, pity, and what they call “horrified anxiety”

• Why “compassion fatigue” may be more accurately described as empathy fatigue

• Moral injury and what happens when clinicians are forced to act against their core values

• Self-compassion as the foundation for sustainable, courageous care

• Practical strategies — pausing, grounding, touch, intention-setting, and deep listening

• How to build compassionate health systems, not just compassionate individuals

This conversation moves from the inner world of the clinician to the wider organisational and systemic context of healthcare. We discuss how compassion can be cultivated, trained, and protected — even in overstretched environments — and why always and everywhere, compassion matters.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Guests

02:30 Why Compassion Now

03:04 System Pressures and Stories

06:40 Compassion Across Specialties

08:28 Fear and Clinical Uncertainty

11:03 Defining Compassion

11:50 Empathy Sympathy and Pity

15:01 Compassion Fatigue Reframed

18:28 Courage and Patient Autonomy

23:51 Can Compassion Be Taught

25:09 Book and Open Access

25:56 Moral Injury Explained

28:18 Self Compassion Basics

30:22 System Pressures vs Self Care

32:46 Two Strands of Change

37:04 Compassionate Intention

39:29 Can Compassion Be Trained

44:28 One Small Practice Tomorrow

49:00 Always Compassion Matters

51:45 Closing Thanks and Links

If you work in healthcare, mental health, leadership, or any caring profession — this episode will resonate deeply.

Links:

Handbook of Compassion in Healthcare (Behan and Kelly, 2025)

https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/handbook-of-compassion-in-healthcare/4B98BECD58FAA99F62F8C4B0BB39663D

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/oo8AVwVSTk4

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

compassion in healthcare, healthcare burnout, moral injury, self compassion, compassionate leadership, empathy fatigue

What if burnout isn’t a personal failure — but a cultural signal?

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with Natalia Sarro, an Argentinian psychologist based in Barcelona, Compassion Focused Therapy practitioner, and the first certified Spanish-speaking instructor with the Center for Compassionate Leadership.

Natalia shares how her own identity became deeply tied to performance — and how that journey led her to support leaders navigating burnout, chronic stress, perfectionism and self-criticism. Together, we explore workplaces as “emotional laboratories,” where belonging, worth and power are constantly being negotiated.

We discuss psychological safety and why high-performing teams are built not on fear, but on environments where people feel safe to speak up, disagree, admit mistakes and ask for help. Natalia explains the powerful distinction between leading with compassion and leading for compassion — shaping systems that reduce burnout and exclusion.

We also explore gender socialisation, fierce self-compassion, internalised self-criticism, and how women leaders can reclaim grounded authority and voice without losing warmth or strength.

Finally, Natalia introduces her idea of “cathedral thinking” — leadership as long-arc culture building that may outlast us.

This is a rich and reflective conversation about burnout, identity, leadership, and building compassionate workplaces that sustain people rather than exhaust them.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro

02:03 Natalia’s Work Journey

05:08 Identity Performance Burnout

05:59 Women Burnout and Bias

08:07 Vision for Compassionate Work

11:14 Psychological Safety Explained

14:21 Leading With and For

16:52 Spanish Cultural Translation

21:10 Compassion Misconceptions at Work

24:25 Fierce Self Compassion for Women

30:42 Gendered Double Standards

38:39 Vulnerability and Inner Critic

44:46 Self Compassion Shapes Culture

47:23 Cathedral Thinking Closing

47:51 Final Thanks and Farewell

Links:

Natalia’s website:

https://nataliasarro.com/

Natalia’s Instagram page:

https://www.instagram.com/nataliasarro/

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/v1i1pWcE9JM

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

compassionate leadership, workplace wellbeing, burnout recovery, psychological safety, self compassion, women in leadership

Menopause is one of the most significant transitions in a woman’s life — and yet it’s often ignored, misunderstood, or reduced to stereotypes about hormones and hot flushes. But menopause is not just biological. It’s psychological. It affects sleep, mood, identity, relationships, work, and wellbeing.

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I speak with Dr Lydia Brown, Senior Lecturer in Psychological Sciences at the University of Melbourne and a leading researcher on self-compassion and menopause.

Dr Brown explains what menopause actually is (including perimenopause and timing), why research historically lagged, and how the Women’s Health Initiative reshaped conversations around hormone replacement therapy (HRT). We explore how menopause intersects with midlife pressures — caregiving, career demands, grief, identity shifts — and how self-compassion can act as a powerful buffer.

Drawing on data from over 500 Australian women, Lydia shares research showing that self-compassion can reduce the burden of hot flushes, protect against depression, support treatment adherence, and predict wellbeing — sometimes more strongly than symptom severity itself.

We also discuss:

• Why women often struggle with self-compassion

• The myth that self-compassion is selfish

• How menopause shows up in the workplace

• Brain fog and what the research really says

• Organisational policy (including menopause leave)

• Positive ageing and the “paradox of ageing”

• Practical tools — including the simple question: “What do I need right now?”

Whether you’re experiencing menopause, supporting someone who is, or simply interested in resilience and healthy ageing, this conversation offers grounded, evidence-based insight.

Timestamps:

00:00 Menopause Is More Than Hot Flushes: Why This Transition Matters

00:23 Meet Dr Lydia Brown + What We’ll Cover

02:01 Menopause 101: What It Is, Perimenopause, Timing & Symptom Range

04:55 Why the Science Lagged: Women Excluded, Complexity & Variability

06:21 HRT’s Rise, the WHI Shockwave, and Where the Evidence Sits Now

08:50 Beyond Hormones: Identity Shifts & Midlife Pressures

13:05 Why Self-Compassion? Lydia’s Personal Path

17:34 Blocks to Self-Compassion: Socialisation & Self-Criticism

24:15 Support Systems First: Doctors, Therapy & Community

27:03 Self-Compassion as a Buffer for Hot Flushes

29:38 Why Self-Compassion Predicts Wellbeing

33:32 Self-Compassion and CBT: Mechanisms Explained

37:55 Menopause at Work: Brain Fog & Career Impact

46:21 Positive Ageing & the Paradox of Growing Older

50:26 Practical Takeaways: “What Do I Need Right Now?”

55:20 Closing Reflections

Links:

For Dr Brown’s contact, research papers and media work, go to her website at The University of Melbourne:

https://findanexpert.unimelb.edu.au/profile/21045-lydia-brown

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/m4_AwOcXNLk

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

self-compassion, menopause support, perimenopause, healthy aging, women’s mental health, workplace wellbeing, resilience psychology, hormone therapy, midlife transition

Have you ever worked in a team where something went wrong — and you could feel the difference between blame and support?

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl speaks with Professor Helena Nguyen about workplace compassion as a team- and organisation-level capability, not just an individual trait.

Interest in compassion at work has grown rapidly — driven by burnout, faster and leaner workplaces, the impact of COVID-19, and the rise of AI prompting questions about what remains uniquely human at work. Helena explains why focusing only on individual compassion can create blame and unsustainable expectations, especially in high-pressure environments like healthcare.

We explore:

. Why workload weakens the impact of compassionate care

. What team compassion actually looks like in day-to-day work

. How team mindfulness enables shared awareness and coordinated support

. The role of shared mental models (think “soccer team” sync under pressure)

. Why compassion improves psychological safety, speaking up, learning, and patient safety

. Research linking compassionate care to better treatment outcomes and even mortality rates

. The hidden cost of “just be compassionate” cultures — burnout and workforce loss

. Organisational barriers: mindset, culture, systems, incentives, and leadership

. Practical starting points: self-compassion, mindfulness, emotional intelligence, difficult conversations, and circles of control

. We also discuss the future of compassion research — moving beyond heroic individual narratives toward team compassion and compassionate organising, and normalising vulnerability, grief, and suffering in professional life.

. Compassion isn’t a “nice to have.” It’s a strategic necessity — good for people, teams, and performance.

This conversation draws on the recent special issue on compassion in organisations in the Australian Journal of Management. The link to the special issue is in the description below.

Timestamps

00:00 Compassion at Work: Why Teams Matter

01:58 Burnout, COVID & the New Work Reality

04:03 AI & the Future of Human Skills

07:21 The Risks of Blaming Individuals

10:23 Self-Compassion at Work

12:16 What Team Compassion Looks Like

15:24 Team Mindfulness & Shared Awareness

22:24 When Competition Kills Compassion

23:42 Compassion, Performance & Patient Safety

29:22 The Hidden Cost of “Just Be Compassionate”

32:46 Organisational Barriers to Compassion

38:02 Practical Starting Points

46:37 The Future: Team Compassion & Compassionate Organising

48:57 Vulnerability, Grief & Humanity at Work

Links:

For the Special Issue in the Australian Journal of Management got here:

https://journals.sagepub.com/toc/auma/50/3?_gl=1*1yyxzqx*_up*MQ..*_ga*NjY2MDQ2ODg0LjE3NzEyMjA3NjU.*_ga_60R758KFDG*czE3NzEyMjg1MjQkbzIkZzAkdDE3NzEyMjg1MjQkajYwJGwwJGgxMzczNTQ3Njgx

For more about Professor Helena Nguyen go here:

https://profiles.sydney.edu.au/helena.nguyen

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/eyKJZewU2yw

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

workplace compassion, team compassion, psychological safety, compassionate leadership, patient safety, organisational culture

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by Margaret Cullen, a licensed psychotherapist and one of the true pioneers of bringing mindfulness and compassion into mainstream psychology, healthcare, and community settings.

Margaret was among the first teachers certified in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, has taught internationally for decades, and spent over 30 years supporting people living with cancer and their loved ones. She co-developed Compassion Cultivation Training at Stanford, founded Compassion Corps to bring compassion programs to underserved communities, and has helped shape how contemplative practices are taught across the world.

Our conversation centres on Margaret’s beautiful new book, Quiet Strength, which explores equanimity not as detachment, numbness, or emotional suppression, but as a steady, wise presence that allows us to stay open, engaged, and human — without being hijacked by reactivity.

We explore what equanimity really is (and what it isn’t), how it shows up in the body and nervous system, how it supports compassion without overwhelm or pity, and why “broken-hearted equanimity” may be one of the most important capacities for living in uncertain, polarised, and painful times.

This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation about calm strength, embodiment, and how we can meet life as it actually is.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome to Compassion in a T-Shirt

00:13 Introducing Margaret Cullen and her work

01:04 What is equanimity? Introducing Quiet Strength

03:50 Common misunderstandings about equanimity

05:32 Equanimity, emotional balance, and recovery

09:32 Mindfulness and equanimity: how they overlap

22:21 Margaret’s early journey with MBSR

25:23 The body and nervous system in equanimity

28:27 Bottom-up equanimity and embodied practice

31:37 Interrupting rumination and hyperarousal

34:34 Fears, blocks, and resistance to equanimity

37:03 Equanimity in relationships and real life

40:01 Nonviolent resistance and quiet strength

45:51 Broken-hearted equanimity

47:44 Equanimity as a support for compassion

52:31 Clinical and therapeutic applications

54:06 Closing reflections

Links:

Margaret Cullen’s website with links to the book, training, and other resources

https://margaretcullen.com/

More on Quiet Strength from the publishers:

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/quiet-strength-margaret-cullen?variant=43897021300770

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/ggNPCYd7awQ

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

equanimity, compassion, mindfulness, emotionalresilience, contemplativepsychology, quietstrength

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by Douglas Smith, Professor of Social Work at the University of Illinois at Urbana–Champaign, Director of the Center for Prevention Research and Development, and a long-standing member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers.

Doug and I explore his 2025 book Motivational Interviewing with Families, which re-imagines how Motivational Interviewing (MI) can be applied when working with couples, parents and children, and wider family systems. Rather than treating MI as something done with one person while others observe, Doug invites us to think systemically, relationally, and compassionately about how change unfolds across conversations with families.

We discuss how MI spirit shows up in family work, why reflective listening is the engine of MI, and Doug’s bold re-ordering of the core skills into ROARS (Reflections, Open questions, Affirmations, Reflective Summaries). We also unpack key innovations from the book, including family-level change talk, family-level equipoise, motivational send-offs, and the risks of the “superfluous engagement trap.”

This conversation will be especially valuable for psychologists, social workers, counsellors, and health practitioners who use MI and want to deepen their work with families, as well as anyone interested in compassion-focused, evidence-based approaches to change.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Compassion in a T-Shirt

00:13 Meet Professor Doug Smith

00:32 Doug’s clinical and research background

01:12 Why Motivational Interviewing with families

01:49 What counts as “family work”?

03:40 Why MI becomes more complex in family systems

07:09 What MI with families actually looks like in practice

18:13 Why reflections matter most in MI

18:22 ROARS and re-ordering MI core skills

21:27 Family-level reflections

25:02 Navigating complexity in family systems

28:17 Teaching and training MI

30:45 Reflections as the engine of MI

33:00 Autonomy and differing family goals

34:07 Challenges in family counselling

38:30 Family-level equipoise

42:25 Change talk in family contexts

47:26 Engaging reluctant family members

49:55 Balancing engagement and planning

01:00:52 Motivational send-offs and ending well

01:04:06 The future of MI with families

Links:

Motivational Interviewing with Families by Douglas C. Smith (2025)

https://www.guilford.com/books/Motivational-Interviewing-with-Families/Douglas-Smith/9781462557615

Professor Doug Smith website with academic references

https://socialwork.illinois.edu/directory/profile/smithdc/

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/YZ0Rp_EkIdA

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

MotivationalInterviewing, FamilyTherapy, CompassionInPractice, ChangeTalk, MITraining, FamilySystems

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by psychologists, writers, and podcasters Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry, the voices behind the podcast Life’s Little Secrets.

Emma and Chris and I talk about how they first met and began working together, what drew them into collaboration, and how a shared curiosity about the inner lives of humans led to the creation of Life’s Little Secrets. We explore the cost of hiding our thoughts and feelings, the relief that can come from being heard, and the role compassion plays in helping us live with vulnerability rather than shame.

We also spend time talking about their work writing for children and families, including their ACT-based workbooks and story-driven books that help young people (and their parents) make sense of big emotions like anxiety, sadness, frustration, and disappointment. Throughout the conversation, Emma and Chris share wisdom drawn from therapy, writing, podcasting, and life — thoughtful, grounded, and deeply human.

This is a wide-ranging, reflective conversation about common humanity, emotional courage, and what can change when we feel understood rather than judged.

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction and welcome

01:46 How Emma and Chris first met and began working together

06:26 The privilege of psychological work and seeing our shared humanity

11:58 Why Life’s Little Secrets — and what we hide

19:15 The psychological cost of keeping things hidden

29:35 The power of being heard and meeting vulnerability with compassion

30:52 Introducing the ACT workbook series for children

31:57 Story-driven approaches to anxiety, sadness, and frustration

35:04 Big Issues for Little People: helping families navigate tough questions

39:31 Story, illustration, and empathy

40:31 Disappointment, big feelings, and making room for what is

42:07 Learning, growth, and being a lifelong student of humanity

45:37 Developing a compassionate relationship with ourselves

51:14 Final reflections and words of wisdom

Links:

For Dr Waddington’s contact, books, resources and trainings, go to her website:

https://www.dremmawaddington.com/

For Dr McCurry’s contact, books, resources and trainings, go to his website:

https://chrismccurrychildpsychologist.com/

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/CWmvqb0KpDw

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

compassion, selfcompassion, mentalhealth, psychology, humansbeinghuman, lifessecrets

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by Rob Brockman, clinical psychologist, Schema Therapy practitioner, supervisor, and trainer.

This is not a beginner’s introduction to Schema Therapy. Instead, Rob and I take a deeper, more nuanced look at how Schema Therapy understands the mind through modes — the vulnerable, angry, detached, critical, and healthy states we move in and out of — and why differentiating these experiences matters clinically.

Rob unpacks how modes show up in the therapy room through behaviour, thoughts, felt sense, and motivation, and why understanding the function of anger, anxiety, and coping is so central to effective work. We explore how anger can take very different forms across modes — from unmet needs, to self-criticism, to protection, dominance, or complaint — and why working only with coping modes can inadvertently keep clients stuck.

A key theme throughout our conversation is the importance of getting beneath coping and protection to make contact with vulnerability, pain, and unmet needs — and how attunement, empathic confrontation, and limited reparenting help make that possible. Rob also reflects on the Healthy Adult mode, its role in regulating emotion, meeting needs, and setting limits, and where compassion naturally fits within this framework.

We then turn to integration. Drawing on his work in Contextual Schema Therapy, Rob shares how compassion-focused ideas and practices can be thoughtfully integrated into Schema Therapy — not as a separate model, but as skills that help strengthen the Healthy Adult and support healing from shame, guilt, and self-criticism.

If you’re a clinician curious about Schema Therapy, a therapist working with parts, modes, or multiplicity, or simply interested in how compassion can be embodied in deep, relational therapeutic work, I think you’ll really enjoy this one.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:39 Understanding Schema Therapy Modes

04:15 Modes in Practice: Recognizing and Working with Modes

12:18 Exploring Anger in Schema Therapy

22:52 Practical Applications and Challenges

32:49 Understanding the Root of Anger

33:33 Analyzing TV Show 'Run' for Psychological Insights

36:27 Exploring Personal Triggers and Emotional Responses

42:30 The Role of Healthy Adult Mode in Behavior Regulation

47:57 Integrating Compassion in Schema Therapy

57:17 Upcoming Trainings and Resources

Links:

Firstly that (Exhaustive) Mode Paper: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.763670/full

Live Schema Therapy Training Australia, New Zealand, and Bali: https://schematherapytraining.com/

Online Schema Therapy Training Platform: https://www.schematherapytrainingonline.com/

Schema Therapy Solution Course for Everyday Living: https://www.schematherapysolution.com/

Free What's the Schemata Podcast with Chris Hayes & Rob Brockman: https://schematherapytraining.com/podcast-whats-the-schemata

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/bz8llMn85xM

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

schematherapy, schema modes, vulnerablechild, healthyadult, compassion, selfcompassion

In this returning conversation on Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m delighted to welcome back Dr Hayley D Quinn for a thoughtful and very grounded exploration of self-neglect, burnout, and what it really means to live with compassion.

Hayley is a former clinical psychologist, wellbeing coach, author, and host of the Welcome to Self® podcast. She’s also the past president of Compassionate Mind Australia, and her work sits at the heart of compassion science translated into everyday life.

We centre the conversation around Hayley’s upcoming book, From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion: A Compassionate Guide to Creating a Thriving Life (released 5 February 2026). Together, we unpack what self-neglect actually looks like in day-to-day life, why so many high-achieving and people-pleasing individuals fall into it, and how it quietly erodes wellbeing, relationships, and vitality over time.

We explore the three circles model, self-criticism, boundaries, values, sleep, and the micro-moments where compassionate action really counts. Hayley also shares openly about the personal journey of writing the book, and what it was like to live the very principles she was putting on the page.

This episode is for anyone who feels stretched, depleted, or stuck in patterns of putting themselves last — and who wants a kinder, more sustainable way forward.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:37 Discussing the New Book: From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion

02:00 Understanding Self-Neglect

02:34 Micro Moments of Self-Neglect

04:15 Impact of Self-Neglect on Relationships and Wellbeing

05:33 Burnout Prevention and Compassionate Action

06:56 Exploring the Three Circles Model

11:03 Self-Criticism and Its Origins

13:44 Getting to Know Yourself: Practical Steps

20:39 Reconnecting with Values and Hopes

26:24 The Challenge of Setting Boundaries

28:51 Navigating Relationship Boundaries

29:45 Building Self-Trust Through Boundaries

30:36 The Importance of Sleep and Self-Care

35:08 Compassion and Making Lasting Changes

40:27 Writing the Book: From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion

48:16 Practical Steps for Self-Compassion

52:45 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Links:

From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion: A compassionate guide to creating a thriving life.

https://drhayleydquinn.com/product/book/

AVAILABLE NOW FOR PRE-ORDER

Publishing 6 February 2026

Hayley’s website: https://drhayleydquinn.com/

Follow Hayley on Instagram: @drhayleydquinn

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/7Ju0I5AIaEo

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

selfcompassion, burnoutprevention, compassionfocusedtherapy, wellbeing, boundaries, mentalhealth, women, genderdiversity