Compassion in a T-Shirt

In this returning conversation on Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m delighted to welcome back Dr Hayley D Quinn for a thoughtful and very grounded exploration of self-neglect, burnout, and what it really means to live with compassion.

Hayley is a former clinical psychologist, wellbeing coach, author, and host of the Welcome to Self® podcast. She’s also the past president of Compassionate Mind Australia, and her work sits at the heart of compassion science translated into everyday life.

We centre the conversation around Hayley’s upcoming book, From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion: A Compassionate Guide to Creating a Thriving Life (released 5 February 2026). Together, we unpack what self-neglect actually looks like in day-to-day life, why so many high-achieving and people-pleasing individuals fall into it, and how it quietly erodes wellbeing, relationships, and vitality over time.

We explore the three circles model, self-criticism, boundaries, values, sleep, and the micro-moments where compassionate action really counts. Hayley also shares openly about the personal journey of writing the book, and what it was like to live the very principles she was putting on the page.

This episode is for anyone who feels stretched, depleted, or stuck in patterns of putting themselves last — and who wants a kinder, more sustainable way forward.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:37 Discussing the New Book: From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion

02:00 Understanding Self-Neglect

02:34 Micro Moments of Self-Neglect

04:15 Impact of Self-Neglect on Relationships and Wellbeing

05:33 Burnout Prevention and Compassionate Action

06:56 Exploring the Three Circles Model

11:03 Self-Criticism and Its Origins

13:44 Getting to Know Yourself: Practical Steps

20:39 Reconnecting with Values and Hopes

26:24 The Challenge of Setting Boundaries

28:51 Navigating Relationship Boundaries

29:45 Building Self-Trust Through Boundaries

30:36 The Importance of Sleep and Self-Care

35:08 Compassion and Making Lasting Changes

40:27 Writing the Book: From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion

48:16 Practical Steps for Self-Compassion

52:45 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Links:

From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion: A compassionate guide to creating a thriving life.

https://drhayleydquinn.com/product/book/

AVAILABLE NOW FOR PRE-ORDER

Publishing 6 February 2026

Hayley’s website: https://drhayleydquinn.com/

Follow Hayley on Instagram: @drhayleydquinn

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/7Ju0I5AIaEo

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

selfcompassion, burnoutprevention, compassionfocusedtherapy, wellbeing, boundaries, mentalhealth, women, genderdiversity

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by Professor Ross G. White — clinical psychologist, researcher, and author of The Tree That Bends: How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive. Together, we explore what it really means to live well in high-pressure, high-performance cultures, and why psychological flexibility may be one of the most important skills for thriving rather than burning out.

Ross and I begin by unpacking the hidden costs of high achievement — including perfectionism, relentless striving, and shame-based self-criticism — alongside the genuine rewards that keep us pushing forward. From there, we explore how psychological flexibility helps us hold strong intentions without becoming rigidly attached to outcomes, allowing us to pursue meaningful goals while protecting our wellbeing.

We then dive into the core framework of The Tree That Bends, using the metaphor of a tree to bring psychological flexibility to life. Ross explains the three key elements — being Anchored, Willing, and Empowered — and how values, mindfulness, and willingness to meet difficult thoughts and emotions can guide us towards more workable, compassionate ways of living.

Later in the conversation, we explore the Get–Threat–Reset modes, drawing parallels with compassion science and the realities of modern life. Ross shares practical ways to cultivate reset — through compassion, gratitude, wonder, and courageous life choices — and why reset is essential for long-term flourishing.

We finish by turning our attention to men, masculinity, self-compassion, and psychological flexibility. Ross speaks powerfully about the cultural pressures men face around performance and emotional restraint, and how self-compassion can be reframed not as weakness, but as strength turned inward — a vital resource for living fuller, kinder, and more connected lives.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Psychological Flexibility

00:37 Meet Professor Ross G. White

01:14 High Achievement and Its Hidden Costs

03:41 Perfectionism, Shame, and Burnout

08:06 What Is Psychological Flexibility?

08:59 Strong Intention, Light Attachment

19:23 The Tree That Bends Metaphor

20:48 Anchored, Willing, Empowered

25:31 Discovering Personal Values

28:34 Values, Roles, and Context

29:21 Emotional Distress and What It Points To

30:36 Practical Ways to Identify Values

31:30 Willingness and Meeting Discomfort

32:07 The Media Outlet Analogy

33:21 The Roving Reporter Exercise

36:42 Empowerment, Purpose, and Action

43:49 Reset Mode and the Tree Metaphor

48:10 Men, Masculinity, and Self-Compassion

53:02 Where to Find Ross and Final Reflections

Links:

The Tree That Bends: How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive

https://www.amazon.com.au/Tree-That-Bends-Flexible-Thrive/dp/1529430003

Ross’s website: https://www.rossgwhite.com/

Follow Ross on Instagram and LinkedIn: @rossgwhite

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/x3eShGyfPUE

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

psychologicalflexibility, selfcompassion, mentalhealth, compassionfocusedtherapy, wellbeing, resilience

In the final guest interview of 2025, I’m joined by someone whose work has profoundly shaped the way we think about compassion, connection, and healing in groups: Dr Derek Griner, Clinical Professor and Associate Training Director in Counseling Psychology at Brigham Young University.

Derek is one of the leading voices in developing Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) for groups, co-authoring the CFT Participant Workbook and Clinician Guide, contributing major research and book chapters, and recently developing a new process-oriented CFT group approach alongside Professor Paul Gilbert during his sabbatical in the UK.

In this conversation, Derek and I explore the heart of compassion-focused group psychotherapy — where connection, courage, curiosity, and vulnerability become powerful agents of change. We talk about why groups offer something unique that individual therapy can’t, how the “three flows” of compassion come alive between people, and what it looks like when a facilitator stays flexible enough to follow the “oasis moments” that emerge in real time.

Derek shares rich examples from his clinical work, including a moving story about misnaming a group member and how that moment — full of embarrassment, apology, courage, and compassion — became a profound teaching point for the whole group. We also dive into cultural adaptation, therapist characteristics, compassionate composure, and the future of CFT groups across cultures and contexts.

It’s a beautiful, thoughtful, and fitting way to close out the year. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction and Year in Review

00:52 Introducing Dr. Derek Griner

03:09 Dr. Griner's Journey into Group Therapy

06:25 The Power of Connection in Group Therapy

08:08 Compassion Focused Therapy in Groups

11:44 The Role of Flexibility in Group Therapy

18:52 Challenges and Opportunities in Group Therapy

24:30 Real-Life Examples and Insights

27:48 Exploring CFT Principles in Real-Life Scenarios

28:58 The Power of Apology and Forgiveness in Therapy

31:05 Therapist Vulnerability and Authentic Connection

34:19 The Role of Therapist Characteristics

39:12 Recognizing Compassionate Connection in Groups

45:19 Cultural Adaptation in CFT

52:42 The Future of Compassion Focused Therapy for Groups

56:26 Final Thoughts and Gratitude

Links:

For Dr Griner’s contact, books, resources and trainings, go to his page on the BYU website:

https://caps.byu.edu/directory/derek-griner 

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ 

Say hi on social: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl 

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ 

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ 

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/1OhQtpgrZZU 

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! 

Video hashtags:

compassionfocusedtherapy, grouptherapy, compassioninatshirt, mentalhealth, psychotherapy, cftgroups

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I’m joined by someone whose work I’ve admired from afar for a very long time – Dr Robyn D. Walser.

Robyn is a clinical psychologist, Assistant Clinical Professor at the University of California, Berkeley, Director of Research at Bay Area Trauma Recovery Clinical Services, and on staff at the National Center for PTSD at the VA Palo Alto Health Care System. She is internationally recognised for her work in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), trauma, moral injury, and values-based living, and is co-author of influential ACT texts such as Learning ACT and The Heart of ACT.

In our conversation we explore her powerful new book, You Are Not Your Trauma, co-authored with Darrah Westrup. We talk about the core message behind the title – that we are much more than the worst things that have happened to us – and how ACT helps people relate differently to painful memories, emotions, and self-stories.

Robyn walks us through the three stages of healing outlined in the book:

. building safety, grounding, and skills,

. turning toward traumatic experiences using exposure-based processes in an ACT-consistent way, and

. reconnecting with values, meaning, and joy to build a life worth living.

We also explore how self-compassion and the therapist’s compassionate presence can gently soften shame and self-blame, especially in complex trauma.

Later in the episode, Robyn reflects on her decades of work with women who have experienced violence, oppression, and systemic disadvantage, including women veterans. We then turn to her new training, Women Rising, which focuses on understanding women’s suffering through a systemic lens, supporting agency and courage, and helping women separate societal expectations from their own deeply held values.

It was an honour to sit with Robyn and hear her wisdom, courage, and humanity in the face of profound suffering. I hope this conversation offers you validation, hope, and some practical ways of thinking about healing from trauma and moving toward a more meaningful life.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Robin Walzer

01:04 Discussing 'You Are Not Your Trauma'

02:12 Understanding Trauma and Identity

04:13 The Role of Language and Experience

07:44 Psychological Flexibility and Identity

11:28 Stages of Healing in Trauma

12:05 Building Safety and Grounding

24:42 The Importance of Compassion in Therapy

30:01 Understanding Self-Compassion in Trauma

30:52 Defining Suffering and Avoidance

33:41 Exposure Therapy and Habituation

37:04 Addressing Self-Blame and Shame

41:39 Stage Three: Flourishing and Finding Meaning

45:42 Empowering Women and Addressing Violence

51:59 Concluding Thoughts and Future Work

Links:

For Dr Wasler’s contact, books, resources and trainings, go to her website: https://robynwalser.com/

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here:

https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/

Say hi on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/2HLhmSPytB8

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

Video hashtags:

compassioninatshirt, traumahealing, acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy, selfcompassion, womensmentalhealth, psychologytalk

Have you ever felt torn between a part of you that wants to change and a part that absolutely doesn’t? Or felt “held hostage” by a critical inner voice telling you what you should be doing? In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with my dear friend and motivational interviewing trainer, Patrick Berthiaume, to explore ambivalence, discord, and how compassion can transform both our relationships and our inner lives.

Patrick is a French Canadian from Montreal with a background in sexology, who spent years working at the coalface of human suffering – alongside people experiencing homelessness, addictions, and involvement in sex work. Those years taught him about humility, vulnerability, dignity, and what it really means to offer a genuinely helpful, non-judgemental conversation.

Together we explore:

• Why people often expect to be judged and controlled when they ask for help
• The MI idea of discord in the client–clinician relationship, and how pushing for change can trigger resistance
• Ambivalence as a normal part of being human – and why the first ambivalence is often, “Do I even dare to talk about this?”
• How internal discord shows up as different “parts” arguing with each other – including the harsh, self-critical part that wants us to “do better”
• The role of empathy, autonomy support, humility and vulnerability in creating a safe space for real change
• How compassion helps us slow down, honour the intention behind even unhelpful behaviours, and soften the inner battles we fight with ourselves

Patrick also reflects on his own journey from a wide-eyed country boy arriving in Montreal, to walking side by side with people who are often stigmatised as “the worst of society”, and how those relationships became his greatest teachers of compassion.

If you’re interested in motivational interviewing, Compassion Focused Therapy, addictions, or simply understanding your own mixed feelings and self-criticism a little more kindly, I think you’ll find this a rich and very human conversation.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Patrick Berthiaume

01:32 Patrick's Early Work and Lessons Learned

12:45 Understanding Ambivalence and Empathy

20:01 The Role of Vulnerability and Humility

33:42 Compassion in Practice

46:50 Internal Ambivalence and Self-Compassion

01:06:38 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Links:

Patrick Berthiaume's website:

https://perspectivehumaine.com/

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ 

Say hi on social: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl 

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ 

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ 

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/1ylVc5uuI5I

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! 

Video hashtags:

compassioninatshirt, motivationalinterviewing, compassionfocusedtherapy, ambivalence, selfcompassion, addictions

Join me on Compassion in a T-Shirt as I sit down with clinical psychologist, author, and CFT pioneer Dr Mary Welford for a rich and surprising conversation about self-criticism — what it is, why we do it, and the unexpected functions it serves.

Mary reflects on her early journey into Compassion Focused Therapy, including the profound influence of Professor Paul Gilbert’s work on shame and self-criticism, and her experiences during the formative years of the Compassionate Mind Foundation. We explore the challenges she faced in clinical practice, the breakthroughs that shaped her approach, and how CFT evolved into what it is today.

In this episode, Mary also shares practical, compassionate ways to work with the inner critic, insights from working with diverse populations — from young people to elite athletes — and the small, grounded practices that sustain her in daily life. Whether you're a therapist, a student, or simply someone trying to soften the harshness within, this conversation offers warmth, wisdom, and plenty to take away.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Self-Criticism

00:26 Meet Dr Mary Welford

01:42 Early Encounters with CFT

02:27 Challenges in Clinical Practice

06:13 Discovering Compassion-Focused Therapy

09:23 The Impact of CFT on Clinical Work

21:00 Personal Reflections on Self-Criticism

29:29 The Role of Compassion in Therapy

35:06 Exploring Self-Criticism and Shame

35:32 Personal Reflections on Shame and Social Performance

38:28 Changing Relationship with Self-Criticism

40:05 Working with Elite Athletes

42:58 Coaching and Self-Criticism in Sports

45:36 Psychological Flexibility and Self-Compassion

53:34 Personal Practices for Compassion

01:03:37 Future Projects and Personal Balance

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ 

Say hi on social: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl 

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ 

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ 

YouTube Video URL: [link] 

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! 

Video hashtags:

compassionfocusedtherapy, selfcriticism, compassiontraining, marywelford, psychologytalks, compassioninatshirt

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with Sydney-based psychotherapist Megan Buys to explore the rich and evolving world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Megan recently published a landmark paper, Exploring the Evidence for Internal Family Systems Therapy: A Scoping Review of Current Research, Gaps, and Future Directions, in Clinical Psychologist—the first comprehensive synthesis of the IFS evidence base.

We talk about what drew her to IFS, the model’s theoretical foundations, and the central role of compassion and the “Self” in helping clients understand, relate to, and heal their internal systems. Megan also shares insights from her research on using IFS for premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), the importance of rigorous research for wider clinical acceptance, and why IFS continues to resonate with so many people seeking deeper, kinder ways of understanding themselves.

Whether you’re a therapist, a student, or simply curious about personal growth and emotional wellbeing, this conversation offers a thoughtful and accessible look at one of today’s most influential therapeutic models.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Compassion in a T-Shirt

00:32 Meet Megan Buys: Exploring Internal Family Systems

01:39 Megan's Journey with IFS

05:15 The Role of Self and Compassion in IFS

07:00 Megan's Professional Path and IFS Integration

12:54 Challenges and Acceptance of IFS in Therapy

18:52 Understanding Internal Family Systems Theory

21:37 Practical Examples of IFS in Action

25:06 Creative Processes in IFS Therapy

29:12 Exploring Vulnerability and Exhaustion

29:34 Art Therapy and Imagery in Therapy

30:16 Creating a Safe Space for Parts

33:23 The Role of Self in Therapy

37:31 Cultivating Compassion and Self-Awareness

48:14 The Importance of Research in IFS

52:26 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Links:

Exploring the evidence for Internal Family Systems therapy: a scoping review of current research, gaps, and future directions (Buys, 2025)

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13284207.2025.2533127 

No Bad Parts (Schwartz, 2024)

https://www.amazon.com.au/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1785045113/ 

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ 

Say hi on social: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl 

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ 

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ 

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/79xo3djhcSk 

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! 

Video hashtags:

ifs therapy, internal family systems, compassion in a t shirt, psychotherapy australia, self compassion, mental health conversations

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with Michelle Becker, a licensed marriage and family therapist, international teacher, and co-founder of the Wise Compassion Program. Michelle shares her remarkable journey from certified public accountant to compassion-focused therapist, and how that path led her to create the groundbreaking Compassion for Couples program.

We explore how compassion can transform relationships — from understanding the three-circle model of emotion regulation developed by Paul Gilbert, to practical dyadic exercises that help couples connect more deeply and respond to conflict with care. Michelle offers heartfelt insights and powerful examples of how cultivating self-compassion and partner compassion can heal, strengthen, and sustain love.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Compassion in a T-Shirt

01:23 Michelle Becker’s Journey to Compassion

03:47 The Importance of Healthy Relationships

06:06 Understanding Compassion in Relationships

07:51 Self-Compassion and Partner Compassion

09:57 Threat System in Relationships

20:17 Drive System and Relationship Dynamics

28:54 Exploring Dyadic Practices for Couples

29:24 Powerful Exercises to Understand Patterns

32:22 Loving Kindness Practice

33:26 Customising Compassionate Practices

38:12 Challenges in Receiving Compassion

42:47 Communicating Needs in Relationships

46:48 A Real-Life Example of Compassion in Action

51:25 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Links:

Compassion for Couples: Building the Skills of Loving Connection (Becker, 2023)

https://www.amazon.com.au/Compassion-Couples-Building-Skills-Connection/dp/1462545157

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ 

Say hi on social: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl 

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ 

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ 

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/Gq4RkLl5bfI 

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! 

Video hashtags:

compassionfocusedtherapy, mindfulselfcompassion, relationships, couplescounselling, compassionforcouples, michellebecker

In this episode, I sit down with Dr Audra Horney, a licensed psychologist from Arizona, USA, who specialises in men’s mental health. Audra brings a refreshing mix of humour, honesty, and deep compassion to her work, helping men feel that therapy is a place where they truly belong.

We explore how to make therapy relevant, comfortable, and safe for men — and what happens when men start to connect with their emotions rather than avoid them. Audra shares her journey into specialising in men’s mental health, how she builds trust through authenticity, and why laughter can be such a powerful therapeutic tool.

Together, we dive into big questions around self-compassion, emotional expression, and self-criticism, and look at how approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and psychoeducation can support men in navigating their inner world with greater understanding and courage.

It’s a conversation about expanding what masculinity can mean — one that invites men to show up with both strength and softness.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Audra Horney

01:14 The Importance of Men’s Mental Health

03:25 Challenges Men Face in Therapy

05:17 Creating a Safe Space for Men

09:26 Authenticity in Therapy

15:25 Humour and Rapport Building

18:59 Compassion and Self-Compassion

26:30 Emotional Vocabulary and Expression

29:53 Understanding Emotions in Men

31:03 The Role of Shame in Emotional Expression

35:23 Navigating Self-Criticism

46:22 The Importance of Self-Compassion

48:02 Expanding Masculinity

52:02 Upcoming Projects and Podcast

Links:

Dr Audra Horney's website (and links to socials)

https://www.moderntherapyaz.com/

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ 

Say hi on social: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl 

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ 

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ 

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/ltdqw22oaTI 

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! 

Video hashtags:

men’s mental health, compassion in therapy, self-compassion, internal family systems, IFS therapy, emotional expression, masculinity, shame and vulnerability, humour in therapy, compassion for men, men and emotions, psychology podcast, compassion focused therapy, Dr Stan Steindl, Dr Audra Horney, mental health awareness, therapy for men, emotional intelligence, self-criticism, vulnerability and strength

What if healing emotional pain could start with the simple act of tapping? 

In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I sit down with Carol Look, a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and pioneering EFT Master, for an inspiring conversation about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), psychotherapy, and gratitude. Carol shares her journey from traditional psychotherapy to discovering the transformative power of EFT. 

We talk about The Yes Code and her new book Yes, Thank You, and how tapping combined with gratitude can help release emotional blocks, address self-sabotage, and bring about profound healing. Together we explore how EFT and gratitude can unlock self-compassion, foster resilience, and open the door to lasting change. 

With practical demonstrations and personal insights, this is a must-watch for anyone interested in holistic healing, tapping, and emotional freedom.

Links:

Carol Look's website

https://www.carollook.com/

Carol's new book Yes, Thank You

https://www.carollook.com/yesthankyou/

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Carol Look and EFT

00:53 Discovering EFT: A Personal Journey

02:49 The Power of Tapping: Mechanisms and Benefits

09:42 Introducing the YES Code

16:29 Self-Compassion and Overcoming Blocks

26:23 Integrating Gratitude with Problem-Focused Approaches

27:39 The Power of Tapping and Gratitude Combined

27:58 Scientific Research Supporting Tapping and Gratitude

29:07 Transformative Effects of Gratitude and Tapping

32:24 Addressing PTSD and Deep-Seated Wounds

42:18 Practical Tapping and Gratitude Exercise

48:46 Choosing Joy and Emotional Freedom

50:30 Upcoming Workshops and Future Plans

If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ 

Say hi on social: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl 

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ 

Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ 

YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/g8-3KwYvJGA 

*Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! 

Video hashtags:

eft tapping, carol look, yes thank you book, the yes code, self compassion, gratitude practice, emotional freedom techniques, holistic healing, tapping therapy, compassion in a t shirt