(Content warnings: dubious math, quantum immortality, nuclear war)

Normal people make New Year's resolutions.

People on the internet love to make resolutions for November.

So, for the entire month of November, 41 people, myself included, set out to publish a post every day, as part of a writing residency called Inkhaven. On the final day, I couldn’t resist the temptation to pull out a prank and make sure no one appeared to have failed.

(Note that I want to maintain everything as plausibly deniable; everything in this post might or might not have happened.)

From Mahmoud, another resident:

Inkhaven is the name of the 30 day blogging retreat that I went on this month. The rules were: come meet your blogging heroes, post 500 words a day, online, by midnight or we kick you out.

I made it to the final day, but, on purpose, this last post will be fewer than 500 words. My reasons for this are kind of silly, but mostly I think it would be more fun if at least one person failed the program. I’m also writing post as a stream of consciousness, unsure where it will go. Maybe I’ll come up with a [...]

The original text contained 2 footnotes which were omitted from this narration.

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