Confident Couples Podcast

When Confident Couples ask, we answer! I didn’t think anyone would be interested in the behind the scenes of this podcast, but I guess you are. 😉

Today, we’re answering your listener questions about the podcast, why we’re doing it, and how it has affected us this year.

In this episode, we talk about:

What do Bud’s friends think about the show? What are you hoping to get out of this project? If there are common relationship issues that you have not had firsthand experience with, how do you plan to address them on the show? Do you think other couples should start a podcast together? What would make you quit doing this podcast? Many more!

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Send in more questions for Bud and Sara Radio here!  We are now obsessed with the “mailbag.” 😜

Mentioned in this Episode:

Couples Retreat movieSara’s favorite episode: 006: Acknowledge & Appreciate – What ‘The Office’ Taught Us About MarriageBud’s favorite episode: 018: Scott & Linda Schwefel: Insights Discovery & Learning to Communicate

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

The end of the year is always full of presents, parties, reflection, and resolutions.  Instead of just resolving to do stuff in the new year, how about setting some real goals for yourself and your partnership?  

Today, we’re talking about our annual goal setting process and how it keeps us moving forward together.

The specific areas we goal plan are: 

PersonalBusiness/WorkFamily Finance

In this episode, we talk about:

SMART goals (and why Sara isn’t necessarily into that framework)How visioning for the future can help you set goals for this yearSetting a preferred outcome and thinking through the monthly steps you need to take to get thereWhy the way we each design our goals is way differentA few of our real annual goals all the way back to 2012!Starting with a fun “dream date”Providing support vs accountability

Our suggested goal planning process for couples:

Write your individual goals separatelyExchange them electronically so your partner can review them in advanceCome together and provide each other feedback

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Recommend to your partner that you go out on an end of the year “dream date.”  You decide what you want to get out of it!

Mentioned in this Episode:

15 year visions (episode 14)Life Planning Dinner (episode 3)

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Tis the season for work parties and networking events.  Are you prepared to tackle them as a couple?

Today, we’re talking about our favorite ways to make the most of these events, and a few of our networking secrets.

In this episode, we talk about:

Our history of going to work events togetherLearning to split upSetting you partner up for success if he/she doesn’t know anyoneRed, yellow, and green light topicsA trick for how your partner can help you if you don’t remember someone’s nameHow networking as a couple can make you stronger together than you are apart

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Talk to your partner about our “introduction” trick for figuring out someone’s name.

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

This week’s episode is a follow up to last week’s about mindset shifts in marriage.  This week, Bud is talking about mindset shifts that men in marriage often need to make.

From involving your spouse in your finances to communicating better, these three simple things are some of Bud’s best pieces of advice for better relationships.

In this episode, we talk about:

Living on the same planet when it comes to financesHow to make budgeting easier to understand and talk aboutCommunicating with your spouse the way they want to be communicated toIt’s not about how we get there, it’s about the end result“Are we having a problem-solving conversation or are we having a listening conversation?”

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Pick out one of these shifts and try it today!

Mentioned in this episode:

Money and budgeting episodePersonality tests episode“It’s Not About the Nail” on YouTube

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Ladies, this episode is for you.  

I was thinking about advice I would give to young women entering into marriage, and I came up with these three mindset traps that women often fall into.  

These are things I’ve learned from and am still working through after 17 years in a relationship and 8 years of marriage. 

–Sara

In this episode, we talk about:

Bud’s advice: Thinking about your preferred outcome or keeping the end goal in mind—What do you want your relationship to look like?  Then work backward from thereExpecting your partner to constantly know how you’re feeling and what you’re thinkingThe right, fair, productive way to seek emotional supportDo you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?  You can’t be right all the timeDeciding what you’re going to live withRealizing that everyone’s relationship is different and that your partner is not going to have every good trait of every good relationship you hear about

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Think about one thing you’re going to decide to live with—Something your partner does that you can get over and try not to fix.  

Then, think of one other thing that they do well naturally that you can choose to appreciate.

Mentioned in this episode:

Our episode on visioning: 014: Visioning – Imagining Life 15 Years from Today011: Are You Setting Your Partner Up for Success or Failure?

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

We recently listened to a great presentation about Trust. Research on trust shows that trust is built in small moments, not in grand gestures. In this episode, we’re talking about building a stronger relationship every day.

In this episode, we talk about:

Treating every day like it’s your anniversary“Trust is gained in drops and lost in buckets.”There are no cheat days in trust-buildingPutting way too much pressure on anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Go listen to Dr. Brené Brown: The Anatomy of Trust!  You’ll learn so much about trust-building.

Mentioned in this episode:

Thoughts inspired by Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations specific episode: Dr. Brené Brown: The Anatomy of TrustNaked Marriage podcast006: Acknowledge & Appreciate – What ‘The Office’ Taught Us About Marriage

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

There are probably a lot of people in your life who want to be prioritized.  For young couples especially, prioritizing your partner vs your family members can be really tough.  

Today, we’re talking about who should be the top of your priority list.  And, we’ll dive into positively managing your family relationships.

In this episode, we talk about:

A short tangent on dealing with family over the holidaysSara gets fired up about putting your spouse above all othersPublic agreement, or at least not embarrassing your partner by disagreeing with them in a big, loud wayHow you’re making your family feel about your partnerHandling communication with each family

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Do something today that makes your partner feel like they’re number 1.

Mentioned in this episode:

Four Christmases movie

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

In this episode, we’re talking to Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman, relationship coaches, speakers, and hosts of the EmPowered Couples Podcast. 

Since social media is such a tough topic for modern couples, we asked them to tackle it with us.

This interview went deep into how social media can be a distraction from connection and how to recover trust.

For both of us, our favorite part of the interview was the Freemans’ advice about creating clear agreements in your relationship.  Don’t miss it!

In this episode, we talk about:

Committing to a growth-oriented relationshipThe ways social media can become a distraction from true connectionHow to talk to your partner about their social media activityHow to recover from social media trust-breaking eventsAgreements—99% of couples have no agreements in their relationships, only assumptions and expectations  (don’t miss this! Fast forward to 25:05)Getting caught up in other people’s goals

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Use the holidays to create your next year intentionally.  Save some time on your calendar now!

Mentioned in this episode:

Connect with and find out more about Aaron and Jocelyn’s work:

The New Power Couple book@meet_thefreemans on InstagramMeetTheFreemans.com

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

We’ve all been in situations where we’ve complained about our partner to our friends.

This is kind of inevitable once in a while, but we really believe it shouldn’t be a habit.  On today’s episode, we talk about the impact that complaining about your partner has on your relationships, friendships, and your own mindset.

In this episode, we talk about:

How complaining can make you feel more negative about your partner in generalThe difference between believing your partner is being (a temporary state) a jerk and believing your partner “is” (a permanent character) a jerkRecognizing when you’re complaining just for relief or affirmationHow your complaining can affect your friends’ relationshipsTalking to your friends about your spouse in a way that is actually looking for help

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Sara’s challenge: Say something nice about your partner to your friends.

Bud’s challenge: Catch yourself the next time you start complaining about your partner, or rephrase the complaint into a “help me” statement.

Mentioned in this episode:

Mr and Mrs Smith movie— therapy sceneGreat times to address complaints with your partner: The Ritual and Life Planning Dinner

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Where are our work from home couples?  This one is for you!  

In this awesome age of the internet, a lot of us have a job or business that allows at least one partner to work from home.  This has been our life for about 9 years.  

Today, we’re talking about how we handle Sara working from home, and our advice for other couples.

In this episode, we talk about:

What we love about working from homeOur challenges with Sara working from homeHow we don’t talk to each other at lunchDiffering work styles and how to navigate them

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

If you work from home, invite your partner into a conversation about your work style and what you need to be productive.  But—Also be open to your partner’s feedback about your work and what they need related to your work.

Share this episode with someone you know who works from home!

Mentioned in this episode:

This Is Nuts: It Takes Nearly 30 Minutes to Refocus After You Get Distracted

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.