Confident Couples Podcast

You’ve heard it before, that budgeting can be hard.  Well, it doesn't need to be. This week we talk about common roadblocks to budgeting, and ideas to have fun with this important practice as a couple. 

If you feel like you should have a budget but think it sounds kind of awful, this episode is for you.

For more on budgeting, check out our fundamental episode on budgeting: 

004: Budgeting & Money – Own Your Finances as a Couple

And here are all of our episodes involving budgeting as a couple.

In this episode, we talk about:

What made Sara dread budgeting when we started budgeting as a coupleHow we worked to make budgeting less painfulViewing budgeting as “allowing” you to spend rather than restrictingHow to make talking about budgeting more funWhat to do if a budget just seems like too much work

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Plan your first budget meeting if you’ve never done one before.  Think about ways you can make it fun. To prepare, make sure to download our budget sheet.

Mentioned in this episode:

Our first episode about budgeting, covering how we budget and our history with it: 004: Budgeting & Money – Own Your Finances as a CoupleOur monthly ritual where we talk about our budget together: 003: Life Planning DinnerOur Bud and Sara Budget Worksheet to start the discussion (to save this for your own use, go to File > Make a Copy)Software tools to manage your budget easily:Mint.com (free budgeting tool!)Quicken (what we use because we like its cash flow forecast)YNAB

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

It’s a BIG conversation among couples these days… but we didn’t even think about it until this week.  The topic is cell phone privacy.

Sara came across this tweet, which asked “Do you let your partner have full access to your phone and/or computer?  Why/why not?”

https://twitter.com/pjrvs/status/1147170556250226689?s=12

The tweet has over 80 responses, with vastly different viewpoints.

So on this episode of the podcast, we’re talking about our thoughts on device privacy within a committed relationship.  We share some of the commenters’ opinions, as well as our own.

There’s no right or wrong answer here, so we’re super curious… how do you handle cell phone privacy in your relationship?  Comment or send us a message @budandsara on Instagram.

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Have an open conversation about cell phone and device transparency (maybe at Life Planning Dinner)

Mentioned in this episode:

The original Tweet

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Engaged or thinking about it? Planning a wedding will present some of the first big challenges you work through as a couple.

We planned our wedding over 8 years ago and somehow managed to get to the altar. 😉  So in this week’s episode, we’re sharing our top 3 tips for getting along during wedding planning.

Don’t miss Bud’s rants on wedding planning, and what to do and what not to do to honor each other in the process.

In this episode, we talk about:

Prioritizing what matters to you on your wedding dayOpenly discussing what you want to spend Managing family expectationsThe importance of staying friends

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

On today’s episode, we’re taking a quick ride on our time machine back to 2002.  We share a bit of our history as high school sweethearts, but mostly, we share what spending our whole adult lives together has taught us about change. 

If you’re not into our story, skip to minute 11 for a few key takeaways.

Mentioned in this episode:

Our episode on Visioning: 014: Visioning - Imagining Life 15 Years from NowArmchair Expert podcast: Expert on Expert with Esther PerelTed Talk: Esther Perel: The secret to desire in a long-term relationshipTed Talk: Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved (not necessarily how we feel about infidelity, but still a worthwhile perspective to listen and understand)

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

This week, we’re telling the story of an idea that Sara got from another podcast—going TV free for a week, instead of defaulting to turning on the TV after dinner like we usually do.

Bud didn’t quite jump on board.  It turned into a real life example of negotiating as a couple.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why Sara was scared to ask Bud to try a few days TV-freeBud’s counter-offer to the idea of no TV, instead of just saying noHow Bud recommends negotiating within your relationship

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

The next time your partner suggests something new, don’t automatically pivot to the “no.” Consider a counter-offer toward your preferred solution.

Mentioned in this episode:

The podcast that started this discussion: Young House Love #131: The Surprising Side Effects Of Going TV Free

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

We didn’t start a relationship podcast because we have it all figured out.  Just in case you’re getting that impression, we’re pulling back the curtain this week to talk about the things we’re currently struggling with.

If you feel like no one understands that relationships are tough, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

The fight we had 5 minutes before we started recording this episodeFear, uncertainty, and money scarcityWithholding information and communication in a relationshipWhen one partner won’t budge in how they communicate

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Be honest about something you’re struggling with this week.  Find a way to address it directly with your partner instead of holding it in.

Mentioned in this episode:

Our personality tests episode: “017: Personality Tests – How to Finally (!) Understand Your Partner”Life DinnerOur episode about The Ritual: “002: The Ritual – How to Communicate Intentionally, Every Day” Barriers to effective communication - Insights Discovery episode

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

We didn’t always geek out about relationship development—we actually thought that being intentional, having hard conversations, and seeking marriage help were signs of weakness.  Obviously, that’s all changed, and today, we’re talking about why.

This episode is for you if just the idea of listening to a marriage or relationship podcast seems dumb.  We get it, and we’ve been there. Give this one a shot and see if we can talk you through a few misconceptions.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why we turned down premarital counselingThe lie of “Isn’t love enough?” Why you can’t wait to work on your marriage until it’s brokenStuff everyone struggles with (not just you)

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

We want to hear from you!  Share with us a lie you’ve told yourselves about working on your marriage and why you’re listening to this podcast.

Leave us a comment on Instagram.

Mentioned in this episode:

“Acknowledge and Appreciate”‘Couples Retreat’ movie - Couples skill building sceneOur episode about the Enneagram

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

It’s a question we’ve heard a lot after being in a relationship for 16 years and married for 7 years: “When are you going to have kids?”

These days, at ages 31 and 33, here’s what we get more often: “Do you want to have kids?” “Are you going to have kids?”

Our answer to them, and to you, is that we don’t know.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about being child-free by choice into our early 30s, why we’ve made this choice, and if we think we’ll ever change our minds.

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

We know we’ve had an awful lot of ideas for intentional practices you should start doing in your relationship.  And we get that that might be kind of overwhelming. So today, we’re turning this podcast upside-down to talk about a few things you could stop doing today to have a better relationship.

In this episode, we talk about:

Complaining and negativityPicking on your partner in publicMaking small issues into big ones

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Stop doing one thing that’s annoying your partner this week.  Be self-aware.

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

How well do you understand your own innate motivations, fears, and communication style?  If you’re not sure, the Enneagram may be a great model to learn more about yourself.

Since the Enneagram involves lots of numbers and can get a little technical, we brought in an expert to explain it all.  Barbara Lawton is an executive coach who uses the Enneagram to help her clients understand personality and communicate more effectively.  She's a certified instructor for Enneagram Worldwide and Integrative Enneagram.

If you’ve never heard of the Enneagram or have been curious, this will be a great introduction.

In this episode, we talk about:

What the Enneagram is all aboutHow the Enneagram can help us become more self-awareHow personality assessments can be used to improve relationships and communicationHow you can use Enneagram knowledge to appreciate differences

#ConfidentCouples challenge:

Find out your number!  Get your type at integrative9.com.  Barb recommends the “Standard” test.

Mentioned in this episode:

https://www.integrative9.com/GetYourType/

Let's connect!  Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.