Connection Therapy

For decades, the cognitive model has shaped therapy with the idea that our thoughts determine how we feel and behave. But new research suggests the opposite may be true—that emotions might actually be in the driver’s seat.

In this episode, Dr. Brenda Murrow takes a closer look at a newly published article, “Primary Appraisal Is Affective Not Cognitive: Exploring a Revised Transactional Model of Stress and Coping,” and unpacks how it challenges long-held assumptions in mental health. Drawing from neuroscience and the work of philosophers like Plato, Aristotle, Kant, and Heidegger, she shares how the article explores our subjective experiences and affective processes influence everything from decision-making to language.

Dr. Murrow also reflects on what this means in the therapy room, especially with trauma survivors, where asking specific questions about thinking can miss the mark. Instead, she considers how paying close attention to emotions, the body, and the environment can offer deeper support—and how tools like biofeedback may help us better understand what’s truly effective.

This episode invites you to think differently about what drives human behavior and how we show up with presence in the therapy space.

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References:

Steffen, P. R., & Anderson, T. (2025). Primary appraisal is affective not cognitive: Exploring a revised transactional model of stress and coping. Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, 50(2), 197–211. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s10484-025-09699-w

In this episode of the Connection Therapy Podcast, host Dr. Brenda Murrow explores what surprising new research on goats can teach us about human connection and therapy. Two recent studies shed light on how these social animals respond to emotional cues, offering valuable lessons for anyone working in a helping profession.

The first study, published in Frontiers in Zoology in 2019, found that goats could tell the difference between positive and negative calls from other goats. Not only did their behavior change, but researchers also noted shifts in heart rate variability, suggesting that positive vocalizations were related to a calming effect. The second study, published in Animal Behavior in 2024, extended these findings by showing that goats also reacted differently to happy and angry human voices—even when the voices were unfamiliar. While the responses in this case were behavioral rather than physiological, the research highlighted just how far emotional communication can reach across species.

For therapists, these studies highlight a simple but powerful truth: our tone, mood, and presence matter. Just as goats respond to emotional signals, so too do our clients. What we bring into the room can shape not only the conversation but also how someone feels in their body.

Dr. Murrow reflects on the practical takeaways for clinicians—reminding us that the therapeutic relationship is influenced as much by how we show up as by what we say. By being mindful of our emotional presence, we can create spaces that are calmer, safer, and more healing for the people we serve.

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References:

Baciadonna, L., Briefer, E., Favaro, L., & McElligott, A. (2019). Goats distinguish between positive and negative emotion-linked vocalisations. Frontiers in Zoology, 16(1), 1–11. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1186/s12983-019-0323-z

Mason, M. A., Semple, S., Marshall, H. H., & McElligott, A. G. (2024). Goats discriminate emotional valence in the human voice. Animal Behaviour, 209, 227–240. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1016/j.anbehav.2023.12.008

What we show on the outside doesn’t always reflect what’s happening on the inside—but sometimes the signals are there if we know how to read them. In this episode, Dr. Brenda explores her curiosity about the connection between behaviors, especially in children, and what’s happening internally for survivors of trauma.

She draws from polyvagal theory and highlights research like the study by Park et al. (2011), which examined the relationship between autonomic function, voice, and mood states. Their findings show how closely our internal physiology—like pulse rate variability—lines up with the signals we send through our voice and facial expressions.

Just as machines are being trained to read these signals, therapists and caregivers can sharpen their own intuition and skills to sense them too. This isn’t about confirming what we already think we know—it’s about exploration, staying open, and continuing to learn how and why these connections work.

Technology is advancing quickly, and studies like this one are pointing toward what many are already noticing in practice: the heart, face, and voice are deeply connected.

If you’ve ever been curious about the relationship between external behaviors and internal states, or you want inspiration to keep growing in your own therapeutic work, this conversation is for you.

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Chan-Kyu Park, Sanghoon Lee, Hi-Joon Park, You-Sang Baik, Young-Bae Park, & Young-Jae Park. (2011). Autonomic function, voice, and mood states. Clinical Autonomic Research, 21(2), 103–110. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s10286-010-0095-1

Working with children can be challenging, especially when they are experiencing emotional struggles. In this episode, Dr. Brenda Murrow examines how children decode emotions in voices and what this means for supporting their social and emotional development through therapy.

Drawing on a 2023 study published in Cerebral Cortex, Dr. Murrow highlights how a child’s ability to recognize emotional tone—particularly sadness—is closely linked to their social communication skills. Rather than avoiding or downplaying negative emotions, tuning in to these cues can actually strengthen a child’s capacity for empathy and social responsiveness over time.

Dr. Murrow also explores the practice of child-led play therapy, illustrating how children often express real-life experiences and emotions through their play. She emphasizes the importance of responding with authenticity, following the child’s lead, and creating a space where children can safely explore complex feelings. Through careful observation, reflective narration, and thoughtful engagement, therapists and caregivers can support children in processing difficult emotions without forcing positivity or over-interpreting behavior.

This episode offers research-backed insights and practical strategies for therapists, educators, and caregivers seeking to approach children’s emotional worlds with empathy, skill, and authenticity. Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of how emotional decoding and play intersect to support healthy social development and meaningful connection.

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There are now playlists for you to navigate to your favorite topics: https://connection-therapy.com/playlist

References:

Leipold, S., Abrams, D. A., Karraker, S., & Menon, V. (2023). Neural decoding of emotional prosody in voice-sensitive auditory cortex predicts social communication abilities in children. Cerebral Cortex, 33(3), 709–728. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1093/cercor/bhac095

In this episode of the Connection Therapy Podcast, Dr. Brenda Murrow explores the concept of voice prosody — the way something is said beyond the words themselves. Prosody includes the tone, pitch, rhythm, and other vocal qualities that carry emotional meaning and influence how language is experienced, which has implications for therapy.

Dr. Murrow draws from her personal experience with voice differences and discusses recent research, including a 2025 study showing that emotions such as sadness, anger, and joy can be effectively conveyed and recognized through a single spoken word. 

The episode covers the clinical importance of listening for emotional patterns, shifts, and rhythms in clients’ voices. Paying attention to these elements can reveal underlying feelings that may not be expressed through words alone. This is particularly valuable in trauma-informed and developmental work, where clients’ voices may reflect earlier developmental stages or past experiences, providing additional insight for sensitive intervention.

Dr. Murrow offers practical guidance for therapists on how to incorporate observations about prosody into therapy sessions. She emphasizes approaching this with curiosity and sensitivity to create a safe environment where clients can become aware of emotional patterns without feeling pressured or uncomfortable.

Ultimately, voice prosody provides a unique perspective on client experience. Attuning to both what is said and how it is said supports stronger therapeutic connection and can improve the effectiveness of clinical interventions.

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There are now playlists for you to navigate to your favorite topics: https://connection-therapy.com/playlist

References:

Coulombe, V., Martel-Sauvageau, V. & Monetta, L. The Expression of Vocal Emotions in Cognitively Healthy Adult Speakers: Impact of Emotion Category, Gender, and Age. J Nonverbal Behav 49, 35–51 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10919-024-00472-x

In this episode of the Connection Therapy Podcast, Dr. Brenda Murrow explores how our most basic emotional systems—shared with other mammals—shape both our behavior and overall well-being. Drawing from the work of Jaak Panksepp, Mark Solms, and Temple Grandin, she breaks down how concepts like allostasis, heart rate variability, and emotional flexibility connect to mental health and personality.

You’ll hear how Panksepp’s seven emotional systems can be translated into meaningful clinical work, how Mark Solms defines consciousness through the lens of biology, and why it matters that living beings must stay within specific physiological ranges. Dr. Murrow also introduces the idea of personality as a reflection of our brain’s strategy for staying regulated over time—not just day-to-day, but across our lifespan.

This episode challenges traditional personality assessments and highlights why moderate, adaptable functioning is often a more useful marker of mental health than extreme traits. Drawing inspiration from Dr. Temple Grandin, we consider how factors like genetics, environment, and sensory processing shape individual behavior—and how visualizing emotional systems like adjustable “volume knobs” can help both clients and clinicians understand themselves better.

Whether you're a mental health professional or simply interested in how emotional and biological systems work together, this conversation offers a compelling blend of science, experience, and practical application.

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There are now playlists for you to navigate to your favorite topics: https://connection-therapy.com/playlist

References:

Grandin, T. (2018). My reflections on understanding animal emotions for improving the life of animals in zoos. Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science, 21(Suppl 1), 12–22. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1080/10888705.2018.1513843

Marchant, J., Khazan, I., Cressman, M., & Steffen, P. (2025). Comparing the effects of square, 4–7-8, and 6 breaths-per-minute breathing conditions on heart rate variability, CO~~2~~ levels, and mood. Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, 50(2), 261–276. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s10484-025-09688-z

Panksepp, J. & Biven, L. (2012). The Archaeology of mind: Neuroevolutionary origins of human emotions. New York, NY: Norton.

Solms, Mark on Brain Science with Ginger Campbell, MD podcast, May 28, 2021

Steffen, P. R., & Olsen, J. A. (2025). Conceptualizing personality as individualized allostasis: Exploring a balanced measure of personality for psychotherapy/psychophysiology integration. Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, 50(2), 277–287. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s10484-025-09700-6

In this episode, Brenda explores the often-overlooked mismatch between what clients say and what they do. It’s a common experience in therapy: insight is there, but behavior doesn’t shift. This conversation dives into why that happens—and how unconscious motivation plays a powerful role in human behavior.

Grounding the conversation with contributions from the work of Fonagy, Freud, Schore, Panksepp, McWilliams, and more she explains how behavior is often driven by internal states we don’t even realize are there. It's not just about what we think—it’s about how we feel, and more importantly, how our brains process primary emotional experiences. Westen’s idea that affect regulation is the primary driver of motivation helps reframe what might look like resistance or avoidance in the therapy room.

From there, Brenda introduces the science of affective neuroscience, highlighting Jaak Panksepp’s research on the brain’s primary emotional systems. These systems—like Seeking, Fear, Panic/Grief, and Rage—are primal, fast, and often unconscious. She takes time to walk through each one, showing how they shape behavior in ways clients can’t always name. Whether it's a drive to connect, avoid danger, or lash out under pressure, these emotional systems often explain the “why” behind the stuckness.

Brenda also brings this into clinical practice. Using Nancy McWilliams’s framework, she explains how anxiety can come from different systems—and how knowing the source changes the ways to intervene.

Throughout the episode, Brenda encourages therapists to listen differently—to tune into the emotional system underneath the story. When we shift our focus to what’s happening in the body and deeper brain systems, we can meet clients in the places that words alone often can’t reach.

Enjoying the podcast?

There are now playlists for you to navigate to your favorite topics: https://connection-therapy.com/playlist

References:

Fonagy, P., & Target, M. (2003). Psychoanalytic theories:Perspectives from developmental psychopathology. 

McWilliams, N. (2014, September 2). 2012 Master Lecture - Beyond Traits: Personality

Differences As Intersubjective Themes [Video]. Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_kUE2GWeYE

Panksepp, J. (2009). Brain emotional systems and qualities of mental life: From animal models of affect to implications for psychotherapeutics. In D. Fosha, D. J., Siegel,

& M. F. Solomon (Eds.), The healing power of emotion: Affective neuroscience,

development & clinical practice (pp. 1-26). New York, NY: Norton.

Panksepp, J. & Biven, L. (2012). The Archaeology of mind: Neuroevolutionary origins of human emotions. New York, NY: Norton.

Schore, A.N. (2003). Affect dysregulation and disorders of the self. (and) Affect regulation and repair of the self. New York, NY: Norton.

In this episode, Dr. Brenda Murrow shares how learning from Dr. Rachaël Draaisma, an expert in horse behavior, has changed the way she shows up in the therapy room. What started as curiosity turned into a deeper appreciation for the power of observation, body awareness, and learning from unexpected places.

Brenda talks about what it means to really pay attention—to notice what’s not being said, and how our bodies communicate even when our words don’t. She shares how working with horses challenged her to move beyond just reading and thinking, and instead practice noticing, feeling, and responding in the moment.

We talk about subtle cues, like calming signals and body language, and how they show up in both horses and humans. Brenda also opens up about the discomfort of learning in new ways and why that discomfort can lead to growth.

This episode is a reminder that there’s wisdom all around us—even in the barn—and that sometimes the best way to understand people is to step outside the usual and pay attention in a new way.

References and More Information:

Book Club: https://connection-therapy.com/book-club

Webinar December 8th with Dr. Rachaël Draaisma:

https://connection-therapy.com/product/dr-rachael-draaisma-presents-language-signs-calming-signals-of-horses

To learn more about Rachaël’s work, visit calmingsignalsofhorses.com or check out her book Language Signs & Calming Signals of Horses (2017).

Podcast: Mark Solms on Brain Science with Ginger Campbell, MD, May 28, 2021

Podcast: Jaak Panksepp on the Unadulterated Intellect #77

Jaak Panksepp & Lucy Biven. (2012). The Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human Emotions (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) 1st Edition.  W. W. Norton & Company.

Lone Guardian, LLC, https://www.theloneguardian.org/

In part three of her conversation with Dr. Rachaël Draaisma, Brenda dives straight into one of the most persistent myths in the horse world: that chewing always means a horse is thinking—or being submissive. Turns out, it’s not that simple.

Dr. Draaisma helps us unpack what chewing actually communicates and why assuming a single meaning can cause us to miss what’s really going on. It’s not just about thoughtfulness or calm. Sometimes, it’s a signal of inner tension, an effort to self-regulate, or something entirely different. The context—and the rest of the body language—matters.

Dr. Draaisma also shares how our own body language plays a role in shaping how animals (and people) respond to us. Small shifts—a softer gaze, a change in posture, even the kind of eye contact we use—can dramatically change the feel of an interaction.

One of the standout moments? Her distinction between having an open mind and an open gaze. It's not enough to say you're willing to hear something new—your body needs to see it. 

Whether you work with animals, as in equine-assisted therapy, or just want to be more mindful in your connections, this episode is packed with insights. Dr. Draaisma reminds us that communication isn’t just verbal—it’s energetic, physical, and often nonverbal. And if we want to be truly present and responsive, we have to keep learning how to read the cues.

This episode is a powerful reminder: when we change how we show up—right down to the tilt of our head or the quality of our gaze—we open the door to more trust, more connection, and a whole lot more understanding.

More Information:

Book Club: https://connection-therapy.com/book-club

Webinar December 8th with Dr. Rachaël Draaisma:

https://connection-therapy.com/product/dr-rachael-draaisma-presents-language-signs-calming-signals-of-horses

To learn more about Rachaël’s work, visit calmingsignalsofhorses.com or check out her book Language Signs & Calming Signals of Horses (2017).

In today’s episode Brenda continues her conversation with Dr. Rachaël Draaisma. In part two of this discussion, they move deeper into what it means to support emotional health in animals—not just by shaping their behavior, but by helping them feel safe, curious, and motivated from within.

Dr. Draaisma shares how she builds training sessions that work with the animal’s emotional state instead of against it. Drawing from the neuroscience of Jaak Panksepp and Lucy Biven, we focus on one powerful emotional system: the seeking system. In both animals and humans, it’s connected to feelings of motivation and joy. 

One of the simplest ways Dr. Draaisma helps animals engage their seeking system is through scentwork. Instead of teaching horses to follow commands, she sets up activities where the horses use their noses to search for treats or identify scents. Through these small moments of discovery, dopamine—one of the brain’s significant chemicals—is released, helping the animal shift from a state of stress to one of focus and enjoyment.

By helping the horse enjoy the process of searching and learning, Dr. Draaisma creates an emotional shift that lasts beyond the training session. Throughout the episode, we also discuss how to recognize when an animal is operating from curiosity versus fear. Dr. Draaisma explains the calming signals you might notice. These small shifts in body language give us valuable clues about how the horse is feeling and whether our work is supporting emotional safety.

This episode encourages us to look beyond surface-level behavior and instead ask: is the animal curious and engaged, or simply complying out of fear? Whether you work with animals or people, the same principle applies. When we help individuals feel safe enough to explore, we create space for meaningful emotional change.

To learn more about Rachaël’s work, visit calmingsignalsofhorses.com or check out her book Language Signs & Calming Signals of Horses (2017).

References:

Jaak Panksepp & Lucy Biven. (2012). The Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human Emotions (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) 1st Edition.  W. W. Norton & Company.