Connection Therapy

In therapy, we often listen closely to what’s being said—but what’s not being said can sometimes offer even more insight.

A client may describe their week as “fine” or say they’re “managing,” but their body is heavy, their eyes are downcast, and their facial expressions suggest something else entirely. This kind of misalignment—between verbal language and nonverbal signals—isn’t uncommon.

In today’s episode, Brenda explores what’s happening when someone’s internal emotional state doesn’t match how they present on the outside. Brenda brings in the foundational work of Jaak Panksepp and team, who identified core emotional systems and how they influence behavior to further explore this phenomena.  She reviews Panksepp’s idea that different emotional systems in the brain—like the grief system and the seeking system—can become imbalanced. Someone might be in a state of deep sadness or loss, but still trying to push forward and find meaning, and the result is a presentation that appears disconnected.

She also touches on the work of Paul Ekman, whose research on facial expressions helps us understand how emotions show up across the face—often before a person is even aware of what they’re feeling. This is where things can get especially valuable in therapy. When we’re better able to recognize the multiple ways clients signal what they’re feeling, we’re better equipped to meet clients where they actually are, not just where they say they are.

This episode is less about confronting inconsistencies and more about using them as information. This conversation offers practical insight into what it means to really pay attention to the signals that often go unspoken—and how those signals can guide deeper, more attuned work.

www.connectiontherapypodcast.com

Follow Brenda on Instagram @theconnectiontherapypodcast

References:

Ekman, P. (2003). Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life. Holt.

Jaak Panksepp & Lucy Biven. (2012). The Archaeology of Mind: Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human Emotions (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) 1st Edition.  W. W. Norton & Company.

In today’s episode, Brenda explores how relationships—whether with clients in our professional lives or in our personal lives—are strengthened not by perfection, but by disruption and repair. Drawing from Beebe and Lachmann’s 1994 paper, she explains how the concept of a "good enough therapist" and the ability to repair mistakes is essential in building trust and deepening connections.

Beebe and Lachmann’s paper identifies three core principles that enhance relationships: ongoing regulations, disruption and repair, and heightened affective moments. Their work shows that there’s no such thing as a perfect bond. What leads to success in therapy is how we act throughout the process, including handling moments of disruption and repair that enhance the connection afterward.

Brenda shares a personal story from her podcasting experience. She made a mistake by using the wrong term for a facial feature when she first introduced the concept in some early episodes, which could have led to a loss of trust with her listeners. However, instead of letting the disruption define the situation, she realized it as an opportunity to repair the relationship and reestablish trust with her audience—an important reminder for therapists too.

This aligns with Beebe and Lachmann principles which emphasize that disruptions aren’t something to fear. Rather, repairing them is what strengthens the bond in the course of the relationship. Their work also highlights heightened affective moments—unexpected events that challenge the usual pattern. These moments, while uncomfortable, can deepen the connection if handled with care.

Brenda’s experience demonstrates how, like with clients, it’s not about avoiding mistakes but embracing them as opportunities to rebuild trust. Both in therapy and in our personal lives, synchrony—the ongoing effort to connect and reconnect after disruption—is what fosters stronger, more trusting relationships.

References:

Beebe, B., & Lachmann, F. M. (1994). Representation and Internalization in Infancy: Three Principles of Salience. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 11(2), 127–165. 

Ekman, P. (2003). Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life. Holt.

D.W. Winnicott’s idea of “good enough” in Playing and Reality. (1971, Penguin).

Brenda has often shrugged off the question, “Can horses really smell fear?” But in this episode, she takes a closer look—and the research is fascinating.

When someone walks into their first equine session feeling nervous, it’s not just body language the horse is picking up on. There’s now scientific evidence that animals, including horses, can detect chemosignals—part of the odors released through human sweat that reflect emotional states like fear or calm.

One study Brenda shares involves a group of 40 retrievers exposed to human body odor samples. The dogs responded differently based on the emotional state tied to each scent. Similar studies are now being done with horses, and early results are showing the same kind of nervous system alignment.

Horses have an incredibly sensitive sense of smell. They don’t just react in the moment—they remember scents, too. This adds a whole new dimension to the healing encounters that happen in equine-assisted therapy. It’s not just about how humans approach the horse physically, but also what they’re unconsciously communicating through scent.

Brenda emphasizes how this research opens the door to a fuller picture of what's really happening during treatment. These chemical signals—things we often don’t realize we’re giving off—can shape the way an encounter unfolds, whether we intend it or not.

It’s a humbling realization. As Brenda points out, it challenges practitioners to consider not only the emotional needs of the humans in the space but also the subtle cues the horses receive.

By paying attention to these less obvious factors, we gain a deeper appreciation for the human-animal connection—and for the complexity of healing work done alongside our four-legged partners.

www.connectiontherapypodcast.com

Follow Brenda on Instagram @theconnectiontherapypodcast

References:

Janet Jones, Ph.D., (2020). Horse Brain: Human Brain: The Neuroscience of Horsemanship. Trafalgar Square.

Palumbo, R. V., Marraccini, M. E., Weyandt, L. L., Wilder-Smith, O., McGee, H. A., Liu, S., & Goodwin, M. S. (2017). Interpersonal autonomic physiology: A systematic review of the literature. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 21(2), 99–141. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1177/1088868316628405 Semin, G. R., Scandurra, A., Baragli, P., Lanatà, A., & D’Aniello, B. (2019). Inter- and Intra-Species Communication of Emotion: Chemosignals as the Neglected Medium. Animals (2076-2615), 9(11), 887. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.3390/ani9110887

By exploring the latest research on how our nervous systems interact—whether between humans or across species—Brenda aims to provide therapists with the knowledge to deepen their connections with clients and improve therapeutic outcomes. 

In recent podcast episodes, Brenda has explored how physiological interactions, both between humans and animals, can impact therapeutic outcomes. Through research on heart rate variability (HRV) and the autonomic nervous system, she reveals new ways therapists can enhance client connections and regulation during therapy.

Earlier episodes laid the groundwork for understanding HRV and its importance to mental and physical health. These ideas provide valuable context for understanding how our nervous systems sync during therapy, deepening the connection between therapist and client.

In today’s episode, Brenda looks at a systematic study on interpersonal physiology, that reviewed multiple studies on physiological synchrony. This research shows how nervous systems align during therapy, influencing both the therapist and client. The findings also reveal that physiological responses are unpredictable and depend on the relationship and situation, which is why it’s essential for therapists to be mindful of these shifts.

Brenda also takes a closer look at animal-assisted therapy, particularly the physiological connection between humans and horses. A second study is presented that shows the bidirectional nature of this interaction—where both the human and the horse influence each other’s physiological states.

Understanding the physiological exchanges that happen in therapy can profoundly change how therapists approach their work. By being aware of how nervous systems interact—whether between humans or with animals—therapists can gain a deeper understanding of their clients' needs. 

References:

Beatrice Beebe: https://www.beatricebeebe.com/

Callara, A. L., Scopa, C., Contalbrigo, L., Lanatà, A., Scilingo, E. P., Baragli, P., & Greco, A. (2024). Unveiling directional physiological coupling in human-horse interactions. IScience, 27(9). https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1016/j.isci.2024.110857

Palumbo, R. V., Marraccini, M. E., Weyandt, L. L., Wilder-Smith, O., McGee, H. A., Liu, S., & Goodwin, M. S. (2017). Interpersonal autonomic physiology: A systematic review of the literature. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 21(2), 99–141. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1177/1088868316628405

www.connectiontherapypodcast.com

Follow Brenda on Instagram @theconnectiontherapypodcast

Mental and physical health don’t operate in isolation; they influence each other in profound ways. Stress, anxiety, and emotional distress often manifest physically, whether through muscle tension, changes in posture, or even pupil dilation. But what do we do with this information as therapists? Understanding these real-time physical responses can provide deeper insight into a client’s emotional state and the effectiveness of our interventions.

Eye movements, pupil dilation, and facial expressions offer powerful clues about what’s happening internally. Research from nonverbal communication experts like Judy Burgoon and team, and Paul Ekman has demonstrated how eye behaviors reflect emotions such as attraction, interest, or distress.

For therapists, this means that observing a client’s eye behavior during a session can help assess whether an intervention is resonating. Is their gaze steady, signaling engagement? Do they avert their eyes, suggesting overwhelm? These cues can help clinicians refine their approach in real-time.

By paying attention to eye behaviors and other physical responses, therapists can move beyond verbal communication and tap into deeper, often unconscious, emotional states. The ability to discern these real-time reactions can lead to more effective interventions and a greater understanding of each client’s internal experience.

As we continue exploring ways to refine therapy practices, these insights serve as a reminder that healing happens on multiple levels. By learning to read the body's signals, we gain another tool to support our clients in meaningful ways.

References:

Burgoon, J.K., Manusov, V., & Guerro, L. (2022).Nonverbal Communication.  2nd Ed. Routledge.

Ekman, P. (2003). Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life. Holt.

vanOyen Witvliet, C., Knoll, R. W., Hinman, N. G., & DeYoung, P. A. (2010). Compassion-focused reappraisal, benefit-focused reappraisal, and rumination after an interpersonal offense: Emotion-regulation implications for subjective emotion, linguistic responses, and physiology. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5(3), 226–242. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1080/17439761003790997

Heart rate variability (HRV) plays a crucial role in emotional regulation and mental health. Research shows that higher HRV is linked to improved well-being, making it an important consideration for therapists. In this episode, Brenda continues the discussion on HRV, exploring how it connects to psychotherapy and how clinicians can integrate it into their practice.

In this episode, Brenda reviewed an article written by Dr. Donald Moss who highlights how the vagus nerve acts as a “two-way highway” between the brain, heart, and gut, directly influencing stress regulation, emotional flexibility, and social engagement. Brenda reviews his insights and discusses how HRV can be improved through practical therapeutic approaches.

Deb Dana, known for applying Porges’ Polyvagal Theory to therapy, reinforces his concept of neuroception—our subconscious ability to detect safety or danger through nonverbal cues like tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. When clients feel safe, they are better able to regulate emotions and engage in therapy more effectively.

Brenda emphasizes that therapists can support HRV and mental well-being by:

• Creating a safe and attuned therapeutic environment

• Encouraging co-regulation and reliable relationships

• Engaging in shared activities that foster connection

Even without biofeedback tools, therapists naturally enhance HRV by fostering safety and connection in their sessions. As Brenda continues to explore HRV in upcoming episodes, she will dive deeper into how clinicians can recognize and support physiological regulation in their clients, leading to better therapeutic outcomes.

www.connectiontherapypodcast.com

Follow Brenda on Instagram @theconnectiontherapypodcast

References:

Deb Dana (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. WW Norton & Company, Ltd.

Moss, D. (2025). Brain-Heart Interactions and Optimizing Psychotherapy. Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, Preprints, 1–8. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s10484-025-09692-3

In this episode, Brenda dives into two studies about heart rate variability (HRV) in horses and humans, and how they can inform therapy practices. These studies reveal some surprising similarities between our nervous systems and those of horses, giving us new ways to think about improving therapeutic approaches.

The first study, published in 2011 by Drs. Gerke, Baldwin, and Schiltz, measured HRV in horses during equine-assisted therapy. The findings showed that HRV in horses follows the same patterns as in humans, confirming that both species share similar nervous system responses. This discovery opened avenues for understanding how measuring HRV in humans and horses during equine-assisted services could illuminate ways to enhance our approaches.

The second study focused on how eye temperature in horses can indicate stress. When horses experience stress, their eye temperature rises, reflecting changes in their nervous systems.  This provides another valuable tool for understanding nervous system activation and emotional responses, especially in high-stress situations.

For mental health clinicians, these studies highlight the importance of recognizing physical cues, like eye contact that can also provide signals about nervous system regulation, to better understand a patient’s emotional state. Being able to identify when a patient’s nervous system is activated helps us time our interventions more effectively. If we notice stress or tension, we can help the patient regulate before diving into deeper therapeutic work, making our approach more effective and responsive.

As therapy continues to evolve, understanding these subtle signs will help clinicians create more effective interventions by aligning with the patient’s current emotional and physical needs.

References:

Evans, L., Cameron-Whytock, H., & Ijichi, C. (2024). Eye understand: Physiological measures as novel predictors of adaptive learning in horses. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 271, 1–10. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2023.106152

Gehrke, E. K., Baldwin, A., & Schiltz, P. M. (2011). Heart Rate Variability in Horses Engaged in Equine-Assisted Activities. Journal of Equine Veterinary Science, 31(2), 78–84. https://doi-org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/10.1016/j.jevs.2010.12.007

Panksepp, J. (2009). Brain emotional systems and qualities of mental life: From animal models of affect to implications for psychotherapeutics. In D. Fosha, D. J., Siegel, & M. F. Solomon (Eds.), The healing power of emotion: Affective neuroscience, development & clinical practice (pp. 1-26). New York, NY: Norton.

Porges, S. W. (2009). Reciprocal influences between body and brain in the perception and expression of affect: A Polyvagal perspective. In D. Fosha, D. J., Siegel, & M. F. Solomon, M. (Eds.), The healing power of emotion: Affective neuroscience, development & clinical practice (pp. 27-54). New York, NY: Norton.

Heart rate variability (HRV) is one of the most powerful yet often overlooked indicators of both mental and physical health. It’s closely linked to anxiety, depression, trauma, heart disease, and more. But for therapists, HRV offers even greater value—it provides insight into whether a patient is in shutdown, stuck in fight-or-flight mode, or able to engage and process emotions.

While traditional therapy often focuses on thoughts and behaviors, the nervous system plays a critical role in whether interventions actually succeed. A patient stuck in survival mode cannot engage in deep reflection or emotional processing, no matter how skilled the therapist is. Recognizing these physiological patterns allows clinicians to adjust their approach, making sessions more effective and creating a sense of safety for the patient.

In this episode, Brenda explains the science behind heart rate variability and connects it to Polyvagal Theory and practical therapy work. She also introduces biofeedback as a powerful tool to help patients strengthen their ability to shift between nervous system states.

By understanding HRV, therapists can better support their patients and enhance the effectiveness of their therapy sessions.

References: 

Bradshaw, G. A., & Schore, A. N. (2007). How elephants are opening doors: Developmental neuroethology, attachment and social context. Ethology, 113, 426-436.

Deb Dana (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. WW Norton & Company, Ltd.

Inna Khazan (2013). The Clinical Handbook of Biofeedback: A Step-by-Step Guide for Training and Practice with Mindfulness. Wiley-Blackwell.

Porges, S. W. (2009). Reciprocal influences between body and brain in the perception and expression of affect: A Polyvagal perspective. In D. Fosha, D. J., Siegel, & M. F. Solomon, M. (Eds.), The healing power of emotion: Affective neuroscience, development & clinical practice (pp. 27-54). New York, NY: Norton.

Mental health is deeply personal and shaped by emotional well-being, behavioral adjustment, and the ability to handle daily life. Emotions like anxiety and depression are normal responses to challenges, but when they interfere with functioning, they may require support. The key question is: When does a normal emotional experience become a mental health condition?

Brenda explains that two central questions help guide this understanding: How do we define mental health, and how do we recognize when it’s interfering with life? Everyone experiences emotions like sadness and anxiety. These conditions only become problematic when they are too severe for someone to thrive.

Determining this often relies on self-reporting or, in the case of children, input from parents or teachers. Mental and physical health are also closely connected—many conditions coexist, though research has yet to determine exactly how they influence each other. Correlation does not mean causation, but understanding these links can improve treatment.

People seek therapy hoping to feel better, but Brenda asks—how much better could they be? Assessing severity is crucial to providing the right support. She is exploring new ways to evaluate mental health by studying relationships and emotional interactions. Equine-assisted therapy, for example, offers insight into emotions through how horses respond to humans.

Mental health is complex, but by deepening our understanding of its connection to physical health and relationships, we can better identify, assess, and support those seeking help.

www.connectiontherapypodcast.com

Follow Brenda on Instagram @theconnectiontherapypodcast

Mental health is a complex and essential part of our lives, but many people overlook how many ways we can improve it. Therapy is often the go-to solution, but it’s only one piece of the puzzle. So, what does mental health really mean, and how can we know when we’ve made progress?

This week, Brenda has been reflecting on these big questions and exploring what mental health and healing truly look like. As she dug deeper into this, she wanted to go back to the basics and examine the core ideas behind mental health itself.

Brenda looked to the American Psychological Association (APA) and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), an organization dedicated to supporting those affected by mental health challenges.  These organizations see mental health as emotional well-being, the ability to cope with daily stresses, and form meaningful relationships. Essentially, it’s about living life in a balanced way, being able to function in work, school, and at home without feeling overwhelmed.

But what about healing? When someone is struggling with their mental health, how can they return to balance? NAMI reminds us that mental health challenges are very common—one in five adults and one in six children face mental health issues each year. 

Brenda also thought about how to improve mental health when professional help is hard to come by. Nearly half the US population lives in areas without enough mental health professionals. This makes it even more crucial to know that there are steps people can take on their own to improve mental health before seeking out a professional. Regular exercise, eating well, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, and practicing gratitude can make a big difference. Building social connections is another important factor. Staying connected with others helps improve emotional well-being and can prevent isolation.

Brenda reminds listeners that healing isn’t always linear, but there are things we can all do to feel better and live with more balance.

www.connectiontherapypodcast.com

Follow Brenda on Instagram @theconnectiontherapypodcast

References: 

American Psychological Association (APA)

https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health

Jaak Panksepp(2009). Brain emotional systems and qualities of mental life: From animal models of affect to implications for psychotherapeutics. In D. Fosha, D. J., Siegel, & M. F. Solomon (Eds.), The healing power of emotion: Affective neuroscience, development & clinical practice (pp. 1-26). New York, NY: Norton.

Stephen Porges (2011). Polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation.  pp. 12-17.

Allan Schore, https://www.allanschore.com/