It can be very easy to allow ourselves to be taken for granted or even abused, when we are in a relationship, because we want it to succeed so much, we often put up with behaviour that is detrimental to us without even realising it.

From the podcast: "Even when some women (and men) actually feel that they are a low option for their lovers, partners, or bosses, that they come last in the diary, the schedule, the job, and the scheme of things, they still hang in there taking the crumbs that fall off the table, instead of being the main bread themselves. Such a situation, where the relationship is clearly imbalanced and one-sided, is not good for either person."

Elaine explains the negative effects iof just being an option in this episode.

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You might believe that the way people treat you is entirely dependent on what they think of you. That is true in part. But there is something else about you, personally, that really triggers their reaction, often without you even knowing.

This podcast explains what it is.

RELATED BOOK: The New Theory of Confidence 

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It is often very annoying and frustrating to feel misunderstood by others, despite what you do. Sometimes it can feel lie we are existing in a void or we're very different from others.  So what could be the answer to that?

This podcast explains the basic reason why you might feel misunderstood and what you could do about it.

RELATED BOOK: The New Theory of Confidence

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Are you the type of person who is afraid to fulfil your own needs because you tend to put others above you? To treat them more than human, and to think you are not worthy of them? 

Do you find it difficult to articulate your own needs, especially to ask someone out? You could find this podcast useful. Learn about what could be blocking your attempts, and how to get rid of them.

Give yourself the chance to build relationships confidently with the help of this episode

RELATED  BOOK: 7 Steps to Finding, and Keeping, ‘The One'!

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Meeting a new date is always exciting because of the potential and possibility of finding the right person for us. In fact, often we want that new friendship to succeed so much, so anxious for it to be 'perfect', we are likely to try to control its development by slowling it down as much as possible, and 'taking things slowly' to prevent any hurt or comflict. But is that helpful? And does it enable greater knowledge of each other between the couple? Does it really avoid hurt?

This podcast explains why trying to control a relationship instead of lettng it develop spontaneously often loses us what we are actually seeking.

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After some heady dating, are you feeling tired of the date's company, wishing for some breathing space, and even regretting the relationship? And is that really normal, or unusual? What do you do when you feel that way?

This podcast answers the question and explains the main reasons for this dilemma, and how they can be remedied.

RELATED BOOK: 7 Steps to Finding, and Keeping, ‘The One’

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If you've had a hurtful break up, how do you feel about it by now? If you are still feeling anger and frustration about it, perhaps it's time to let it go.

From the episode:  “So your date or spouse has hurt you, or you feel rejected and unwanted by a crush or someone you like. Bitter vengeful thoughts occupy your mind. You could cheerfully strangle them, too, because you feel really bad every time you think of them. But bitterness like that is useless and debilitating. It saps positive energy and should be avoided, for at least five important reasons.”

This podcast explains why holding on to anger over any relationship is not really helpful and could even be harmful in the lon-term. RELATED BOOK: Cheating & Betrayal: A Handy Guide to Reducing Its Impact

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• Have a burning question you'd like some answers to? Elaine might be able to help. Send a query today!

hat hidden factor could be killing relationships? For a start, n order to have a good relationship, the positives must outweigh the negatives by a large percentage.

"If negativity is creeping into your relationship it also crowds out the positive. It is like water seeping through walls, eventually weakening the structure. People usually feel motivated around others who are positive and energising, as well as those who help them to feel good about themselves. However, pushing aside or neglecting to address real problems is not the answer either, and can be just as harmful to the partnership."

This podcast explains the single most lethal force that destroys relationships.

It is a fact of life that the more we give thanks is the more we have to be thankful for (that Law of Attraction again). Our gratitude energy goes out and attract other similar energy and brings us back much more in return, just ask Oprah Winfrey, one of the richest women in the world. You don't ever have to do something wonderful to be a winner.

Never take anything or any day for granted because nothing is guaranteed to us. The fact that we are still alive on a new day is a particular gift and blessing. Express quiet thanks for your family, children, friends and everyone who has been there for you. By thanking your God, Universe or whatever you believe in for your blessings, you will get even more to be thankful for. Most important, you won’t have too many regrets about loved ones because you would have appreciated them every step of the way.

We all like to think that we are good friends to others. But those expectations between friends can often scupper the best friendships. Additionally, friendship is not just about what comes back to us. It's what others receive from our presence, too. Often we might be the whole world to someone who might seem indifferent, simply because they haven't got our confidence, security or assurance. Just because they are silent doesn't mean they don't care or appreciate you being there.

One can always spot the self-absorbed and the person just seeking an audience. The others who really need us and benefit from us, or who might secretly admire us, are more difficult to spot. So allow people to be who they are, and accept them as they wish to be, so long as they are not being offensive.

So what does being a 'good friend really mean?

This podcast offers an answer.

• Have a burning question you'd like some answers to? Elaine might be able to help. Send a query today!