Coparenting Beyond Conflict: High-Conflict Divorce and Custody Strategies

What if co-parenting conflict didn’t have to be a debate about who is right and who is wrong? In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol sits down with attorney, former judge, and mediator Sam Imperati to explore a different way of approaching conflict: moving from debate to exploration.

Sam shares what he learned from decades in litigation, on the bench, and in mediation—including why even the “winner” in a courtroom battle may walk away feeling depleted. He explains how conflict can become a self-perpetuating cycle of suspicion, documentation, and preparing for the next battle, with children caught in the middle.

The conversation centers on Sam’s “umbrella question,” a framework for identifying both parents’ needs while keeping their shared interests—and the best interests of their children—as the true north. Sol and Sam also discuss empathy, reasonableness, mediation, the “co-parent echo,” and how humor can sometimes help reset a tense interaction.

Links

Learn more about Sam Imperati and ICM Resolutions: https://www.icmresolutions.com/

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/
Use code BEYOND10 for $10 off BestInterest.

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/G6pUyAKFtBk

Keywords

co-parenting conflict, high conflict co-parenting, conflict resolution, mediation, co-parenting communication, umbrella question, collaborative co-parenting, divorce mediation, family court, co-parenting disputes, parenting conflict, children and divorce, emotional reactivity, empathy, negotiation, conflict management, parallel parenting, BestInterest, Sam Imperati

Key Takeaways

• Co-parenting conflict can become a cycle of suspicion, documentation, and preparing for the next battle.
• Focusing on the best interests of the children can provide a shared “true north” during difficult disagreements.
• The umbrella question shifts a conversation from debating positions to exploring both parents’ underlying needs and interests.
• Empathy and acknowledging the other parent’s perspective don’t require you to abandon your own position.
• Reasonableness, balance, and credibility can be powerful tools in conflict.
• A neutral third party can help create space for productive dialogue when direct negotiation has become difficult.
• Appropriate humor can sometimes reduce tension and help people reset during conflict.
• The goal isn’t always to win the argument—it’s to find a solution that works for the people involved.

Chapter Highlights

00:00 — Welcome & Meet Sam Imperati
01:05 — Where Sam Finds Peace
01:39 — From “Pit Bull” Attorney to Mediator
02:40 — What Sam Learned From the Bench
04:10 — When Winning Doesn’t Feel Like Winning
05:45 — When Co-Parenting Becomes a Case File
06:41 — Finding Your True North
07:46 — What Are We Teaching Our Kids?
08:35 — The Umbrella Question
11:57 — Who Belongs Under the Umbrella?
12:32 — Does Collaboration Make You Look Weak?
15:10 — The Co-Parent Echo
15:52 — Turning the Echo Into Preparation
18:24 — Why Reasonableness Matters
20:30 — Sam’s Unexpected Career in Comedy
22:18 — Humor in the Courtroom
23:55 — Can Humor Help in Conflict?
24:46 — Using Self-Deprecating Humor
25:48 — Lightning Round
28:18 — When Is a Dispute Resolvable?
28:40 — When One Parent Won’t Collaborate
30:03 — The Value of Reality Therapy
32:04 — Finding a Better Way Forward
32:17 — Where to Find Sam

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What happens when divorce doesn’t actually end the conflict? For some families, the dynamics that made a relationship difficult continue long after separation—through communication, finances, the court system, parenting disagreements, and the children. In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol sits down with high-conflict divorce coach Ksenia Muench to explore whether what we commonly call “high conflict divorce” is sometimes better understood as post-separation abuse.

Ksenia shares her own experience navigating a high-conflict divorce and explains how she learned to move from emotional reactivity toward clarity, discipline, and strategy. She and Sol discuss why traditional advice to “just get along for the kids” can sometimes make things worse, how parallel parenting and strong boundaries can reduce conflict, and why learning to disengage can be one of the most powerful things a parent can do.

The conversation also explores the practical realities of high-conflict family court cases, choosing an attorney, the Gray Rock method, and the ways AI can help parents communicate more neutrally—while also creating new risks when AI simply validates each parent’s version of events. Ultimately, Ksenia and Sol return to a powerful idea: you may not be able to change the other parent, but you can change your relationship to the conflict and reclaim your own power.

Links

• Thrive Again Divorce Coaching: ThriveAgainDivorceCoaching.com
• High Conflict Playbook: https://www.HighConflictPlaybook.com
• Uncoupled and Unfiltered podcast
• BestInterest — the co-parenting app: ⁠BestInterest
• Get 10% off BestInterest: Use code Beyond10
• Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

high conflict divorce, post-separation abuse, high conflict co-parenting, parallel parenting, Gray Rock method, divorce, high conflict personality, narcissistic abuse, emotional reactivity, co-parenting communication, family court, divorce attorney, parenting plan, boundaries, financial abuse, child alienation, co-parenting apps, AI and co-parenting, BestInterest, divorce recovery, divorce coaching, Ksenia Muench

Key Takeaways

• High-conflict dynamics don’t necessarily end when a divorce is finalized. Conflict can continue through communication, finances, parenting disputes, and the court system.
• What is commonly called “high conflict divorce” can sometimes involve patterns of post-separation abuse and continued attempts to maintain control.
• One of the most important shifts is moving from being reactive to being strategic.
• Parallel parenting can sometimes be more appropriate than trying to force collaboration between parents who have a highly conflictual relationship.
• The Gray Rock method can help reduce conflict by making your communication neutral, brief, and uninteresting to someone seeking an emotional reaction.
• Strong boundaries and disciplined communication can help parents avoid unnecessarily escalating conflict.
• Choosing the right attorney matters, particularly when a divorce involves significant conflict or safety concerns.
• AI can help parents neutralize emotionally charged messages and think through difficult situations—but it can also reinforce a person’s existing perspective if used uncritically.
• You don’t have to change the other parent to change your experience of high-conflict co-parenting.
• Healing from a high-conflict relationship can ultimately become an opportunity for personal growth, greater self-awareness, and a different way of living.

Chapter Highlights

00:00 — Welcome & Meet Ksenia Muench
01:11 — Where Ksenia Finds Peace
04:06 — Ksenia’s Journey Through Divorce
06:22 — Would You Still Get Divorced If You Knew How Hard It Would Be?
07:51 — Why Parenting Plans Can Fail Over Time
08:44 — Should Parallel Parenting Come First?
10:28 — How Ksenia’s Background Helped Her Navigate Divorce
12:12 — What Is High-Conflict Divorce, Really?
14:15 — How to Become Less Reactive
15:58 — How Parents Sabotage Themselves in Court
17:26 — When the Mask Starts to Slip
19:28 — Choosing the Right Divorce Attorney
20:53 — How to Choose an Attorney for a High-Conflict Divorce
22:21 — The High Conflict Playbook
23:40 — Why the Conflict May Continue After Divorce
25:32 — Taking Back Your Power
26:46 — The Gray Rock Method
28:41 — What Happens When You Stop Reacting?
30:18 — Can AI Help With High-Conflict Co-Parenting?
32:32 — The Dark Side of AI Validation
34:22 — Using AI to See Another Perspective
36:45 — Is High-Conflict Divorce Really Abuse?
37:05 — What Divorce Changed About Sol
37:35 — From Survival to Awakening
38:40 — Finding Growth After High-Conflict Divorce
39:42 — You’re Not Alone

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What happens when you fall in love with someone who already has a family?

In this episode, Sol and Louise sit down with stepmom coach and Stepmom Side podcast host Alicia Krasko to explore the realities of blended family life—including the parts nobody prepares you for. Together, they talk about finding your role as a stepparent, navigating exes and in-laws, managing the emotional intensity of custody transitions, and building a strong partnership when conflict from the other household inevitably affects your family.

Alicia shares her own journey from feeling overwhelmed and unsure of her place in her stepfamily to finding confidence, setting boundaries, and learning what she could—and couldn’t—control. She explains why connection needs to come before correction, why stepparents don’t need to be best friends with the other parent, and why the strength of the couple relationship is one of the most important foundations of a peaceful blended family.

Whether you’re a stepparent, dating someone with children, or trying to understand how blended family dynamics affect your coparenting relationship, this conversation offers an honest look at the challenges—and the possibility of finding peace without needing everything around you to change.

Learn more about Alicia Krasko: https://AliciaKrasko.com

Listen to the Stepmom Side podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-stepmom-side-podcast/id1698216989

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/NdWMUVAy3aI

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

Blended families, stepparenting, stepmom, high-conflict co-parenting, coparenting, stepparent boundaries, family systems, custody transitions, co-parent communication, parenting after divorce, stepmom burnout, in-law boundaries, parental alienation, emotional regulation, blended family dynamics, child wellbeing

Highlights

• Why Alicia prefers “stepmom” over “bonus mom.”
•  The unexpected challenges of entering a family in the middle of its story
• Why stepparents can feel pressure to immediately love, parent, and fit into an established family system.
• How insecurity can make ordinary blended-family conflicts feel like emergencies.
• Why the couple relationship is the foundation of a peaceful blended family
• How asking “How can I support you?” can change the way partners navigate conflict.
• Why custody exchanges can be emotionally intense for both children and adults.
• How children can seem like different people as they transition between households.
• Why clear house expectations can actually help children feel more secure.
• The difference between connection and correction—and why connection should come first.
• Why stepparents shouldn’t take either affection or rejection from their stepchildren personally.
• How to set boundaries with grandparents and in-laws who undermine parental authority
• Why you don’t have to be friends with your partner’s ex to have a healthy coparenting relationship
• How comparing your blended family to seemingly perfect families on social media can create shame.
• Why trying to control everything can lead to stepmom burnout.
• How to focus on what you can control when the other household is high conflict.
• The five-day, five-week, five-year question that can help put conflict into perspective.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction
01:07 Meet Alicia Krasko
02:06 Why “Stepmom” Instead of “Bonus Mom”?
03:12 The Biggest Surprise About Becoming a Stepmom
05:08 Navigating the Ex and Finding Your Role
08:41 What Changes in a High-Conflict Situation?
09:01 Keeping the Couple Relationship Strong
11:14 How Partners Can Support Each Other
13:41 The Emotional Intensity of Custody Transitions
16:36 How Kids Adapt Between Two Households
18:23 House Rules, Structure, and Boundaries
20:26 When a New Stepparent Changes the Family Dynamic
24:29 BestInterest AI Coparenting App
25:11 Grandparents and In-Law Dynamics
29:24 Setting Boundaries With Extended Family
33:16 Alienation and Grandparents Choosing Sides
36:20 Stepmom Lightning Round
36:41 The Biggest Mistake Stepmoms Make
37:28 What to Do When a Stepchild Pushes Back
38:14 Does a Stepmom Need a Relationship With the Biomom?
40:55 How Stepparent Burnout Happens
41:16 Building Connection With a Stepchild 
43:08 Alicia’s Advice for Stepparents in the Thick of It
43:48 Where to Find Alicia Krasko
44:18 Closing

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What happens when the conflict between co-parents becomes the center of family life—and the kids get caught in the middle? In this episode, Sol sits down with Hallie Strauss and Kate Alcamo, co-founders of The Co-Parent Collective, to explore how parents can reduce conflict, protect their children’s emotional wellbeing, and build healthier post-divorce family dynamics.

Hallie brings the perspective of a psychologist, parenting coordinator, custody evaluator, and mediator who works with families navigating high-conflict dynamics. Kate is a licensed marriage and family therapist and child specialist who helps parents understand divorce from the child’s perspective. Together, they offer complementary insights into everything from parenting coordination and parallel parenting to communication, identity shifts, and the ways children experience parental conflict.

They discuss why “spouse mind” can keep parents stuck in old relationship dynamics, why parallel parenting can sometimes be a healthy stepping stone rather than a failure, and how one parent de-escalating can dramatically change the temperature of a co-parenting relationship. They also share practical communication strategies, including BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm), writing messages as though a judge—or your child—might read them, and using technology to create boundaries around difficult communication.

The conversation also explores AI and co-parenting, the growing role of parenting coordinators, when professional teams can help support families, and The Co-Parent Collective’s Child-Centered Divorce Playbook.

Links

• Watch the full episode on YouTube
• Learn more about the Co-Parent Collective: ⁠thecoparentcollective.com
• Follow the Co-Parent Collective on Instagram: ⁠@TheCoparentCollective
• BestInterest — the co-parenting app: ⁠BestInterest
• Get 10% off BestInterest: Use code Beyond10
• Coparenting Beyond Conflict: ⁠CoparentingBeyondConflict.com
• Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

co-parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, divorce, parenting coordination, parenting coordinator, parallel parenting, collaborative parenting, child-centered divorce, child specialist, custody evaluation, co-parenting communication, BIFF communication, spouse mind, parent mind, emotional regulation, divorce and children, co-parenting apps, AI and co-parenting, identity shifts after divorce, conflict de-escalation, parenting plans

Key Takeaways

• Kids are affected more by how parents navigate divorce than by divorce itself. 
• Shift from spouse mind to parent mind. 
• Parallel parenting isn’t necessarily a failure. 
• You don’t have to engage in every conflict. 
• De-escalation can start with one parent. 
• Write every message as if someone else will read it. 
• BIFF can help keep communication focused: 
• Regulate before you respond.
• Children may know more than parents realize. 
• Children have their own divorce timeline.
• Parenting coordinators can provide structure and help keep professionals out of the conflict.
• Acceptance can be empowering. 
• When a child shares something alarming, start with validation. 
• Self-regulation and connection are powerful first steps. 

Chapter Highlights

00:00 — Welcome to Coparenting Beyond Conflict
01:04 — Finding Moments of Peace
02:10 — How Hallie and Kate Found Their Way Into Divorce Work
05:28 — What Does a Parenting Coordinator Do?
07:46 — Building a Professional Team Around High-Conflict Families
08:17 — Managing Triangulation in High-Conflict Cases
10:04 — When Does a Parenting Coordinator Have Binding Authority?
11:15 — How High Conflict Impacts Children
13:04 — Does It Take Two to Tango?
14:37 — The Power of De-Escalation
15:30 — Separating the Court Battle From the Co-Parenting Relationship
17:33 — How Parental Conflict Affects Kids Over Time
18:53 — Parallel Parenting vs. Collaborative Parenting
21:21 — Rebuilding Trust After Divorce
21:37 — The Identity Shifts of Divorce
22:37 — When You’re Afraid Everything Will Be Used Against You
23:49 — How to Communicate Without Escalating Conflict
25:36 — Write It as If Your Child Will Read It
26:27 — AI and the Future of Co-Parenting Communication
28:03 — The Child-Centered Divorce Playbook
30:02 — Lightning Round: The Biggest Co-Parenting Lessons
31:36 — The Three H’s: Hugged, Heard, or Helped?
32:28 — When Co-Parenting With a High-Conflict Ex Gets Easier
33:28 — What You Can Do Today
34:20 — Connect With The Co-Parent Collective

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

High-conflict co-parenting can leave you feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells—every text message, exchange, or court filing has the potential to pull you into another cycle of conflict. In this episode, Sol sits down with Bill Eddy, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, therapist, family lawyer, mediator, and creator of the internationally recognized BIFF® communication method.

Bill shares four decades of practical wisdom on how to communicate without escalating conflict, why trying to “teach the other parent a lesson” almost always backfires, and how parents can protect their children by modeling emotional regulation instead of getting pulled into reactivity. They also explore the promises and pitfalls of AI in co-parenting communication, Bill’s new SLIC framework for setting boundaries that actually work, and why the skills we teach our children today can help break cycles of conflict for generations to come.

Whether you’re navigating a difficult co-parent, supporting clients through family conflict, or simply looking for a more peaceful way forward, this conversation is packed with practical tools you can begin using immediately.

Learn more about Bill Eddy and the High Conflict Institute: https://highconflictinstitute.com/

Explore Conflict Influencer and the New Ways for Families program: https://conflictinfluencer.com/

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/r_Cktp5OGvk

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

Bill Eddy, High Conflict Institute, BIFF method, SLIC, high-conflict co-parenting, difficult co-parent, narcissistic co-parent, parallel parenting, co-parent communication, family court, emotional regulation, boundaries, setting limits, consequences, conflict resolution, AI communication, New Ways for Families, parenting after divorce

Key Takeaways

• The BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) helps reduce conflict without expecting the other person to change.
• One of the biggest communication mistakes is trying to teach the other person a lesson.
• Avoid the “Three A’s” in high-conflict communication: advice, admonishments, and apologies.
• Writing your own BIFF responses builds the mental habits that make conflict feel less overwhelming.
• AI can be a useful editing tool, but it shouldn’t replace developing your own communication skills.
• Children learn conflict patterns from their parents, including emotional regulation and relationship skills.
• Hostility and unpredictability are especially damaging for children in high-conflict homes.
• Teaching children flexible thinking, emotional regulation, moderate behavior, and self-reflection helps build lifelong resilience.
• Setting boundaries without meaningful consequences rarely changes high-conflict behavior.
• You’re not responsible for managing another person’s emotions—you are responsible for protecting your own peace.

Chapter Highlights

00:00 – Introducing Bill Eddy and the BIFF Method
03:25 – How BIFF Was Created
07:13 – Common BIFF Mistakes and the “Three A’s”
09:56 – AI, Communication, and Building Your BIFF Muscle
16:53 – How High Conflict Affects Children
22:41 – Teaching Kids the Four Big Skills for Life
25:21 – Can High-Conflict People Change?
27:20 – Introducing SLIC: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences
30:14 – Real Co-Parenting Boundary Examples
34:03 – How Family Court Has Changed Over Four Decades
38:05 – The Future of High-Conflict Family Court
40:14 – Where to Learn More About Bill Eddy

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What if the legal divorce is over—but the emotional relationship is still running the show?

In this episode, Sol sits down with relationship coach, therapist, author, and Save the Marriage podcast host Dr. Lee Baucom to explore why high-conflict dynamics often continue long after a marriage ends. Together, they unpack the hidden emotional systems that keep co-parents stuck in the same painful patterns and explain how lasting change can begin with just one person choosing to respond differently.

You’ll learn why reacting to your co-parent often reinforces conflict, how to reclaim your sense of agency even in difficult legal battles, what an “emotional divorce” really means, and why letting go of the need to control your ex can create a healthier future for both you and your children.

Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict co-parenting relationship or simply want to build healthier relationships going forward, this conversation offers practical insights and hope.

Learn more about Dr. Lee Baucom: http://SaveTheMarriage.com

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/PB-SEy2dadY

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

High-conflict co-parenting, emotional divorce, family systems, co-parent communication, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics, divorce recovery, family court, forgiveness, trust, parenting after divorce, personal responsibility, child wellbeing

Highlights

• Why divorce doesn’t end the relationship when you share children.
• The difference between reacting emotionally and responding from your values.
• How one parent can change the co-parenting dynamic—even if the other doesn’t.
• The three things you can actually control in a high-conflict relationship.
• Why trying to control your ex often keeps conflict alive.
• Understanding “emotional divorce” and why it matters.
• How resentment and disconnection fuel ongoing conflict.
• The difference between forgiveness, trust, apology, and reconciliation.
• What children need most during and after divorce.
• Practical ways to reduce regret and parent with integrity.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction
01:00 Meet Dr. Lee Baucom
04:45 Why Conflict Continues After Divorce
08:25 Responding vs. Reacting
12:10 Breaking People-Pleasing and Conflict Cycles
13:40 The Three Things You Can Control
15:34 BestInterest AI Co-Parenting App
15:58 Regaining Agency During High-Conflict Divorce
21:00 Family Systems and Emotional Patterns
28:35 Olive Branches, Forgiveness, and Moving Forward
31:00 Rebuilding Trust After Divorce
33:10 Helping Children Through Divorce
37:25 What Emotionally Healthy Co-Parents Do Differently
38:50 What Is an Emotional Divorce?
40:55 Final Advice for Parents Navigating Divorce
42:30 Where to Find Dr. Lee Baucom

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Nearly one in four adult children are estranged from at least one parent—a trend that’s becoming increasingly common, yet rarely discussed.

In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol sits down with parenting expert Catherine Hickem, founder of Parenting Adult Children Today and author of It’s Never Too Late to Be a Great Parent. Together they explore why parent-child relationships break down in adulthood, how divorce impacts family relationships across generations, and what parents can do now to build lasting trust with their children.

Whether you’re raising young children, navigating a divorce, or supporting an adult child through one, this conversation offers practical guidance for creating stronger family relationships that endure through life’s biggest transitions.

Learn more about Catherine Hickem: https://www.parentingadultchildrentoday.com/

Get Catherine's book, It’s Never Too Late to Be a Great Parent: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Never-Late-Great-Parent/dp/197179502X

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/H8pqZswdibE

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

adult child estrangement, parent-child relationships, parenting adult children, divorce and adult children, family estrangement, co-parenting, high-conflict divorce, grandparents and divorce, family communication, healthy boundaries, unconditional love, relationship repair, emotional safety, parenting after divorce, family healing

Key Takeaways

• Why adult-child estrangement is becoming so common
• The parenting mistakes that unintentionally push adult children away
• How divorce affects relationships across multiple generations
• What adult children really need from their parents during a divorce
• How grandparents can provide support without making conflict worse
• Why honesty, curiosity, and respect matter more than taking sides
• The “Four Pillars” of healthy relationships with adult children
• How unconditional love creates lifelong trust

Chapter Highlights

00:00 Introduction
01:40 The growing epidemic of parent-child estrangement
04:10 The most common reasons adult children cut off parents
08:20 Catherine’s own divorce and what it taught her about parenting
11:55 What adult children need from their parents during divorce
14:55 How grandparents can best support a child going through divorce
19:20 When your adult child asks you to cut off their ex
25:05 The transition from parenting children to parenting adults
25:30 The Four Pillars of healthy relationships with adult children
31:55 How parents can become a safe harbor instead of a source of judgment
33:40 Where to learn more from Catherine Hickem

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What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What does it mean to be a “legendary” father—especially when you’re navigating divorce, co-parenting, and the daily pressures of work and life?

In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol interviews Larry Hagner, host of the Dad Edge podcast and author of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood. Larry shares practical insights on what children truly need from their fathers: presence, emotional safety, and the willingness to repair after mistakes.

Larry explains why great parenting is a learnable skill, how staying together “for the kids” can sometimes do more harm than good, and why children often see us in a far more forgiving light than we see ourselves. He also offers concrete tools for becoming more present with your children, regulating your emotions during conflict, and communicating more effectively with both partners and co-parents.

Whether you’re a divorced dad carrying guilt, a parent struggling to stay calm under stress, or anyone who wants to create a more peaceful home, this conversation is full of compassionate and practical guidance.

Learn more about Larry Hagner and The Dad Edge: https://thedadedge.com/

Get Larry's book, The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood: https://thedadedge.com/legendary-fatherhood-book

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yY2JEqn0ses

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

legendary fatherhood, divorced dads, co-parenting, emotional regulation, presence, fatherhood skills, repair, psychological safety, parenting after divorce, conflict resolution, The Experience Cube, effective communication, parenting guilt, emotional safety, Dad Edge

Key Takeaways

• Children often see their parents more compassionately than parents see themselves.
• Great fatherhood is not innate—it is a skill that can be learned and strengthened.
• Repair after mistakes is one of the most important ways to build trust with children.
• Staying together “for the kids” is not always healthiest if the relationship is toxic.
• Kids spell love as T-I-M-E.
• Presence can be cultivated by fully engaging your senses in the moment.
• Conflict improves when you focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.
• Unspoken expectations are a major source of resentment.
• A peaceful home environment supports both parents and children.
• The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask yourself.

Chapter Highlights

00:00 – Introducing Larry Hagner and Legendary Fatherhood
01:11 – Why Your Kids See You Better Than You See Yourself
04:47 – Should Parents Stay Together for the Kids?
07:45 – Fatherhood as a Learnable Skill
11:39 – The Power of Repair
13:20 – Work Stress and Being Present with Your Kids
19:19 – Navigating Conflict and Emotional Triggers
21:57 – The Experience Cube Communication Tool
26:41 – Why Speaking Up Matters
27:04 – Creating Psychological Safety for Kids
27:58 – One Message for Parents Feeling Defeated
29:08 – Where to Find Larry Hagner

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What if divorce didn’t have to mean years of litigation, mounting legal fees, and a judge deciding your family’s future?

In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol speaks with Amanda Singer, a family law mediator and attorney who has spent more than 13 years helping couples resolve divorce and custody issues outside of court.

Amanda explains how mediation offers families a more collaborative and cost-effective path through separation. Rather than battling through attorneys, couples work with a neutral professional to create agreements around parenting plans, support, and property division while staying in control of the outcome.

They discuss what makes mediation successful, how therapists can improve outcomes, how to handle high-conflict personalities, and why parenting agreements should include a framework for future changes. Amanda also shares insights into premarital mediation and how prenuptial agreements can strengthen relationships before marriage.

Whether you’re facing divorce, navigating a challenging co-parenting relationship, or planning a future marriage, this conversation offers practical tools for reducing conflict and making thoughtful decisions.

Learn more about Amanda Singer and West Coast Family Mediation: https://westcoastfamilymediation.com/

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YY1hp4ocAYs

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords
family mediation, divorce mediation, co-parenting, parenting plans, family law, child custody, high-conflict divorce, conflict resolution, alternative dispute resolution, prenup, premarital mediation, child support, spousal support, blended families, bonus parents, divorce without court, custody agreements, emotional regulation, therapy and divorce, California mediation

Takeaways

• Conflict is normal, but how you handle it determines whether your family can move forward.
• Mediation allows parents to stay in control instead of leaving decisions to a judge.
• Couples do not need to agree on everything to benefit from mediation; they only need a shared commitment to work things out.
• Therapy can help parents regulate emotions and communicate more effectively during mediation.
• Parenting plans should include a process for revisiting decisions as children grow.
• Common future issues include screen time, social media, driving, and introducing new partners.
• Mediators can help balance power when one parent is more dominant or controlling.
• Blended family mediation can help bonus parents become part of the solution.
• Premarital mediation gives couples a collaborative way to create prenuptial agreements.
• Getting support early can prevent conflict from escalating.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Amanda Singer
02:06 Why Conflict Is Normal
04:17 What Mediation Really Looks Like
07:24 Who Is a Good Fit for Mediation?
09:28 How to Convince a Reluctant Co-Parent
11:06 Returning to Mediation as Children Grow
12:46 What Parenting Plans Often Miss
15:25 Managing Power Imbalances
17:14 Navigating High-Conflict Dynamics
19:00 Blended Families and Bonus Parents
23:03 Why Therapy Helps Mediation
27:39 Premarital Mediation and Prenups
31:58 Lightning Round Insights
35:08 One Final Piece of Advice

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

A high-conflict custody battle can make even the most devoted parent feel powerless. In this episode, Derek Salyers shares the deeply personal story of fighting for shared parenting after being falsely accused, cut off from his son for months, and pulled into a years-long family court battle.

Derek opens up about the mental health toll many fathers silently carry, the realities of parallel parenting, and why he believes the family court system still struggles with bias. He also shares how AI tools like ChatGPT helped him navigate legal documents, parenting plans, communication, and court preparation during one of the hardest periods of his life.

This episode contains discussion of suicide and mental health struggles. Please listen with care.

Learn more about Derek Salyers and Fathers for Fair Custody: https://fathersforfaircustody.com

Get Derek’s book, The Forgotten Fathers on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CBN8M3XB

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Custody Journal (Free Documentation Tool): https://custodyjournal.com

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rIqoK79LcrU

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords
high conflict custody battle, fathers rights, shared parenting, false accusations in family court, parallel parenting, fatherhood and divorce, custody battle mental health, AI for family court, right of first refusal, co-parenting communication

Takeaways

• Parallel Parenting Can Protect Peace: In some high-conflict situations, minimizing communication is healthier than forcing collaboration.
• AI Can Be a Powerful Tool: ChatGPT helped Derek understand legal language, prepare questions, structure communication, and think through parenting plans.
• Always Fact-Check AI: AI can hallucinate cases and legal information, making verification essential before using anything in court.
• Right of First Refusal Matters: Parenting plan clauses can significantly impact how much real parenting time each parent receives.
• Documentation Can Change Outcomes: Photos, videos, receipts, calendars, and journals can become critical evidence in custody disputes.
• Fathers’ Mental Health Needs Attention: Derek speaks openly about suicidal thoughts, isolation, and the emotional impact of losing contact with a child.
• You Can’t Control the Other Household: Peace often begins when parents stop trying to control what happens outside their parenting time.
• Growth Is Still Possible: Even in devastating circumstances, healing, self-reflection, and personal growth can emerge from the experience.

Chapters
01:27 – From Divorce to Parallel Parenting
04:22 – How AI Helped Build a Parenting Plan
08:04 – False Allegations & Losing Contact With His Son
13:18 – The Story Behind The Forgotten Fathers
16:48 – Men’s Mental Health During Custody Battles
20:16 – Fighting for Shared Parenting Rights
27:57 – The Risks and Benefits of Using AI in Court
32:19 – The Biggest Lie Fathers Are Told About Custody
37:00 – Letting Go of Control in Co-Parenting
39:55 – Advice for Parents in the Darkest Moments

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond