Cope Well - Behavior Therapy Skills to support Mental Health and Well-being

What This Episode Is About

Mindfulness doesn’t just change how you feel - it changes how you show up for others. This episode introduces non-judgmental listening, a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill that builds trust, deepens connection, and helps the people in your life feel truly seen and heard.

Key Insights

Most of us aren’t really listening - we’re waiting to talk. While someone else is speaking, our brain is already composing a response, making judgments, or drawing comparisons. It’s natural; we’re trying to build connections. Non-judgmental listening means dropping the agenda and fully receiving what someone shares.

Feeling heard is a fundamental human need. When someone feels truly understood - not fixed, not advised, just heard - they feel safe. Safety builds trust. Trust deepens connection.

Reflecting back is the skill. After someone shares, mirror it back in your own words. “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed.” No opinion, no advice - just proof that you were actually there.

Mindfulness makes this possible. Without presence, true listening is difficult. Mindfulness is what pulls you back to this person, this moment, this conversation when your mind wanders.

This Week’s Practice

In one conversation, listen without planning your response. When they finish, reflect back what you heard. Notice what shifts - in them, and in you.

You’d never let your best friend run on empty. So why do you do it to yourself? This “minisode” explores self-compassion as a productivity strategy — and why rest, movement, and kindness toward yourself aren’t indulgences. They’re necessities. Inspired by a real conversation about what it means to be a good friend to yourself.

Key Concepts: Self-compassion · Burnout prevention · Rest as productivity · Treating yourself like someone you love

Reflection prompt: What advice would you give your best friend if they came to you exhausted and unable to stop? Now give that advice to yourself.

Cope well, friends.

Are you exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering if anything will actually work?

In this episode, I cover the first four foundational concepts from my Mindful Behavior Therapy Curriculum. I used these concepts and adapted them for you - into an audio course, designed specifically for parents raising kids with behavioral and mental health challenges. These aren’t generic parenting tips. These are behavior therapy skills that address what’s actually happening - in your child’s nervous system AND yours.

In this episode:

Dialectics — Learn why “AND” is more powerful than “BUT,” and how holding two contradictory truths at the same time can stop the guilt spiral that’s quietly burning you out.

Mindfulness — Not meditation. Practical, in-the-moment awareness you can use when a plate just hit the kitchen floor. Learn how to create a gap between feeling and reaction - and why that gap changes everything.

Three States of Mind — Emotion Mind, Reasonable Mind, and Wise Mind. Understand why you make decisions you regret in hard moments, and how to access the balanced state that actually works when everything’s falling apart.

Validation — Your emotions are always valid. What you do with them is where responsibility comes in. Learn how validating your own feelings - instead of fighting them - keeps you out of the shame spiral and helps emotions move through faster.

Want the full course?

This episode is just the beginning. The complete Mindful Behavior Therapy audio course covers all ten concepts with deep dives, practical exercises, and real-life application for your specific challenges. It’s coming soon!

Join the Mental Health Coping Tools community on Skool.com to get lifetime access to the full audio course, weekly coaching, personalized strategies, and a community of parents who truly understand what you’re going through.

You don’t have to keep doing this alone.

👉 Join Mental Health Coping Tools on Skool – link here

Episode Summary

In this episode, I ask you to question a common excuse people make - not having enough time for self-care. Drawing on DBT’s PLEASE skill and the science of emotional regulation, I reframe self-care not as something extra you add to your day, but as something you weave into it. With practical, zero-cost strategies, I make the case that staying regulated is within your control - even on the hardest days.

Key Concepts

1. The “Life is Chaotic” Default When we respond to “how are you?” with “things are crazy” or “I’m so busy,” it’s a signal. Chronic dysregulation affects how we show up for work, relationships, and parenting. We can choose a different answer, but first we have to do the work to get there.

2. The DBT PLEASE Skill PLEASE is a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skill designed to reduce emotional vulnerability by caring for the physical body. The components include:

* PL — treating PhysicaL illness

* E — balanced Eating

* A — Avoiding mood-altering substances

* S — balanced Sleep

* E — getting Exercise

When these needs go unmet, our emotional baseline drops - meaning we become more reactive, less resilient, and harder to be around. Self-care at this level is clinical, not indulgent.

3. You Cannot Pour from an Empty Cup This is especially true for moms, parents, and caregivers who default to putting everyone else’s needs first. Depleting yourself doesn’t serve the people you love - it limits your capacity to show up for them. Prioritizing your own regulation is an act of care for those around you.

4. Self-Care Doesn’t Require Extra Time The biggest myth about self-care is that it requires a separate block of time. It doesn’t. Regulation can be built into activities you’re already doing - the key ingredient is intention, not more hours in the day.

5. Built-In Regulation Practices Small, woven-in moments of self-care that cost zero extra time:

* Breathwork while driving - box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4) in the car rider line

* Gratitude before coffee or meals - 30 seconds of genuine appreciation before your first sip activates the parasympathetic nervous system

* Mindful water drinking - feel the cold water in your mouth and body, notice the sensation, feel grateful for access to clean water; drinking intentionally is both mindfulness and physical self-care

* Mindful breaks at work - a walk to the bathroom or the water fountain is an opportunity to breathe, slow down, and check in with yourself

6. Starting the Day Regulated I begin each morning on my yoga mat - simple poses and breathwork to connect with Spirit and start the day calm and grounded. This sets the emotional tone for everything that follows.

7. The Reset Mindset When mornings go off the rails (and they will), the goal isn’t perfection - it’s continuity. If the morning routine gets derailed, you don’t write off the day. You find the next available moment: breathwork in the car, a mindful pause in the parking lot, an intentional sip of water. Regulation is something you return to all day, not something you do once and lose.

8. Building Resilience Through Small Moments Consistent, small regulation practices build nervous system resilience over time. The more you return to yourself throughout the day, the less completely derailed you become when hard things happen. This is the compounding effect of micro self-care.

Connect with Dr. Ashley DeLuccia on Skool

Parent Community - Mental Health Coping Tools - Skills for Calm and Happy Kids

* Q&A Monday evenings at 7PM EST

* Breathwork sessions Fridays at 5PM

Episode Description

In this deeply personal episode, I continue sharing my healing journey and the transformation that led me to create Cope Well. I open up about the pivotal moment when I realized I had control over my emotions rather than letting them control me, and how that shift changed everything.

I walk you through the practical tools and practices that helped me heal: mindful meditation, yoga teacher training, breathwork, and learning to rewire my subconscious mind. Most importantly, I share how I learned self-compassion and self-love after years of feeling unworthy.

This episode is for anyone who feels trapped in unhealthy patterns, struggles with their relationship with themselves, or wonders if real change is even possible. Spoiler: it absolutely is.

Key Topics Covered

* The turning point: choosing to take control of your healing journey

* Moving from victim mentality to empowerment

* Somatic processing and titrating between peace and difficult emotions

* How mindfulness, breathwork, and yoga supported my healing

* Learning self-compassion and self-love in practical, daily ways

* Setting boundaries without guilt

* Rewiring neural pathways for positive patterns

* Why your past behaviors don’t define you

Actionable Takeaways

* Acknowledge your reality - You can’t change what you’re unwilling to admit is happening

* Start small - Choose one simple practice (awareness, mindful walk, daily gratitude, one boundary)

* Seek support - Therapy, community, support groups, or a trusted friend

* Practice self-compassion - Speak to yourself as you would someone you deeply love

* Believe change is possible - Because it is, and I’m living proof

Resources

* Somatic healing/processing meditation

* Mental Health Skool community

* Acceptance Affirmations for Processing Difficult Emotions

Connect With Me

If you’re struggling or don’t know where to start, please reach out. I’m here to support you, help you feel seen and heard, and guide you on your first steps toward healing.

Remember: You deserve to be seen, heard, and valued. Change is possible. You can heal. And you are worth every single step of that journey.

Until next time, be kind to yourself and cope well.

This is why I created Cope Well. I finally open up about what it took to recognize my worth, start a new life, and ultimately build Cope Well as a resource to help others who are struggling in silence.

Key Takeaways

1. I see you when you suffer in silence. Emotional problems don’t always look the way people expect.

2. Accepting unhappiness as “normal” is more common than we think. I accepted pain and invisibility as a default.

3. Suppressing emotions doesn’t heal you - it delays the breaking point. I learned the hard way that stuffing emotions down only delays the inevitable. The body keeps the score.

4. Your emotions are trying to tell you something, so listen. When emotional pain begins showing up physically or in ways that can no longer be ignored, it’s a signal. Emotions are a valuable part of who you are, and they deserve your attention.

5. Wanting to change is the first step. Before healing can begin, there has to be a desire and willingness to make a change.

6. Traditional support isn’t always enough. I tried therapy, saw doctors, and was on medication - and while those things helped, no one taught me how to process suppressed emotions, rebuild my self-worth, set boundaries, or prioritize myself.

7. Cope Well was born out of a gap no one filled. I wished someone had given me practical tools for healing and happiness. Through my difficult experience, I got to create them.

Resources to help

* Safety and Stillness Meditation - A guided meditation designed to help you sit with and acknowledge your emotions. The link will take you to Insight Timer - a free meditation app - but I think this track is for those who pay for the app. I will also send it to my paid subscribers. Enjoy!

Thank you for listening to the Copewell Podcast. If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who might need to hear it.

This week I share a simple yet effective grounding technique for managing anxiety and panic attacks that I used with my daughter during a moment of panic for her.

Key Takeaways

The Grounding Technique

* I relate this to a crisis survival skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

* This grounding strategy uses your senses to anchor you in the present moment and stop spiraling thoughts of panic

* Particularly helpful when anxiety pulls you into worst-case scenario thinking

* Useful when deep breathing feels inaccessible due to panic

How It Works

* Notice when anxiety is present (requires self-awareness)

* Look around and silently name three things in your environment

* Add details to each item: color, shape, texture, size, sound, smell

* Continue naming items or adding details until anxiety lessens

* Practice without judgment

Skill Stacking Tip

* For panic attacks, combine this grounding technique with calming physical positions:

* Put your legs up against a wall (elevate feet)

* Lower your head below your heart while sitting

* These positions can help slow breathing while practicing the grounding activity

Why This Works

* Pulls you out of anxious thoughts and back to what’s real in the moment

* Stops the spiral of worry and future-focused storytelling

* Helps regain a sense of control

* Similar to the 5-4-3-2-1 technique but quicker for crisis moments

Important Practice Notes

* Practice during calm moments to build the skill for when you really need it

* The more you practice when calm, the easier it will be to use during difficult times

* Even small reductions in anxiety can help you regain control

Additional Resources Mentioned

* Anxiety Grounding Breath video on YouTube

* Mental Health Coping Tools community on School.com

Practice this technique ahead of time so your brain and body remember what to do when anxiety shows up. Cope well!

Ugh. I’ve recorded so many things for you guys to learn and grow in the past two months. But…the universe had other plans.

Sadness, frustration, whatever you’re feeling - you don’t need to create a story around it. You can simply feel what you’re feeling, validate it, and let it move through you. Science shows emotions pass within 60-90 seconds when we don’t continue them with our silly worry thoughts.

The real measure of resilience isn’t how many times life knocks you down, but how many times you choose to get back up. You only lose when you stop trying.

For anyone wanting more coping content…

Join the free Mental Health Coping Tools community on Skool to connect with others and have access to more of my content. Access support when you need it most. You’re not in this alone - let’s build emotional resilience together because (goodness knows) I’m in this too. :)

Sending love, Dr. Ashley

Feeling overwhelmed by holiday expectations? You’re not alone. In this episode, I share a personal moment of stress about being behind on pretty much everything - and how I use mindful behavior therapy skills to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion. Discover why slowing down isn’t giving up, and learn practical tools to help you navigate this busy season with more ease and presence.

Key Takeaways:

The Three Components of Self-Compassion:

* Mindfulness - Acknowledging what you’re feeling without judgment

* Common Humanity - Recognizing that struggle is part of being human

* Self-Kindness - Speaking to yourself like you would a good friend

Four Practical Skills You Can Use Today:

1. The Pause Practice Set three daily reminders to stop and take three slow, present breaths

2. The Self-Compassion Break When self-criticism arises, place your hand on your heart and say:

* “This is a moment of difficulty”

* “Difficulty is part of life”

* “May I be kind to myself”

Your worth isn’t measured by your productivity or how well you perform the holidays. The most important gift you can give is your presence, your authenticity, and your willingness to show up as your imperfect, beautifully human self.

#SelfCompassion #MindfulBehaviorTherapy #MentalHealthSkills #HolidayStress #CopingSkills #MentalWellness #SlowDown #CopeWell

Episode Summary

In this episode, I share an approach to breaking free from a negative self-concept. Based on a vulnerable moment with my daughter, I explain why forced positivity backfires and introduce a gentler path forward: validation and acceptance.

Key Takeaways

* When someone is locked in a negative self-concept, contradicting them triggers defensiveness

* Our brains are confirmation machines, unconsciously seeking evidence for what we already believe

* Start by finding something neutral - just accepted

* We cannot recognize qualities in others that we don’t already hold within ourselves

* Complimenting others activates neural pathways for appreciation and recognition

* When we learn to see ourselves with even a fraction of the compassion we show others, recognizing that the good we see in the world reflects the good within us -that’s freedom.

* You are not your thoughts. You’re not the harsh voice in your head. You’re so much more.

Practice

* Find one thing you can accept about yourself

* Compliment others, then ask yourself: “How do I recognize this quality? What in me knows what this looks like?”

Cope well.