Coulda Woulda Shoulda

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On this week's episode, Barrett and John get a letter from Herbert, a man who can't get a job. The lads offer a few pointers on what a job actually is, and gives Herbert a great, well thought out and rational solution. Then, John helps out Jenine, a scullery maid who has some dirty details about her lord of the manor. Can she reach the tabloids in time before he sets off to Barbados?

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John Mango tantalises us this week by teasing a new DIY project, and Barrett gives us another number fact. The guys try and help Knockers McGraw, who is having a problem talking to women. Is it a biological or a mental problem? Well the boys will have to figure that out before they can advise a course of action. Cranky the clown is up next, and Barrett gives him a call to help him out of a very messy situation: Cranky's gone and got his balloons stuck in a toilet...while at a kid's party! Let's just hope everyone can get out of that while remaining somewhat hygienic.

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Today's episode is a music special! As such, Barrett and John help out various musicians with their conundrums. Before all that however, we get to exclusively play DJ Axiological's new track ''On Full Power", and it is a banger. The Featured Problem this week comes from 4NONYMOUS_, a man who is stretched too thin playing in more bands than you can shake a drumstick at. The boys give him some advice, which may sound rather pessimistic to some, but it really is the best option. Then Rick Rotten phones in to get some assistance with John on his new punk track. We should warn you that it is the single sweariest segment we've ever had on the podcast, but the resulting song is well worth it.

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Barrett finally has someone checking his arm out, and John has noticed something about the weather. They get a letter from DJ Axiological, who wants to make an amazing dance track. He thinks the boys are his lyrical ticket to the number one spot. Then, Barrett helps Albert the fisherman as he tries to lure in some prize Narwhals. But the only way to catch one is to sing to them!

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Barrett’s not aware of the date today, and it becomes apparent that a lot of people around him are taking advantage of that, including John Mango. The boys’ Featured Problem this week comes from Dean the postie, who’s dealing with a very peculiar resident on his route. There are simple solutions, and there are convoluted ones, and Barrett and John decide to give a few of each. Then in the Roleplay Problem, it’s William, a 30-year-old man who hasn’t aged physically since he was 10-years-old. Being an expert in children, John has his ways to make him to grow up, and fast!  

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Barrett has been trying to salvage any use for his arm by tattooing it with interesting artwork. John has a burning question which he DEMANDs Barrett to answer, even if the answer is impossible to come up with. The boys then get a letter from Amy G Dala, who is having a big problem with her 'breathing' head. Can Barrett and John work out why her head is overly large in the morning, and crinkly at night? Finally, Barrett becomes something he never expected: a cop. He helps Billy the Bobby try to calm two old men down, who have trapped themselves together using a Chinese finger trap. Can Barrett help Billy cut them loose?

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Barrett has been learning to drive, despite his worrying gangrene in his arm. John as been learning stupid facts, which Barrett finds unimpressive. The boys get into a heated argument during quickfire questions, but then reconcile as they help hacker ByteSlayer3 beat his nemesis PissBoy420 in a hacker war. Then John goes on an adventure with 10 year old Sir Stabalot, the youngest knight of the realm. Can John help him defeat the mighty dragon Wart?

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Barrett's arm is bad. Really bad. John wants to help, but Barrett is as stubborn as ever. The first problem comes from none other than Fred Perry, who has had a nasty tennis accident. He has been given an 'anti-persperent' wrist contraption that he wants to ask the boys about. Is it safe? Then Barrett helps the wizard Gerry who is sitting a practical exam. Can Gerry pass with a flick of his wand?

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Barrett comes into the studio with a runny nose this week, he had caught the dreaded lergy. John had to shut his restaurant down, which comes as no surprise to anyone. The boys first are contacted by Fernando, who has a friend constantly impersonating celebrities and never breaking character. Whatever can Fernando do to stop this blatant show of frailness? Then John must help serial criminal Rubberhead escape the streets of Camden. How can John get Rubberhead to Watford when the police are hot on his tail??

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Barrett and John return with some dark news. The Donk civilisation are no more... On the bright side, Barrett has a new girlfriend, and John has opened a Chinese restaurant. The guys receive a letter from little Luke, who knows of a bed drug-peddler and wants him GONE. Finally, Barrett goes full Indiana Jones as he assists the apprentice treasure hunter Charlie Von Skoopie find the Holy Grail for his final assessment. Could the Grail have been underneath Hull for all this time??