Courage to Heal

“Other people had it so much worse.” If you’ve ever said that about your own story, this episode is for you.

Trauma isn’t the event itself. It’s what happens when something overwhelms your ability to cope. In this episode, Anna breaks down what trauma does to your mind and body, and why it deserves to be taken seriously.

You’ll learn:

• The difference between single-incident trauma and chronic (complex) trauma
• The signs of PTSD and Complex PTSD, and why CPTSD isn’t in the DSM-5
• How trauma changes your body through cortisol, oxytocin, and substance P
• What the ACE study found about childhood trauma and long-term health
• What vicarious trauma and “little t” trauma are
• Why some people develop PTSD and others don’t
• What helps people heal, including EMDR, IFS, mindfulness, and somatic work

Wondering if your past left a deeper mark? Grab Anna’s free Trauma Signs Checklist below.

FREE Trauma Signs Checklist

ACE Study Blog Post

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

Are people with bipolar disorder more creative? Or is that just a myth?

In this episode of Courage to Heal, therapist Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, looks at what the research really says about bipolar disorder and creativity. Then she sits down with surrealist artist Hagen Surgener, who lives with bipolar 1.

Hagen talks openly about his first manic episode, the years he spent denying his diagnosis, and what finally helped him accept it. He shares how hypomania makes his art look angrier and depression makes it darker. And he explains why medication made it easier to create, not harder.

In this episode:

• Why the “tortured artist” story leaves out half the picture
• How Hagen uses music, CBT, and his brother to catch mania early
• What gallery rejection does to a bipolar brain, and why he keeps going anyway

If you live with bipolar and make art, this one is for you.

You can find Hagen on Instagram @kittyhazklawz and on his website at www.rhr-surgener-art.com.

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

Medication matters. But it’s not the whole story.

Anna starts with the 4 S’s of bipolar self-care: sleep, substance use, stress, and support. Then Jess Kanotz of Our Bipolar shares her story. She spent 8 years on the wrong meds before finding a psychiatrist who got it right. Today she works full-time, is married, and is raising a daughter with Bipolar 1.

Jess talks about her sleep routine, quitting caffeine and alcohol, tuning out the news, and why she waited until 40 to go public.

Want real steps toward stability? Start here.

You can find Jess on Instagram and Facebook @ourbipolar. You can also check out her YouTube videos and read her blog. 

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

Sydney thought her mood swings were PMDD. Then a hospital stay led to a new answer: bipolar 2.

In this episode, Anna explains what bipolar 2 really looks like, from hypomania that feels like a great week to depression that won’t let go. Sydney shares her 3 a.m. impulse buys, the medication side effects no one warned her about, and how ECT changed her recovery. She also talks about why building support while you’re stable can save you later.

If bipolar 2 has ever felt invisible, this one’s for you.

You can find Sydney on Instagram @bipolarandbougie and on TikTok @bipolarandbougie.

You can download the Safety Plan HERE.

You can find virtual support groups for bipolar HERE.

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

Megan was floating on her therapist’s couch, talking too fast for him to get a word in. That’s how she found out she had bipolar 1.

In this episode, Megan Racioppo shares what mania and psychosis really felt like. She talks about neon lights in her backyard at 4 a.m., a man she was sure lived in her attic, and the long crash into depression afterward. She’s honest about bipolar rage, medication side effects, and the hurt of hearing “I thought you were normal.”

First, I walk you through the signs of a manic episode and the tools that help you catch it early. That includes a free mania contract you can download.

Whether you live with bipolar 1 or love someone who does, this one is real, raw, and hopeful. Stability is possible. Megan is living proof.

You can find Megan on Instagram @thisismegan_r and @handmadebymegan1.

Download the mania contract HERE.

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

Ever feel like you’re getting hit twice? When you live with bipolar and ADHD, that’s often exactly what happens. In this episode, I talk with Hailey Rose, a mental health advocate who lives with bipolar type 1, ADHD, and CPTSD.

Hailey gets honest about how the two conditions feed each other, from sleepless nights and impulsivity to rage, meltdowns, and stigma. We also talk about what it’s like to feel numb on medication, and why she keeps taking it anyway. Then she shares what has helped most: radical acceptance and a lot of self-compassion.

If you live with bipolar or ADHD, or love someone who does, you’re not alone. This one’s for you.

You can find Hailey on Instagram @mind.over.mood and TikTok @mind.over.mood

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

What if you could be a healthy mom while living with bipolar disorder?

Michelle Reittinger, mom, mental health advocate, and founder of My Upside of Down, knows this question well. In this episode, she shares her path from hospital stays and deep mom guilt to real, lasting recovery.

Michelle talks openly about getting diagnosed, the hard parts of pregnancy and postpartum, and what finally helped her heal. That includes micronutrients, mindfulness, and EMDR for trauma. She also shares how to track your mood cycles, speak up for yourself with doctors, and get the most out of therapy.

If you’re a mom with bipolar, or you love someone who is, this conversation offers validation, practical tools, and hope. Healing is possible. Michelle is living proof.

• You can find Michelle at her website, My Upside of Down and on Instagram @theupsideofbipolar

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

In this powerful episode of Courage to Heal, host Anna Khandrueva dives into the often-overlooked connection between trauma and bipolar disorder. Anna begins by unpacking how early experiences of emotional abuse and neglect can leave lasting imprints on mental health — particularly for those living with bipolar disorder.

Joined by "Isabella" (name changed for privacy), a musician and former teacher navigating life with bipolar II, they explore her deeply personal journey from childhood trauma to diagnosis. Isabella shares how trauma shaped her relationships, her challenges with stigma and self-doubt, and her ongoing search for stability.

Together, they discuss the bittersweet realities of creativity and bipolar disorder, the healing power of EMDR therapy, and the courage it takes to seek help, even when shame and fear feel overwhelming.

This candid conversation offers validation, hope, and a reminder that healing is possible.

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

In this heartfelt episode of Courage to Heal, host Anna Khandrueva, psychotherapist and mental health advocate, sits down with her husband, Ken, for a candid conversation about living alongside bipolar disorder.

While the focus often rests on the individual diagnosed, Ken shares the rarely heard partner’s perspective: the challenges, fears, and deep commitment involved in supporting a loved one through the highs and lows of bipolar disorder.

Together, Anna and Ken discuss how receiving the diagnosis impacted their relationship, the learning curve of understanding bipolar disorder, and the importance of compassion, vigilance, and open communication.

Ken offers honest insights on coping with manic and depressive episodes, maintaining trust, and the everyday realities of loving someone with bipolar disorder.

Whether you are living with bipolar disorder or supporting a loved one who is, this episode offers validation, hope, and a powerful reminder that lasting love is possible.

Grab the free guide for loved ones of people with bipolar HERE.

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

You were told it was depression. The antidepressants made things worse, not better. And in between the dark stretches, there were those strange bursts of energy, big ideas, and spending you couldn’t explain.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Up to 40% of people with bipolar disorder are first diagnosed with depression.

In the first episode of Courage to Heal, I share my own story. I’m a therapist, and I live with bipolar type 1. It took years, two medical leaves, and a new psychiatrist before anyone asked the right questions. Getting the right diagnosis changed my life.

In this episode, I cover:

• What bipolar disorder is, and how mania and hypomania differ
• The three types of bipolar (type 1, type 2, and cyclothymia)
• Why bipolar is so often misdiagnosed
• How bipolar connects to anxiety, ADHD, and trauma
• What helps: medication, sleep routines, support from loved ones, and therapies like IPSRT and family-focused therapy

Bipolar is a lot more than mood swings. It’s serious, and it’s hard to treat. But people do get better. I’m living proof.

HOST BIO:

Anna Khandrueva, LCSW, is a trauma and couples therapist and owner of Courage to Heal Therapy in Broomfield, Colorado. She uses EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-focused approaches to help adults heal from complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect, and helps couples build stronger, more connected relationships. Her practice is LGBTQIA+ and neurodiversity affirming. Anna grew up in 1980s Russia, worked in finance before becoming a therapist, and brings both lived experience and clinical skill to every conversation.

Anna’s Website: https://www.couragetohealtherapy.com

Anna’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/couragetohealtherapy

Bipolar Resources

1. International Bipolar Foundation
2. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Groups
3. Carenity forum
4. Bipolar Hope forum
5. My Support forum
6. Daily Strength forum

Bipolar Subreddits

1. General bipolar subreddit
2. Secondary bipolar subreddit
3. Bipolar type 1 subreddit
4. Bipolar Type 2 subreddit
5. Bipolar humor
6. Bipolar art