Creepy zealot Mike Johnson barely won the speakership again. We learned more about the Army veteran who blew himself up in a Tesla Cyber truck at a Trump Vegas hotel. Diddler and former GOP Congressperson Matt Gaetz’s debut on OANN was a clinic on how not to do makeup. Cokey Smurf, AKA Don Jr., blathered criticisms upon New Year’s Eve guests at Mara Lago where his android sister-in-law Lara butchered another Tom Petty song. Shark Tank oligarch Kevin O’Leary wants Canada to be absorbed by the US. Tooty Rudy Giuliani faced contempt hearing for not turning over assets to the election workers he defamed. Shitler is angry-pants because flags will be at half-mast during his inauguration in honor of President Jimmy Carter. A bizarre Christian scheme named after an obscure Bible reference was launched by evangelical load Lance Wallnaus. Apartheid mouth-breather Elon Musk hasn’t been convincing portraying alter ego Adrian Dittmann.